Feb 21, 2021
It's 1am and I'm making food and I was trying to be as quiet as I could and I dropped the baking sheet, it was the loudest thing in the universe, my parents are gonna kill me for waking them in the middle of the night aaaaaa
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It's 1am and I'm making food and I was trying to be as quiet as I could and I dropped the baking sheet, it was the loudest thing in the universe, my parents are gonna kill me for waking them in the middle of the night aaaaaa
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Aarrrrrh I’m reaaaaallly not pleased with how this came out but it’s Jessilee so here 💖
was supposed to write a lot in my journal to prepare me for the coming but i didnt even open it today
So when did you decide you were queer? HAve you always been ''out'', or did you have some tough highschool moments like the rest of us?
You know 🤔 I might make a YouTube video about this. I’ve been feeling it, and it is almost pride. I really want to do this!
I thought I was 100% straight in HS (although I was still a queer being)
Oh boy but freshman year of COLLEGEEEE. I called my best friend Tracey in a panic over this girl I met named Brandy.
“TRACEY I THINK…i think I wanna kiss a girl?? But they dress like a boy…AM I GAY??? Does that make me gay????” How do u handle being 18 and suddenly experiencing extreme sexual attraction for a new kind of person you’d never seen before. I keep stressing “a new kinda person” aka queer people because you have to remember — everyone looked like Paris Hilton where I’m from. Im from Mean Girls country TM. Literally. ALSO then it begged the question…how do I have sex with this person?!. Sex is…PIV (so I thought) so…so do I get a strap on? Do they?? IDK how to go down on someone with no dick???? FUCKSJWIWUW (I was at a huge loss. I knew nothing. Like Jon snow. I ….I was Jon Snow)But anyways, Brandy didn’t look like Paris Hilton.
Brandy looked like Justin Bieber. U know the look.
Bowlcut shaggy hair swept to the side, etc etc. Y’all know what I mean. And oh baby it was like being electrocuted. Brandy and I became close. Lots of “sleepovers”. And I really do mean sleepovers. God I was so sexually attracted to her style and her mannerisms. I was like “this girl..they’re like…an incredibly sexy “boy”?
This was 2010/2011. See I still didn’t KNOW that having the feelings I had was ok and real.
4 years later in 2015 I made another best friend who introduced me to the word queer. Not straight. Not bi. Not gay. Not lesbian, but just simply queer. Lightbulbs flew on and I’ve never been the same. I started actively looking for gender nb dating apps and realized I can actually pursue…queer dating. I’ve selected “women” just so I could rid myself of cis men. But I did so knowing that there’d be all kinds, but im into gender nb more masc expressing “women” I say with quotes because that was the category I had to choose on all the dating apps.
Boy if I make a YT video I can talk about how in 2016 or 17 I flew to [REDACTED LOCATION] to a lovely young woman who would be my first real queer kiss. I had plans to bed her and oh god I was so excited but was I ready? NOT AT ALL
We both wound up getting too drunk and thew up and passed out all weekend! It’s hilarious now but oh god did I fuck up big time there. I’m not a top idk what I’m DOINNNN and it showed 🤣 we didn’t hook up at all. I was there for 3 days and we only kissed once (drunkenly) because I couldn’t get it together enough to put the moves on her.
I talk big game and then get myself into trouble 😅Also I really don’t like “like the rest of us”Not everyone’s out story is the same. I feel like this is that first anon again. So to anyone reading this that felt ostracized by their snarky “like the rest of us” quip, don’t. You figure yourself out on your own time and it’s JUST AS VALID. My sexuality has really come under fire the past few hours DAMN.
So, I got into Blood Blockade Battlefront... it backfired though because I got my fiance into it too and he’s already on season 2.
I’m on episode 4 of the first season.
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Maybe if i clean up the edges?
first day of college was kinda awful but I’ll take it .-.
thefairythatcouldkilldragons replied to your post “thefairythatcouldkilldragons replied to your post “Do you have any...”
OI! You better, its really good and THE BROTPS ARE REAL. IT PUTS GRATSU TO SHAME
SWEET. I look forward to it!! Perhaps I'll watch some tonight. I'm sick of studying for my Econ exam anyway, and this research paper isn't going anywhere. Hahaha.