#fahree

For me it’s Käärijä for 2023, Baby Lasagna and one of the dudes from 5miinust (I keep on forgetting his name but maybe you know which one I’m thinking of) for 2024 and all three members of KAJ for 2025

Well, let me give you mine 😋

2023: Marco, such an easy win!

2024: Fahree

2025: Go-Jo

Hasan Heydar, the guitarist of Mamagama (Azerbaijan 2025) was one of the writers for Azerbaijan's 2024 song "Özünlə Apar" by FAHREE feat. Ilkin Dovlatov.

[Source]

26. AZERBAIJAN Fahree ft Ilkin Dovlatov - "Özünlə apar" 36th place

Decade Ranking: 98/153 [Above James Newman, below The Roop]

We're nearing that point of the ranking where I'm feeling "okay this is enjoyable moreso than flawed", but there are a few entries on that cusp that just fall short.

And I think Azerbaijan are a very good example of that, actually. If you wanted to know the entry that is the most smack-dab-average of the year's musical representation look no further. "Özünlə apar" is the posterchild of this contest - an entry that showcases its home country's musical traditions while also not being particularly competitive.

On a bad-to-good scale,"Özünlə apar" lands at "Not Bad". Which is... fine? But is that something Eurovision songs should strive for?

Well, staging and context can improve matters, but in Azer's case those worked against them. Semi 1's second half was a weaksauce affair, and I felt like Azerbaijan were one of the main contributers to that. You have this not uninteresting ethnic mugham song with two conventionally attractive vocalists that -by their sheer appearance- exhude massive sexual tension (both of their looks are so gay-coded lmao <3). It can become good, if you give it the right care.

This is not the right type of care:

Those visuals would work for Veronika maybe (god Raiven WOULD kill for that backdrop wouldn't she?) but for an ethnic ballad, eh. Wouldn't it be better to just focus on the main vocalist? Try to make it intimate rather than have him swallowed by the LEDS (i am SO not marking Natalia down for the same thing btw, dwi) The "big prop on an empty stage framed by copious wideshots" staging is not one that suits the genre.

(tho lol at how you can see the crew WHEEL THE HANDS ON THE STAGE in the background of this gif)

We saw with Hersi's "One Night's Anger" and Blas Canto's "Voy a quedarme" how the deadly combination of slow + empty can murder an average song's immersion, and I felt like this was one such example. Staging that outclevers the audience is a thing of the past, Azerbaijan. Back to the "Miracles", I think, or you will not see a final for a long, long time.

And since this one was a short write-up, let's add in a second:

25. GERMANY Isaak - "Always on the run" 12th place

Decade Ranking: 93/153 [Above Malik, below Sudden Lights]

Like Fahree and Ilkin, Isaak is right on the cusp of the Green Zone, but falls just short. I feel like the year was good enough for me to not cling to a "Not Bad" banger.

That said, I did feel like Isaak was marginally better than the average German entry - half a decade behind the pop curve, as per Germany's usual (I mean, the German jury 12'd Sweden. SWEDEN!!) but catchy enough. The real ringer was always Isaak himself. I don't know why the Germans were so outraged about when the international jury put him first (esp since Isaak also won the Televote? lmao). When in doubt, pick someone who can perform, you dipshits. I saw the German NF live (it was -mothershocker- really bad) . The only two that came anywhere near "serving" (SMFD RYK & MARIE!!) and didn't have a song that made me wish homicide on the composer/performer (DIE MAX!!) were Isaak and Bodine Monet? And Germany were NEVER going to pick an individual with a vision and a personality, let alone if that person is Dutch, not Deutsch, so~

Indeed, it was always Isaak's ability to sing while emoting that made me question whether I just liked him or liked the combo of him + the song, but I now know it's the former. "Always on the run" is -again- Not Bad, but we've had so many fucking Counting Stars pass pver the counter over the years (the fact that I've spent YEARS headcanoning "Counting Stars" as ID despite KNOWING it's a 1R song says enough for how fucking interchangeable these "indie" poprock songs are). How can one be excited by one at this point, I don't understand.

However, if Isaak's live skills were my main draw, then we must also admit that the performance in the Semi (the non-canonical one) was better than the one in the Grand Final. The one in the GF felt like one where Isaak went through the motions of Having To Perform. Maybe it was the backstage tension, maybe it was because Tuesday had a piss-poor line-up that made him look better, maybe it was the bad R/O that put him behind the far more exciting Ukraine, but Finale Isaak was just kinda there for me, singing his song one final time, neither adding nor detracting from the proceedings. That is hand-on-heart a high yellow, not a green, so here we are.

But I do think it's good the juries handed him a 12th place (is 12th the default placement all the generic dated radio pop gets nowadays? Cannot wait to confirm that again with 2025's inevitable Pompeii clone)(sent by Denmark, bank on it), because (1) AOTR was well-staged with respect for its introspective narrative, which is rare for GERMANY (2) Germany needed some sort of pick-me-up after the Ryk fanboys terrorized everyone for not getting their way (3) the surprise left-side result FINALLY PROVES THAT SANDBAGGING RYK WAS THE CORRECT CHOICE, EAT A MOULDY DYK!!! It's MY meta now, and Bubblevision has no time for your shitty also-ran fanfaves...x

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 24 GOOD(ish) ENTRIES OF 2024

The efforts to improve the year despite the ongoing shitstorm have been noted and appreciated. ^_^

THE RANKING

i just listened to all 37 entries and

the azerbaijan entry "Özünlə Apar" was my favorite, followed by the austria one "We Wanna Rave"

i don't think the actual winner "The Code" was even close to my top 12

i probably can't say which song i thought was the worst without getting a lot of angry notes on this post and extending my block list

Azerbaijan🇦🇿

Let us take you with us to enjoy the 'Özünlə Apar’ by FAHREE feat. Ilkin Dovlatov!🌄🤲

FAHREE and Ilkin are new faces for Eurovision fan base but their talent is unquestionable. Both artists were shortlisted in the internal selection with their separate songs ending up with FAHREE winning his golden ticket to the main event. It was later announced that Ilkin would join him on his journey to Malmö with the final track releasing a couple of days later.

‘Özünlə Apar’ is in English and Azerbaijani which makes it the first Azerbaijani entry in Azeri since the country joined Eurovision back in 2008. It has the traditional elements in both melody and vocals provided by Ilkin.

A new character that i had made for art fight this year, I'm using a more humanoid design of the Fau'ri for him