welcome back loves to another theory with me!!! so it really has been a while since I have done any theory, mainly because homegirl is stuck in uni and is dying in it with useless group mates but anyway, i finally got back to doing another ever since I watched the MMA and MAMA 2019 ones and wow, there is so much to unpack.Â
also, a huge congratulations to our 4-Daesang winners aka BTS who not only swept all of the Daesangs in MAMA but MMA in 2019. honestly, still shocking considering how we all know how the industry is like lmao. but anyway, letâs begin.
if you want to support my ko-fi, feel free to do so
â theory masterlistÂ
theory:Â if I were to compare their MMA and MAMA VCRs, I believe thereâs more to analyse for the MAMA ones because of the length and also because MMAâs one, I believe the hints are more centred around the individual performances and set ups.Â
So starting off with MMA, looking at the VCR. I am putting it out there is literally I Need U all over again. The camera pans out to Namjoon, Seokjin, Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung and lastly Jungkook. For some reason, this has me thinking of the HYYH the Notes pairings that I keep mentioning throughout the theories about them. (read here) These were similar to that of Wings, but I guess Namjoon and Seokjinâs pairing was the one of the BST JP and instead of Taehyung being that Omelas boy, though some may say itâs Jungkook (because of how he is the youngest and he is affected by all and in this theory, Taehyung is the trigger), maybe could explain why the camera pans out to Jungkook last.Â
do you not think that the setting reminds me of of HYYH? the whole light, couches thing etcÂ
But moving on, if you see at 0:49, you see the shadows of the boys walking behind them at the back but somehow settling behind each respective member which I find extremely creepy and somehow reinforces that the next instalment is Shadow but at 1:05 it shows the lighter.Â
One could recall it being one of Yoongiâs key charcateristics as he smokes and across the HYYH the Reel, or in the I Need U MV, but at the same time, common with Jungkookâs Little Matchstick Girl story and of course not to forget, just like here In the VCR, how Namjoon worked at the gas station and somehow dropped the lollipop on a cash but it caught fire etc which somehow related to his death in one of the theories.
We had Namjoonâs strong Persona intro and you could see at the back, the words âshadowâ, âegoâ, âwhat am I to youâ etc, scribbled behind though repeatedly. The words âshadowâ and âegoâ should be signifying the next two releases for bangtanâs map of the soul trilogy series based on jungâs map of the soul book which focused heavily on persona, shadow and ego along with many other theorists who believed that the other two instalments of the series to be called âshadowâ and âegoâ. Other identified scribbles include âIm Not Whatâ âHappen to Meâ, âNo More Dreamâ, âWho are you, Who Am Iâ, âDream, Love, Happinessâ etc. But anyway, after the Persona stage, the intro of âWhat am I to youâ is played and I swear it was Dark and Wild all over again before it went on to âBoy in Luvâ and parallelly, they moved on to âBoy With Luvâ such a stark contrast but shows their diversity. Afterwards, a short VCR with the truth untold instrumentals playing in the background before somehow they decided to crush my heart and played mikrokosmos and hearing Namjoonâs words is making me feel things.
Anyway, moving on, after that stage ended, the VCR played again with how Jungkook woke up and this idea of trying to figure out who he is, as he watches various screens of himself across the years with eg Save Me, No More Dream , fake love playing, danger, the lines âIâm still looking for who I used to be, who I am now., before Namjoon hugs him (note the Wings pairing) before the rest comes together in this formation. Yoongi, Jimin, Namjoon, Jungkook, Jin, Hoseok and Taehyung; Taehyung was the last one.Â
similar to thisÂ
this reminds me of this open room in fake love as well for Seokjin.
Then somehow in the midst of this, they show how the boys âappearingâ, Jungkook forming from the clouds, Namjoon from the leaves, Jimin from smoke, Hoseok from the âfake love coloured setupâ, Taehyung from âthe spray canâ (he even had the sound effect of the spray can, Yoongi from fire and Jin from what seems to be in a room full of mirrors..? it seems oddly familiar but I canât pinpoint as to where this is from. And yet after all this, as they all gaze into the screens, somehow only Taehyung is the one looking unsettled, at most a really really small smile, not sure if it was on purpose or just coincidental,Â
Jungkookâs ment cntinues âwho I will be in the futureâ. At 18L47, it focused on Jungkokâs eyes to expand and show the milky way galaxy. Â Then it moved on to the start of the Dionysus stage but somehow we are surprised to find 7 individual stages.
But moving on, apart form bangtanâs group stages, there is a need to pay close attention to the individual stages of each member. i bet bangtanâs main goal for these year end shows is to somehow showcase their humble beginnings with their underrated songs hence why they performed n.o., we are bulletproof pt.2 and boy in luv at both year end shows across, asides from promoting their later songs such as mikrokosmos, or boy with luv.
Notice the transitions among each individual stages. Itâs literally their whole discography, more focus was on here rather than showing a vcr ,though the vcr they played was of the I need u feels and you cannot tell me otherwise once I placed the references here. One for their similar outfits and the I need u sofa cut scene in the MV with this MMA VCR. Not to mention it kind of reminds me of the HYH Epilogue VCR when they were taking a family portrait.
Anyway, the individual stages started off with Taehyung, with no more dream but the level of sophistication and performance was amazing but also quite heavy considering the no. of back dancers yet somehow theyâre in this gladiator outfit/warrior outfits with the skirts. Also, the 4 people hanging from the hoops at the top, it casually reminded of te Olympics but thatâs just my opinion and in no relation to this. Do take note of how altered the sound is to sound more like itâs fit for a battle scene, those loud hits of the drums etc and the resounding âla la laâ a sa battle cry or possibly an anthem. Note the scenes at the back to be mostly of the Greek/Roman kind of architecture.Â
Next, it transitioned to Seokjin whose song was Danger and interestingly, this kind of Greek/Roman concept continued on, as now they leveraged more on Seokjinâs looks for this stage with lesser dancing in comparison and made him stand on top of this makeshift Trojan horse. Take note of how the music for Danger instead of the hard hitting kind of song, it becomes a little bit more majestic, royal even but with power. Though Seokjin relatively dances way lesser, his stage presence and looks was enough to dominate the stage, like my god, just look at him??? Also, the back up dancers outfits seem to continue on with this. And when he really took the reins and let it whip to have this yellow horse run as though he whipped it, it ran across the screens (satisfying really), it changed to something more melodic.
Here, you hear the acoustic version of I Need U which was actually played before unlike the other 2 versions of the songs (and actually the rest of the membersâ as well), it was played at one of the year end show sin 2015 in which Yoongi actually played the piano and Jungkook was dancing, they were promoting Run at that time. But oh how this is so befitting for Jimin and his contemporary movies, itâs really so graceful, ethereal and wow. But they made this I Need U version more melodramatic with the use of strings such as violins and cello, listen to that rendition and melodies as well as the triangle I think (I literally forgot the name of that instrument) but then it moved on to Fire with Yoongi.Â
Honestly, I donât think anyone knew it was Fire until it started because of the really really hard hitting bass that really became outright rock and loud cries of âLa, La, Laâ and what sounded like âJinâ although I am pretty sure itâs not but you get my point here. Honestly, thought the fire in the screens looked like a dead giveaway but with how hard the beat is hitting that became rock, it almost sounded like a mantra not to mention how loud and how great the drums sound here. Also note how Yoongi isnât doing much, just minimal dance moves  like a body roll.
I must say the transition from Yoongi to Jungkook is quite abrupt because of the sharp contrast in the transition between their stages; from rock to something more pop? Itâs a bit hard to adjust to, also the version for Save Me is so so different but yet so nice, itâs much more synthesized here and the choreography is centred to how the beats are in the music. To think this was done by Jungkook as well.
At 25:54, we are seeing 7 lights to represent 7 stars, which apparently, this constellation represents Corona Borealis. It represents the crown the Princess wore on her wedding day when she married Dionysus. (see where we are going with this). You could see that throughout all of the stages, an additional light to represent a star was added after each performance and at the end with Namjoon, the Corona Borealis was completed.Â
Now, going back to Hoseokâs part with Fake Love but a much more EDM version to showcase his popping and then finally, we have this version of Dionysus, but look at that intro with the chorus singing and it showcases Namjoon. Although he is walking, it reminds me when he changed his jacket in 2017 for another year-end performance as he walked across the stage but now itâs for the staff. Literally, Namjoon is not doing anything but walking, but look at his stage presence?????Â
And this was how Dionysus began but again with the 7 constellations, they really brought the 2 tiger balloons that they used at the concerts with them here at the MMA, with the foreign women throwing flowers which coincidentally was a Greek tradition.
Yet again, before they start their performance, we have the same guy sounding the horn. But now we have guys in fedora hats which I am still confused as to why they are there. Well I did some research and turns out the use of fedora hats originated from a popular Russian play but the word originated from the Greeks themselves. Â
The name Fedora is derived from the Greek word theodoros, which literally means "gift of God."Â
-History of Fedora
I will like to sidetrack now to talk about the guy in the veil. so someone speculated on Twitter about the use of the veil in Greek culture and so this is how i went down to do my research etc and reading a paper on it. I have highlighted the necessary parts.Â
after reading this, one could say that the veil is a form of expression for anger. but mainly anger, then emotional pain and lastly grief. it can also be seen as âa form of retaliation, the victimâs way of punishing the offenderâs breach of the rules of interactionâ. you may consider seeing it as being petty, in a way of giving the silent treatment or just not giving oneâs full attention but again, this goes deeper than on surface value. kinda interested to see how this would pan out in the future.Â
However, enough of the hat and veil talk and its history, now going back to the performance. They even brought out the horses so honestly tell me what is going on. So doing more research, I dug out some. The reason why I am focused on the symbolism of these things inn Greece is due to the consistent Greek culture that is being cultivated, perhaps prior to the Dionysus one but it seems to be well incorporated in the various stages as well such as the Trojan horse  in Jinâs stage which was used to invade and win the war in Troy. But going back to the history of the horses, they symbolize wealth and status. The horse was often affiliated with heroes and Gods hence seeming to be far âimportantâ to the native Greeks. Not to mention the gladiators as well. Though gladiators were common with the Romans, the Greeks had them too but not as prevalent as the Romans. Interestingly, the Greeks refer them as âbarbariansâ.
For the Greeks, the gladiators were more of sacrifices to the Gods and those who emerged victorious during the Olympic games were blessed by Zeus and offered Zeus praise. In a way, if I were to put it in a different context, Zeus could be seen as a power play figure in terms of Big Brother (read 1984 theory here). Not entirely the same, but similarities are present.Â
What is the link of Dionysus in all of this? Well apart from the song of Dionysus by the boys, as well as inclusion of the iconic grapes for wine-making and thyrsus, I found something interesting that could explain the use of Dionysus in all of this.
As we all know, Dionysus was the god of wine, grape harvest and in some others fertility as well. He was known later on to be âandrogynous youthâ; not exactly a man but a âman-womanishâ. With his long history, âDionysus had crossed boundary between life and death, and he was often portrayed as the god who crossed the boundary between the civilized and uncivilized and the known and the unknown.â. Somehow this makes me think that perhaps Seokjin is Dionysus, the idea that he is the one conscious enough throughout the HYYH universe that time is rewinding itself back to the fateful day where one by one, the boys kill themselves and he is the one trying to save them all. Not to mention, I still think the theory still holds that somehow Seokjin could also be seen in purgatory where he tries to give them back their innocence through using the lilies (read I Need U JP theory here).Â
Interesting fact was that Dionysus was âborn of fire and nursed by rainâ. Opposites that link Yoongi and Jimin as well.
Based on here, apart from the fact that Dionysus was actually half mortal, he had the power to raise people from the dead, which was how he raised his mortal mother, Semele, from the dead.
Some others speculated about the whole Gods concept in which they claim BTS to represent of the 12 and basing it on their performance. This is what they came up with.
RM â Dionysus
Jin â Athena
Yoongi â Hephaestus
Jimin â Artemis
Taehyung â Apollo
Hoseok â Zeus
Jungkook â Poisedon
If we based it on this now, this could explain the certain dance breaks together here. Hoseok and Jungkook, Namjoon and Jin, Jimin and Taehyung then lastly Yoongi by himself. Yoongi is the only one being independent in a way. I guess also why they did the N.O. break was because they did not perform anything from that era (that + YNWA, BST, DNA and Answer) but then again, we are blessed by their whole discography.Â
so first of all, their VCR especially for MAMA was heavily reliant on time periods.
Basically, what was relayed in the video is as such.
The calling; future.
It started with the damn hourglass again, when will it stop??
They showed in the VCR these 7 white-veiled guys who I assumed would be them and is them but is also a carry over from the MMA scene in which during Taeâs stage and before Jinâs one, you see the white veiled guy next to the horses.
The VCR had very interesting transitions which reminded me of the Wings short stories with the various symbols, not to mention the fact it was heavily focused on Hoseokâs eyes which was similar to his short film of MAMA. The transition in and out of it. Past meets future. I will bet that this was Hoseokâs eye just by seeing the shape and also hereâs a reference from MAMA.Â
The VCR had very interesting transitions and glitches, literally throwback to the 2017 MAMA VCR. That barren one person scene reminded me of DNA.Â
DNA
MAMA VCR ScreenshotsÂ
The last picture reminds me a bit of BST, like the part where Yoongi plays the organ. Hereâs a reference photo.Â
More VCR screenshots just giving me the vibes of BST.Â
MAMA VCR Screenshots
BST MV screenshotsÂ
Then the VCR stopped and BTS performed N.O. a really throwback song followed by We are Bulletproof Pt. 2. Notice how the VCR changed to intro them performing N.O. the whole scratches reminds me of MAMA for some reason, MAMA being Hoseokâs short film. Honestly, I thought it was great because they showed everyone that this was their origins to their success and they never forgot about it despite being how big they are and how they got their popularity through other genres and not the original Hip-Hop kind that they were promoting back then. They had the iconic hands again.
After this, VCR continued to show the past meets the present. They showed the boys during backstage of the concert, during it and think about it as the way it was edited to be like Burn the Stage and Bring the Soul movies. Those kinds. They showed the Mnet debut showcase. âWe doubted ourselves all the time, we tried to overcome the fear we encountered. They showed their first win on the music show with âI Need Uâ. âDreams are our realities from now on.â Â This was said by Namjoon. Now showing all of the Daesangs that they achieved throughout the years starting with 2016 and how Yoongi cried. âWe are no longer sad or painâ.
Past meets present: World.
The Vcr showed the 7-veiled guys and this was their arrangement, Tae, Suga, Jin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok.
Do you not think this positioning of the veiled guys remind you of the fake love cloak stands. So from a clothes stand to a veiled person.Â
They then performed Boy with Luv and Mikrokosmos. During Mikrokosmos, they had stairs shown behind them before they pan out to the VCR again that started off with an hourglass. For some reason those veiled guys appear again and to be exact there are 7 of them. Not to mention the hourglass glitching giving me the BST JP. Vibes. When the phrase âall our timeâ came out, they really had some collisions much like DNA.
cue the fake love MV with the smeraldo flower.Â
Look at the stairs behind them. I went to check and do some research etc. Based on this, the ladder is most commonly known to be the connection between heaven and earth. Notice how itâs heaven and not hell. There is no mention of the underworld or hell. But if we were to look at this, I did some more research about the symbolism of stairs in Greek mythology.Â
A lot of the references is that the ladders/stairs are to be the connector between heaven and earth; there was no mention again of the underworld. But another closer research showed this.Â
In the temples that have them, it seems likely that one stair was intended for ascending, the other for descending.
Here it talks about well, itâs a one-way kind of stairs, itâs not one where you can use the stairs for both up and down but rather a separate one. Also, these stairs were commonly found in temples of Zeus, Apollo, Aphrodite, Athena, Hera etc which if referred on top, are some of the Gods that the boys were speculating to be.Â
Yet, looking inside the article, they talked about âepiphany windowsâ and my brain suddenly malfunctioned because epiphany windows????? E P I P H A N Y???
Epiphany provided an inherent sacredness and enhanced the-role of the temple in expressing sanctity.36 Even without actual "windows" forrestaging or framing events, epiphanies could be expected in and around temples.
An epiphany (from the ancient Greek áźĎΚĎΏνξΚι, epiphanea, "manifestation, striking appearance") is an experience of a sudden and striking realization.
Reference
so again i did more research, epiphany in Greece is like the âfestival of lightâ.Â
On Epiphany, the Greek Orthodox Church performsâ¨â¨ the âGreat Blessing of the Watersâ.⨠This ceremony is usually performed twice, once on the eve of Epiphany which is performed in the church, and then again on the actual day outdoors with priests blessing large bodies of water, sea, rivers, lakes etc.
This reminded me of Jungkook with his performance with the water. But anywa, about epiphanies, I might just do another theory for that sometime later.Â
Now moving on,Â
Future meets present: Calling
Past meets present: World
They reiterated these two concepts back again at the end of the VCR.
Present meets future: Eternal Journey
Eventually they were all of the veiled guys but particularly Jimin was the first one.
All our time.
The VCR then showed the boys with props/items.
Hoseok -> Frame
Yoongi -> Hourglass
Jimin -> Polaroid Camera (Retro)
Namjoon -> Mic
Jungkook -> Recording Camera (Retro)
Taehyung -> Violin
Jin -> Opera spectacles
Interestingly, these items as seen from this Twitter are considered to be retro, they still remain relevant despite them looking old. However, if you were to think of it in relation to the HYYH universe, Hoseokâs frame that he held reminds me of the MAMA portrait that was shown in the short film of his called MAMA but at the same time it reminds me the link between Hoseok and Jimin as they both stare at the same picture
Yoongiâs hourglass does not hit much of resemblance upfront but if you were to consider the meaning of the hourglass which is to tell time, specifically how much time left. You would think of the pairing between Yoongi and Jungkook; in a way Jungkook was running out of time to save Yoongi. In some alternate universe, Jungkook failed to save Yoongi hence the I Need  MV, and if you read based on the notes, the incidents between Yoongi and Jungkook do not happen all on the same day, but relatively near to each other. However in the Euphoria MV, it could be seen that Jungkook managed to save Yoongi, even in the webtoon series, Jin managed to save Yoongi as he found out what time was he going to die and which motel, but though Yoongi did not want to be alive.
Jiminâs retro polaroid camera, similar to Jungkookâs retro recording camera, they do not have much resemblance to the HYYH universe but rather their true personalities in which both Jimin and Jungkook engage in these kind of hobbies. Rather these things, coincidentally are more prominently found with Jin throughout the HYYH universe. In the HYYH Prologue and later on, Jin was the one known to have both a polaroid camera and a recording camera that he uses to capture the moments with the boys hence the idea of whether or not Seokjin was reliving the moments or not. (read Prologue theory here).
Before their last stage of Dionysus, the camera panned out and you see various animals as constellations eg goat, dolphin, lion, cheetah, goblet etc. Interestingly, if you look at here and here, it seemed as though Dionysus had the power to also transform into a lion or a bull and the latter shows that his symbols were leopard skin, panther and cheetah.Â
But the main one was the snake eg anaconda but the backup dancers were the ones in fedoras just like in MMA. thought that was an interesting edition.Â
anyway, throughout these 2 award shows, one could say they are riding on the whole Greek theology and concepts without ever culture appropriating it. i am sure they have been doing their own research and I canât wait to see what else is in store for them.Â
References
JOURNAL ARTICLEINTERIOR STAIRCASES IN WESTERN GREEK TEMPLESMargaret M. MilesMemoirs of the American Academy in RomeVol. 43/44 (1998/1999), pp. 1-26Published by: University of Michigan Press for the American Academy in RomeDOI: 10.2307/4238755https://www.jstor.org/stable/4238755Page Count: 26
JOURNAL ARTICLEAnger and the Veil in Ancient Greek CultureD. L. CairnsGreece & RomeVol. 48, No. 1 (Apr., 2001), pp. 18-32Published by: Cambridge University Press on behalf of The Classical Associationhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/826867Page Count: 15
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
overall: so bighit started dropping quite a fair bit of Smeraldo notes started posting out of nowehere on 7th Jan, on a Monday to say that there would be about 15 notes to be released. some dates overlapping with the previous ones that have been revealed in the album notes, highlight reels etc and notes released individually later on. sooner or later, the webtoon is also released on 15 Jan which is expected to end on April 11. the day when Seokjin keeps going back in time; or at least when he goes back in time, it just so happens to be April 11.Â
warning(s): mentions of death, mental illnesses, abuse, suicide, violence; please do read with care
do support my ko-fi if you can~
theory:Â generally, you would have realized that bighit is planning something to which they are dropping the Notes (The most beautiful moment in life pt.1) whereas the webtoon is pt.2, and knowing them, there would most likely be a pt.2. this is to which someone mentioned on Twitter that there could be a possibly that pt.2 would be movie and that bight was just testing the responses if bighit does release one for this story. notice how bighit released 2 movies, burn the stage and ly in seoul so you could say this was a marketing practice for them.Â
but anyway, bighit drops snippets of the notes for 15 consecutive days. i have no idea why 15, but moving on, it seemed like a lot was planned this year considering that the year 2013; the year that bangtan debuted, and this year 2019, is exactly identical, freaky but still.Â
to get yourself more familiarize with what I'm about to talk about, please do look at my masterlist here for the full translations, possibly highlight reel posters and watch the highlight reels.Â
someone on Twitter  ( user @/jmxyg ) also mentioned that she did some research to find out that these videos are the ones certified in the Bighit Universe. (BU)Â
I NEED UÂ
íěě°í on stage: prologueÂ
RUNÂ
Blood, Sweat and TearsÂ
Wings Short FilmsÂ
Highlight Reels 辡ćżč˝çľÂ
EuphoriaÂ
Fake LoveÂ
Epiphany
im going to go on a limb here and say that in all of these videos, it shows bangtan together, all except for Epiphany. Epiphany seems to the beginning or the end of which Seokjin tries to go back into time to help them.Â
but anyway, notice how critical intros didnt make the cut? such as serendipity and singularity, i do think that they are part of the BU but it wasn't of much significance, it shows more of their relationships with their partners or of their inner struggles and has nothing to do with the HYYH storyline at all; hence why it is being cut out.
Euphoria was kept because it kinda of showed a whole alternate universe that i mentioned before in Euphoria theory; do give that a read if keen. it showed sort of alternate endings in which it could be said as though Seokjin successfully went back in time but the pain has been transferred to someone else.Â
also notice how none of the earlier eras of bangtan before the most beautiful moment in life are part of it, such as no more dream, N.O. Skool luv affair or dark and wild, so in a way they are just of background information since it talks mostly about school rebellion; to which to some extent is being covered in HYYH: the Notes, but is not of that importance.Â
the only one that was important is the BTS Begins VCR with the storage classroom and of the quote inside. (read 1984 theory).Â
but also notice, how the the japanese music videos are not part of it, guess they are only focusing on the Korean timelines for now, but i do believe that the Japanese ones are of a different world etc.Â
so letâs start start on identifying the various dates that has been mentioned. This includes various years at various timings. If you read my previous theory here; I have outlined overlapping dates for certain members as well.
so I'm going to just go out here and start putting each and every single note that bighit posted.Â
So every time that smeraldo notes posted a note, they would acompany it with the relevant video in which I assume thatâs where the note came from.
1st Note:
Seokjin
2 May YEAR 22
âWould I be able to straighten out the errors and mistakes and save the others? I didnât grasp the depth and weight of this question.
Video posted is the one from Euphoria; where Seokjin opens the curtains.
2nd Note:
Yoongi
7 April YEAR 22
The car had just barely missed me. The remaining buzz of the alcohol made me giddy. Then I realized I couldnât hear the piano anymore.
Video posted is from First Love, wings short films. Yoongi just avoided the car from barely hitting and crashing into him.Â
this could also be seen from the HYYH: the Notes, O version.Â
YoongiÂ
7 April YEAR 22
I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.
I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the carâs passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?
The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound. Â
The next moment, I was running. It wasnât of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important.Â
The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didnât want to be concerned with anyoneâs life. I didnât want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didnât want to mean anything to someone. I couldnât protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didnât want to give pain. I didnât want to receive pain. Â
I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. âHyungâ. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.
it looks like during this day, Jungkook met drunk YoongiÂ
3rdNote:
Namjoon
11 April YEAR 22
Seokjin just stood there on the edge of my sight. He didnât come closer or start talking.
The video posted on twitter is of a separate video but actually it came from the BST JP. MV; interesting that remember how I mentioned that someone tweeted that there are videos being compiled as part of the BU, yet none of the Japanese ones were inside.
To make up for this and to ensure the smooth storyline, they made, trademarked and posted a separate video to go with these notes.
This scene would be familiar to those who read the webtoon âSave Meâ; in which Seokjin does appear at the gas station; yet the only difference is whether Seokjin spoke to Namjoon as it lead to a whole ripple of effects.
4th Note:
Jungkook
11 April YEAR 22
My phone rang, I came back to myself as if awakened from a long dream. I took out my phone. It was Yoongi.
The video posted was that of Euphoria; the scene in which Jungkook is at the roof of the building and if correct; it was said he would jump off the building and die.
Same thing happened in the webtoon; yet the only difference is whether he jumped off and crashed onto Seokjinâs car or not.
5th Note:
Hoseok
23 July YEAR 10
Mom handed me a chocolate bar. âHoseok, close your eyes tight and donât open them until you count to ten.â
The video posted was the one from the highlight reel; where he was seen at an amusement park to which his mother abandoned him. Do read my fake love theory on this to understand it clearly.
This is where Hoseok faces his fear of abandonment; through which he relishes through the snickers candy bar and tried to trade it at the magic shop. (read Fake Love Teaser 1 Theory).
moreover, there is some relation in terms of HYYH: the Notes, L version.Â
HoseokÂ
31 May YEAR 22
I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasnât a thought or a perception, it couldnât be described or explained. I couldnât look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadnât felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, âWhere are you going, Hoseok-ah?â The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, âHoseok-ahâ. A voice that I couldnât recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.
so here, at YEAR 10, Hoseok was 9 years old, that means in YEAR 22, he would be 21, and assuming their real life age holds, their ages goes like this.Â
this would make a lot of sense because in the webtoon, it could be seen that Jungkook is still going to high school and following the Korean education system, when they are 18, it is their last year of high school; meaning Jungkook met the boys possibly during the 1st or 2nd year of high school. this is why he probably grew attached to them; especially during the times in the storage classroom.Â
6th note:
Jimin
28 September YEAR 20
I lied for the first time today. I looked into the doctorâs eyes and pretended to be depressed. âI canât remember anything.â
The video posted with this is the one of Jimin in his Lie short film. He is seen to be in an isolated room with a Bob Ross painting and he stares into the camera and gives this nonchalant look.
Until now, many have speculated why would there be a need for Jimin to lie considering he already has some kind of illness that caused him to move schools quite frequently when he was young etc. Also, the scene in Euphoria in which as though he seemed to be alone yet sometimes the boys are there probably visiting him etc.
Some armys on twitter have speculated saying that the reason why Jimin lied was to stay in the hospital even longer so that he could be with Hoseok. As mentioned before, Hoseok has some kind of disease and turns out later through these notes, it is revealed he has more than one illness.
the full one could be seen here from the HYYH: the Notes, O version.
Jimin
28 September YEAR 20
I stopped counting the days since I was hospitalized. Counting is something you would do when you want to get out or there is hope of getting out. The trees and leaves were far outside the window and based on the clothes of people, I think that not much time has passed. At most, a month tops. Sometimes I see myself wearing the uniform though it was nothing special. Â Maybe it was because of the medicine, everything looked boring and dull. But today was a special day. The kind of day you write in a diary. However, I didnât have one and I didnât want the problems that come with writing in one. Today was the first time I lied. I looked at the doctorâs eyes and pretended to be gloomy. âI donât remember anything.â
7thnote:
Yoongi
2 May YEAR 22
The sheet caught fire and instantly flared up. My last sight of this world was this dirty, isolated room, the red-hot flames and rolling heat, and Jungkookâs twisted face.
See here, the video posted was the one from I Need U, in which he set the whole room on fire. But if what im assuming is correct and if what the notes say itâs true, thereâs a possibility that Euphoriaâs scenes in which Jungkook tried to save Yoongi; the one where Seokjin sees across the window when he opened up the curtain.
Or, thereâs another possibility in which what the notes say is of Yoongiâs imagination; in a way he just imagined Jungkookâs twisted face appearing right in front of him and that is assuming he is going to die etc; since mentioned in the Magic Shop book that at times of death; faces of those beloved would appear to them; and if this happens means that Yoongi did die in the end; nobody saved him.Â
The part of Jungkookâs twisted face makes me realise that Yoongi must have betrayed him or something to the extent that Jungkook gave a twisted face. Please know that Jungkook and Yoongi are of the original pairing as well from the very beginning.
8th note:
Hoseok
10 May YEAR 22
My narcolepsy occurred anytime, anywhere. I always ended up having dreams about Mom when I blacked out. The dreams were all alike. I was heading somewhere with Mom on a bus.
The video posted with this was when Hoseok blacked out along the expressway in I Need U; see many thought he overdosed on pills but little did we know that he was taking those pills as medication but he also had narcolepsy which caused him to faint and black out often.
narcolepsy =Â a condition characterized by an extreme tendency to fall asleep whenever in relaxing surroundings.
Reference
so, taking this into account along with Hoseokâs Munchausenâs disease which was already revealed in Mama.Â
Munchausen syndrome is a factitious disorder, a mental disorder in which a person repeatedly and deliberately acts as if he or she has a physical or mental illness when he or she is not really sick. Munchausen syndrome is considered a mental illness because it is associated with severe emotional difficulties.
Reference
now im thinking, thereâs a possibility Hoseok has this in order to stay with Jimin in the hospital but his prime illness is the narcolepsy in which he blacks out and falls asleep.Â
9th Note:Â
TaehyungÂ
20 May YEAR 22Â
I wanted to kill myself instead of Dad. If i could, i wanted to drop dead right then and there.Â
the accompanying video is that of Taehyung and Hoseok in the room with my guess, Taehyungâs younger sister, to which he was covered in blood. this came from Euphoria, and if this occurred, it meant that Seokjin was able to save Taehyung from killing his own father, and that the HYYH timeline has changed as mentioned in my Euphoria theory.Â
see, this is a different parallel to what the webtoon posted; in which originally Namjoon was jailed because Seokjin didnt interact with him as such, hence why he was unable to pick up the phone call from Taehyung when he stabbed his father. This is why he was arrested; I'm assuming for the murder and not for graffiti.Â
but now instead of Taehyung being arrested, he is saved in a way, that he won't be going to jail and that upon interacting with Namjoon, he is not in jail right now; sort of saving him as well.Â
10th Note:Â
Jimin
15 May YEAR 22Â
âRun, Jimin.â We all started running. I was caught up in the excitement and ran with them. The snacks and plastic soda bottles flew in the air.Â
the video posted together is the scene of the boys in Euphoria in the cafeteria. see, here, I'm assuming the boys do visit Jimin in the hospital yet whether or not they knew of his condition, that I am unsure of.Â
however, in HYYH: the Notes, it seemed as though Yoongi knew of his illness aside from Hoseok.Â
yet, there is a possibility since because of Jiminâs illness is still roughly unknown, he might be hallucinating about these memories, itâs a possibility.Â
11th Note:Â
JungkookÂ
22 May YEAR 22
At some point, we were all running along the coastal road. I was out of breath, sweaty, and had a splitting headache. But I didnât stop because they continued on.Â
the video posted showed the scene of Jungkook walking along and running along to which the rest of the boys followed. I felt as though you could feel the real brotherhood here.Â
12th Note:Â
TaehyungÂ
22 May YEAR 22
It was like the last scene in my dream. The only difference was that Seokjin was up there instead of me.
the video posted was that in the Euphoria; in which Taehyung and Seokjin switched places. instead of Taehyung committing suicide, Seokjin did.Â
interesting that the events sort of changed here, i mean although we know they are from different videos, bighit has decided to string something else instead now, from Jungkook in INU running along to how Seokjin would sacrifice himself on the same day; this is not the same timeline but i guess bighit is forcing it to be since now they allocated years.Â
yet, in the original HYYH: the Notes, this happened,
Taehyung
22 May YEAR 22
I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldnât eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldnât be able to see me when he passed by. âHeâs only one year younger than me. No, I donât really care. Anyway, Iâm not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.â
Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldnât contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my fatherâs blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.
it seemed as though Taehyung was in trouble and most likely Namjoon or Seokjin is on the phone with someone and they're trying to prevent Taehyung from going into jail but the fact that he needs to own up to his mistakes etc.Â
possibly, this might be where everything spiraled down and not just on April 11. yet if you look at the Smeraldo notes that was being posted recently, it follows the one of Euphoria, so as to which one is correct or if itâs in sequence, nobody knows.Â
it is possibly if these events happened one after another.Â
Yoongi
8 June Year 22
I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word âDreamâ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didnât fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasnât in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt. Â
I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had âDreamâ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.
here, it seemed as though Yoongi goes under rehabilitation, mostly the juvenile one since he is still in his early 20s but for what, no one knows.Â
13th Note:
NamjoonÂ
13 July YEAR 22
Several days ago, Iâd been here and seen some graffiti. Iâd automatically looked around, but Taehyung had been nowhere in sight. I stared at the graffiti painted all over the wall for a while.Â
the video posted was the one from highlight reels, in which Namjoon got off a bus stop to find the Save Me, Iâm Fine graffiti on.Â
i am not sure whether this is the same bus stop that keeps on appearing in Namjoonâs HYYH: the Notes but itâs worth a shot.Â
14th Note:Â
SeokjinÂ
30 August YEAR 22
The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. She was lying in the middle of the road. Dark red blood flowed down the road.Â
the video posted was the one from the highlight reel. sad to say that she was hit by a car as she rushed to meet Seokjin on the other side of the road. in all honesty, I still have no idea who these girls are being part of the highlight reel because originally they are not part of the story which was focused on brotherhood but i guess when they expanded to do other eras, they had to include it somehow in the story.Â
yet interesting, based on the HYYH: the Notes, L version, this occurred roughly 2 weeks before.Â
Seokjin
15 August YEAR 22Â
After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didnât seem to be opened yet. It wasnât that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards. Â Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flowerâs existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasnât looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isnât officially open but he could deliver it to me. âWhy do you need this flower?â I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person.Â
this was where if you checked the Smeraldo blog post number 8 here, the florist mentioned how someone was looking to order a bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers, to which in this case I'm assuming Seokjin wanted to get to give to the girl yet when he wanted to, as based on the highlight reel, she ended up being hit by a car/vehicle.Â
15th Note:Â
Jungkook
22 May YEAR 22
I didnt tell anyone, but I felt on that long-ago day that I had finally found a real family. Real brothers.
the video posted was the one from Euphoria, instead of Jungkook in the INU clothes, they are in pure white, but are at the same place. true family; truebrothers.Â
this line is where it hits home.
but anyway, time to organize the dates now, so there a lot of overlapping dates but all occurring in YEAR 22; the year in which I believe Seokjin begins to travel back in time to save the boys.Â
if you see based on the 15th note, it is pretty clear that all the boys are still there and alive but whether or not they are happy is another question.Â
basically, the 5th and 6th note, is just background information on the boys but the more important ones are all happening in YEAR 22.
so it starts off with how Yoongi was almost killed in an accident, most likely because he was drunk and on the road on 7 April.Â
Yet, on 11 April, the day to which Seokjin keeps going back in time, Seokjin tries to save Namjoon and does so by interacting with him at the gas station. not like the first time in which Seokjin didnt even bother to make conversation or small talk with him.
On the same day, Jungkook attempted to commit suicide by being on top of the building but was saved by Yoongi calling him on the phone.Â
now, looking at Hoseokâs notes.Â
2 March YEAR 22
I liked being among people. When I left the orphanage, I worked part time at a fast food restaurant, having a knack of making others smile while I work. I liked that kind of work. Actually, in my life, there were very few reasons for me to laugh or to be cheerful. Itâs clear that Iâve seen more bad people than the good ones. Maybe thatâs the reason why I liked the job. If I smiled brightly, spoke loudly and reacted cheerfully, I could pretend, even to myself, that I felt that way, even if it was deliberately done by me. My mood improved when I laughed loudly, and when I treated people kindly, I became a kind person. Yet, there were hard days as well. After cleaning the store and going back home, even taking a step was difficult. There days filled with fussy customers too. But even so, it was easier to hold it in because of my friends back then, as compared to now.
Sometimes I thought of my friends when I look at the store packed with customers. Seokjin Hyung who transferred schools without saying anything, Namjoon, who disappeared one morning, Yoongi Hyung who was expelled and wonât pick up my calls, Taehyung, who knows, where or what kind of accident is he possibly in now, and Jimin, who never returned to school and the last time I saw him was at the emergency room. I had seen Jungkook wearing the school uniform a few times through the window, but he never visited the store. I wondered if all those times have passed by now.
Hearing the sound of a customer, I gave a loud greeting. I looked towards the door with a bright and healthy smile.
it seemed as though Hoseok reminiscence them a lot, wondering how they are but he is skilled at hiding his emotions, taking on a job to hide away his worries by being around people and hiding from his past.Â
looking at Taehyungâs notes now,Â
29 March YEAR 22
The gas station owner spat on the ground as he left. I laid down on the ground in the same position that I had crouched in. I was drawing at the back of the wall of the gas station, only to be caught by the owner, who beat me and angrily asked what I was doing, drawing on somebody elseâs wall. I rolled around the floor. Getting hit was something that I was familiar and at the same time, unfamiliar with.
I started graffiti not too long ago. I took a spray can that someone threw away and started drawing on the wall. It was yellow colour. I sprayed it whatever I wanted and then looked up at it. I looked at the distinct yellow colour paint on the grey paint, then picked up another spray can. For a long time, I sprayed unknowingly on the wall. Only when the spray cans were all empty did my hands stop. I threw the can away and stepped back. My breath came as though I had been running with all my might.
I didnât know what the colours on the wall meant. I didnât know what I had done or why had I done it. But I had done it. I would assume that what I expressed were my feelings. I spewed out my heart onto the wall. Initially, I thought it was ugly. I thought it was something dirty. Something idiotic, useless and pitiful. I didnât like it. I rubbed some of the wet paint with my hand. I wanted to erase it all. Yet, instead of erasing it, I ended up mixing and blending the colours and moulded different shapes. I sat against the wall. It wasnât a matter of whether or not I liked it. It wasnât a matter of whether it was beautiful or not. It was just me.
When I stood up, I coughed. I spat blood onto my hand. Then I saw someoneâs hand picking up the spray can. I followed the hand up until I saw a face. I saw Namjoon Hyungâs face. I laughed. I thought I was seeing a ghost. Hyung reached out a hand. I simply looked up at him. Hyung took my hand and pulled me up. His hand was warm.
Taehyung is seen to be caught to vandalize the walls at the gas station and fortunately for him, Namjoon was there, as always.Â
on 7 April however, Jungkook bumps into Yoongi who is still haunted by the piano.Â
7 April YEAR 22
I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.
I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the carâs passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?
The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound. Â
The next moment, I was running. It wasnât of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important.Â
The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didnât want to be concerned with anyoneâs life. I didnât want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didnât want to mean anything to someone. I couldnât protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didnât want to give pain. I didnât want to receive pain. Â
I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. âHyungâ. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.
it seems like this the part in the first love short film, where a car almost crashed into him, instead of the music store having a broken window, Yoongi broke it instead.Â
it seems like here, alternatively Jungkook was the one who broke the window first.Â
however, there seems to be something happening between Namjoon and Taehyung on this day, based on HYYH: the Notes, V Version
Namjoon
11 April YEAR 22
I was looking for a t-shirt for a while until Taehyung reached for a t-shirt behind me. It was a shirt that had the same printed letters as the one that I was wearing right now. With an awkward laugh, he removed the ripped shirt. In the faint illumination of the lights that hung from the trailer ceiling, I momentarily caught a glimpse of his bruised back. Hoseok looked at me with a shocked expression. Taehyung put on my shirt and looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Then he laughed.
âThis punk. He arrived late after getting caught by the police for doing graffiti.â I pretended to hit Taehyung and he pretended to be sorry. Yoongi Hyung who had been sitting at the corner of the trailer, slowly approached Taehyung and smacked his shoulder.
so that means Namjoon, Taehyung and Yoongi saw each other on this day; yet no one had the whereabouts of Jungkook.Â
yet later on at night, Namjoon bumps into Seokjin.Â
11 April YEAR 22
I finished with the gas and went in. But something brushed against my face and fell. Surprised, I took a step backwards to look at it. At the bottom of my feet was a crumpled bill. Out of reflex, I bent down to pick it up. The people in the car burst into laughter. I stopped for a moment. Seokjin Hyung was watching me from a distance. I couldnât lift my head up. What do you do if you make eye contact with people who ride in expensive cars but put down and ridicule others? You have to face them. If you think what theyâre doing is unjust, you have to face them. Itâs not a matter of bravery, or pride or equality but it is something that needs to be done.
However, this was a gas station and Iâm a part time-worker. If a customer threw trash, I had to clean it up. And if they cursed, I had to listen. And if they threw a bill on the floor, I had to pick it up. My body shook with humiliation. I clenched my fists. My fingernails dug into my skin.
At that moment, someoneâs hand picked up the bill. The people in the car muttered and left as if the fun in it was gone. Even after they left, I couldnât lift my head up. I lacked the confidence to look into Seokjin Hyungâs eyes. It wasnât as though Hyung didnât know about my cowardliness, my poverty and my circumstances. I didnât want to show him this explicitly. Hyung stood at the end of my gaze and didnât move. Neither did he approach me or did he speak.
this is just like the webtoon itself. the day that Seokjin visited Namjoon in the detention centre was on May 22, but the reason why he was there was the fight between him and a rude customer on April 11 which Seokjin eventually prevented.Â
yet on this day when Namjoon is in jail, it meant that Taehyung actually killed his father and he was being arrested. so instead of Taehyung dying, he killed his own father.Â
this was in line with Yoongiâs Note from the S version.Â
11 April YEAR 22
I kept on walking, though I had a sense that Jungkook was following from a distance. As the train tracks stretched out, containers continued to appear. Itâs the 4thcontainer from the back. Hoseok said he had plans to meet with Namjoon and Taehyung, and told me to come too. I told him I would come, but I didnât really intend to go. I hated getting involved with others and Hoseok knew that. He probably didnât have any thoughts of me turning up.
When I opened the door, I could see Hoseokâs surprised face. Then he discovered Jungkook and approached him with mixed emotions. I passed by both of them and headed to the container. âHow long has it been?â I could hear the sounds of Hoseok trying to pull Jungkook and Jungkook being embarrassed.
I could hear Namjoon bringing Taehyung in. Taehyungâs shirt was torn on one side. When we asked what happened, Namjoon pretended to rap his knuckles against Taehyung. âThis brat was late because he was arrested by the police for doing graffiti and I had to go pick him up.â Taehyung made an exaggerated apologetic face and talked animatedly how his shirt was torn when he ran away from the police.
I sat in the corner and watched them. Namjoon gave Taehyung a shirt to change into, Hoseok pulled out hamburgers and drinks. Jungkook being in the middle but was unsure of what to do or where to go. Looking back in high school, this was how it was. In the hideout classroom, Namjoon would give Taehyung a talk, Hoseok would move around noisily while Jungkook would hover, not knowing where to go.
How long has it been since we have gathered. I donât remember it well. How are Seokjin Hyung and Jimin? A thought unlike of mine came to me. This was a place I had come for the first time, but my heart is already at ease.
the idea of brotherhood being family is being re-established here, knowing that despite your whereabouts, as long as youâre with your family, itâs home and puts you at ease no matter what.Â
yet at the same time, the whole scene of Jungkook being at the top relates back here, turns out Jungkook was trying to kill himself after being beaten up by some people he bumped into.
the beginning introduced at the Her Notes,Â
11 April YEAR 22
In the end, it turned out just like I wanted. I deliberately ran into the thugs on the street and got beaten up till I was satisfied. I laughed while I was getting beaten up, and they called me a crazy maniac. I leaned against the shutter door and looked at the sky. It was already night. There was nothing in the pitch-black sky. I could only see a clump of grass in the distance. It was on the side of the wind. It was just like me. I felt like I was going to cry so I forced myself to laugh instead.
I closed my eyes and saw my stepfather clear his throat. My stepbrother kicked me and laughed. My stepbrotherâs relatives looked elsewhere or began to talk useless things. It was as if I wasnât there, like my existence didnât matter. In front of them, my mother was at a loss. I tried to stand up but instead dust rose and I coughed. It hurt as if I had been stabbed at my solar plexus. I went up to the roof of the construction site. The night city stretched out in a terrible colour. I climbed up on the railing with both of my arms stretched out. I had one leg out and I almost lost my balance. I thought I could die with just one step. If I died, it will all end. No one would be sad without me.
Answer Notes:Â
11 April YEAR 22
I walked on the top of the railing of the roof top. The building had been abandoned while it was in the middle of its construction. When I stretched out one foot in the air, the darkness engulfed beneath me. The night city spread out hazily below the railings. Neon lights, honking horns and smoking dust swirled in the darkness. For a moment, I felt dizzy. I stretched out my arms to regain my balance. Then I thought. It was only one step. If I took one step, everything would end. I leaned my body more towards the darkness. The darkness that started at the bottom of my feet now came up to devour my body whole. When I closed my eyes, the dizzy city, sounds and fear all disappeared. I stopped breathing. Then, I leaned my body towards the darkness even more. I didnât have any thoughts. No one came to my mind. I didnât want to leave anything behind. I wouldnât remember anything. This was just the end.
At this moment, my phone rang. My senses came back to me as though I woke up from a distant dream. My dulled senses returned immediately. I pulled out my phone. It was Yoongi Hyung.
He wanted everything to end but somehow Yoongi sopped him, just like how Jungkook stopped Yoongi on 2 May.Â
but in the webtoon, turns out Seokjin stopped him.Â
moreover, it seemed as though in the beginning of the day, there is some relationship with Seokjin as well, based on the HYYH: the Notes, E version.
Seokjin
11 April YEAR 22
I came to the sea alone. The blue, broad sea was one that could be opened whenever in the viewfinder as it always had. It was all the same, the light that sparkled from the water, the wind from the pine forest. The only difference was that I was here alone. As soon as I pressed the shutter, the scenery in front of my eyes flickered, that moment, on that day, 2 years and 10 months before seemed to appear and disappear. That day when we were all sitting in front of the sea. Though we were tired and times were rough, we were together. Â I turned the car and stepped on the accelerator. I entered the tunnel and passed by a rest stop. When I reached vicinity of the school that we all attended, I opened the car window. It was a night in spring. The air was warm and the cherry blossoms fluttered in the trees that lined the walls of the school. I left and passed several intersections, made several left and right turns. In the distance, I could see the lights of the gas station where Namjoon works.
here is where Seokjin begins to unravel his mistakes by doing things slightly different as seen in the webtoon.Â
yet also, here, Seokjin wakes up and instead of going back to the 11 April, he wakes up toÂ
11 April YEAR 22
The moment I closed my eyes, it was the 4thApril yet again. I opened the curtain with the glaring sunlight entering the room. When I raised my body, I was overwhelmed and closed my eyes. My surroundings changed to one that was of a reddish image and I saw Taehyungâs appearance. He was standing alone at the top of the observation platform at the beach. That happened on 22 May. It was the past and the future, something that already happened in the past but could still happen in the future. It was at that moment I thought everything was resolved.
I saw Taehyung climbing up the ladder as the sun began to set. The sky was still blue but gradually it began to have a red colour seeping in. When I lifted my head, I saw Taehyung climbing the ladder. When he reached the top, he looked down at us for a moment. Afterwards, he jumped. Just like a bird, like he had wings. Then for one moment, it seemed as if he stopped in the air, just like that the mirror cracked, the wind blew the curtains open and my senses came back.
And just like that, I opened my eyes and it was the 4th April again.
based on the webtoon, Seokjin goes back to the 11 April but here in the Notes, itâs the 4 April, which one is exactly true then?Â
if you look here, in the notes from Tear,Â
11 April YEAR 22Â
With a screech, the car had barely came to a stop. I was so deep in thought that I didnât see the light changing. Students in familiar uniforms were crossing the street and looking at me through the window. Some people were pointing at me. I forced a smile and bowed my head. Â
I knew what I had to do. But I wasnât unafraid. It was more of could I put an end to all these misfortunes and pain? What is the point of repeating the same failure mean that I wont be able to achieve success? But is it telling me to give up? Is our happiness just a meaningless hope? Uncomfortable thoughts like these raced through my mind. Â
At some point, I approached the intersection with a gas station and I could see Namjoon filling up some cars. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out slowly. I could see all of their faces when I tried to recall them one by one â Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. I changed lanes and then entered the gas station. I didnât want to give up. Even if there was a 1% chance, I wouldnât give up. Through the window, I saw Namjoon approach.Â
this is when Seokjin knew he had to save them, somehow or rather, he aimed to save 5 of them, all excluding Namjoon from killing themselves etc. at most what happened if Seokjin didnt save Namjoon is that he would end up in jail.Â
so this deviates already from the INU timeline in which Namjoon dies at the gas station.
also, if you look at the webtoon, it means on June 12 they went to the beach together, this is before they separated.Â
looking at Namjoonâs notes from S version.Â
28 April YEAR 22
I knew that something was up with Taehyung for a long time. Even if he pretended occasionally that nothing was wrong, his momentarily actions, expressions or tone would give away his anxiety and the facy that he didnât know what to do. He was often in and out of the police station and I could see the wounds on his body. Â And also, he had nightmares.
The reason why I never really asked, or asked what was going on or telling him to let out everything was because I was waiting for him to do it. On one side, I also doubted if I should be the person to hear his worries. I wanted to be a Hyung to him, I pretended to be an adult, yet, when my friends are having a hard time, I couldnât protect them. They all looked up to me being an adult yet I am really not an adult. I only hesitated, unable to look directly at whatâs in front of me.
Yoongi Hyung died. Taehyung had that nightmare again. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, he woke up startled and spent a long time sitting and staring into space. He didnât wipe his tears and mumbled incoherently. He said Yoongi was dead and Jungkook had an accident and I had been caught in a fight. He said that he dream that kind of dream often, that it was so clear that it seemed as if it was real and even this was part of the dream. âHyung, donât go anywhere.â Taehyungâs voice wavered anxiously.
this would be in link when Jungkook also wakes up from a nightmare, something similar happened to him that he eventually broke out in a fever as mentioned in the notes.Â
on May 2, Yoongi is the one now trying to commit suicide by setting the room on fire but was saved by Jungkook.
on this day, Jungkook tells Namjoon that he wants to be like him but has a nightmare of Yoongi.Â
2 May YEAR 22Â
I turned my head and was in front of Namjoon Hyungâs container. I opened the door and went in. I gathered the strewn clothes, covered myself in them and bent down. The cold came down on me. My whole body was trembling, I wanted to cry. But no tears came. Â
I opened the door to see Yoongi Hyung standing on top of the bed. Flames were coming up from the sheet. Â At that moment, my whole body was engulfed in rage and fear that I couldnât hold back. I wasnât someone who could speak well. I was slow to express my feelings or to convince someone. Tears welled in my eyes and I coughed yet no words came out. As I ran into the flames, the only words I could spit out in that moment were âWe promised to go to the beach together.â Â
âWhy are you like this? Was it a nightmare?â Someone shook my shoulder and I opened my eyes. It was Namjoon Hyung. I didnât know why but I felt relieved. Hyung felt my forehead and said I had a fever. Really, that was the case. The inside of my mouth was burning yet I felt unbearably cold. I had a throbbing headache and my throat hurts. I barely managed to eat the medicine that Hyung brought for me. âSleep more. Weâll talk later.â I nodded my head. Then I said this. âCan I become an adult like Hyung?â Namjoon Hyung looked back.Â
on May 10, Hoseok fell on the expressway as such; but he didn't die.Â
on 12 May, Hoseok thought he saw his own mother in the hospital as he was being treated for collapsing on the expressway.Â
as seen here, and in the webtoon.
12 May YEAR 22
I opened the door of the emergency room and ran down the stairs. My heart was racing as if it was about to explode. The face that I had a glimpse of in the hospital hallway was of my motherâs. At the moment I looked back, the elevator doors opened and people pushed their way out. I pushed desperately among the people. And I saw my motherâs form going into the emergency room doors. Anxiously, I ran down two steps at a time. Without resting, I ran dome several flights.
âMom!â. My mother stopped. I took another step forward. She turned around. I went down another flight. Her became visible. It was at that moment that my heel of the foot slipped on the edge of the stair and my center of gravity was pushed forward. I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself that I was going to fall flat on my face. Someone grabbed my arm, and thanks to that person, I narrowly avoided the fall and regained my balance. When I looked back, I saw Jimin standing there with a shocked expression. Before I could even say thank you, I turned my head again.
A woman was there. She looked surprised. Next to her was a young boy, staring at me and blinking with his big eyes. She isnât my mother. I stood at the top of the stairs, blankly staring at the womanâs face.
I couldnât remember what I said to escape that situation. I also didnât ask how Jimin appeared there in the first place. My mind was too cluttered to be concerned about the small details. The woman wasnât my mother. I might even have known that from the start. It had been more than ten years since she had left me alone at the theme park. My mother would have been older by now, and different from what I remembered. Even if I met her, I wouldnât recognize her. No, by now, I could barely even remember her face.
I looked back. Jimin was following me in silence. Back in high school, after we parted ways in the emergency room, Jimin said he had to stay in the hospital. I thought of how he looked as if he didnât know what to do when asked if he wanted to get out of the hospital. Couldnât it be Jimin was trapped just like I was, unable to cling or break away from memories that bind us? I took a step towards him.
âJimin-ah, letâs get out of here.â
so this is how Jimin and Hoseok got out of the hospital and somehow reunited with the rest of the boys.Â
on May 15, it seemed that the boys visited Jimin in the hospital, probably because he was hospital bound and couldnt leave and so they stuck to playing in the hospitalâs cafeteria. but eventually as seen here, they all left the hospital.Â
15 May YEAR 22
When I opened my eyes, Hoseok Hyung was standing there. The familiar ceiling looked down at me with a familiar darkness. Startled, I tried to sipt up but he placed a finger on his lips. Everyone was sleep, my surroundings were quiet. Hyung immediately offered me a T-shirt, jerking his chin toward the exit of the hospital.
âWe all came togetherâ He mentioned that Namjoon Hyung was standing guard while Yoongi Hyung was buying time with the nurses. Jungkook and Taehyung would join us at the elevator in no time. At first, I couldnât understand what he was saying. Hyung reached out a hand to me, while I was still in a daze.
The day I left the hospital. I had dreamt of that day sometimes. I wanted to leave the hospital and meet my friends. To spend some time with them laughing and talking the way we used to before. But now I didnt know. Was it a good idea to leave? My parents actually hid me in this place and pretended that I was someone who didnât exist. People whispered I had a mental illness. I donât know if Hoseok Hyung thought the same. Maybe he thought I was strange, that spending time with me made him uncomfortable.
âCome on, we donât have time.â Maybe because of Hyungâs urging, the sound of the clockâs second hand sounded weirdly fast. Thump. Thump. The sound of footsteps, like an auditory hallucination, came closer and closer to the hospital room. Hyung and I turned simultaneously to look at the door, then looked at each other. Hyungâs hand was still in front of me.
this is how Jimin got out of the hospital despite being placed there by his own parents hence the story continues into 16 May.Â
the reason for Jimin being in the hospital was because of the incident that happened in the flower arboretum when he was young but of course the webtoon didnt specify the events that occurred but there was a pool of blood.Â
16 May is when Jimin visits Hoseokâs house which is very high.Â
Jimin
16 May YEAR 22
Hoseok Hyungâs house was actually quite high. A rooftop room of a deadlocked house at the end of a narrow, winding alley, some distance from a long street; that was Hyungâs house. When I entered the house, which was just one room, Hyung bragged that it was the top floor in the whole city; from which all the places that we have grown up from could be seen, laid down below our feet. Hyung said that there is so many things to see from this rooftop room. The nearby train station could be seen, and along the train tracks, the containers were also visible, Namjoon Hyung was living in one of those. If I look a little more, the school that we all attend would appear.
After finding the school, I lifted my head and looked at the other side of the city. At the foot of the mountain, there were some large apartment buildings. Right there, thatâs my house, no, thatâs my parentâs house. I didnât tell anyone that I ran away from the hospital. If I did, they would have called my parents. Right now, maybe, I donât know, they might be looking for me. I donât have the confidence to see them face-to-face. Though I came out of the hospital, there is no way that Iâm going home. Even as such, I have no desire to go back to the hospital. But I had nowhere to go and had no money. I stood hesitantly, before Hyung told me to follow him, leading the way, and how we arrived at this place â his house.
My eyes looked back to the apartment houses again. I didnât want to meet my parents or go back to the hospital even though eventually I had to. I took a deep breath in. It seemed like a thought alone could cause a seizure. Truthfully, I didnât trust myself enough to endure any other place other than the hospital. I could be rushed to the hospital again. I was so afraid, I couldnât stand it.
this is how the boys met up after a while, sort of being reunited by Seokjin, and looks like Yoongi knows Jiminâs discomfort about the flower arboretum.Â
19 May YEAR 22Â
In the end, we went to the flower arboretum. I lied that I donât remember what happened at that place but I had to quit lying. I had to stop hiding in the hospital and having seizures. If I wanted to do that, I had to go to that place. With that in mind, I went to the bus stop every day yet I couldnât ride the bus to go to the flower arboretum. Â
Yoongi hyung came and sat down next to me after 3 buses passed by. I asked him what he was up to, but he shrugged and said that he was bored and had nothing to do. Then he asked why was I sitting here. I lowered my head and kicked the dirt with my shoes. I asked myself why was I sitting here in the first place. I had no courage. Now I wanted to be fine, I wanted to pretend that I knew a bit, to surpass it on my own, yet in reality, I was afraid. I was scared that I might see something, I couldnât withstand against it, that I might have another seizure.Â
Yoongi hyung looked relaxed.Â
as mentioned this could be why the pairing of Jimin and Yoongi came about. ( read theory here )
now moving on to May 20, it seemed as though Taehyung had an outburst. this was from Hoseokâs notes in Tear album.Â
20 May YEAR 22Â
I took Taehyung and stood facing the police officer. âYouâve worked hard.â Though it was hard to say with my head hung low, it wasnât that feeling. The police station wasnât that far from Taehyungâs house. If he lived in the same far-off place, would Taehyung have not been in and out of the police station often. Why had Taehyungâs parents chose a place so near to the police station? Why was the world unfair to such a foolishly kind and good kid. I slung my arm around Taehyungâs shoulders and asked if he was hungry, acting as if nothing much happened. Taehyung shook his head. I asked if he was glad that the police bought him food yet he didnât answer. Â
We walked in the sunlight. In my heart, a cold wind blew. If I feel this way, how would he feel. How torn and broken in his heart? Did he even have any heart left at all? How much torment must be inside? Thinking of all these thoughts, I couldnât look at him and so I looked at the sky. In the blurry sunlight, an airplane flew past. The first time I had seen Taehyungâs wounds was when he was in Namjoonâs container hideout. I didnât say anything to Taehyung, who was laughing brightly for getting a t-shirt yet there was a thud in my heart. Â
I donât have any parents. I donât even have any memory of my father and only up till I was 7 years old did I have any memory of my mother. When it came to pain regarding families, nobody was jealous of me. People told me this. That you have to overcome the pain, accept it and grow accustomed to it. That you have to reconcile to forgive. Only when this is done, you are able to live. It wasnât that I couldnât do it because I didnât know. It wasnât a refusal since I hated it. Nothing was achieved since I didnât try. No one told me how to do it. The world gave me new wounds before my old wounds healed. I knew that there wasnât anyone in the world who didnât have wounds. But why did anyone need deep ones? Why were they needed? Why did things happen this way?Â
âHyung. Iâm fine, I can go by myself.â Taehyung said at the fork of the road. âI know, jerk,â I didnât pay attention and took the lead. âReally, Iâm fine. Look at me, itâs nothing.â Taehyung tried to smile. I didnât answer him. He wasnât fine. He wasnât okay but he couldnât stand acknowledging it. He was turning away. That was his habit. He flipped up his hood and followed. âAre you really not hungry?â I asked as we were nearing his house. Taehyung smiled his foolish smile and nodded. I watched his retreating back and turned away. The paths that we both walked were narrow and desolate. We were both alone. I suddenly turned to look behind me when my phone rang.Â
this reminds me of Euphoria in which Taehyung and Hoseok are in the room. this is probably after his outburst with his father.Â
further continuation of Taehyungâs notes are here.Â
20 May YEAR 22Â
I looked down at my hand. It was stained with blood. Suddenly, my legs had no strength. I started to collapse but someone grabbed me from behind. Murky sunlight was shining through the window. Noona was crying and Hoseok Hyung was standing there without saying anything. The dirty household goods and blanket remained as they were. There was no one there where my father stood. I couldnât recall how or when he had left the room. Â
The rage and sadness of when I attacked him was still in me. I didnât know what held me back from stabbing him. I didnât how to comfort my crazy heart. I didnât want to kill my father, I wanted to die. In that moment, I just wanted to die. I couldnât cry. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick and destroy and ruin things yet I didnât do any one of them.Â
âHyung. Iâm sorry. Iâm okay, so just go,â My voice came out unsteady with how my mad heart is beating. It didnât seem like my voice. I sent Hoseok Hyung away even though he didnât want to leave and stared down at my hands. Blood is seeping through the white bandage. Instead of stabbing my father, I fell to the floor with the alcohol bottle. The bottle had shattered and cut my hand. I closed my eyes, yet the world started spinning. What should I think and what should I do to live. When I came to my senses, I was looking down at Namjoon Hyungâs phone number. Even in this case, no, because I was in this situation, I valued his existence so much more. I wanted to talk to him. Hyung. I almost killed my father, the father who raised me, my father who beats me up everyday. No, actually, I killed him. I killed him so many times. In my heart, I killed him so many times. I wanted to die. I really wanted to kill him. I donât know what to do now, I donât know. Hyung. I just wanted to see you.Â
it seemed like here Taehyung didnt kill his dad, so it doesn't follow the I Need U timeline but rather the Euphoria one instead. hence why Hoseok and Taehyung are paired up as well, coincidence or not. ( read theory here )
now continuing on to May 22 when Taehyung was meant to jump, he had a fall out with Namjoon as seen from the notes in Her.Â
22 May YEAR 22
I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldnât eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldnât be able to see me when he passed by. âHeâs only one year younger than me. No, I donât really care. Anyway, Iâm not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.â
Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldnât contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my fatherâs blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.
Taehyung here felt betrayed but this could lead up to the next part as seen below.Â
the before events were seen in Namjoonâs ones from tear album.
22 May YEAR 22Â
âItâs barely a year age gap difference. No, who said it? I am the Hyung. I know. But he wonât forever be young. Iâm asking if it isnât it about time he knows something. I get it. No, I am not mad. Iâm sorry.â Â
I ended the call and looked down at the floor. A sad ocean breeze swept through the pine forest. My chest was stifled that it felt that it might explode. On the ground, half of it was sand and half of it was dirt, some ants formed a line and were heading elsewhere, To someone who was greater than me, both physically and symbolically, would it be clear of where I was going, why I was going and how it would turn out? Â
It wasnât that I didnât love my parents. It wasnât that I didnât worry for my younger sibling. I wanted to turn away if I could, but since I couldnât do anything but be myself, I wasnât able to. And so, whatâs the point in struggling or being angry, frustrated or wanting to leave? Â
I could see the back of someoneâs back, standing rooted to the ground just like me. It was Jungkook. At some point, Jungkook said this. âHyung, I want to be an adult like Hyung.â At that time, I couldnât say anything. I wasnât an adult that I was proud of, no, I am not an adult. Saying something like that was cruel. To someone who has yet to receive the trust, interest and affection that he naturally should have, how could I say that getting older, growing taller and living a little more doesnât make one an adult. I hoped Jungkookâs future would be more kinder than mine, but I couldnât promise that I could be of help to him along the way. I approached him and slung my arm around his shoulder. Jungkook lifted his eyes and looked at me.Â
Namjoonâs notes are always more abstract for some reason i have no idea why. hence why Jungkook and Namjoon are paired as well. ( read theory here )
on May 22 is when by right Taehyung jumps and looking to the events in the day it continues the one from the Euphoria, the whole time I suspected it to be Jungkook to be the one saying it to Seokjin but it seems like Taehyung is the one who was saying it as seen here. the reason why I suspected Jungkook saying it was due to his accident that Seokjin would eventually cause.Â
22 May YEAR 22
âHyung, is that everything? Are you hiding anything else from us?â Our surroundings suddenly grew quiet. Everyoneâs gaze turned towards me. I looked straight at Seokjin Hyung. Hyung, too, looked back at me. His gaze was full of exhaustion and shame, and a little bit of pitiful. The moment that I was about to bring up the issue, someone grabbed my arm. I didnât need to look. I knew it was Namjoon Hyung.
âHyung, what does it have to do with you? Weâre not even real brothers.â I could feel Namjoon Hyung looking at me. I didnât lift my head and shook his hand off. I knew it too. I was mad at Namjoon Hyung for no reason, repeating the same words that he used when he was on the phone. I said I was angry, that I was upset. Yet, Hyungâs words werenât wrong. I am barely a year younger than him. I wasnât his real brother. It was true that I should take care of myself. Regardless, I was upset. I was angrier because I had no words to use against him. I wished Hyung would have understood what I felt.
âTaehyung-ah, Iâm sorry. Letâs not talk about this now.â It was Seokjin Hyung who opened his mouth. Seokjin Hyung was the one who called my name, Namjoon Hyung didnât say anything. âWhat do you mean, stop? Since itâs already up, letâs talk about it. Hyung, there is still something youâre hiding from us.â
âLetâs go out to talk.â Namjoon Hyung said while he grabbed my arm. I tried to shake him off again but he tried to drag me out. I tried to hold out and spoke. âLet me go. What right to you have to stop me? Hyung, what do you know? You donât know anything but you think youâre a great guy, right?â It was then then he let go of my arm. When he let go made me stumble. No, it wasnât just him letting go that made e stumble. But at that time when he did, it was like as if everything that sustained me were cracking, breaking and crumbling down. Maybe I hoped he never let go of my arm. That instead, he would get angry and drag me out. Maybe I hoped that he would scold me like a real brother, as if to someone who was so close and precious that you canât ignore.
But Hyung let go of my arm. I just laughed. âWhatâs so special about being together? What are we to each other? In the end, weâre all alone.â That was the moment that Seokjin Hyung hit me.
now looking at the ending, this is where the whole outburst between Seokjin and Taehyung started and though the BST Jp isn't part of the timeline, I believe you should include it in to make sense as to why Seokjin even punched him in the face.Â
if only Taehyung knew that only by being together could Seokjin stop all of them from dying but I guess somethings are left to be untold, hence the truth untold maybe.Â
on May 31, Hoseok after dancing had a slight trauma etcÂ
Hoseok
31 May YEAR 22
I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasnât a thought or a perception, it couldnât be described or explained. I couldnât look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadnât felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, âWhere are you going, Hoseok-ah?â The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, âHoseok-ahâ. A voice that I couldnât recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.
here, it seemed as though Hoseok is out of the hospital but it follows that of the highlight reel in which he and the girl are practicing to which later on the other notes mentioned that how Jimin isn't in the hospital anymore but is out dancing and that he is jealous of Hoseok.Â
right now, I am just disregarding all those that happened before YEAR 22 because they all just give background information on each of the boys and as to why they behave and act as such, so please take this into caution.Â
time to look at the notes from Her album,Â
Yoongi
8 June YEAR 22
I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word âDreamâ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didnât fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasnât in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt. Â
I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had âDreamâ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.
I'm assuming this is the period that Yoongi goes into rehab for being an arsonist by setting himself on fire, or at least attempted to but somehow was saved by Seokjin.Â
based on the notes in Tear,Â
Yoongi
15 June YEAR 22Â
I wasnât aware of what is happening but just the sound of music playing in my head. No matter how much alcohol I drink, or where I am, what I am doing is more important. If you want to know, it isnât important. With faltering steps, I went out into the night. Just walking among the dust. Be it on the street, the street stall or the wall, I hit it. It didnât matter. I just wanted to forget everything. Â
Jiminâs voice was still ringing in my ears. âHyung. Itâs Jungkook.â The next thing I remembered was going up the stairs in the hospital as if I was mad. It was a dark and weird pathway towards the north of the hospital. People who were wearing patient gowns walked past. My heart was racing. Everyoneâs faces were pale. They had no facial expression. They all seemed as though they were dead. In my head, my breathing became more ragged. Â
I opened the door of the ward where Jungkook was lying down in slightly. I, myself, donât know why but I turned my head away with a jerk. I couldnât look at him. In that moment, I could hear the sounds of the piano, fire, the collapse of the building into pieces. I couldnât even stick it up for him. I then thought,âIt was because of me. If I wasnât there, this wouldnât have happened.â It was my motherâs voice, no, my voice, no, it was anybodyâs voice. I couldnât say anything during that painful time. I didnât want to believe it. But then, Jungkook was lying down there. He was lying down with patients who looked dead passing by. I just couldnât go inside. I couldnât even confirm it. When I stood, my legs wanted to give up. I left with tears streaming down my face. I forced myself to laugh. I couldnât even remember the last time I cried. Â
As I crossed the pedestrian crossing, someone grabbed my arm and I stopped. Who was it? No, it didnât matter. Whoever it was, it was all over. âDonât come to my side. Go. Please just throw me away. I also donât want to hurt you. I donât want to be hurt. And so, please donât come near me.â
here, Yoongi blames himself for the cause of Jungkookâs accident so it seems as though the accident with Seokjin was one on 11 April, but Jungkook got into another one later on in June, beyond what possibly Seokjin could control. so technically, Seokjin didnt cause this accident.Â
the person who grabbed his arm is the girl that he spends time with in the highlight reel, the whole pedestrian scene being protagonist here.Â
for Taehyung, the idea of the girl following him based on the highlight reel could be seen here.Â
Taehyung
25 June YEAR 22
I deliberately delayed my steps as I sensed to the small steps that was following me. This was the 3rdtime already at the convenience store. If there was something different, it was that today they ran away when they saw me. They hung around a vacant spot behind the convenience store but as I turned up, they hid themselves again. They hid themselves well but their shadows were reaching to the front of the store. I let out a laugh. I pretended that I didnât see but they began to follow me.
I entered a narrow alley. This is the only place in the neighbourhood without a broken streetlamp. The alley was long and the streetlamp was somewhere in the middle with my shadow stretching. The shadow now stretches behind me. It could have been stretching all the way to the person who was following me with ragged breath. I started walking a little bit faster. As I passed the streetlamp, my shadow disappeared beneath my feet. Not long after, a shadow that wasnât mine appeared on the cement floor. I stopped walking and so did the movements. The two shadows of different heights stopped side by side.
I said, âIâm going to wait until you come here.â The shadow behind me leaped out of shock. Then it became still as if it wasnât here. âI can see everything.â I pointed to the shadow. The footsteps became nearer and deliberately were noisy. I laughed.
the scene of her following Taehyung wherever they went, from one meeting at the convenience store to that at the train tracks. interesting that Taehyung has a keen eye on his surroundings.Â
Namjoon
30 June YEAR 22
I looked a bit strange as I pushed the open button of the door as if my own hands had a will of their own. There are these kind of moments. Moments that I felt have repeated for numerous times, though it was the first. The elevator door close before they opened again for people to push their way in. Among them, I looked for the person who tied her hair with a yellow rubber band. I didnât press the button knowing that the person would be there, but I thought the person would certainly be there. I moved back, one step at a time. When my back hit the cold elevator wall, I looked up and saw the yellow rubber band.
A personâs back tells a lot of stories. I had known a few of them. There were some that I could guess yet there were some that were left alone after everything is over. I thought that you know someone when you can read everything just from his back. Then, wouldnât there be someone who would know me just from reading my back? As I lifted my head, our gazes met in the mirror. In a flash, she avoided my eyes. This kind of thing happens often. When I lifted my head again, I only saw my face. I couldnât see my back.
here, I'm not sure why Namjoon even mentioned this, just like what I explained in 1984, i guess he is talking about body language. i figure the back is somewhat by being able to read it, means you've known what the person is really feeling, in a way to say that the person let his guard down unknowingly.Â
continuing from the Hoseok story on 31 May, it is clearly seen on 3 July, Jimin dances together with him and some sort of rivalry forms but has also been extended to the girl that they both like based on the highlight reel.
Jimin
3 July YEAR 22
In the end, I sprawled onto the floor. I turned off the music and my surroundings went quiet, all I could hear was the beating of my heart. I pulled out my hand phone and played the choreography dance video that I had learned in the morning. Hyungâs movements were so smooth and accurate in the video. Â That was the result of his countless hours and sweat of practicing, and now since I wasnât anywhere near as him, I was jealous. However, understanding and hoping are different and so I sighed often. Again I stood up. I imitated the turn as he had done it but I kept twisting my steps. I kept on making mistakes at the parts where we have to match the flow. We decide to match again tomorrow but until then I wanted to be seen as serious. Rather that a playful phrase, I wanted to be complimented as âbetter than expectedâ, I wanted to be recognized as someone who was equal and serious, one that could match with hyung.
in the HYYH Tear notes, Hoseokâs notes come about and itâs about the girl agin in the highlight reel.Â
Hoseok
4 July YEAR 22Â
I was standing in the hallway the whole time she was receiving first aid. Though it was in the middle of the night, there were many people hovering around. I was soaked to the skin by the rain and my own sweat that  my hair was dripping with it. I shook off the sweat and rain off my hair and put down the bag that was with her. A diversity of things came out tumbling out of it. Coins rolled onto the floor, even a ballpen and a towel fell out. In the middle, there was a airplane e-ticket. I picked it up and read it briefly. Â
Then, the doctor called me. He told me that she had a mild concussion and that itâs nothing to worry a lot about. Soon later, she came out as well. âAre you alright?â She said that her head hurt slightly and she took her bag from me. She saw that the e-ticket was peeking out and looked at my face. I changed the strap of my bag slung onto my shoulder and pretended that I didnât see anything and said that we should go. It has been raining for some time already when we came to the front door. I stood at the front of the door. Â
âHoseok-ahâ. She called me. Her facial expression told me that she wanted to say something. âLetâs wait a while. Iâll buy an umbrella.â I recklessly ran into the rain. There was a convenience store far off in the distance. I knew that for some time ago she entered an overseas dance team audition. The airplane ticket meant that she made it. I didnât want her to say it. I didnât have the confidence to congratulate her.Â
this was like in the highlight reels where Hoseok carried her in the rain while Jimin suffered when he scraped himself against the nail.
on this day as mentioned, Jimin comes into play as well.Â
Jimin
4 July YEAR 22Â
By the time I came back to my senses, I washed my arm so much that I was losing skin. My hands trembled and I was out of breath. Blood ran down my arm. Looking at the mirror, my eyes were bloodshot. The incident came back to my in fragments. Â
In that moment, I lost my focus. It was during the dance when I wanted to match the dance with Noona from a dance club that I lost my flow and collided into her. I fell to the rough floor and my arm started to bleed. I suddenly remembered what happened at the flower arboretum. I thought I had overcome it. But then, that wasnât the case. I only ran away. I had to wash it away. I had to look away. The me in the mirror was the same 8-year old me who ran away in the rain. Then I realized it. Noona fell down as well. Â
There wasnât anyone in the practice room. I saw the door open ajar with the rain falling outside. I could see Hoseok hyung running. The rain was pouring onto him. I ran after them with an umbrella. I ran. In the end, I stopped and stood there.Â
I couldnât do anything. All I could was fall and hurt someone, leave them behind with a part of my pain and then run after them too late before stopping. I turned around. Every time I took a step, rain water soaked my sneakers. Car headlights passed me. I wasnât okay. No, I am fine. I wasnât in pain. This much isnât an injury. I was really fine.Â
this was a trauma that Jimin encountered that brought him back to his 8 year old self, the whole reason why he was being kept in the hospital by his parents for years.Â
yet what happened at the flower arboretum is still unknown.Â
so next is Namjoom, it seems like he follows the girl closely as such based on the notes,Â
Namjoon
13 July YEAR 22Â
I leaned against the window of the bus. From the library to the gas station. The familiar scenery passing by the window since I take this route everyday. Will the day come for me to leave this scenery behind? I felt that it was impossible to predict what tomorrow would bring.Â
In the distance in front of me, I could see a lady wearing a yellow hair tie. Her shoulders liften and dropped as though she exhaled. She also leaned against the window. It has already been a month since we studied at the library and took the same bus from the station. We hadnât spoken a word to each other, but we look at the same scenery together, lived in the same time and sighed the same sighs. The hair tie was still in my pantsâ pocket. Â
The lady always dropped off three stations before me. I always wondered whether she would be distributing flyers there. What kind of things does she spend her time doing, what are the things that sheâs enduring? How much has she been thinking that tomorrow might not come, or that from the beginning, there was never such a thing called âtomorrowâ? These are what I thought about. Â
The station that the lady would drop by was approaching. Someone pressed the stop button and other passengers got up from their seats. However, in the midst of this, the lady didnât move. Â Her head was just still against the window at where she sat. Time still passed. I went to get closer to her. In that moment, I was conflicted. The bus stop came near. The lady was still as how she was in the beginning. People got off the bus. The doors closed and the bus began to take off. Â
It has passed 3 bus stops but I didnât want to wake her up. As I moved to the exit of the bus, I fought with myself again. It was clear that if I got off, no one would pay attention to her. She would wake up somewhere far from her stop and that it would be much more tiring today for her because of it. Â
I dropped off from the bus and the scent of the gas station started to waft through the air. The bus took off and I didnât want to look back. I left the hair tie on top of her bag. That wasnât the start but it wasnât the end either. From the beginning, nevertheless, there was no whatsoever reason. I just thought that nevertheless, it didnât matter.Â
personally I find Namjoonâs notes the most confusing one as there is barely much relation to the storyline as such.Â
his character development throughout the timeline wasn't much, it wasn't deeply explained unlike the others.Â
moving on, based on these notes, it is true that Jungkook was hit by the car since he ended up in the hospital and assuming that he was hit on April 11, it is possible that he was hospitalized for longer periods of time.Â
Jungkook
16 July YEAR 22
I stood at the window and sang a bit to the song playing in my earphones. It has already been a week. Now I donât need to see the lyrics to sing along. I took out one side of my earphones so that I could practice listening to my own voice. (someone) said that they liked it because it was beautiful but it only made me scratch my head in embarrassment. The July sunshine entered the big window. The green leaves of the trees flew and shone in the wind and everytime it fell on my face, it felt different. I closed my eyes. I sang while looking at the yellow, blue and green colours behind my eyes. Whether it was the lyrics or the sunshine, something tickled and stung my heart.
based on these research, it is typical that any car accident patient would sustain injuries depending on severity etc, but clearly Seokjin did manage to save him in a way that Jungkook doesn't die but is still alive and is hospitalized.
on 17 July, itâs like the highlight reels here.Â
TaehyungÂ
17 July YEAR 22Â
My side hurt so bad that it felt as if it was torn. Sweat trickled down my face. The corners of the railroad tracks, the vacant lot behind the convenience store, at the upper road â she was nowhere to be seen. Though I came behind the bus stop, of course, she wouldnât be there. The commuters who were waiting for the bus were looking at me weirdly. What could I do? We didnât promise to meet, but it was strange. She was always making appearances from somewhere and followed me around. Even calling her annoying was useless. Yet, the places that we went together, she wasnât there. Â
I stopped walking upon the front of a familiar wall. This was where we did graffiti together. This was her first drawing. On top of it, there was a large X mark over it. It was her. There was no way I saw her do it, but I knew it was her. Why? I donât have an answer. Instead, several after-images that were scary overlapped on the wall. Â
She laughed at me on the day when I hit my head against the railroad tracks as I lied down. Her helping me up as I helped her run away, her angry face when I stole and ate her bread. Her solemn expression when we passed by a photo studio with a family portrait in the front window. Her gaze on the students that we passed by, even she was oblivious to it. This wall was where we sprayed together as I said this. âIf you have a problem, tell me. Donât grumble about it to yourself.â This X was drawn all over these memories. It seemed to say that it was all fake. That it was all lies. Without even realizing it, I made my hands into fists. Why? Of course, I didnât have an answer. I walked back. I was alone again. Me, and her.
the scene of the railroad tracks etc and running away from the police would happen later on
Namjoon
20 July YEAR 22
I skimmed across the magazine advertisements and lifted my head. There were so many different faces of those who sat at the corner table the last few days across me. A thick book, large bag and a white paper cup alike but it still wasnât her. Again, I went back to skimming the magazines. I had been looking at the same page for more than an hour. Because of the repetitive thoughts, my eyes couldnât pick up the letters at all. I asked myself why am I sitting here. No answer came to me. Amongst those who were engrossed in something, I was lethargically looking through a magazine. I felt impatient for something to start. This isnât how it is meant to be.
I returned the magazine and continued to walk across the bookshelves The books were in rows on bookshelves taller than I was. From the open window, a breeze blew, the smell of books wafting and the dust hovering. I thought about my high school years again. My friends and I, together, in that hideout classroom. At that time, it smelled the same. Had the âCurrent Meâ grow from the âThen Meâ? I couldnât be sure of it. Regardless, it could be that everything of me had stopped at that time since back then. I moved to the opposite bookshelf. I picked up a book I used to study back then. I had to start again. From everything I had given up, one at a time.
Namjoonâs notes were always more self reflective on himself, it wasnât so much about how the story line went as in the universe of the HYYH.Â
Jungkook
26 July YEAR 22 Â
Quietly, I plucked a flower from the hospitalâs flower bed. Every time, laughter comes out from the head that was bent down. The sunshine was shining so bright that it hurts the eyes. Though I knocked the hospital wardâs door, there was no answer. I knocked again, this time, it opened a bit. Inside the ward, there was just a sheet. And, there was no one there. There was just a very quiet and dark bed. I left the hospital room. That was where I met her personally when I was bored and was pushing my wheelchair in the hallway. She appeared so suddenly that I barely had time to stop. When I left the hospital, I saw a bench. I remembered that whenever we were together, we would sit and listen to music and even draw. We even drank strawberry milk together at the rooftop. I was still holding the flower from earlier but now I had no one to give it to.Â
here Jungkook is trying to find the girl that he befriended in the hospital but of course to no avail, she wasn't there anymore. what happened to her remains a mystery, not sure if it is crucial or not.Â
Jiminâs notes follow next.Â
Jimin
28 July YEAR 22
Today, I am left alone in the practice room. It was past twelve and the trains would have stopped running. Actually, I was waiting for the trains to stop running. That way, I could be left completely alone in the practice room. When we practiced together, my eyes were only focused on the areas where I lacked. Thatâs why I was restless, I was afraid. Yet, no matter what, I wanted to do it. So I stayed by myself every night.
As my days were spent like this, interestingly, the fear in my heart disappeared. Only the truth of dancing being fun remained. For a long time, I believed that the small, weak and powerless me was real. When I danced, I ended up thinking of my weight of my body or the length of my arms, speed or strength that I could make. When I danced, I didnât feel small or weak. My skills improved greatly as much as I have practiced. The movements that had been stuttering at first were now being connected. I have grown. Even if the growth was as a fingernail, but I was still growing. I became aware that I was in reality, a talkative person. I knew that. When I danced, I was able to speak whatever I couldnât say or hadnât said. When I started to dance, for the first tine, I started to like myself.
Seems like this follows in suit to the highlight reels.Â
Taehyungâs notes brings us back to his vandalism endeavors but now related to the girl as seen in the highlight reel.
Taehyung
11 August YEAR 22
As I turned around, I discovered some words underneath the âXâ. It was a short sentence scratched onto the wall, saying âIt wasnât my fault.â. It was that kid. I didnât see her, nor did I know her handwriting but somehow I knew. It looked her last greeting. Saying that her leaving wasnât because of me. That the things that made her âfallâ was not because I was a bad person. It seemed like it was telling me not to blame myself or to be hung up on it, but instead to have courage.
When I finally got back to my senses, I was in front of my house. From the outside the door, I could hear Noonaâs scream. I flung it open and entered. A familiar scene was laid out. I blocked my father. I grabbed his arm and look right at his face. Initially, he seemed to be shocked, but then he swing his fist. This is not the first time that I was knocked out. Noonaâs crying became louder. My chin hurt. Â The smell of dusty metal came from my own mouth. Yet, I didnât give up. I grabbed my fatherâs waist. He gave off an angry scream. He mercilessly hit my back and shoulders but all the more I held on to him even tighter.
It wasnât that it didnât hurt. It wasnât that I wasnât scared. But if I let go, the same daily cycle would repeat. I wanted it to be different. I wanted to change it.
No. Iâm different from my father. Iâm going to protect our family.
It seems that Taehyung is trying to break the cycle of his abusive father, remember how he had his outbursts in the earlier months of April and May etc. not sure if this is after Taehyung killed his father or if he didnt even kill his own father hence either the I Need U timeline or the Euphoria timeline. Â
on this day, Jungkook is also a crucial character.Â
Jungkook
11 August YEAR 22
When I looked back, the hospital is really far away. I could no longer see the bench where I had left the wildflowers, neither could I see the window through wish I watched the river with the kid. As I reflected, that kid was a space for me to breathe in this stuffy hospital life. As we set on the hospital bench in the late afternoon talking about this and that, the sun had set. I told her about playing in the hideout classroom, going on a vacation to the beach and walking all the way up till the train station. She told me about all of the corners in the hospital , which window that you can see the river from, which staircase you could use to secretly climb up to the roof. There was nothing she didnât know about the hospital.
Her hospital room was empty. Had she been discharged, or moved to another hospital? I asked the nurses. But none of them could tell me. For some reason, a corner of my heart felt empty. I turned around and just kept walking. From a distance, I could see the school. It seemed like most of the things I talked to her about was involved the Hyungs, and almost every single story started with them. To me, when I was alone, the Hyungs became my friends and family and teachers. My story was within their stories, and I only existed inside a relationship with them.
Yet, at some point, I started to think as such. That there may be a day where they would no longer be at my side. I might go looking for them to find out theyâre gone, without any reason. Or maybe something even more could happen, I didnât know.
I thought of that night. When the huge moon rose in the sky, the world turned upside-down, the headlamps I saw from an inverted view, the shape of the car that passed by me and eventually disappeared. The sound of the engine, which was familiar to me for some reason. I didnât want to jump into conclusions. But even so, I just kept thinking of that moment.
following these notes would mean that Seokjin was the one who did end up colliding into him but not enough to kill him, and if assuming from this loophole that Jungkook didnt die entirely, guess Seokjin decided to crash into him to give some minor injuries and not entirely enough to kill him hence altering the timeline after all.Â
looking at Hoseokâs S version of the notes.Â
Hoseok
13 August YEAR 22
Jimin and the kid was standing in the middle of the practice room. The 5-second wait after the beginning pose always seemed long. As soon as the music flowed from the speaker, the two of them started the first move. It was the choreography that I had practiced with the kid not too long ago. I sat on the floor of the room and monitored.
When I first found out that I couldnât dance for the time being, because of my ankle, it had been really difficult. It was suffocating that I could only watch others dance. But as I helped Jimin practice and watched him grow, a realization dawned on me. The fact that I cant dance by myself wasnât a big problem and that I could be happy by continuing with dance in other ways.
When I practice with Jimin, I didnât let even the smallest mistake go by. Jimin sometimes subtly missed the timing or made movements that are smaller than what I expect. At those times, I stopped the music and scrutinized each move, one by one. But when I sat on the floor, as some kind o audience, and watched from here, Jiminâs dance looked different. I saw something bigger than just his small one-by-one movements. Things that I initially thought and dismissed of as mistakes when we practice together dawned on me differently. Such trivial mistakes and imperfections instead came together to give off a unique feeling. Of course, it would be different than mine, but Jimin had his own timing and own expressions. Jiminâs dance was bright and touches the heart just the way it was.
The music ended. Jiminâs dance ended as well. I saw that his face was shining with excitement and joy. The kid was standing next to him. The kid would be going overseas soon. Suddenly, we locked eyes. I gave a thumbs-up and the kid gave a big smile. It was strange. The kid didnât look a thing like my mother. I canât even remember my own motherâs face, so why did I think they looked similar? Suddenly, something in my heart ached. My to-be healed ankle twitched.
this relates back to the highlight reels scene, when he and Jimin practiced dancing.Â
15 August YEAR 22
on this day, Seokjin drives out of the intersection and is in search of the Smeraldo flowers, but as to why he needed it to give to the girl, I have no idea, right now I'm just assuming they are lovers.Â
looking at the Notes from Her Album,Â
Seokjin
15 August YEAR 22Â
After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didnât seem to be opened yet. It wasnât that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards. Â
Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flowerâs existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasnât looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isnât officially open but he could deliver it to me. âWhy do you need this flower?âÂ
I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person.Â
so here, this is when Seokjin picks up the bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers and he intends to give it to the girl who could be seen from the highlight reels, and who we would see later would be in a car accident.Â
look at this from S version of the HYYH the Notes.
Seokjin
30 August YEAR 22
She seemed flustered when she thought she lost her diary. Her favourite movie, her favourite place to go, her favorite flowers to even her dreams appear on every future page being turned. It was something that I had done for her. The words âSorryâ didnât come out easily. The red diary laid between us at the intersection.
I wanted to give her happiness. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to be someone she would like. I thought that if I followed the words in the diary, I would be that person. But that wasnât the case. I became more scared when I became someone else. I really donât want to be caught (for being me). I donât want disappointment to follow afterwards. Desperately, I turned my head away to hide myself. But just as one cannot put a full stop to a sentence without subject, the me who could not improve himself and continued to wander in the same place.
Now, I know. The me who lacks, makes mistakes and fails is all part of me afterall. No matter how cruel or how merciless things are, by being true to myself would I, only be able to move forward. I stood up from my position and she didnât try to grab me.
I walked out to the street and removed my hat. As I run my fingers through my hair, all the time spent trying to be someone else slipped through my fingers. I lifted my head and saw my reflection in the mirror. A frail face, pale lips and thin shoulders. I looked unkempt. I laughed. The me in the mirror laughed too.
the introduction of his lover/partner is back, much like the highlight reels.Â
anyway, looking at the notes from Tear, on this day Seokjin seems to realize that the girl has died right in front of him.Â
Seokjin
30 August YEAR 22Â
Can anyone remember the moment they fell in love. Can anyone predict the moment this love ended. What is the reason that humans are not be able to recognize these moments. And why was I given the power to undo all these things?Â
The car comes to a sudden stop, headlights flashing, bouncing, falling. The one who was standing there amongst the noisy moments, defenseless, was me. I couldnât hear anything, I couldnât sense anything at all. Though it was summer, the breeze was cold. There was the sound of something tumbling down along the road. Also, there was a scent of a flower. It was only then did a sense of reality came back to me. The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. The lady was the only one in the middle of the road. Blood was spilling out from her head. Dark red blood was flowing onto the road. I thought then. If only I could turn back time.Â
this is as seen in the highlight reels in which he was supposed to give the flowers to her but when she crossed, a car hit her.Â
I believe that the whole HYYH timeline was initially about brotherhood, hence the whole high school context and their crap together hence all these fond memories and pairings.Â
anything before YEAR 22 could be treated as background information, mainly context on all the stories of the boys and to understand the nature of their pairings, be it originally from I Need U or the ones in the Wings concept photos.Â
but amidst everything, if you compare the notes with the webtoon, April 11 YEAR 22 is the most overlapping factor.Â
May 22 YEAR 22 is when Taehyung supposedly dies; or commits suicide, yet when you see in Euphoria, assuming itâs the same date, Seokjin takes over or kind of replaces him instead.Â
every time Seokjinâs face cracks or any part of him cracks, he goes back to April 11, assuming its April 11, as if his reality shatters. itâs almost like a sick game. this could be seen in Blood, Sweat and Tears and Wings VCR Tour.Â
hence maybe why in BST, his face cracks more often. yet until now I cant figure out the reason for the huge pile of clothes etc from Spring Day. but time to think about it.Â
but everything beyond that around June/July, HYYH timeline shifts and is more centered around the boyâs relationships with the girls.. hence highlight reels..Â
I honestly donât think this whole concept mattered in the first place but itâs kinda forced in since they went through with it now lmao, as in the concept of introducing lovers inside. I think the reason why they introduced this is because of the whole idea of love yourself, before you love others, love yourself first.
but anyway, during the highlight reels period, bighit hires more writers to kinda continue the story line and so they introduced love interests ( like they had applications lmao ). Hence, this is the only reason I could think of that they are even continuing this whole timeline until now as they hired more people to do it and work on it.Â
Also, if you noticed in the Smeraldo: the Notes, it has BU, which i would either assume is Bangtan Universe, BTS Universe or Bighit Universe just like how there is YG Family, JYP Nation and SM Town.Â
now, if it is indeed BTS Universe, you could imagine that this is just a whole world of AUs, lots of parallels, much like a marvel universe. however, if this was the bighit universe, then best believe me when I say that should the boys ever go into military/enlistment or despite being exempted, want to serve, trust me that bighit would milk TXT and rope them into this universe.Â
it is possible considering how they kinda planned the whole debut date, 2013 and 2019 having the exact same year literally, just the change in the last number of the 4 digits. i wouldnât be surprised. think of TXT as a possible AU should this happen, not that I am trying to compare them, I believe they have their own colour, but I wouldn't be surprised if they get roped in to be part of this complex story line.Â
i still kinda believe that HYYH should have ended by maybe around Wings, others thought that it should have ended in their repackage album of Young Forever, but i guess to oneâs own perception.Â
i just kinda want to see how this would end, especially since they are releasing the HYYH: the Notes Book. and the whole webtoon would end just in time for their first ever comeback April 12, one day after the webtoon ends on April 11.Â
i want to see if i would even have my answers after all. especially now with their upcoming comeback called Map of the Soul: Persona, best believe a new theory would be out soon.Â
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
overall: interesting that bangtan decided to have a song called âě íě§ ëŞťí ě§ěŹâ = The Truth Untold in one of their more recent comebacks which would be âLove Yourself: Tearâ with their title track called: Fake Love.Â
warning(s): mentions of deathÂ
â theory masterlistÂ
theory:Â now delving deeper inside this, if you look closely at the lyrics of the song, it exactly depicts the story of Smeraldo which were released on blog posts 2 years ago when they have the comeback of Love Yourself Her - a smeraldo blog was set up as such and they actually told the story and history of the smeraldo flower and its relationship to the florist ( the owner of the shop )Â
but what was interesting was that later on before the comeback of Love Yourself Tear, this smeraldo blog was taken down and the latest post was that they are currently renovating and would come back soon, as it was meant to be a blog to show the opening of the store around August but was delayed.Â
170903 // 2.06AM KST
we are shutting down everything temporarily
due to personal circumstances, the opening of the flower shop and blog operations would be temporarily postponed. to the people looking out for us, we want to give our thanks and apologies to you.
( trans: the smeraldo blog is put on hold for now and seemed to have deleted the other blog posts )
PostÂ
now, fast forward to the upcoming comeback of the Love Yourself Answer, the smeraldo blog was somehow magically brought back to life, as if it was back in business but rumours had it that the blog posts were slightly altered, but the gist is remains quite the same ( hence the idea as though they are time travelling etc; the idea of changing events ).Â
comparing the content of basically the smeraldo blog, the same posts were being uploaded just a year later. ( as if they went back into time )
anyway, in the past before i could even translate everything, i managed to translate a few of the blog posts before it was taken down. ( masterlist here ).Â
the 1st blog post mainly introduces about the blog and about the floristâs adventures into finding the smeraldo, mainly saying that itâs a flower that is part of a love story.Â
170709 // 4.21PM KST
[1st ever story] the fate of smeraldo, the prologue story
hello. im âtestessoâ the florist.
i started this blog because i wanted to introduce the flower, smeraldo. i just want to let you know in advance that i am preparing to open a flower shop that specializes in smeraldo in the middle of september. however you might think of it, this blog may be seen as its meant for publicity, i think ive ever met that this smeraldo ( shop ) is not a simple business.
my first connection with smeraldo dated 5 years ago. during that time, i was studying abroad in north dakota, in far north america. while in america, we participated in the academyâs <Flower 2012> that opened in virgina for a week. it takes a flight that is more than 5hrs from north dakota to virginia and no less than 7hours from my dorm to school.
[TSAâs caption: The Smeraldo Academy (TSA) that researches and specializes in the smeraldo.
Beneath it is the academyâs facebook link]
but when i entered the distant event hall, I discovered a placard that said 'the origins of playing cardsâ. <Flower 2012> had already ended last week at the event of the academy at the time of americaâs playing cards. i wrote the wrong date in my diary. at that time, itâs absurd to think that all are connected if i look back at it. i was so tired that i couldnât afford to move anywhere else so i sat down and listened to the speech. fortunately, the speech was interesting as it was talking about future career of a florist and the connections between flowers was very exciting. of course as expected, itâs⌠'smeraldoâ
as you know from seeing the picture, the smeraldo carries a warm feeling. the romantic petals that are magical and subtle colours, and donât you think thereâs some kind of sad meaning behind it? thatâs right. smeraldo is a flower with a passionate and heartaching story behind it. the story can be said by ânon potevo dire la veritĂ â, that means 'inability to convey sincerityâ in italian. speaking of flowers in love stories, can you guess whether it was sad?
in the future, through this blog about smeraldo, let me unfold the story about this flower gradually in the playing cards.
the 2nd blog post mainly talks about how the florist wishes to bring in Smeraldos for his shop etcÂ
the 3rd blog post talks about how the Smeraldo was first discovered so there is nothing much here.Â
it is the 4th blog post that it becomes more important. Â
170720 // 1.56PM KST
[4th story] the smeraldo legend
everyone, can you confidently say that you're beautiful? in the past, i was blinded by a door that said 'i am beautiful.' ive also been blinded by a door that said 'im not beautiful' and to some extent, you can choose which door to pull and enter. everyone, what do you think you would do? im going to tell you something now, starting the entangled love story of smeraldo.
the story of smeraldo is estimated to have begun from 15th century-16th century, in a rural village in northern italy. there's a small solitary castle in 'Sita Di Smeraldo' (La CittĂ di smeraldo). there was a man with a really ugly appearance living there.
Ⲡthe estimated village of 'Sita Di Smeraldo' in northern italy
there was not quite as much information about the man. 'the illegitimate child of the duke of Florence, the duke who fell in love with the gardener's daughter who gave birth to an illegitimate child, the man's mother died at the time of childbirth, and the wife and children of the man tried to kill the man, and so the duke sent the man away.' though there were full of rumours, none of them were claimed to be true.
the man alone hid himself in solitude at the old castle. because of the hatred and jealousy he received upon his birth and growing up, he didn't open his heart to anyone, when anyone tried to approach him, he would hid himself away angrily. his only joy was to grow flowers in his garden. one day, a woman appeared near the vicinity of his castle. the shabby woman picked up the heels of the garden fence, climbed over it and stole some flowers. the man was furious at first, and spent all night protecting his garden. but when he fell asleep for a while, the woman started to pick flowers again. the nights continued like that night, the man pretended to be a joe and observed the returning woman. curiosity killed the cat. the man waited for the woman, and one day decided to follow her. with the woman wrapped in a cloak, the man followed her to a place, the man found out that the poor and sickly woman was selling the flowers to earn a living.
the man wanted to help the woman. he wanted to teach the woman personally how to grow the flowers, and how to grow beautiful flowers. but he couldn't get ahead of her. the woman herself would be scared of him, it was obvious that she wouldn't love his ugly appearance. in the end, all he could do was to plant and grow flowers so that in a matter of time, she would stay in the garden.
the man decided to make a flower that does not exist in the world. the woman started to sell the expensive flowers that she made. after many consecutive failures, the man finally succeeded in making a flower that does not exist in the world, filling his garden with those flowers.
but when he started on this, the woman stopped showing up. no matter how long he waited, the woman did not appear at his garden, the troubled man went down to the village. and so the woman was found to have died.
and up till here, this is the story of smeraldo. i don't know if this really happened, but whoever saw the flower does not know whether it's made up. but every time i look at the smeraldo, i recall the story of it and think of it. if the man had the courage, would he have shown his face and expressed his sincerity? of course, the woman might have been scared and run away, even get mad. to have bravery is easier said than done.
actually, i have a similar experience. it's about the friend that i met at the playing card event at the academy in the previous post. i actually had a crush on him. he was a very bright, cheerful person. after hearing the news of the discovery of the smeraldo, he received the story related to the flowers, and promised me that we would go together to Sita Di Smeraldo. he told me to go with him if he really didn't mean anything to me.
even now, i recall and think about that day. the expression on his face that was full of courage and expectation, with big, short and quick steps and strapping on a knapsack, he excitedly grabbed an opportunity to reserve a plane in schedule.
i will never ever forget that moment. and even though a lot of time has passed, it is still a raw wound that will not heal.
this is of utmost importance. because it is exactly what is being relayed in the song âthe truth untoldâ.Â
the most important post of all is the 7th one. the story of the florist being almost identical to how the Smeraldo flower was made and then put into a song by bangtan.Â
170813 // 2.02PM KST
[7th story] âthe truth untoldâ
Actually, I'm not from a very wealthy family. I also had a hard time studying in America.
I was a foreigner, henceI was not fluent in English, and I couldn't afford to have a great future.
On the day we promised to go on a trip to Italy, I waited for that friend at the airport and saw her get off the bus with a handsome and wonderful man over the glass door. I hid myself right away. Why did i do that? I don't know...I just hid myself reflexively and turned around and walked away.
'That's it then. I couldn't have tried to make her to go on a trip to Italy with me. For her, I was just a poor foreigner who didn't know anything.' That was my feelings then.
She called while I was walking, but I didn't answer. I stared at my face in the mirror in the airport toilet.
Then, I turned off my cell phone and got on the plane. I booked the same flight, so I thought she would be there with him somewhere on the plane, but I didn't find her. I just wished for it. I don't know how much I wanted her to look for me around the plane. But until the plane crossed the Atlantic and landed in Italian airspace and got off at the airport... No one came to see me.
ⲠPictures taken while waiting for her at the international San Francisco airport in America
Sita di Smeraldo remains a painful and happy memory for me. The flowers were so beautiful that I cried. And that night something strange happened. I woke up with a strange sound while sleeping in a private house. There was a bed just below the window, and I could hear someone knocking on the window. The room was on the second floor and it was quiet outside. The time was past midnight and the curtain was pulled down so I couldn't see what was outside the window.
It wasn't scary or fearful, but it was still strange. I thought I'd woken up and open the window on the second floor, but I didnât. I was forced to sleep, thinking that it would be better for the branches to shake in the wind and hit the window, but I couldn't sleep very well. I laid still for a long time listening to the sound, as if holding something back.
It was around lunch the next day that she called. No, it wasn't her who called. It was her brother. She had an accident at the airport where she was chasing someone in a hurry, and her breathing became unstable a little after midnight last night, and she ended up leaving the world.
Before I left my dorm that day, I opened the window next to my bed. The sunlight came in, and there was a colony of Smeraldo flowers. As I looked at the flowers and felt the wind passing by in the sun, I felt as if I was standing next to her by the window looking at Smeraldo.
ⲠPainful and happy memories, the beautiful scenery of Sita di Smeraldo.
On my way home from the United States and from the airport, I heard some news that I had been looking forward to for a long time had been achieved. It was the fact that the Smeraldo flower shop in Korea was approved by the Smeraldo Society. Because Smeraldo is a rare species, the association strictly manages its overseas sales and so on, and it was approved by me to apply to the association later on. Later, three years have passed since the opening of the Smeraldo flower shop in Korea, but I decided to think that the news from the conference was the last message she gave me.
And that's how she gave me the (non-potevo de la veritĂ ) and went to a different world.
This is the special relationship that I talked about in the first post.
but for easier reference, i have also placed the lyrics of the song right here.Â
This garden is filled
With blossoming loneliness
I tied myself
To this sand castle filled with thorns
What is your name?
Do you even have a place to go?
Oh could you tell me?
I saw you hiding in this garden
And I know
Your heat is real
Your hand picks the blue flowers
I want to hold it but
This is my destiny
Donât smile on me
Light on me
Because I canât go to you
Thereâs no name to call
You know that I canât
Show you me
Give you me
I canât show you my weakness
So Iâm putting on a mask to go see you
But I still want you
A flower that resembles you
Blossomed in this garden of loneliness
I wanted to give it to you
As I take off this stupid mask
But I know
This canât go on forever
I must hide
Because Iâm ugly
Iâm afraid
So pathetic
Iâm so afraid
In the end, will you leave me too?
So Iâm putting on a mask to go see you
What I can do is
To make a pretty flower
That resembles you
Blossom in this garden, in this world
Then breathe as the person you know
But I still want you
I still want you
Maybe back then
If I had just a little more
Courage
And stood before you
Would everything be different now?
Iâm crying
At this sandcastle
Thatâs disappearing
And breaking down
As I look at this broken mask
And I still want you
But I still want you
But I still want you
And I still want you
Reference: Colour Coded Š
now, letâs look at each section of the song one by one. it is exactly the story of the Smeraldo legend in which the man whose appearance he refused to show to the woman who he grows to love ( despite her stealing his flowers ), he wears a mask so not to scare her away etc.Â
the idea of the man just out of reflex hiding from the woman as such and the ending that she died before he could even confess that he loved her - thatâs the truth untold.Â
yet, if you compare with Fake Love, there is some semblance of the Smeraldo flower here as well.Â
If itâs for you
I can act like Iâm happy even when Iâm sad
If itâs for you
I can act strong even when it hurts
Hoping love will be perfected with only love
Hoping that all my weaknesses will be hidden
In this dream that wonât ever come true
I grew a flower that couldnât be blossomed
Reference: Colour Coded Š
just like the man in the Smeraldo legend, he created a flower that couldnt be blossomed by anyone else. that was how much effort and love he has for the woman that he barely knew the name of. he only knew her as someone who was sick and sold flowers for a living.Â
now, see this is related to a whole love story, not so much of the HYYH period, and remember the articles posted regarding the highlight posters were meant to talk about love, in a way this is an extension of the HYYH era but now the idea of love, relationships and dating is now involved and not so much between the brotherhood that we all thought it was just about before especially with Prologue.Â
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
overall: this is the final instalment of the Love Yourself series with Idol being the title track of LY: Answer.Â
â theory masterlist
theory: frankly, i dont really think thereâs much going on with this video in relation to the whole HYYH series actually.Â
possibly only maybe a quick glimpse of the pairing of Yoongi and Jungkook, but otherwise, there really isnt much to relate to the previous theories just like in I Need U.Â
however, what was interesting is that if you'd watch the Idol Mv together with DNA, one would say that DNA is the pre-era of Idol.
if you look at the palace settings, definitely, it seemed in DNA, the palace i being constructed and now in Idol, it is finished. while the one in fake love seemed like a parallel world where the construction went into ruins ( it has that negative ambience )Â
i feel that this video is much more related towards to CG effects and aesthetics rather than just a storyline that follows the whole HYYH series; hence this is why this theory is quite short.Â
even if i were to compare with the Idol mv Ft. Nicki Minaj, there is not much change except for the inclusion of her part and a few other scenes; all in all, there still isn't much relation to the HYYH seriesÂ
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
so this is another milestone for our boys in which at the 2018 MMA, they won a total of 7 awards with 2 of them being the daesangs, I'm so proud of them. but yet, with another award show, it shows subtle comeback hints for their next era, so what is in store for us this time round?Â
warning(s): spoilers of Harry Potter, mentions of death, suicide, abuses, violence etc; please read with care
support my ko-fi âď¸
â theory masterlistÂ
theory: see, there was already some things on twitter in which they mentioned that bangtan would be having an 18mins worth of time for their performances inclusive of vcrs, and that means quite a lot of content for them to showcase hints for their next comeback.Â
so, based on here ( which is the full MMA performance inclusive of VCRs), you could see that they started out with the sort of same feeling for their mnet comeback stage of fake love in their comeback show hereÂ
look at the similarities, the whole idea being in that same place with the cloaks and the masks.Â
comeback show
fake love (extended version)
mma
but hereâs where they merged more together with the fake love extended version as well, in which all of the 7 members have their own cloaks and masks.( read the fake love teaser 1 theory, fake love theory here, fake love extended theory here )Â
yet, you would see that bangtan did their own solo dances, having their solo performances/time etc, to reveal them in their âown worldsâ as what this segment for bangtanâs performance at MMA was introduced.Â
and it matches exactly of Eâs concept, the idea of being trapped in their own worlds, possibly without the masks etc.
moreover, the vcr from the MMA showed that they zoomed it out from a keyhole, and who do we notice was also zoomed out from a keyhole?Â
either Hoseok or Jungkook, ironically our two main characters for the first part of the love yourself seres, in which Jungkook does the intro of Euphoria and Hoseok with his trivia 辡: just dance.Â
notice also that there is some sort of relationship between them in the HYYH: the Notes, O version, here as well.Â
Jungkook
30 September YEAR 20
âYet, when I opened the door, I could only see Hoseok Hyung. He was cleaning the things we left behind in the classroom. I held the door handle and just stood there. Hyung came over and put his arm around my shoulders. He then led me outside. âNow, letâs go.â He closed the door of the classroom behind us. Now I realized. Those days were gone and they would never return.â
okay but moving on, if you go back to the start of banganâs performance, it goes with âWho are you?â.
now I'm thinking here that after you find out how to love yourself, you start to know yourself and then possibly speak for yourself, as to what Namjoon preaches during his speech at the UN General Assembly, i mean thatâs what Namjoon sort of did during the billboard music awards, âlove myself, love yourselfâ and that became the next era.Â
im assuming, itâs going to be the same here as well.Â
see, bighit recently decided to revisit some of the old HYYH pt.2 concept photos posted on instagram and changing the hashtags to be more fitting with what there is to come. many armys speculated on this ( here )
thing is, there used to be hashtags already existing for these photos, but i have a feeling they added more.
since if you look at the concept photos, it would be #no regrets, #neverland, #dream etc but now you have #Awake ( ironically Seokjinâs first solo ), #PLAY, #Psique, #togetherforever.Â
âWho are youâ if in the acronym form is WAY, just like what they did in the hashtag. #WAYToYou, possible Who Are You to You?Â
of course, they would have changed Seokjinâs hashtags for the concept photos because so far he is the leading character however, interestingly, they changed Yoongiâs concept photo as well.
there could be two reasons for this, possibly that they would eventually change the hashtags of all the boys or there could be a shift in the role of whoâs going to be the main character for the next era.
going back to the HYYH translations, i dont really see much linkages between Yoongi and Seokjin as much.Â
the hashtag #togetherforever would probably prove that possibly all the boys died ( read prologue theory ), and going into purgatory or maybe just Seokjin surviving etc and the boys are in his memory etc, or no matter what Seokjin does, someone would die, but initially, the boys would be together.Â
possibly a reincarnation of the boysâ deaths hence theyâre together forever.Â
also, the fact that there was this whole vcr of the memories of the boys since the prologue, to include i need u, euphoria, highlight reels, etc, the whole story line actually, these glimpses of the memories of the boys, perhaps in different lives or at different times, shows that they are together forever, at the young age of youth they are in, possibly in a dream.Â
now, moving forward, see the vcr pans out to this mirror in which it shows these weird sentences but you could hear the audio playing in the background to find out what it really means.Â
you read it from the bottom, backwards.
âI show not only your true side but also your fake side.â
this mirror reminds us of the Mirror of Erised from Harry Potter, in which the words are read backwards. many armys speculated this as well on twitter (Â here and here )
The Mirror of Erised is a very old device. Nobody knows who created it, or how it came to be at Hogwarts School. A succession of teachers have brought back interesting artefacts from their travels, so it might have arrived at the castle in this casual manner, either because the teacher knew how it worked and was intrigued by it, or because they did not understand it and wished to ask their colleaguesâ opinions.
The Mirror of Erised is one of those magical artefacts that seems to have been created in a spirit of fun (whether innocent or malevolent is a matter of opinion), because while it is much more revealing than a normal mirror, it is interesting rather than useful. Only after Professor Dumbledore makes key modifications to the mirror (which has been languishing in the Room of Requirement for a century or so before he brings it out and puts it to work) does it become a superb hiding place, and the final test for the impure of heart.
The mirrorâs inscription (âerised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsiâ) must be read backwards to show its true purpose.
âI show not your face but your true desireâ
Reference
Harry Potter was known to have been an orphan as a child, not because his parents left him or anything, but because they were killed and he survived but attained the lightning scar thatâs on his forehead.Â
if you follow the whole series of Harry Potter, either through the books or movies, you would have known that Harry Potter longed to be with his parents, the people he loves, Dumbledore even. that was what Harry truly desired.
Albus Dumbledoreâs words of caution to Harry when discussing the Mirror of Erised express my own views. The advice to âhold on to your dreamsâ is all well and good, but there comes a point when holding on to your dreams becomes unhelpful and even unhealthy. Dumbledore knows that life can pass you by while you are clinging on to a wish that can never be â or ought never to be â fulfilled. Harryâs deepest yearning is for something impossible: the return of his parents. Desperately sad though it is that he has been deprived of his family, Dumbledore knows that to sit gazing on a vision of what he can never have, will only damage Harry. The mirror is bewitching and tantalising, but it does not necessarily bring happiness.
Reference
here, Rowlingâs thoughts were put forth and it said that basically, your true desires are the ones that could hurt you the most, causing far more damage as such.Â
if i relate it back to of the boys, if going by the harry potterâs version of the mirror, their deepest desires are the ones thatâs going to get them hurt, hence the whole concept of Temptation during the Wings era, wanting something that it hurts so bad. ( inspired by Demian by Hermann Hesse )
however, if we go by bangtanâs version of the mirror, itâs the sense that they changed themselves to please others to the point that they do not know who they are anymore, hence fake love, singularity, the truth untold etc.Â
If itâs for you
I can act like Iâm happy even when Iâm sad
If itâs for you
I can act strong even when it hurts
Hoping love will be perfected with only love
Hoping that all my weaknesses will be hidden
In this dream that wonât ever come true
I grew a flower that couldnât be blossomed
Iâm so sick of this
Fake love, fake love, fake love
Iâm so sorry but itâs
Fake love, fake love, fake love
ě ëś ë°ęż¨ě´
Just for you
Now I dunno me
Who are you?
=
I changed everything
just for you
Now I dunno me
Who are you?
You say Iâm strange when I changed into the person you liked
You say Iâm not the person you used to know
What do you mean? No, Iâve grown blind
What do you mean this is love, itâs all fake love
I canât show you my weakness
So Iâm putting on a mask to go see you
ë°ëł´ ę°ě ę°ëŠ´ě ë˛ęł ě
=
As I take off this stupid mask
ë ę°ëŠ´ě ě°ęł ë ë§ëëŹ ę°
=
So Iâm putting on a mask to go see you
ë ě¸ęł ěě´
ěŹëźě§
돴ëě§
íëĄ ë¨ę˛¨ě§ ě´ ëŞ¨ëěąěě
ëśěě§ ę°ëŠ´ě ë°ëźëł´ëŠ´ě
And I still want you
=
Iâm crying
At this sandcastle
Thatâs disappearing
And breaking down
As I look at this broken mask
And I still want you
this facade, this whole song tells the story of Smeraldo through and through
Reference: Colour Coded Š ( here, here and here ) Â
even looking at the lyrics of those songs would show ideas of how much they have changed for someone, their lies piling up.Â
coincidentally, these songs are the first 3 of the album as well.Â
so, just like the mirror in the MMA stage VCR, im guessing they picked it out from this. so going by the spinoff of bangtan, instead of the mirror showing their not just their fake side/facade, but it also shows their true side.Â
i am assuming the mirror is going to reflect the full truth, seeing through all the lies or walls/barricades that the boys built to protect themselves in this world. to show their inner demons as well and flaws.Â
hence, possibly a reenactment of the smeraldo flower âthe truth untoldâ but with the mirror, would now be told/revealed.Â
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
overall: following up with the upcoming comeback of bangtan, bighit decides to release another part of the HYYH: the Notes, and this time, itâs of Seokjinâs one in the year 22.
â theory masterlist
theory: so based off from my previous HYYH: the Notes theory, i guess it is safe to say that Year 22, is the current year, in which possibly Seokjin begins to try and correct his mistakes; beginning with visiting Namjoon at the gas station based off from the HYYH: the Notes, R version, and seen in the BST JP. version.
Seokjin
11 April YEAR 22
With a screech, the car had barely came to a stop. I was so deep in thought that I didnât see the light changing. Students in familiar uniforms were crossing the street and looking at me through the window. Some people were pointing at me. I forced a smile and bowed my head. Â I knew what I had to do. But I wasnât unafraid. It was more of could I put an end to all these misfortunes and pain? What is the point of repeating the same failure mean that I wont be able to achieve success? But is it telling me to give up? Is our happiness just a meaningless hope? Uncomfortable thoughts like these raced through my mind. Â
At some point, I approached the intersection with a gas station and I could see Namjoon filling up some cars. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out slowly. I could see all of their faces when I tried to recall them one by one â Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. I changed lanes and then entered the gas station. I didnât want to give up. Even if there was a 1% chance, I wouldnât give up. Through the window, I saw Namjoon approach.
but anyway, bighit drops these translations of Seokjinâs notes with the whole yellow-blue kind of colour; much like young forever.Â
Seokjin
3 August YEAR 22
I entered the storage classroom after opening the door of it. In the middle of one summer night, the yet to be hot air was mixed with mold and dust. In a moment, many scenes flashed across my mind. The shining heels of the principalâs, Namjoonâs expression as he stood outside, the last day that I turned around leaving Hoseok and went home alone. Suddenly, my head hurts and I had chills. A complicated emotion came over to me like pain, one that could be of annoyance and one that could be of fear. The obvious signal could be felt with my whole body, my whole heart. I had to get out of here.
Taehyung grabbed my arm, after reading my expression. âHyung, try a little bit more. Just try to remember what happened here.â I shook off Taehyungâs hand and went in. With the heat wave, it has been a few hours that has passed. I was exhausted. The others looked at me with expressions that explained that they didnât know what to say. Memory. The memory of when Taehyung spoke was meaningless to me. Maybe, that was what I did, maybe I could have done that, our story when we were together. That could have happened. That was what I hoped would have happened. Yet, this wasnât the convicted memory. This wasnât the experienced that I grasped. It has to be something that takes root deep down in your heart, your head and deep down in your soul. But at the place that I was at, everywhere was a bad memory. I was in pain, I wanted to run away.
A quarrel arose between me wanting to leave and Taehyung blocking my path. But we were both tired. Our attempts to hit or dodge or push felt tiring and heavy, much like a warm, viscous liquid. In a flash, Taehyung and my feet were tangled. I thought I had hit the wall, in the next moment, I staggered and was not thinking straight.
At first, there was no way I would have known what happened. Because of the thick dust, I had to close my eyes and I had a hard time breathing. Since I couldnât breathe properly, I coughed a lot. âAre you okay?â Someone asked as I realized that I was on the floor. As I got up, I realized that what I saw as a wall was crumnling down. Beyond the wall, there was a wide space. For a short while, there was no movement. âOh my god. How much time have we spent in this place?â Someone said. No one would have imagined that there was such a place beyond this wall. However, what is that over there? As the dust begun to settle down, my eyes grazed across a cabinet that was standing in the middle of the wide space.
Namjoon opened the door of the cabinet. I took a step closer. Inside, there was a notebook placed inside. Namjoon picked it up and turned the first page of it. In that moment, everyone stopped breathing. It was obvious that the notebook had been left behind for such a long time, yet on the first page was a name that I couldnât even imagine. It was my fatherâs name. I snatched the book as Namjoon tried to turn another page. Though he was shocked, I couldnât care. I went to the desk. I turned the pages of the notebook carefully as though they would crumble.
It was a diary of my father who handwrote everyday what he did experienced together with his friends when he was a high school student. There were stories everyday. Sometimes it skipped a month, other pages were unreadable because of the bloodstains. But still I knew that he went through the same things that I did. He made mistakes and blunders just like me, and kept on running and running to make up for them.
My fatherâs notebook recorded his own mistakes. In the end, he gave up and failed. He had forgotten, turned away and avoided them. He threw away his friends. On the last page of the notebook, there was nothing but black ink stains. The stains had bled through the pages. The next page and on the next page, the next page until the last page, those pages showed my fatherâs failures.
Many hours have passed and every angle was hazy. At the window with the cool breeze, I could see the darkest time of the day, the time before the sun rises. Namjoon and the other younger ones were asleep at where they sat down. I lifted my head and looked at the wall. This was where my father had personally written his name on. On top, there was a sentence written there. âThis is where everything has started.â
The moment I closed the notebook, I felt as though something was starting from my fingertips all the way to arm. I saw faint letters appearing on the smeared ink stains. From behind the window, I could feel an ominous energy. It seemed that the sun would rise soon. Yet, it wasnât the end of the night. It was the time where itâs not night and itâs not yet dawn. It was like a hint of darkness yet of a grayish light, letters appeared between the black lines.
The notebook held more memories than recorded. Above the letters, between the margins and the empty spaces were those memories that my father wanted to forget, things he didnât want to remember but were left behind. The indentations of writing once the colour faded remained started to whirl underneath my fingertips were his struggles and fears, despair that he couldnât overcome and his weak hopes. My fatherâs wounded soul remains here, right in this note.
As I closed the notebook, tears streamed down my eyes. I sat down there for a while and turned my head to my sleeping friends. One by one, I threw them away. Anyway, I donât know when we would even return here. Here is our beginnings, I knew that when we are together, it is meaningful and when are together, we can smile happily, My first mistake, one that I never acknowledged by my mouth would remain as an open wound.
I thought that this isnât just a coincidence. In the end, maybe I had to come to this place. And so, in the meantime, only then would I be able to find the meaning behind my mistakes, the pain and anxiety that we suffered as a result. For the first time, I was able to take a first step to find the map of my soul.
anyway, based on these notes, it seemed as though Seokjin accidentally found the notebook later on in the year where the boys have all separated. how they met each other, i am not too sure.Â
this could possibly be when Seokjin met up with Namjoon unexpectedly at the gas station in April YEAR 22. moving forward, in the next month, Jungkook ends up at the hospital etc based on these notes.Â
Jungkook
22 May YEAR 22
I thought my body was floating but in no time, it met the hard ground. For some time, I couldnât feel anything. My entire body was so heavy that I couldnât bear it, I couldnât even lift my eyelids up. I couldnât swallow or breathe either. As my senses dispersed, my surroundings became dim.
Then, something startled that caused my whole body to jolt spasmodically. In the agony and thirst of wherever the source was, I opened my eyes unknowingly. My vision was strained since it was covered by sand, yet within my view, something glimmered. I thought it was fire but it wasnât. It was brightly lit yet faint, not moving at all in the air. It gradually took on a definite shape after some time. It was the moon.
The world was upside down as if my head broke. In that world, even the moon was upside down. I tried to cough to catch my breath but nothing moved. Suddenly, a chill came over me. I moved my mouth but no words ever came out. I didnât close my eyes, but the world gradually became dark in front of me. As my senses became more weak and faded, someone spoke within a distance.
âLiving is more painful than dying, but even so, do you want to live?â
to say, that a few months later on, on the 3 August YEAR 22, Seokjin and the boys met up again, and this time possibly to a place which they knew existed during their school days to which Seokjin stumbled upon his father's diary that held the same mistakes as him.Â
this would be similar to the BTS Begins VCR in which the boys are seen to have gathered again, and the fact that this is where people begin to notice that Seokjin is wearing an earpiece, much like how Seokjin is telling the principal about the boys.Â
possibly, with Seokjin finding this book, he realises he is walking the same path as his father and he wants to not repeat the same mistakes again.
but weâll see later on, it seems like an endless cycle.Â
[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
overall: so this theory is going to explain the relationship between Jimin and Yoongi and not the conventional Yoongi and Jungkook and Hoseok and Jiminâs pairings that we have come to know throughout the HYYH series.Â
warnings: mentions of death, abandonment, suicide, self-harm, demoralisation etc, please read with care
â theory masterlistÂ
theory: basically, throughout the HYYH series, Yoongi and Jimin were seen to be of complete opposites. this could be seen in I Need U, I Need U JP, Fake Love, Fake Love Extended Version.Â
Yoongi - fireÂ
Jimin - water
by nature, they would have repelled each other, hence the default pairings would have been Yoongi and Jungkook and then Jimin and Hoseok.Â
of course, everyone would have assumed that these were the pairings until the concept photos of Wings came out and everyone was surprised with the pairings.Â
naturally, with Yoongi and Jimin being opposites, they would have been paired together.Â
but this could be seen in the Love Yourself: Tear; HYYH the Notes, O Version.
Yoongi
19 September YEAR 16Â
The fire burned crimson red. The house that I had been living since this morning was engulfed in flames. The people I knew were running and screaming. The people in the neighbourhood walked with quick steps. I couldnât hear the entrance of the fire truck into the road. I just stopped and stood there dumbfounded. Â
It was the end of summer. Autumn was about to start. The sky was blue and the air was dry. I couldnât even think, feel or do. Yet, I could only reflect back to  âah, Momâ. The next moment, the house collapsed with a loud sound. It was engulfed in flames â no, the house that became the flames, the roof, the piallrs and even my room crumbled like a house of sand. I stood there watching it dumbfoundedly.  Someone pushed past me. I could hear the fire truck. Another person grabbed me and asked me what happened. He even looked me in the eyes while asking yet I couldnât hear anything. Â
âWho is inside?â I looked at the person confused. âIs your mom inside?â The person shook my shoulders. I didnât know what to answer. âNo, there isnât anyone inside.â âWhat do you mean?â, the neighbourhood old lady said. âYour mother? Where did she go?â âThere isnât anyone.â Even I didnât know what I was saying. Someone pushed past me again.Â
here, it shows the direct relation between Yoongi and the fire. it shows how that possibly, Yoongi could be the cause of his motherâs death as based on the Love Yourself: Her HYYH the Notes, L version of Yoongi.Â
25 June YEAR 20
I opened the door of the bottom drawer with a pop and firstly, took out the bag that was placed inside. I turned the bag inside out and a dusty piano key fell out. I threw the half-burned piano key in the trashcan and laid down on bed. The fire in my heart wouldnât cool down and so my breathing was ragged, and at some point, soot was smeared over my fingers.
After the funeral, I went back alone to the house that was set ablaze on fire. I entered my motherâs room to see the piano that was burned so badly, the shape was unrecognizable. I hesitantly sat down. I sat there for some time until the sunlight that entered through the window died down. Several keys rolled around in the last of the light. What kind of sound could be heard if I played the keys? I thought about my mother playing these keys a lot. I put one of them in my pocket and left the room.
From that moment on, 4 years has passed. The house has been quiet. Just like it was meant to be quiet. It was past 10 and so my father would have been asleep, afterwards everything held its breath. That was the rule of the house. It was hard for me to endure the silence. it also wasnât easy to keep up with the stipulated times, regulations and forms. No matter how you looked at it, it was hard to be patient. Nevertheless, I couldnât stand living in this house. After receiving pocket money from my father, eating with him, I got scolded by him. Rather than not talking to my father and go astray, I lacked the courage to abandon him and the house, to make freedom into reality and not just in words.
I suddenly rose up from bed. I pulled out the piano key from the desk with a tissue paper. I opened the window and the night air rushed in. The wind that came in slapped me with the strength of whatever happened today. I threw the piano key in the air. Today I havenât gone to school for 3 or 4 days. I heard the news of getting expelled. Now, I donât know if I want to be kicked out of the house. I listened hard but I couldnât hear the keys hitting the ground. No matter how much I have been thinking about it, I couldnât imagine the sound the piano key would have made. No matter how much time has passed, the piano key would never make a sound again. I will never play the piano again.
in conclusion, with this traumatic experience of Yoongi during his adolescent years, this led him to think that he brings none other than unhappiness and misfortune, hence everyone should stay away.
this would be confirmed by his Love Yourself Poster. ( full translations here )
the translations for this means : âdonât come near to me, you'll be unhappyâ.Â
this could also be seen in the Love Yourself Tear: HYYH the Notes, Y version.Â
Yoongi
15 June YEAR 22Â
IÂ wasnât aware of what is happening but just the sound of music playing in my head. No matter how much alcohol I drink, or where I am, what I am doing is more important. If you want to know, it isnât important. With faltering steps, I went out into the night. Just walking among the dust. Be it on the street, the street stall or the wall, I hit it. It didnât matter. I just wanted to forget everything. Â
Jiminâs voice was still ringing in my ears. âHyung. Itâs Jungkook.â The next thing I remembered was going up the stairs in the hospital as if I was mad. It was a dark and weird pathway towards the north of the hospital. People who were wearing patient gowns walked past. My heart was racing. Everyoneâs faces were pale. They had no facial expression. They all seemed as though they were dead. In my head, my breathing became more ragged. Â
I opened the door of the ward where Jungkook was lying down in slightly. I, myself, donât know why but I turned my head away with a jerk. I couldnât look at him. In that moment, I could hear the sounds of the piano, fire, the collapse of the building into pieces. I couldnât even stick it up for him. I then thought,âIt was because of me. If I wasnât there, this wouldnât have happened.â It was my motherâs voice, no, my voice, no, it was anybodyâs voice. I couldnât say anything during that painful time. I didnât want to believe it. But then, Jungkook was lying down there. He was lying down with patients who looked dead passing by. I just couldnât go inside. I couldnât even confirm it. When I stood, my legs wanted to give up. I left with tears streaming down my face. I forced myself to laugh. I couldnât even remember the last time I cried. Â
As I crossed the pedestrian crossing, someone grabbed my arm and I stopped. Who was it? No, it didnât matter. Whoever it was, it was all over. âDonât come to my side. Go. Please just throw me away. I also donât want to hurt you. I donât want to be hurt. And so, please donât come near me.â
here, Yoongi blames himself for what happened to Jungkook, hence confirming his worst fears. not just his family he brings misfortune, but basically to those he loves.Â
as for Jimin, based on the Love Yourself Tear: HYYH the Notes, Y version, the relation of Jimin and water.Â
Jimin
4 July YEAR 22Â
By the time I came back to my senses, I washed my arm so much that I was losing skin. My hands trembled and I was out of breath. Blood ran down my arm. Looking at the mirror, my eyes were bloodshot. The incident came back to my in fragments. Â
In that moment, I lost my focus. It was during the dance when I wanted to match the dance with Noona from a dance club that I lost my flow and collided into her. I fell to the rough floor and my arm started to bleed. I suddenly remembered what happened at the flower arboretum. I thought I had overcome it. But then, that wasnât the case. I only ran away. I had to wash it away. I had to look away. The me in the mirror was the same 8-year old me who ran away in the rain. Then I realized it. Noona fell down as well. Â
There wasnât anyone in the practice room. I saw the door open ajar with the rain falling outside. I could see Hoseok hyung running. The rain was pouring onto him. I ran after them with an umbrella. I ran. In the end, I stopped and stood there. I couldnât do anything. All I could was fall and hurt someone, leave them behind with a part of my pain and then run after them too late before stopping. I turned around. Every time I took a step, rain water soaked my sneakers. Car headlights passed me. I wasnât okay. No, I am fine. I wasnât in pain. This much isnât an injury. I was really fine.Â
this could also be seen in the O version of Jimin.Â
6 April YEAR 11Â
I stood alone at the flower arboretum. Though the weather was bit cold, I felt great. My mother and father were busy on picnic day. At first, I was a disappointed. But at the flower drawing contest, I was praised by my friendâs mother who said âWow, Jimin is so mature.â From then on, I started to feel that I was cool. Â
âJimin-ah, wait here. Teacher will come soon. When the picnic day ended, my teacher asked me this but I didnât wait. I walked with confidence alone. With both hands, I held onto the straps of my backpack and walked with dignity. It seemed as though others were looking at me, and so I spread my shoulders wider. Rain began to pour then. My friends and their mothers left, no one was looking for me and my legs began to hurt. I covered my head with the backpack and crouched underneath a tree. The rain began to pour even more, yet no one was passing by. Eventually, I started to run in the rain. I couldnât see any houses or stores. In the end, I ended up at the back gate of the flower arboretum. The side door was open and I could see a storage room of some sort through it.Â
here, Jimin has been frequently related to the element of water but now in terms of rain especially in the highlight reel and also the flower arboretum.Â
i have a feeling that Jimin getting lost caused possibly his teacher to die, considering that it was a traumatic experience for him. in here, it seems as though Jimin was fine getting lost but something else bigger must have triggered him to not want to go to the flower arboretum at all - possibly someoneâs death.Â
but moving on, the relationship between Yoongi and Jimin could be seen in the Love Yourself Tear: HYYH the notes, Y version specifically at the flower arboretum, the same one throughout the Wings especially in Jiminâs short film: Lie  up till now.Â
Yoongi
12 June YEAR 19Â
I just recklessly left school though I have nowhere to go. The day was hot, I had no money, I had nothing to do. Namjoon was the one who suggested going to the beach. The younger brothers seemed excited but I wasnât in the mood. âDo you have money?â At my question, Namjoon made them shake to shake their pockets. A few pennies, a few bills. We couldnât go. The only person who suggested to go there by walking was Taehyung. Namjoon made a face to reconsider however everyone was minding their own business, talking, laughing and rolling on the floor before actually walking on the road. I wasnât feeling to talk back, so I fell behind. The sun shone brightly. It was noon and the ginko trees couldnât provide shade as cars kicked off the dust as they passed us on the sidewalkless road. Â
âLetâs go over there.â This time it was Taehyung who said it. Or was it Hoseok. I didnât really care so I didnât really look carefully, but it would be either of them. I walked with my head down, kicking the dirt until I collided nearly into someone did I lift my head up. Jimin stood there as though rooted in the ground. His face showed that he was afraid, as though there was something scary that his muscles were trembling. âAre you okay?â Â I asked though it fell on deaf ears. Jimin then saw a sign that said a flower arboretum that was 2.2km away.Â
âI donât want to walk.â I heard Jungkook say. Jiminâs face was covered in sweat. His face became pale within a while. âWhat is this?â I felt that it was weird. âPark Jimin.â Of course, he didnât move an inch when I called him. I lifted my head and looked again at the sign. Â
âYa, the day is hot but why go to this arboretum. Letâs go to the sea.â I said while trudging my feet. I donât know what exactly the flower arboretum is but I didnât want to go there. I didnât know the reason but Jiminâs eyes were weird. âWe donât have enough money.â I told Hoseok who answered, âThatâs why we are walking.â Taehyung added, âIf we walk all the way to the train station, it would be enough.â Namjoon said, âInstead, we would be starving for dinner.â Jungkook and Taehyung pretended to cry while Seokjin laughed. Jimin began to move again once we began to take the road towards the train station. As I turned my head past my shoulders, I could see that Jimin was still a small kid. I looked up again at the sign. Flower arboretum, those five letters gradually becoming further and further away.Â
among all the boys, only Yoongi was the one who managed to figure out that Jimin was triggered by it, possibly because for Yoongi, he is triggered by fire.Â
this is where Yoongi notices that Jimin has some sort of fear and trauma upon seeing the sign of the flower arboretum being 2.2km away.
Jimin
19 May YEAR 22
In the end, we went to the flower arboretum. I lied that I donât remember what happened at that place but I had to quit lying. I had to stop hiding in the hospital and having seizures. If I wanted to do that, I had to go to that place. With that in mind, I went to the bus stop every day yet I couldnât ride the bus to go to the flower arboretum. Â
Yoongi hyung came and sat down next to me after 3 buses passed by. I asked him what he was up to, but he shrugged and said that he was bored and had nothing to do. Then he asked why was I sitting here. I lowered my head and kicked the dirt with my shoes. I asked myself why was I sitting here in the first place. I had no courage. Now I wanted to be fine, I wanted to pretend that I knew a bit, to surpass it on my own, yet in reality, I was afraid. I was scared that I might see something, I couldnât withstand against it, that I might have another seizure. Â
Yoongi hyung looked relaxed.
here, based on Jiminâs notes of the Y version, it seemed as though Jimin picked up the fact that Yoongi knows about his fear of the flower arboretum. not to mention as though that Yoongi wishes to help Jimin overcome his fear hence sitting next to him at the bus stop.Â
this is how Yoongiâs and Jiminâs pairing came about with their mutual sharing of fears in their past years and Yoongi aims to be with Jimin throughout. this secret that they kept among themselves, maybe this was their mutual truth untold.Â
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š
overall: okay, so you know how the protocol for comeback was last time, usually only having one teaser then the whole album preview but with the recent Love Yourself Her album, it seemed as though they changed the comeback protocol a bit by having 2 teasers this time round. hence, continuing the Love Yourself series- this time with the album Tear - they are doing it again, this the teaser 1 of fake love.
warnings: mentions of death, violence, might be triggering, please read with care
â theory maserlistÂ
theory: remember how i did the magic shop theory a while ago after reading the book, it seems as though bangtan has made this book their main motif just like how they did with Demian by Hermann Hesse for Wings, specifically BST. so, you may want to read my Magic Shop Theory for it to make more sense.Â
so now, the teaser is only less than 2 mins long ( specifically 1:54 ) inclusive of the 8 seconds intro of bighit. of course, being a teaser, the song wonât be so explicitly shown so much, just enough for you to want more ( which is what they did towards the end ?? )
now, usually bangtanâs teasers are usually less than a minute because often they dive straight into the title track itself. however, with this teaser of fake love, itâs longer because of the story plot thatâs inside as well; the story plot that is connected to Wings short stories ( all 7 of them from Begin, Lie, Stigma, First Love, Reflection, MAMA and Awake ) and highlight reel 辡ćżč˝çľ.
so, the teaser starts off with this screen that says âmagic shop is a psychodramatic technique that exchanges fear for a positive attitudeâ.
psychodramatic is a common technique used by therapists.
psychodrama is an action method, often used as a psychotherapy, in which clients use spontaneous dramatization, role playing, and dramatic self-presentation to investigate and gain insight into their lives.
In a session of psychodrama, one client of the group becomes the protagonist, and focuses on a particular, personal, emotionally problematic situation to enact on stage. A variety of scenes may be enacted, depicting, for example, memories of specific happenings in the client's past, unfinished situations, inner dramas, fantasies, dreams, preparations for future risk-taking situations, or unrehearsed expressions of mental states in the here and now
Reference
but moving on, the main thing to focus here is the fact that it exchanges fear for a positive attitude. in a way here, it can also be interpreted as though they exchanged their tears to someone elseâs happiness, much like in the story of the Ones who walk away from Omelas which ill explain later.Â
see, later on in the video, it reveals as though all of the boys have gone to the magic shop to exchange their fear for a positive attitude. the magic shop is meant to be a place in which people can sort of buy different characteristics but also give up those that are harmless or useless. basically, it is a place where one needs to give up something in order to grow.Â
so, most of the boys have gone to the magic shop, as if like this mysterious pawn shop, not gonna lie, to exchange something.
it starts off with Seokjin then followed by Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon , Yoongi and lastly Jungkook.Â
based on these scenes, it could be safe to say that most of the boys exchanged items from their Wings short films yet with some semblance of hints from other mvs as well that are part of the HYYH timeline such as the Prologue and Run to items seen in the love yourself highlight reels.
letâs look at what the boys exchanged.Â
Seokjin - the earpiece seen in Awake to most likely Smeraldo flowers.
Yoongi - the metronome that he most likely uses while playing the piano to a lollipop that indicates the start of his smoking habits.
Hoseok - the snickers bar in short film mama to a birthday cake, possibly the same one in the highlight reel.
Namjoon - the shard of glass with the words seen in the prologue to a black hair tie.
Jimin - the photo of the trees painting seen in his lie short film to an umbrella.
Taehyung - he exchanged something, possibly his spray paint cans to a bag tied with a bandana
Jungkook exchanged nothing but got a box with a key.
now, see that they exchanged these items, but one would realize how that these fears that were meant to be exchanged for a positive attitude doesnât seem like it always would be one. in a way, what they expected was a positive attitude but clearly itâs not as seen in the highlight reels. yet interestingly, Jungkook didnt have an item to exchange, he actually exchanged himself, as a way, he sacrificed himself. ( ill bring this idea back again later on )
now, hereâs why all the the items that exchanged for to this positive attitude didnt even help them at all.Â
Seokjin exchanged his earpiece for Smeraldo flowers.
but one would see later on in the highlight reel, that same bouquet of flowers caused the death of the girl. somehow the death of the girl, triggered the whole house of cards to fall.Â
which is why, the next part of the highlight reel, Seokjinâs narration says this.Â
âThe glorious world right in front of me. My lies were at the bottom of that. All of these dreams would fall with a single breeze.â
this shows how easy these fake memories would shatter, how fragile they are. just like the collapse of the house of cards in Run. and the fact is, they knew very well, that they were all lies, but still continued as if they weren't.Â
moreover, the Smeraldo flowers means the âtruth i couldnât tellâ.
yet, maybe Seokjin received these flowers as a way to turn back time since based on his Love Yourself posters, they translate as such. ( Â full translations here )
âIf i could turn back time, i would want to be a good person.â
âIf i could turn back time, i would want to go back to the summer sea.â
in this highlight reel narration of his, Seokjin says this.Â
âIf we can turn back time, where would we go? If we arrive there, will we be able to straighten out our mistakes and wrongdoings and therefore, be happy?â
as if here, Seokjin says even if there is the chance to turn back time, how sure are they that in the end they would be happy?Â
see, Seokjin wants to go back in time to try and save everyone just like in Euphoria, but in the end, he sacrificed himself to save Taehyung but Jimin is left to suffer. hence in a way, regardless, Seokjin cannot save everyone.
at the same time, the Smeraldo flowers are a symbol of his guilt and conscience, his lies that he kept within, its eating him alive.Â
how he had the earpiece to spy on the boys since the Skool Luv Affair era, as seen in the earlier concert vcrs together with how in the HYYH: the notes L version, the principal has been asking Seokjin to report to him anything etc. so, the whole time, Seokjin was being used to monitor and spy on the boys; often reporting their actions etc. Seokjin was a traitor at the very core.Â
Seokjin
2 March YEAR 19Â
I followed my father into the principalâs office where it smelt damp. it has been 10 days since I came back from America. Based on the different school system, I heard that I will be entering one year later. âPlease take care of my son.â My father placed his hand on my shoulders to keep me from moving. âThe school is a dangerous place. There is a need for regulations.â The principal looked straight at me. As he talked, the wrinkled flesh around his cheeks and mouth sagged, and the interior of his lips was dark red. âDonât you think so, Seokjin?â I was startled at the abrupt question and my father put in more strength in his hand on my shoulder. The grip was strong enough to make the veins pop out on his neck. âI believe you will do well.â The principal looked at me with such tenacity while my fatherâs hand on my shoulder gradually increased in strength. My shoulder felt it would break from how tightly my fatherâs grip was on me. My body was trembling and I broke into cold sweat. âYou must always talk to me. I think you will be a great student, Seokjin.â The principal looked at me with an unsmiling face. âYes.â I could barely squeeze out an answer, I wanted to disappear at that moment. I could hear my father and principalâs laughter. I couldnât lift my head. I just stared at my fatherâs brown shoes and the black shoes of the principal. I didnât know where the shining light was coming from. I was scared of that light.Â
his fear was that he couldnt tell the truth of his identity, and the fact that the last line of the L version mentions the âshining lightâ and that he was scared of it; often many perceives this to be a form of truth, that the truth would prevail.Â
The same is true of truth and light. At one end, the end of expression, it is truth, which means reality or realization. At the other end, the source, it is light. When we are holding the truth, by implication we are also holding the light.....To be in the light means that we have the source of truth or reality.
Reference
Seokjin was scared that the truth would come out and hence resulting to having those Smeraldo flowers being delivered etc, because they mean the truth that he couldnt tell. it seems as though his fear hasnât left him at all despite it being âexchangedâ. it only became aggravated.Â
Yoongi exchanged the metronome to a lollipop.Â
remember in the I Need U theory; how lollipops are used commonly in anime to depict the cigarette. ( and this would tie in with the HYYH: the notes L version ).
Yoongi
8 June YEAR 22
I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word âDreamâ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didnât fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasnât in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt. Â
I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had âDreamâ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.
which later on explain how those cigarettes were taken away from Yoongi- kinda leaving him bare. however later on in the notes of the L version, it seems as though Yoongi attended the funeral of his mother, his mother who taught him the piano. Hence, he traded the fear of the fear of losing someone so important; giving up the metronome to signify the end of the days of him playing the piano to the lollipop which would only exacerbate his current delinquent life as one would see in the highlight reel, that his juvenile days only extended, with him quitting high school, stopped playing the piano, picked up the habit of smoking etc often got drunk as well etc.Â
This could be seen in the HYYH: the notes, L version.
Yoongi
25 June YEAR 20
I opened the door of the bottom drawer with a pop and firstly, took out the bag that was placed inside. I turned the bag inside out and a dusty piano key fell out. I threw the half-burned piano key in the trashcan and laid down on bed. The fire in my heart wouldnât cool down and so my breathing was ragged, and at some point, soot was smeared over my fingers.
After the funeral, I went back alone to the house that was set ablaze on fire. I entered my motherâs room to see the piano that was burned so badly, the shape was unrecognizable. I hesitantly sat down. I sat there for some time until the sunlight that entered through the window died down. Several keys rolled around in the last of the light. What kind of sound could be heard if I played the keys? I thought about my mother playing these keys a lot. I put one of them in my pocket and left the room.
From that moment on, 4 years has passed. The house has been quiet. Just like it was meant to be quiet. It was past 10 and so my father would have been asleep, afterwards everything held its breath. That was the rule of the house. It was hard for me to endure the silence. it also wasnât easy to keep up with the stipulated times, regulations and forms. No matter how you looked at it, it was hard to be patient. Nevertheless, I couldnât stand living in this house. After receiving pocket money from my father, eating with him, I got scolded by him. Rather than not talking to my father and go astray, I lacked the courage to abandon him and the house, to make freedom into reality and not just in words.
I suddenly rose up from bed. I pulled out the piano key from the desk with a tissue paper. I opened the window and the night air rushed in. The wind that came in slapped me with the strength of whatever happened today. I threw the piano key in the air. Today I havenât gone to school for 3 or 4 days. I heard the news of getting expelled. Now, I donât know if I want to be kicked out of the house. I listened hard but I couldnât hear the keys hitting the ground. No matter how much I have been thinking about it, I couldnât imagine the sound the piano key would have made. No matter how much time has passed, the piano key would never make a sound again. I will never play the piano again.
Hoseok exchanged the snickers bar which was seen in the MAMA short film to get a birthday cake.Â
somehow this cake triggered Hoseokâs past to which his mother abandoned him at the amusement park which was seen in the highlight reel.Â
maybe his mother also abandoned him on his birthday hence triggering him to have his Munchausen syndrome to be worse.
Munchausen syndrome, is a type of mental illness in which a person repeatedly acts as if he or she has a physical or mental disorder when, in truth, he or she has caused the symptoms. Munchausen syndrome is a mental illness associated with severe emotional difficulties.Â
Reference
this Munchausen syndrome could be seen in his short film of MAMA, when one of the doctors was observing him etc.Â
his fear of abandonment becomes even more prominent later on when one would see that in the Highlight reel, the girl was in a matter of life or death and that Hoseok even sacrificed himself running in the rain to save her, much like she may not even survive hence possibly abandoning Hoseok yet again. not to mention that maybe this girl was the one who filled the empty void of Hoseok in which his own mother should have given love and attention from the very beginning. hence Hoseok has this sense of attachment to her.Â
Namjoon exchanged a shard of glass that had the same words as in Prologue ( You Must Survive ) to a black hair tie -the same hair tie seen in the highlight reels
Namjoon has troubles of accepting himself, in a way he has a fear of facing himself, which is why when he sees his own reflection on the shard of glass; much like the one seen in the Yoongi Run JP. MV - he is quick to surrender it to the magic shop.Â
interesting that even on that piece of glass, he still has it written that he must survive. a constant reminder that he needs to live with himself; despite the fact that he cant accept himself.Â
however, one could also consider this point of view, in which, Namjoon had a fear of his words being disappeared, in a way that he is being forgotten in terms of his speech.
often, it is seen as though Namjoon kept on writing reminders on mirrors of having to survive. he wanted to constantly remind them to keep holding on. Â
he has been doing so since in the Prologue etc and even in the HYYH: the Notes, L version.
Namjoon
15 May YEAR 20
As I walked across the storage classroom that became a hideout for those of us who had nowhere to go, I set a few chairs straight. I wiped away the dust off the fallen desk with my palm while I was at it. Endings make people emotional. Today is the last day I go to school. It has been decided 2 weeks earlier that we would move. I didnât know if I could possibly return. I wasnât sure if I could see my hyungs or younger brothers.
I folded a piece of paper in half and placed it on a desk, I even got a pencil out but I didnât know what words to leave behind, and so I let time pass. While I was scribbling useless words, my pencil lead snapped with a sound. âYou have to keep livingâ on the paper with the marks of the graphite lead that I had scribbled with realizing. In between the black dust powder and scribbles were stories of poverty, parents, dongsaengs and moving.
I crumpled the paper and placed it in my pocket and then I stood. I pushed the desk away and the dust rose. As I began to leave, I blew onto the dirty window and wrote three characters. No goodbye would ever be enough yet no matter what I say, it would be conveyed as ââLetâs see each other againâ. More than it being a promise, it was just a wish.
though Namjoon likes to write these on temporary things, in which they could easily disappear, he was very quick to actually surrender it.Â
Jimin exchanged the photo of the trees in the painting labelled Flower Arboretum to an umbrella.Â
Reference
interesting, one of the popular ones when you search this on Google is Yangpyeong Wild Flower Arboretum ( ěí ë¤ę˝ě몊ě )Â
His fear of being cooped up in hospitals and loneliness to one of jealousy as one would see in the highlight reels. easily being jealous of hoseok and of the girl. later on seen in the HYYH: the notes, L version.Â
Jimin
3 July YEAR 22
In the end, I sprawled onto the floor. I turned off the music and my surroundings went quiet, all I could hear was the beating of my heart. I pulled out my hand phone and played the choreography dance video that I had learned in the morning. Hyungâs movements were so smooth and accurate in the video. Â That was the result of his countless hours and sweat of practicing, and now since I wasnât anywhere near as him, I was jealous. However, understanding and hoping are different and so I sighed often. Again I stood up. I imitated the turn as he had done it but I kept twisting my steps. I kept on making mistakes at the parts where we have to match the flow. We decide to match again tomorrow but until then I wanted to be seen as serious. Rather that a playful phrase, I wanted to be complimented as âbetter than expectedâ, I wanted to be recognized as someone who was equal and serious, one that could match with hyung.
Jimin
28 September YEAR 20
I stopped counting the days since I was hospitalized. Counting is something you would do when you want to get out or there is hope of getting out. The trees and leaves were far outside the window and based on the clothes of people, I think that not much time has passed. At most, a month tops. Sometimes I see myself wearing the uniform though it was nothing special. Â Maybe it was because of the medicine, everything looked boring and dull. Â But today was a special day. The kind of day you write in a diary. However, I didnât have one and I didnât want the problems that come with writing in one. Today was the first time I lied. I looked at the doctorâs eyes and pretended to be gloomy. âI donât remember anything.â
hence, remember in Euphoria, Hoseok eventually left Jimin to save Taehyung, same thing. especially how in MAMA, Hoseok still sees Jiminâs tree painting.Â
Jimin afterwards was lonely, and his illness started to exacerbate, even more seen in Euphoria, in which Jimin runs around the cafeteria as if the boys were all there when they aren't. even more so, when getting the umbrella, as seen in the highlight reel, he still gets wet, as if under the pouring rain, the umbrella did nothing to shield his pain since after all, his reality never changed.
Taehyung exchanged something to get the bag possibly the same girl who stole in the convenience store and even took notice of Taehyungâs vandalism efforts who later joined him as well.
this could be seen in the HYYH: the notes, L version.Â
Taehyung
25 June YEAR 22
I deliberately delayed my steps as I sensed to the small steps that was following me. This was the 3rdtime already at the convenience store. If there was something different, it was that today they ran away when they saw me. They hung around a vacant spot behind the convenience store but as I turned up, they hid themselves again. They hid themselves well but their shadows were reaching to the front of the store. I let out a laugh. I pretended that I didnât see but they began to follow me.
I entered a narrow alley. This is the only place in the neighbourhood without a broken streetlamp. The alley was long and the streetlamp was somewhere in the middle with my shadow stretching. The shadow now stretches behind me. It could have been stretching all the way to the person who was following me with ragged breath. I started walking a little bit faster. As I passed the streetlamp, my shadow disappeared beneath my feet. Not long after, a shadow that wasnât mine appeared on the cement floor. I stopped walking and so did the movements. The two shadows of different heights stopped side by side.
I said, âIâm going to wait until you come here.â The shadow behind me leaped out of shock. Then it became still as if it wasnât here. âI can see everything.â I pointed to the shadow. The footsteps became nearer and deliberately were noisy. I laughed.
so it seems as though this girl has appeared yet again in the HYYH: the notes.Â
for some reason, i have a feeling that Taehyung fears to be his father, i mean this could possibly be wrong; but i am trying to link the HYYH: the notes, V version here yet again.Â
Taehyung
22 May YEAR 22
I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldnât eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldnât be able to see me when he passed by. âHeâs only one year younger than me. No, I donât really care. Anyway, Iâm not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.â
Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldnât contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my fatherâs blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.
this is especially so since in these notes, it is known that Taehyung has quite the temper and anger management issues, but the breaking point of it is when he stood up to his father but ended up murdering him. Taehyung eventually became what he feared - being the man who resort to violence, with the blood of his father flowing through his veins. he exchanged it for the bag that was seen in the highlight reel yet again.Â
interestingly, Jungkook exchanged himself to get a key - a key in a pretty glass box, much like Jungkook has been offered Pandoraâs Box.Â
Pandora's box is an artifact in Greek mythology connected with the myth of Pandora in Hesiod's Works and Days. The container mentioned in the original story was actually a large storage jar but the word was later mistranslated as "box". In modern times an idiom has grown from it meaning "Any source of great and unexpected troubles", or alternatively "A present which seems valuable but which in reality is a curse"
Reference
now, the reason why i say it is Pandoraâs box is because of the fact that Jungkook would soon find out all bad things that surrounds them and the boys as he unlocks the door.Â
see, Jungkook also had a fear, he had a fear of losing the boys, his brothers. from his own solo song, his love for them has been clearly established.Â
I feel like Iâm going to die when hyung is sad
When hyung is in pain, it hurts more than when Iâm in pain
Reference: Colour Coded Š
hence, he wanted his brothers to happy and so he would do anything for them, even if it meant sacrificing himself.
hence, without any item to offer, he offered himself as a representation of his own fear. now why do i say this?Â
asides from the fact that he didn't exchange anything, see, remember how i brought up the whole Omelas kid in the Euphoria theory, what if, all along Jungkook was the Omelas kid after all?
notice how when he entered the room that he unlocked, he was in tattered clothes, much like the boy/girl in the story of The Ones who walk away from Omelas. remember how Omelas was a city in which despite all the happiness, wealth, luck and good there, only one person in the basement is suffering; and now that is none other than Jungkook.Â
Jungkook entered a room with 6 clothe stands. one to represent each of the boys.Â
in front of him is a man in a black cloak and wearing a mask - possibly the same mask of the magic owner and the same on in Singularity and possibly none other then Kim Taehyung.Â
linking this back to my Taehyung and Hoseok Theory, Â and also of Jungkookâs HYYH the notes extended theory, and of Singularity Theory, Taehyung is the one that told Jungkook that last line of his notes.Â
âLiving is more painful than dying, but even so, do you still want to live?â
i have already established that Taehyung could possibly be the devil since who in the right frame of mind actually encourages suicide, which in a way only triggered the whole domino effect of one by one - the boys would take their own lives after Taehyung as seen in the HYYH timeline.Â
however, i would also want to bring across the fact that Taehyung could also possibly be the owner of the magic shop, with how his mask fits everything in Singularity etc, so in a way, Taehyung would have known the fates of each go the boys, but yet he still gives them this fictional choice of actually exchanging traits or their fears to their happiness etc.Â
this is especially so with how Jungkook entered the room to find 6 bare clothe stands. remember how in Spring Day and highlight reel, there was this whole changing of clothes and washing machine aesthetic?
so to tie it in, with how the magic shop works, by right, there were supposed to received something positive but in the end, their realities either remained the same or worse. just like by changing clothes, the fates of the boys change even if it is one measly top.Â
think of this analogy, if one person wears this shirt, the vibe of someone else wearing the exact same shirt is different, even if the difference is insignificant.Â
hence, the whole washing machine aesthetic in which they constantly change the clothes to put it on other members and why there is this huge pile of clothes in Spring Day shows the many possibilities; such as Seokjin in the highlight reel.
as such, the magic shop only exchanged these fears, but they dont guarantee that it would be positive in the long run. hence, the magic shop only removed those painful memories temporarily to give them fake ones in the form of this love relationships with girls, hence fake love.Â
the magic shop only provided a coping mechanism to deal with their fears, an escape from their cruel and brutal reality, even accepting the fake love to make them forget the pain.Â
later, we see again in the higlight reel at 5:20 the importance of Seokjinâs narration.Â
âEven if these moments are a lie, I want to stay here.â
it shows that even if these moments are fake, it made the boys happy temporarily at least and they are more than willing to be delusional for these moments.Â
however, the ending of the highlight reel is what sums up this whole Love Yourself series.Â
âEventually I have to face. Loving without being afraid. Saying goodbye to hesitancy. Living as myself.â
and overall, to love theirselves. this is especially so since in the highlight reel, Seokjin says this.Â
âWith myself, I wasn't confident in being loved.â
this is to say that this whole series is meant to heal them, in accepting all their traits and fears and to love themselves in the end.Â
[Photo Source] Bighit EntertainmentÂ
Credits: maxine âď¸ DO NOT REPOST Š