#faf-thoughts

Do I have your attention? Good.

I have been observing the fandom from the background for about two months now as life has been busy. I've been reading fics in the meantime and following some of the fandom discourse, and this BWA hate is pissing me the fuck off, and honestly confusing tf out of me?

I think people can forget that these incredibly talented fandom writers are providing this beautifully curated work FOR FREE??? Like, hello? You're reading 10k-20k fics for FREE? And you're losing your mind because some people have formed a friendship over a fictional man, and like to support each other publicly, and share some of the fun they have from having such a lovely friendship over a shared interest and passion?

People who are saying 'BWA ruined the fandom' are delusional. If anything, it's breathed new life into a very old fandom! It's given space for incredibly talented writers to stretch their legs, share their art, and cheerlead one another. The amount of insanely well written fics I've found through BWA is insurmountable.

"BWA only reblog each other". First of all, this has been debunked by nearly all BWA members. Second of all, even if they are, WHO CARES? It's THEIR blog - they can reblog whoever tf they like, the same way you can. When people say this gives unfair attention to BWA writers only, here's some things to keep in mind:

Tumblr's algorithm is sort of fucked, in my opinion, and it can be hard to get notes (I understand that, really) which can be demoralising. That's not BWA's fault - that's Tumblr.

The Bucky Barnes fandom is MASSIVE. There are so many writers posting that yes, some are going to dominate and some are going to go unnoticed. Hell, I've posted Bucky fics before that I've spent a hot minute on that felt like they'd gone unnoticed. I'm not going to go pointing figures and crying about it - I'm going to crack on because them's the breaks.

This might not be easy to hear, but have you considered that you're maybe not a good writer? I'm not trying to say that from a high horse position (I'm not sitting here going 'I'm the world's best writer'), but sometimes it's reality. Writing is a craft and a skill that takes practice. I can see my growth as a writer from when I was 13 years old and first started writing, now as someone in my 20s. Hell, I can even see growth from a year or two ago when I was writing. Sometimes things we think in the moment deserve a Pulitzer are actually not that great. BWA writers are REALLY good writers - so of course they're going to get a lot of attention, because we're basically getting novels for FREE? The people who say 'BWA writers are taking away from others' genuinely make me go "babes, your insecurity is showing".

The 'anon' option gives people too much fucking gall. I have seen some disgusting, hateful, petty and presumptive things sent to these lovely BWA members. It's heart breaking. Someone was sent an anon saying "shut up and get to writing". HELLO??? THE AUDACITY?? I was actually GAPING at my phone. Here are a group of people providing you with wonderful fics and sharing their shared passion and interest, and you're spitting out your dummy and crying because they have the audacity to be FRIENDS? Gasp! God forbid! Bro - actually go touch grass.

I feel most people upset by this are either: a minor, or very young; unemployed, because GET A JOB AND A LIFE AND GET OVER IT; or just bitter and deserve to have all of their toes stubbed on a table leg.

This is just a stream of conscious but I'd feel wrong not having my opinion about this SOMEWHERE on this blog. I love the BWA writers, and the idea of BWA, and I love the non-BWA writers.

I'll leave you with this thought, if you are a BWA hater and was hoping my post would be in solidarity with you: wouldn't the world, and this fandom, be so much nicer if EVERYONE supported and loved each other, BWA or not?

This them-versus-us mentality is childish and exhausting.

To anyone in BWA who might be reading this (which I doubt), please try not to let this baseless hate get to you. It breaks my heart to see some of the things being said and sent, and I want you to know these are a noisy minority - NOT the majority.

Think I've finished my Christmas Bucky Barnes fic 'many times, many ways'. I'm going to read through it all this weekend to double check, but then that's done!

So, in this new fic I'm writing, there's a smut scene of reader and Bucky's first time together. When I planned it in my head, I imagined it as this tender, loving, soft moment. HOWEVER, as I'm writing it, it's suddenly taken a more - how should I say? - hot turn? Like soft-dom!bucky vibes. I'll still sprinkle in tender moments because of course, but...should I run with this other vibe instead?

I'm just thinking - the 'always a woman' first time together is quite tender and loving, so it might be nice to explore a different first-time dynamic.