#fafnerweek2017

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She had asked for ice cream, and while Soushi thought that was a rather simple request, now that they sat in the Alvis cafeteria he felt somehow bothered. Watching Tsubaki happily enjoy the small carton's contents, it occurred to Soushi that she had probably never had ice cream.

"Is it good?" He asked before taking a sip of the can of coffee he had. Had it even been 48 hours since she had left the Coacula? It still felt somehow unreal to have her sitting there across the table, but at the same time, Soushi felt better than he had for years. Perhaps it was because of her; perhaps it was because the last 48 hours had also solved a lot of his issues.

Well, outside the part where he was second-guessing his choice of location. It didn't seem to bother Tsubaki, though, and she just looked at him with a smile. "Really good," she said, picking up more ice cream with her spoon. "Why? You're afraid it isn't?"

Soushi glanced around. "It just somehow feels like the Alvis cafeteria isn't exactly the most ideal place for this. I simply wish the circumstances could be a little more..." He paused to find the right word. "Domestic?"

"No, this is fine," Tsubaki replied with a somehow meaningful look in her eyes. "This is more like you, Soushi, so I'm glad the first time we eat dessert together is here. Though next time you could take me to a cafe."

"If it doesn't ruin the experience, all right," Soushi agreed. "And if that's what you wish for. We can go to a cafe and get proper ice cream. Or why not a parfait. Whatever you want."

"Mmm. It's just one of those things I sometimes dreamed of," Tsubaki said, stopping to eat another bite of her frozen treat. "Simple things," she mused. "Like seeing the blue sky with your own eyes. How the wind feels like when it catches your hair, or what it feels like to dip your toes into the sea." Soushi nodded his head a little, listening to every word. If trying something like that was what Tsubaki wanted, he would make sure it happened. "Or having your big brother take you out for ice cream," Tsubaki added with a giggle.

Whether this location was more like Soushi's style, that decided it. "There's a cafe called Rakuen in town."

"I know," Tsubaki said with a smile.

Of course she knew; Tsubaki knew everything about the island. "Mr. Mizoguchi took over it," Soushi continued, his voice as matter-of-fact as ever. "I believe there's parfaits on the menu. We can go there tomorrow and you can eat all the ice cream you ever want."

“Hmm. That’s interesting…”

Looking up from the bacterial sample from an experiment, Kazuki made a small questioning noise. It wasn’t rare that Soushi stayed up late and kept continued communication with the astronauts (“Minashiro, don’t you have sleep to do?” Maya called out from the ARED, breaths coming in rhythmic pants) and it also wasn’t rare that he talked to them as he analyzed their gathered data, sometimes even explaining in trailing sentences as he worked. When Soushi didn’t reply to that, Kazuki finally spoke up. “What’s interesting?”

“Some data from two days ago,” Soushi said. He didn’t elaborate for another five minutes, and there was only the sounds of papers and the gentle beeps and buzzing of a pad through the speakers as Soushi did whatever he was doing on Earth. Rolling his eyes, Kazuki only shook his head and turned back to the dishes. “Ah, sorry. It’s… I’m looking through the spectroscopy data right now, and there’s…”

Kazuki hummed. “Yeah?”

“There’s an abnormally high concentration of silicon from Altair. It’s fascinating, because…”

Blinking, Kazuki jotted down more observational data from the other samples and sent them back to earth. Opening the secondary covering, he took pictures as well, absently tapping the pad and creating yet another tree of folders. Kazuki didn’t really know the usual growth rate of Klebsiella pneumoniae culture, but this wasn’t looking good. He was glad these particular superbug experiments were under strict ‘To Be Kept in Closed Environment’ orders.  “Altair? Silicon? How?”

Over the intercom, Soushi sounded distracted. “Well, that’s what we have to figure out. Given the previous limitations of our detecting devices, it’s extremely likely that we’ve missed numerous exoplanets in that region, especially if said planet is terrestrial. AZURE’s modified coronagraph is expected to spot at least a few of these undetected exoplanets. Perhaps this is one of them. Of course, this still has to go through rigorous analysis, but… very vexing, indeed.”

“Aah, I see,” was all Kazuki could offer. He’d let Soushi and other experts in the field work on it. He honestly was already having a bit of a hard time keeping up with what Soushi was saying; it was only lifelong practice that helped him right now. Well, lifelong practice and some periods of intense studying. “What do you think, though?”

“Hmm? What do I think what?”

“If it’s an abnormally high concentration of silicon, what do you think it’s all about?”

“Well… we still have to process the data, but… If I am to guess with no real weight to the claim, it could be a terrestrial planet, perhaps with silicon outer layer? It might even be earthlike.”

Kazuki laughed. “That’s a standard textbook answer if I’ve ever heard one.”

He could hear Soushi huff on the other side. “Science is not something based on mere guesswork, Kazuki. Science is based on rigorous experiments and peer-reviewed studies.”

Honestly, if he laughed any harder, Maya and Canon would hear from the other chamber. Good thing they were on maintenance duties.

“Maybe it’s aliens,” Kazuki said, grinning. “Silicon-based lifeforms. What form would they be again? I remembered someone saying something about that. Crystals? Something something not technically able to breathe oxygen, or if they do they’ll exhale crystals.”

Soushi snorted, and from the rustles of paper it seemed that he was now officially distracted from work. Kazuki would’ve felt guilty, if only it wasn’t oh, 10? 11 PM on earth. Soushi’s work hours were long past. He really should be home by now. Had he even eaten dinner yet? Oh right, he had—Kazuki almost forgot both he and Maya had “shouted” at him to get something to eat around four hours ago. Kazuki liked Maya. She was that one person he knew that consistently kept her common sense to her: eat regularly, sleep regularly, don’t do stupid things… And she was a good person, too, with a good heart and a good ear. Sometimes Kazuki wondered what led her to want to become an astronaut, of all things.

“What kind of websites have you been reading?” Soushi said, and Kazuki could imagine him crossing his arms over there. “But yes, I’d imagine they probably wouldn’t really be that well adjusted for earthen environment specifically. I’ve also read that silicon doesn’t make very stable long-chains, or at least not alone. That would make it a problem if it wants to be complex, multicellular life. And that’s without accounting information-encoding: for complex life to exist, it needs some form of DNA—something to tell the collection of molecules how to arrange itself, things like that. While we do take precautions in case of extraterrestrial lifeforms lingering on the exterior of space shuttles, it doesn’t mean that they are truly capable of invading us like in the movies.”

Kazuki laughed and hummed the theme song of that one conspiracy theories series that was always the only thing at 2 AM that wasn’t news or the 20th rerun of the same documentary. Soushi humphed. “Or in dead hour TV serials. It could still be aliens.”

“Really dumb aliens,” Soushi settled for, at last. “Worry more about those antibiotic-resistant strains in your hands, Kazuki. I’m sure humanity will be more than ready to face the silicon-based aliens… who’ll arrive most likely millions of years in the future, because they probably were the silicon-equivalent to early single-celled bacteria right now.”

Antibiotic-resistant bacteria were no joke. It was easily one of the most well-secured laboratory module in the space station, because nobody needed doubly-superpowered bacteria taking over this ominous tin can whizzing through the sky at 28,000 km/h. Without a crew, or at least life within the vessel that knew how to operate the machinery and help in refueling efforts, the space station would then fall into earth and then the bacteria would proliferate on earth, taking over, and everything would be wiped out in three years and only resistant wildlife would survive.

“For the sake of humanity, Soushi,” Kazuki said, faking seriousness, “I hope you are right. After all, true dangers don't always come from intent. Maybe they think they’re saving us from our stupidity by mind-controlling us, but meanwhile we’d be in tiny resistance-bunkers, fighting for our lives and living in fear for the next few centuries.”

“We won’t be invaded by crystalline aliens,” Soushi confirmed. “And certainly not mind-controlling ones. I think you’ve been watching too many movies.”

They were having a group study. Kenji, Sakura, Canon and Maya all gathered around the table in Rakuen.

Kazuki wasn't there because he was in a coma. Soushi was gone. Koyo was gone. Mamoru was dead. Karin was dead, and Shoko, too, was also dead. Thinking about it made Maya feel cold and alone. Almost everyone she had grown up with was gone. Kenji and Sakura were still here, though the two spent most of the time with each other since the girl woke up.

Of course… Canon existed, the former Neo U.N. soldier that went through tons of horrors and acted like it was nothing. They were training partners, because they both started piloting fafners around the same time. “You two match,” Soushi had said in his usual blank emotionless tone that irritated Maya.

At the time, she couldn't deny his assessment. She still couldn't. Maya felt drawn to the girl like a moth to a flame that burned too brightly. Forever afraid that if she got too close, she would be burned, so she drew a line but at the same time she wasn't sure where it was.

“Maya?” came Canon's voice. Canon was looking at her with a mixture of concern and curiosity. It wasn't an expression she got often. She was always the one that showed others concern and comforted them in their time of need.

“Yes?” she responded, hoping the lack of life in her voice wasn't as obvious to others as it was to herself.

“...I was wondering if you could help with this question, but are you okay?”

Maya smiled. It was weak and fake and probably the worst one she had put on since Kazuki fell into a sleep he may never wake from. “I'm fine. Thank you,” she lied.

Canon accepted her lie though. Just as she accepted everything else Maya threw at her. It was almost as if despite how quiet and socially awkward she was, the girl always had her arms open, inviting Maya to dive in and confess all her worries and troubles. It made her feel vulnerable and she hated it.

There were things Maya didn't tell her mother, and things she didn't tell her sister, but she told Canon everything for a reason she couldn't understand. Was it infatuation? Or maybe that she knew Canon's sins were so great that she couldn't and wouldn't judge her.

Maya hadn't been sure what to think of Canon until one day, she said, “If we never came to this island, would Michio still be alive?” Canon had confessed it on a dark rainy night in the comfort of Maya's arms. It was the first time she had ever seen her cry. Canon had shook and whimpered for hours. “If only I was stronger,” she had said. She was so vulnerable and weak. Hiccups between her words mixed in with choked sobs. It was the first time Maya thought ‘I want to protect this girl’. She reminded her of Shoko, if Shoko cried and was an emotionally stunted Irish child soldier. Shoko didn't cry--she never did. She just grinned and bore all her pain. Maya hated that as well.

It was something that nagged at her. What if Shoko was more honest about her pain too? What if she didn't always try to grin and bear the pain? What if she hadn't ? Maybe Kazuki wouldn't have ran away. Maybe he would have never met Canon and she would have never came to the island with Michio and Miwa wouldn't have been born.

If Canon hadn't been there to stop her from chasing after Kazuki into that worm sphere, would she have rushed to her death? Or maybe she would have been trying to stop Shoko instead. Would Koyo still be around then, if nothing ever happened to Shoko? Would it have been better if they were still here instead of Canon and Miwa?

‘No, I don't want to make that trade,’ a part of her screamed. ‘But I miss my best friend,’ another part of her yelled.

“If you could go back in time and stop all the bad things from ever happening knowing full well you would also lose some good things. Would you?” She said aloud accidentally. Her question earned her the confused stare of the other three at the table and she wondered if maybe she could play it off.

Somehow as if they had heard her thoughts, Kenji and Sakura both looked at Canon before looking back at Maya. ‘If you could get back Shoko, Koyo, Mamoru and everyone by sacrificing Canon would you?’ would be the uncensored version.

“No,” was what Kenji and Sakura both said. Canon however smiled and faintly and said, “If it would make everyone happy, that small sacrifice would be worth it.”

Her answer made Maya's already souring mood feel worse, “Forget I asked,” she said too late. The blink and knowing smile from Canon made her sick.

Maya decided that she hated what ifs. It was much easier to sink into reality and deal with the consequences then ponder things that would never come about.