#facial typing

I don't think the correlation is strong enough. It also doesn't take into account that some people are more aware of nonverbal communication and might move in ways that conceal their true personality. Body language is most obvious during social interaction and many people express themselves based on their social mask.

Alright!  This is Justin again.  So we’re gonna try to keep this huge, ginormo, super in-depth topic really short here (edit: ha!), because this is just sort of a preview.  But we’re still pretty excited to get to talk about subtypes here on “Phase 1!”

See, the full post about subtypes is on aLBoP Phase 2, and even that post is just the intro to the topic.  Phase 2 goes into far more depth about, well, everything!  But as you might expect, it kinda requires and presumes that you’ve already gotten familiar with everything here on the starter site.

Which, right, before I go on…  If you haven’t checked out at least the basic information here on aLBoP, I’m afraid you really should go read that before diving into this.  Watch the intro video if you haven’t already, and then get your bearings with the Super Simple Series.  Remember, aLBoP is not MBTI, so it’s probably best to go back to the start so you can get a handle on everything.

Okay!  Got that covered?  At least a bit?  Cool, so like I was saying, we go into much more depth and detail about subtypes, what they are, why they are, and how they work, on the Phase 2 site.  However, we really really want to talk about subtypes on our upcoming ~Stranger Things post~!  Also, it’s nice to be able to put people’s subtypes after their main cognitive types, partly because it immediately shows “Hey, look!  This is something different, so maybe drop your assumptions about typing at the door.”  And then, hopefully, maybe, if wishes were horses, we might get fewer people strolling in, glancing at a few pictures, and leaving a “nope that’s wrong” comment without, you know, reading stuff.  We can dream.

So on then with the subtypes crash course!  To start with, putting it simply, subtypes are kinda just what they sound like: a subset, a personal focus within each cognitive type.

There are exactly four subtypes for each and every cognitive type, because of reasons.  Very cool reasons, really neat stuff that says so much about people, the world, and intelligence itself, but that’s for Phase 2.  That’s where we talk about the How and the Why behind all kinds of things; for here, we’re just gonna focus on the basic What.

I will say, though, that the reasons there are four subtypes for each cognitive type were totally outside anything we planned or expected.  And that makes it super cool, because it ended up displaying really neat and complex patterns that we had no idea were even there!  Here, I’ll just copy some of Calise’s explanation from the old, original Phase 2 forum:

“When Justin and I began noticing how wonky the generally accepted definitions of the letters were, we realized if we wanted definitions that *always* fit for a person and didn’t change throughout your life, the definitions couldn’t be definitions of merely habits and behaviors (or even skills as the stereotypes make them out to be), but something of the same caliber as genetics that doesn’t change throughout your life.

“Though plenty of people throughout history have tried to develop and find facial typing systems, without accurate definitions of the consistent, lifelong cognition behind a face, there wasn’t much hope of demonstrating how people’s faces reflect their cognition.  Like I mentioned in What If I’m Not the Type I Thought I Was?, if people’s faces changed as often as their behaviors, they’d be like shape-shifters.

“But as soon as our patterns were consistent enough to be true throughout a person’s life, matching facial patterns began to emerge.”

Interrupting Calise for a second here.  I want to emphasize what she just said: the patterns began to emerge.  We weren’t looking for this; we didn’t expect it.  It wasn’t an “Aha!  Eureka!” moment, but rather a “Huh, that’s funny…” moment.  We weren’t expecting to find any sort of facial correlation with cognition; it just sort of came up.  Like she said, as soon as we actually got our definitions 100% consistent, reliable, and repeatable, with zero exceptions, suddenly we started seeing recurring facial structures with each different type.

Letting Calisey talk again:

“At first we just noticed little things, like Justin mentioning that SFPs’ eyes looked like they’d been popped in an oven and melted just a little bit at the corners (his words).  And I began noticing patterns in nose tips (I like noses.  In college I started a nose connoisseurs club, though we did nothing).  And for a while we thought, ‘At some point we’re actually going to have to nail these down for real.’  And at one point I did… and I had a slight nervous breakdown because it demonstrated how even close friends whom I thought I’d typed correctly I was totally wrong on.  It was a rough week and I was temporarily afraid I’d been embarrassingly wrong about *everything.*  But science had to go on!  And I learned new and useful things like how I was mistaking ESTJ and ISTJ for each other, something that in retrospect I feel like O_o at myself.

“But as we went forward to nail down and distinguish the sixteen different faces (which, boy, were we in for a treat I’ll get to in a minute), we realized that in order to be sure we had a consistent system, it had to meet certain qualifications:”  Which she went on to list, as follows.

Scientific Requirements

Facial Typing needed to work across:

Age So an ISFJ face would have to still be an ISFJ face regardless of age, from infant noob to elderly raid-boss; if a person’s facial type changed throughout their life when their cognitive type did not, then clearly that’d be a problem!

Ben Schulz (aka LEEROY JENKINS) and Jules Verne (aka 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea guy, which is cool too), both ISTP(ip)

Ethnicity So, an ISFJ face is an ISFJ face regardless of race.  It’s really awesome to see, how the same facial patterns and structures occur, in every ethnicity!  And it really blows a hole in mentalities that think any ethnicity is better, worse, or just “weird.”

Denzel Washington and Kenneth Branagh, both incredible actors, directors and ENFJ(ip)s with some serious class.

Gender Same thing: ISFJ face has to be ISFJ face regardless of gender.  Also super cool to see in practice!  The gender differences are totally there, and yet the facial type remains exactly the same.

General George Smith Patton Jr. and Madonna, both ISTJ(ej) despite their discrepancy in name-quantity, and y’know, gender.

Multiples Like twins and triplets; even identical twins don’t necessarily have the same cognitive type, so how can they be *identical* and yet have different facial types?  And yet, once you see it, you can’t unsee it.  Even “identical” twins – even *conjoined* twins – can have different facial types!

Phelps Twins, known for playing the Weasley Twins in Harry Potter: Oliver (left), INFP(ip) and James (right), ESFJ(ip)

The Hensel Twins: Abby (left), ENFP(ep) and Brittany (right), ENTJ(ij)

Weight Same thing as age; an ISFJ face has to still be an ISFJ face, no matter how gaunt or… portly.

Jorge Garcia and Colin O’Donoghue, both ESFP(ej) and studly (says Calise)

The entire population (no one is left out) A high goal, but an absolutely necessary one.  If we could find anyone, anywhere, past or present, whose face didn’t fit any of the cognitive types, then we’d have a problem.  Everybody thinks, everybody cognates, and everybody’s face matches their cognition with magnificent exactness.

Absolutely repeatable and *always* lining up with cognition and choices Now dude, this is just basic science.  When there are exceptions where a theory doesn’t always quite line up, that’s nature’s way of saying “Nice hypothesis, but give it another go.  You can do better.  I believe in you.”  We wanted to be able to use this in practice, so if we ran into any exceptions, if it ever failed to line up, even just once, with people’s actual in-practice cognition, choices, and desires, then we wouldn’t have a reliable tool.  It had to be repeatable and consistent, with no exceptions, special cases, or roundabout justifications…as fashionable as those may seem sometimes.

Okay back to Calisey again.

“But we were in for a big surprise when we tried to isolate the 16 facial types.

“One day, as Justin and I tried to nail down the faces, Justin said, (not verbatim), ‘Hey Calise, I think there may be two of every face… and I think they may line up with differences in the cognition of each of the types.’ I said, ‘No there couldn’t be.’ He said, ‘Why not?’ I said, ‘Because then I’d have to explain it to everybody!’

“But despite my fears of people crying, ‘There’s a fifth variable?!  How many are you guys going to make up??’ we pursued the data and suddenly had 32 types.  *Thankfully* (because I might have died otherwise), we discovered that while these ‘subtypes’ affect our approach to cognition, they do *NOT* affect the cognition process or order itself.  There are only 16 cognition processes after all. *whew*”

Got that?  Subtypes do not change the order of cognition steps.  They aren’t our cognition, but rather, they’re how we *approach* our cognition.  This approach is more readily seen than our underlying cognition, and people often mistake subtype for actual cognitive type without even realizing it.  Subtypes deal with our behaviors, while cognition deals with our root desires that motivate those behaviors.  So when people take a behavioral-psychology approach to cognitive variables, it makes sense that a lot of the misconceptions, simplifications, and inconsistencies that arise, are a result of mixing up type and subtype.

But again, they are not the same thing.  We explain on Phase 2 how subtype and cognition deal with entirely different areas of our minds, but for now it’s enough to say that our subtype is our behavioral approach to our cognitive type.  Our cognitive type is a result of what matters most to us, deep down.  It’s a result of what we desire most, which is a powerful reflection of who we each are, while our subtype is a result of how we approach that desire.

Okay, back to Calise, she was telling how we first noticed only two subtypes per type:

“But we noticed these two subtypes affected how each type approached their Type Angst, and the shorthand we began using was ‘That’s right I’m [Type Angst]’ vs. ‘I guess I’m [Type Angst].’  So, for ENTP, half the ENTPs would approach their Type Angst as ‘That’s right I’m bad and irresponsible!’ while the other half would approach their Type Angst as ‘I guess I’m bad and irresponsible…’

“A friend suggested we use ‘Sharp’ and ‘Flat’ as terms, like musical notes… but nobody wanted to be ‘Flat,’ including myself who would be ‘ENTP-flat’ according to that terminology.  This was followed by Justin and me coming up with V/U or ‘Venturer’ and ‘Urbane’ (which worked definitionally, but mostly we liked how the letter shapes got across the differences in attitudes).  So by that definition, approaching my Type Angst in an ‘I guess I’m…’ fashion, I would be an ENTPu.

“Of course, as is usually the case, as soon as we were getting a handle on the complex effects of V and U and recognizing both the facial structures and cognition in action… we tried to group faces into 64 folders of each type, U/V and male and female.  It was a messy, chaotic folder!  But of course nature wanted to screw with us again, so we suddenly realized there was still too much variation; distinctly twice as much, as there were two distinct faces for each V/U subtype!  We seriously considered calling them VV, VU, UV, and UU… I’m not even joking.  I thought, ‘Holy crap this is getting so bloated how am I possibly going to explain this usably?!’  There was mild panic and major grumbling; science temporarily tees me off sometimes.

“But then, one day, (I believe Justin was in our wingback chair… I want to say on the phone with someone?), I remembered how the Four Types of Information applies to ALL THE THINGS and everything clicked.  There were four subtypes of each type… maybe the world made sense after all!”

Okay, remember this was from the original Phase 2 forum.  To be brief, on Phase 2 we’ve been explaining more and more how the 4ToI do really apply to *all the things*, it’s really incredible.  Like, everything everything.  And again, it’s because of reasons, which are very cool.  A little more from Calise:

“And this, my very patient friends, is how we came to realize that not only are there 16 types with 4 subtypes each, making 64 subtypes that work brilliantly across genders, ethnicities, ages, etc., but they work *perfectly* with how each subtype approaches its Type Specialization.”

Yay!  So there’s the quick background.  Now, for the subtypes themselves.

The Subtypes

Like Calisey said, the subtypes ended up perfectly fitting the 4 Types of Information.  The implications of this are huge, but for here we’re keeping it short…ish.  When applied to subtypes, these 4ToI take the form of:

Motives and Character, and how they affect individuals: (ep) Data and Details, and the situations in which they occur: (ip) Actions and Consequences, and how they affect people as a group: (ej) Principles and Trends on a worldwide, even cosmic scale: (ij)

Each subtype approaches their cognition according to one of those four ToI.  Of course, just like with cognition, this does not limit us; rather it’s our preferred starting point.  (ip) subs will always, always, always approach their cognition in an (ip) way first, but that does not in any way prevent them from branching out to learn and gain the strengths of all the other subtypes as well.  Yet also like with cognition, when we try to force ourselves to be a different subtype without first developing our own, we tend to lose the strengths of our own sub, while gaining only the weaknesses of the sub that we’re pretending to be.  Everyone of any type or subtype can do *everything*, but only when we first come to understand, accept, and grow into the person who we’ve already always wanted to be, deep down.

This is the point of aLBoP: to help people understand themselves and others, to *remove* limits and barriers, not to place new, contrived ones.  That’s why we’re so wary of silly, insulting, ridiculous stereotypes and simplifications.  The human mind, and the human potential for growth and improvement, are far more complex than the divisive stereotypes would have you believe.  And in all that complexity, intelligence still turns out to be so astoundingly orderly and consistent in retrospect.  Not simple, not force-fit into any petty little boxes, but remarkably elegant in a magnificent consistency of complexity.

This was a quote from the original subtype post which didn’t make it here, but it’s worth sharing anyway and Calise already made the picture so…

So as we go into a quick(ish) runthrough of the basics of the four subtypes, these are not descriptions of boxes from which we can never escape.  Subtypes display our preferred approach to our behaviors, attitudes, habits, and even our talents.  They’re a part of us, but not as deep, foundational, or subconscious as our cognition; subtypes tend to be the deepest down our conscious thoughts and feelings get, which makes them much easier for people to notice than real cognitive types.

So if some of the descriptions of subtypes start to sound a bit like behavioral personality typing, that’s because it is!  Behaviors are, well, behavioral.  Most popular forms of attempted personality typing deal with behaviors, not our real cognitive types, even if they sometimes mix them up.  But that doesn’t mean that behavioral typing can’t be done right.  Now going back and using our foundation of consistent, reliable cognitive types, we can at last make a thoroughly solid exploration of behavioral subtypes!

Each of the four subtypes takes a different approach to everything.  This means that not only do people think differently from each other (cognition), but that even people who think in the same ways, with the same cognitive type, may still approach that same cognition differently!  We live in a culture where so many people imply, or outright say, “If you don’t think the way I do, then you don’t think!”  What a narrow way to limit oneself.  Yet the more we come to understand how everyone thinks, and approaches how they think, based on the same recurrent 4ToI, the more we can get out of life, the more we can be a benefit to ourselves and everyone around us, and the more we can enjoy even genuinely unhealthy people, instead of being limited to seeing only our own point of view and thinking everyone else is just dumb.

So much for a short post, lol, but still we *are* avoiding going into so much that’s best left till Phase 2.  That being said, there’s a lot that I can simply quote verbatim from the Phase 2 subtypes post.  In that post, we use the analogy of a car’s steering and pedals to describe how subtypes approach life:

“We like to think of (e) and (i) as being like the gas and brakes of a car, determining the speed of how we approach our decisions, conclusions, and everything.  (e)s are constantly observing outward while the decision-car cruises at its own speed, while (i)s pay more attention to the inside of the car, controlling the speed of decision as they choose.  This lets (e)s look out and see things that (i)s might miss, while (i)s speed up to act decisively or slow down to act more carefully as needed.

“And we like to think of (p) and (j) as being like the decision-mobile’s steering, charting a path of decisions intentionally (j) or letting autopilot take us on a tour to show us new options (p).  (p)s are able to relax and pay attention to all the many things happening outside the windows of their mind-car, while (j)s get to be more deliberate, yet also less aware of unexpected options and opportunities that pop up around the car.”

As always happens with the 4ToI, everything balances out, and we all end up needing the strengths of every other approach.  We didn’t plan for that, we didn’t force such a happy and inclusive result; it’s simply the way things apparently work.  It’s fascinating that, when people have a psychological ax to grind due to their own refusal to see outside their own way of thinking, that seems to be when they come up with pessimistic, divisive psychological ideas that suggest that some types are better, more rational, more caring, more reliable, etc etc.  Yet those sorts of theories never seem to fare well in the harsh light of results and reality.  As soon as we step back and let go of any expected result, it’s pretty cool to see how reality ends up showing that, while not everyone chooses to be healthy, every actual cognitive type and subtype is unavoidably equal with every other.  But that’s straying close to Phase 2 topics again, with how and why the 4ToI are inherently equal and unavoidable, so yeah, raincheck on that.

But now we’re finally ready to take a quick overview of each of the four subtypes!  I’m gonna start with (ep) sub, and…yeah, awesome, I think I can pretty much quote more straight from the Phase 2 post!  I’m just gonna rearrange the order of some paragraphs, and cut out references to stuff that’s covered in the Phase 2 Intro…but yeah, cool, here we go!

(ep) sub: The Natural Approach

So after we described the car analogy, where (e)s are looking out the window, observing outward while their car speeds up or slows down on its own, and (p)s let their self-driving car steer them on an unexpected, unpredictable tour of life, we put it together to get (ep) sub:

“Putting these together, (ep) subs are the most natural, and the least deliberate, of all the subtypes.  As much as Calise might complain about this, it’s a powerful advantage.  When (ep)s allow themselves to relax and be not-deliberate about the speed and subject matter of their decisions, they come to realizations and discoveries that would otherwise remain unknown.  Trading deliberate direction and speed-control for a close trust in their personal self, (ep)s of any cognitive type can approach their Type Spec in a natural, relaxed way, confident that it will lead to huge, new and unexplored vistas of their Type Spec.”

“(ep) subtypes are also the most “natural” about their approach to life.  They’re used to things coming naturally to them, in a talents-oriented way.  Yet this means that when something does not come naturally to them, it can be especially frustrating!  And since (ep)s are used to doing what comes naturally, they tend to assume that everyone else does too; this means that when they see someone of a different subtype excelling at something through deliberate focus, they might assume that the other person’s success just came naturally to them…and that can seem really unfair.  Yet (ep)s’ natural ability is a huge advantage, giving them the widest versatility and adaptability in their Type Spec.  (ep)s aren’t supposed to focus on deliberate approaches to things; they can certainly learn to use deliberateness, but they’ll fare best and be much happier as they let themselves approach everything in a natural, talents-oriented (ep) way.

“No matter what their cognition type is, (ep) subs approach it through the (ep) motives-based ToI, which causes them to observe the way things naturally work, rather than trying to change things.  (ep) is always about observation.  This lets (ep) subs sit back and observe things that other types might miss…but only when (ep)s allow themselves to sit back and be (ep)s.  When they feel the need to be more intentional instead of natural in their ideas, plans, actions, and abilities, they tend to close off and stop observing.  This can make them feel rather lonely, confused, and grumpy.”

“This doubly-natural approach to their Type Specs has an inverse effect on (ep)s’ type fears.  While (ep)s are very unintentional and un-deliberate about their desires, this interestingly makes them doubly intentional and doubly deliberate about how to handle their fears.  Having such an intimate connection to their own selves, (ep)s are much more aware of their type’s fears, and how those fears might sprout up in their lives in the form of Type Angsts.

“Often, this makes (ep)s a bit more resigned to the effects of their type fears.  Being so well acquainted with all the ways that their Type Angsts can crop up and get in the way of, well, everything, (ep)s are kinda like the old, grizzled, paranoid veteran of the subtypes, who’s all too aware of the reality of danger and perhaps a little too pessimistic of the chances of overcoming it.  Jumping at possible fulfillments of their type fear everywhere, (ep)s can be quick to overthink things and see their fear in any potentially worrisome situation.  This can make them feel resigned to having to live with the sheer size and resilience of their type’s fears.  Yet this also has the advantage of making (ep)s the most familiar with all the ins and outs of their type fear, which can equip them to beat those fears effectively and doubly-deliberately.

“On the whole, though, (ep) subs are free and natural in their approach to life, decisions, and their own type.  Each different cognitive type is so different, yet it’s pretty adorable seeing how the (ep) subtype of each brings such an adaptive openness to any and every type.”

(ip) sub: The Comfortable Approach

“With a focus on situations and their specific data and details, (ip) subs end up naturally gravitating to the behaviors they enjoy, the activities they prefer, and the circumstances where they’re the most comfortable.

“Comfort is a big thing for (ip) subs.  They like approaching their Type Specs in a relaxed, cautious way that makes the most use of their accustomed techniques of behavior.  With (p)’s auto-steering allowing them to pay closer attention to interesting and unexpected surprises along life’s branching roads, and (i)’s deliberate control of the decision-mobile’s speed letting them slow down to examine particularly intriguing choices, or speed up to hurry through rote or uninteresting decisions, (ip) makes for a very comfortable ride through life.  Their deliberate (i) naturalness (p) means that (ip)s intentionally *choose* to approach their Type Spec in a natural, relaxed way; they’re “deliberately natural.”  That’s what best helps them learn and improve their accustomed toolbelt of behaviors.  Different individuals are different,  yet all this causes healthy (ip) subs to tend to be quite chill and laid-back about their Type Specs and about life in general.”

“(ip) is always about situational details.  No matter what the cognitive type, (ip) subs approach it through the (ip) data-based ToI, paying attention to the situations of life and smoothly adapting to them.  This lets (ip) subs slow down and focus in on important details relating to their Type Spec, but only when (ip)s allow themselves to chill and be (ip)s.  When they feel pressured to be more driven or self-directed (self-directed isn’t always a good thing, it’s just a (j) thing), they tend to neglect their carefully honed and perfected behaviors and overlook precious situational details.  This can make them very dissatisfied with life, others, and especially themselves.

“This deliberately natural approach to their Type Specs has an inverse effect on (ip)s’ type fears.  While (ip)s are intentionally relaxed about their desires, this makes them unintentionally focused and attentive, or “naturally deliberate,” about their fears.  This unintentional deliberateness means that (ip)s can’t help but be focused on and even preoccupied with their fears!  Having such an attentive awareness of the situational details of their Type Spec, (ip)s are unavoidably aware of how each situation prods at their hidden fears and insecurities.

“This inescapable awareness frequently causes (ip)s to react by running the other way, *trying* to escape by attempting to hide their worries from their own selves, like the ‘don’t worry, be happy, and wear some smooth shades’ dude among the subtypes.  They want to be chill and comfortable, not harassed by gnawing fears that might seem to undermine their entire Type Spec.  So, (ip)s tend toward various forms of denying that their type fear really even bothers them.  They may deny that the fear is true — and usually, it isn’t true! — or they may deny that the fear is even there to begin with.  But denial is not the same as facing a fear and growing to understand, overcome, and even benefit from it.  The more (ip)s unintentionally shy away from exploring their type’s fear and Angst, the more they’ll end up falling victim to their Type Angst in more pronounced and debilitating ways.  Yet the more they learn to take the power of their detailed awareness and focus it on their most uncomfortable fears, the more perfectly they can exemplify all the strengths of their Type Spec without any of its weaknesses.

“Overall, (ip) subs are the most intentionally free and relaxed in their approach to life, decisions, and their own type.  Among all the many different cognitive types, the (ip) subtype of each brings such a comforting, attentive peacefulness to any Type Spec.”

(ej) sub: The Supercharged Approach

“With a focus on action and the consequences that lead to desired experiences, (ej) subs are always sharply aware of which habits they need to improve in order to get the consequences they desire.

“This causes (ej)s to become a bit compulsive about fulfilling their Type Spec.  And that’s a good thing!  With (e)’s natural, automatic approach combined with (j)’s intentional focus, (ej) subs become “naturally deliberate” — unintentionally, inescapably focused on their Type Spec.  Focused whether they like it or not.  Using the metaphor of the decision-mobile, (ej)s have deliberate, self-directed control of their steering (j) but not of their speed (e).  They can plan and choose where they want to go, but not how fast or slow they want to go while getting there; their decision-engine is always set on one speed: forward!  There is no slowing down to study things more carefully, only a constant (and often frantic) attention to steering as they pilot their careening decision-mobile down the paths they determine.  There’s no time to stop and observe, only an absolute focus forward in order to avoid crashing into things.  Everything is a challenge to be assaulted deliberately!  This makes (ej) subs a relentless force for fulfilling their Type Spec, when they’re healthy.”

“Whether an (ej)’s Type Spec is about edifying or enjoying, about practical use or expectable results, they’re always active in plotting a course and building habits to make it happen.  They can’t turn it off.  They may be quietly determined, patiently calculating, or loudly enthusiastic, but they never lose sight of a full-thrust attack on their Type Spec’s main desire.  Even when they want to.  (ej) subs who try to fight their Type Spec, trying to leave it behind in order to be a different type, are plagued with a sharper internal conflict than other subtypes because their Type Spec is still set on turbo, whether they like it or not.  All the power and ferocity that gives (ej)s their drive, also means that their deepest desires won’t be quashed by any mere passing fear or insecurity caused by their Type Angst.  Their deepest desires will come to the fore, even when contradictory fears tear them in two.

“Fortunately, as an apparent balance to this potential for soul-rending conflict, (ej)s are also the most naturally comfortable with their Type Angst.  Healthy (ej)s tend to embrace their type’s fears with the same enthusiasm as anything else, finding joy and excitement in the challenge.  As the inverse of their Type Spec’s un-turn-off-able “natural deliberateness,” (ej)s are deliberately natural about their approach to their type’s fears.  They’re the swaggering, charismatic goofball of the subtypes.  They deliberately choose to relax and go naturally with the flow of their fears, turning that flow into a constant source of passion and drive.  Their fear comfortably motivates a constantly renewed push on their Type Spec, impelling them higher and faster.  This makes healthy (ej)s a source of safety, a blazing example of their Type Spec, and a ton of fun.

“When unhealthy, however, all this fire causes (ej)s to burn themselves and others.  Unhealthy (ej)s tend to project their type’s fear onto others rather than embracing it themselves, accusing those who make them uncomfortable of having the very failings that they’re so aware of in their own private selves.  This does not make unhealthy (ej)s any worse or even any more damaging than unhealthy people of other subtypes; it just makes them quite noticeable about it.

“In everything, (ej)s tend to be noticeable!  In their fears and desires, in doing and being, whether they’re trying to make a splash or trying to blend in, (ej) subs burn bright with their sharp, ultra-focused approach to everything they do!”

(ij) sub: The Deliberate Approach

“With a focus on universal principles and the trends that demonstrate them, (ij) subs become closely familiar with the fact that our attitudes shape our thoughts, feelings, evaluations, and reactions to everything that exists or happens in the world.  Because of this awareness, (ij)s seek to control and cultivate their attitudes intentionally, recognizing that otherwise, their attitudes will end up controlling them.

“Control of self is everything for (ij)s: control of one’s own desires, biases, liabilities, and strengths, and particularly control of one’s approach to their own Type Spec.  When faced with the vast, complex, and so often seemingly contradictory trends of each Type Spec, healthy (ij)s seek control and caution of their own attitudes in order to maintain as much clarity and impartiality as they can.  By paying attention to the way that our attitudes totally alter our interpretation of every event, every experience, every thought and idea and every scrap of information, healthy (ij)s seek to broaden their understanding of their Type Spec by taking careful control of their own attitude-lens.  Unhealthy (ij)s, by contrast, seek to control their attitude-lens in order to produce conclusions and interpretations that they like, deliberately skewing the world in whatever way is convenient to their own twisted version of their type’s desires.  Unhealthy (ij)s live and breathe to fool themselves and then fool others via one-sided attitudes, while healthy (ij)s live every moment trying to compensate for and cancel their attitude’s biases in order to see everything more clearly.

“Everything is about principles and trends for (ij) subs, approaching their Type Spec through the (ij) principles ToI in order to see and understand what makes their type work. … The world is a fabulously complicated realm, which means that easy, simplistic, one-sided attitudes lead to poor results in practice.  There are plenty of bickering, one-sided attitudes these days already; the world could use some healthy (ij)s of every type to deliberately develop inclusive, accurate attitudes.

“(ij) subs are the most deliberate of the subtypes, wielding the intentional, planned steering of (j) as well as the deliberate speed control of (i).  They’re ‘doubly deliberate’ in their approach to everything.  They may choose to slow down to study an interesting moment, or speed up to move on to something else, while also choosing which roads, detours, or undiscovered vistas they want to steer their decisions toward next.  This total control may sound nice to other subtypes, but it comes at the cost of constant attention to both speed and direction.  Sure, (ij)s are free to slow down and consider details when they choose, but their deliberate attention to speed and steering makes it harder for them to notice such details in the first place.  While they don’t need to be as direly focused forward as (ej)s, their attention is spent primarily on control of the decision-mobile, making it easy for them to miss options and ideas that might seem totally obvious to less deliberate subtypes.

“(ij)s’ double-deliberateness means that they approach their Type Spec entirely by choice.  They *choose* to love the things that matter most to them.  They choose to care most about their own type’s central desires; healthy (ij)s wouldn’t have it any other way.  Sure, they could try to force being a different type and tear themselves apart by attempting to bury their own most precious desires, but healthy (ij)s *like* their Type Spec; it’s a pure reflection of who they are.  In dealing with their strengths, weaknesses, growth, learning, anything, (ij)s are always consciously aware of their every move.

“While such deliberate control helps (ij)s chart the path of their own growth, that growth is best served when they focus on developing strong, complex inward attitudes.  When (ij)s feel pressured to focus on deliberately developing outward habits more than inward attitudes, they end up stifling their own powerful and special capacity for self mastery.  This leads to depression, searing inner conflict, and a haunting worry that their true potential is entirely unrecognized and unrealized.  Yet when (ij)s allow themselves to approach life, goals, others, and especially themselves by cultivating inner attitudes most of all, they grow capable of deliberately learning the strengths of other subtypes without suppressing their own.

“All this double-deliberateness becomes the opposite, however, when it comes to (ij) subs’ type fears and the Angsts that those fears cause.  (ij)s are doubly natural, doubly unintentional, about their fears and insecurities.  While they approach life with such control, that same control leaves them extra vulnerable to the unexpected and the unknown, to the crucial yet overlooked sides of the world outside the scope of their own carefully cultivated attitudes.  In deliberately choosing to love their Type Spec, (ij)s are helplessly locked into the fears that come as part of the deal of each type; they can’t have one without the other.

“This helplessness often causes (ij)s to feel especially torn regarding their fears.  On the one hand, they can still approach their fear with control, developing attitudes that help them face and overcome their fears.  Yet on the other hand, in spite of all their accustomed control, the fear simply won’t go away.  They may enjoy precious victories over their persistent fears, deliberately learning new things about life and themselves, and yet like comic book supervillains, the fears will still always be back next time.  (ij) subs are the tragically flawed heroes among the subtypes, constantly battling on when the real foe is their own inner demons.  Fortunately, these undying fears can become an asset instead of a liability, but only as we face them and grow.  Life for (ij) subs is the constant coexisting duality between light and dark, strength and weakness, victory and catastrophe, growth and stagnation.  They are the living embodiment of the eternal principles that define their particular Type Spec.

“On the whole, (ij)s’ doubly-deliberate approach to life and everything draws them to a continual attempt at balance between comfort and ferocity, outward direction and inward introspection.  Yet this comes at the cost of constant control, leaving them the most helpless of all the subtypes against the incessant stabs of their type’s fear.”

  And boom, there we go!  Now we can talk about subtypes here on Phase 1!

  Whew, so this was not a short post after all…actually it’s a bit longer than the full Phase 2 version!  But hey, I had to talk about facial typing and stuff here, and I quoted Calise’s explanation from the old forum.  Phase 2 posts are able to go into more depth about exactly why and how subtypes are what they are, but this should be good for here.

In the original Phase 2 post, after each subtype section, we gave a list of examples of people of that subtype, one for each cognitive type.  We’re much more cautious about doing that sort of thing here, though, because we get tired of people cruising in, saying “nope, that’s wrong, because [insert demeaning stereotype here.]”  For example (paraphrasing), “Nope, [Shen] is INTJ, because he has a vision.”  What the…?  So only INTJs can have great, ambitious vision?  Oh no wait, I used the word “ambitious,” and only ENTJs are ambitious, right?  “Nope, Rapunzel is an E, because she’s outgoing.”  “Nope, Mulan is an F, because she cares about people.”  “Nope, Marble Hornets’ Jay is a P, because he stinks at planning.”  “Nope, Harry Potter is ISFP, because he’s lazy about schoolwork but he’s good at Quidditch.”  All real comments we’ve gotten.  I am not making this crap up.

I just…yeah…  So only Es are social, only Fs ever care about people, only Ps have trouble with planning and schoolwork, and only Ss are athletic?  May INTP(ip) Michael Jordan come smack you in your sleep.  How is this science?  How is this okay?  I wish I were exaggerating, but people talk this way so unabashedly.

Yet over and over, we meet sensible, cool people who just want to *understand* themselves and everyone else, and, well, stereo-typing is simply the best option they’ve known so far.  That’s who we’re writing for.  There’s not much hope in trying to “convince” people who *want* the ugly, nonsensical stereotypes, who cling to them tenaciously because the simplifications make them feel better than other people.  No, we’re here for the awesome people who want self-understanding rather than self-justification, who want to face and solve problems rather than point out somebody else’s, and who want the real versions that actually work and can actually be used in daily life, rather than bizarro four-by-four charts that boil down the complexity of human minds into a vapid list of traits that could kinda apply to anyone.

Heh, but enough of that, we have plenty of posts laboriously explaining the issues with the inconsistencies and stereotypes.  For this one, I’ll just say that the types I’m about to list are not mere subjective opinions based on selective cherry-picking of a few quotes or anecdotes.  What’s awesome about having reliable, repeatable definitions that always apply, is that they always work.  There’s no wiggle room for subjective fudging; if there were, then our definitions would be flawed.  In addition, the ironclad reliability of facial typing is like a hot knife cutting through the sludge of stereotypes.  Okay that’s gross, but it’s true.  And it’s so cool.

So now without further ado, here’s a parade of subtypes to give a glimpse at how each sub approaches each cognitive type!

Natural (ep) subs: – ENFP(ep): Charles Dickens – ESFP(ep): Andrew Zimmern – ENTP(ep): Will Smith – ESTP(ep): Conan O’Brien – INFP(ep): Benito Mussolini (who says INFPs can’t be evil?) – ISFP(ep): Michael Jackson – INTP(ep): Albert Einstein – ISTP(ep): Jennifer Lawrence – ENFJ(ep): William Shakespeare – ESFJ(ep): Reese Witherspoon – ENTJ(ep): Anthony Bourdain – ESTJ(ep): Neil Armstrong – INFJ(ep): Aaron Sorkin – ISFJ(ep): Carrie Underwood – INTJ(ep): Christopher Columbus – ISTJ(ep): Ayn Rand

Comfortable (ip) subs: – ENFP(ip): Winston Churchill – ESFP(ip): Oscar Wilde – ENTP(ip): Viggo Mortensen – ESTP(ip): Alexander the Great – INFP(ip): Stephen Hawking – ISFP(ip): Alfred Hitchcock – INTP(ip): Mark Twain – ISTP(ip): Socrates – ENFJ(ip): Martin Luther King, Jr. – ESFJ(ip): Maya Angelou – ENTJ(ip): Thomas Edison – ESTJ(ip): Bill O’Reilly – INFJ(ip): Mohandas Gandhi – ISFJ(ip): Jonah Hill – INTJ(ip): Leonardo da Vinci – ISTJ(ip): Charlotte Bronte

Supercharged (ej) subs: – ENFP(ej): Nikola Tesla – ESFP(ej): Jay Leno – ENTP(ej): Benjamin Franklin – ESTP(ej): Ernest Hemingway – INFP(ej): Helen Keller – ISFP(ej): Rosa Parks – INTP(ej): Marie Curie – ISTP(ej): Les Stroud (Survivorman) – ENFJ(ej): Lewis Carroll – ESFJ(ej): Alan Tudyk – ENTJ(ej): Katy Perry – ESTJ(ej): Queen Elizabeth II – INFJ(ej): Fred Astaire – ISFJ(ej): Anderson Cooper – INTJ(ej): Henry Ford – ISTJ(ej): Christopher Lee

Deliberate (ij) subs: – ENFP(ij): Julie Andrews – ESFP(ij): Eleanor Roosevelt – ENTP(ij): Jimmy Fallon – ESTP(ij): Samuel L. Jackson – INFP(ij): Daniel Radcliffe – ISFP(ij): Christopher Nolan – INTP(ij): Abraham Lincoln – ISTP(ij): Scarlett Johansson – ENFJ(ij): Stan Lee – ESFJ(ij): Anna Kendrick – ENTJ(ij): Napoleon Bonaparte – ESTJ(ij): Jamie Hyneman (Mythbusters) – INFJ(ij): James McAvoy – ISFJ(ij): Bruce Willis – INTJ(ij): Steve Jobs – ISTJ(ij): Pablo Picasso

This makes me want to list more, both real-life and fictional too, to show more about how amazingly and diversely each type thinks!  How well they all work, how marvelously consistent they are, and how much we all need *all* of them.  To quote the Phase 2 subtype post one more time:

“Each needs all the others, each fills holes and covers weaknesses of the others, and each shines the brightest when benefitting and learning from the unique approaches of each other subtype.

“And every subtype can learn to gain all the strengths of all the others.  Just as with … cognition, if we try to force being a different subtype due to pressure or fears, then we’ll gain only the easily acquired weaknesses of the other sub, while neglecting the strengths of our own.  Yet as we allow ourselves to embrace life as the subtype we naturally are, we grow to overcome all its weaknesses while also gaining the strengths of other subtypes.  And the more we grow to understand ourselves and others, the happier, more effective, and more beneficial we become, able to lift everyone and show them how awesome life can be.”

  On the aLBoP Guided Tour?  You’ve reached the last stop for now! :'(  But don’t worry!  That means you’re ready to invite yourself to Phase 2!  And believe me, there’s plenty to read over there!  Thanks for sticking around and showing us your love! <3s

The post A Little Bit of Subtypes appeared first on A Little Bit of Personality.

A Little Bit of Subtypes - a look at aLBoP-exclusive cognitive subsets, plus more on Facial Typing!

Alright!  This is Justin again.  So we’re gonna try to keep this huge, ginormo, super in-depth topic really short here (edit: ha!), because this is just sort of a preview.  But we’re still pretty excited to get to talk about subtypes here on “Phase 1!”

See, the full post about subtypes is on aLBoP Phase 2, and even that post is just the intro to the topic.  Phase 2 goes into far more depth about,…

Once upon a time, last winter, we moved A Little Bit of Personality to WordPress from Blogger. It was a long, tedious process with a lot of formatting (which on some posts I’m still not pleased with). The site was down for almost a month. All the urls changed, even though I went through and made redirects for as many as I could.  And all our Google+ comments got removed (which honestly was part of the point of moving platforms.  It was being an annoying system).

All this led to the complex set of algorithms which is Google Search to be very confused as to what was important on aLBoP.  When you Googled aLBoP or A Little Bit of Personality, suddenly it was trying to give search results of random image links and obscure posts, instead of things people really wanted to find, such as Type Specializations, the Super Simple Series or Type Heroes.

It also didn’t help that we were working on other aspects of aLBoP and life in general, so posting has been a slow game all year.  As I understand it, Google prioritizes frequent posting, as well as Google+ shares (nepotism lol), neither of which were in our favor anymore.

But this also meant that non-aLBoP links, especially from popular sites, suddenly came up much earlier in search results.  One in particular, with the most click-bait-y subject line ever, notably rose to the first page of search results right away: a forum thread with the subject line “A Little Bit of Personality Blog: Is it a scam or did I overreact?”

Well if the promise of a scam won’t get people to listen to you, I don’t know what will.  Talk about the most buzzwordy word possible lol.

Ha, which just now when I Googled to be sure I was quoting the name of the thread correctly, I saw something relieving which I didn’t know, but I’ll talk about that in a minute here.

So I have never clicked on this link, I’m pretty sure. As soon as we were live again on WordPress, I was trying to make sure that Google had our sitemap, working on our SEO, etc., so I believe I saw that link there as early as January 2017.  And seeing it there immediately upset me, not gonna lie.  But I wanted to listen to the immortal words of Taylor Swift and shake it off.  Plus I had way too many other things to worry about, not the least of which was continuing to be sure my links went where they said.  And I also knew that reading people lying about me would just upset me and keep me from getting things done.  So I went on with life and working on content like INTJ – The Dragon, which came out in February.

But apparently a lot of my aLBoP friends, (people who we’ve met through their long-time reading and loving of the site, but have become so very much more than just readers, as so many of you have ) had seen this link too, and several of them were even more upset than I was about it.  They checked it out on their own and then came and told me about who had posted on the “scam” thread and what they had said.

As soon as Justin and I heard what the original poster of the thread had said, we were immediately like “Oh, him.”

Now before I go briefly into what this guy’s “grievances” were, let me tell you what I was relieved to see this afternoon while writing.  When I Googled “a little bit of personality” and saw this link there, not actually clicking on it (it’s gross enough to smell a pile of poop, I don’t want to put my hand in it), it says under the link:

“Oct 2, 2015 – 10 posts – 4 authors” [emphasis added]

*Whew* when my friends were describing what was on there to me, I thought it was like pages and pages of all these people saying how much I suck!  To know that it’s just four people, two of which I know who they are and knew that they were like that before they even had anything to complain about, is incredibly relieving.

Okay, so four people. I don’t know who two of them are because I haven’t actually read the thread, although it’s likely I would know them too.

Most of the people who get really angry about aLBoP are ones who liked us at first, often even people who vied heavily for our attention initially, until we say something that offends them, or more often their worldview, and then they hate us with the burning passion of suns and must tell anyone who will listen.  Although I don’t think there is a single one of those people who we didn’t get a red flag in our minds at their first email, “watch out, this is one of those kinds of people” no matter how positive they were toward us at first.  Observing people is our job, after all.

Person 1

So with this particular guy, the one who started the “scam” thread, *sigh* I knew from his first email “ah, one of those.”

He bought a typing + personal chat package from the store, sometime around then in 2015.  We don’t actually carry personal chat time anymore, because it was taking way too much time and we were getting behind. We actually *still* have some out that we sold but haven’t done.  We will either go ahead and do those ones at some point, or refund their money.  But I know there were several really cool people who ordered them near the end, so I would really like to fulfill those at some point here, rather than refunding them.

Anyway, we don’t carry them anymore because they had gotten really stressful and after we had a forum, which we’ll talk more about later, we thought people can get their questions answered there anyway, answer each other’s questions, etc.

We’ve never been especially timely with Typings, but we do always get to them.  I don’t remember how timely we were fulfilling this guy’s order. We do them in big batches, usually, where we sit down and type a bunch of people at once, oldest order first.  So if we took a while to get back to him it wasn’t at all because he was a less pleasant customer, because the time we take has nothing to do with that.  So if you have to wait a while for your Typing, it’s not because we don’t like you, lol <3 (If we’re ever taking too long, you *can* send us a polite email and ask if we can go ahead and get on it.  But we always do get to it and we always feel really bad making people wait.)

Oddly, I vaguely remember doing this guy’s really fast anyway, so I don’t think that was part of the problem. We may have been like “this guy is a live wire, we shouldn’t let his sit too long.”  We do occasionally do that.

Anyway, if I understand correctly, his main reasoning in calling us a “scam” is that the following happened:

1)  He ordered a typing + a video chat.

2)  We felt immediately “eh” about him, but fulfilled his typing order in a normal and polite fashion.

I think it was his condescending attitude toward people in general in his first email that seemed like #badsign to me.

3)  He was displeased with the type we gave him.  We have a post about this.

No matter how consistent and repeatable the results are, no matter how many people are over the moon about our typing of them, no matter how many people are repeat typing-customers because they see how it all lines up over and over again in real life; there are so many people who are set on the type or set of types they want to be a part of, and therefore who dislike the type we give them.  But the way we Facial Type is a science, with consistent data-sets that have proven universally consistent thousands of times, holding up over time and experience.  We can’t go changing the answer because somebody gets his panties in a wad.

There are also plenty of people who are personally threatened by the idea of Facial Typing at all, or just very uncomfortable about it.  You are welcome to feel however you want on the topic.  But I don’t understand why people order from us if they feel that way.

It’s like someone coming across town to tell you he thinks your house is ugly.  I feel like “… Okay, thanks?  Then don’t look at it and get off my lawn.”  The internet is a big place and no one is making you stay here.  Honestly there’s probably a more fitting analogy with someone who hates seafood yelling at Red Lobster or someone buying an orange and getting mad that it’s not an apple, but eh, I like the lawn one.

4)  We don’t give refunds on Typings we have fulfilled.  We never have, and say so very clearly on the Type Me page, which has all the instructions. That page didn’t exist in its current version at the time, but we have always listed that on pages describing the Typing process.

The effort and our typing results are what is being paid for, and people who get snotty about their results take far *more* effort than people who are happy with them.  That’s not to say you are required to be happy, but that even if you are not, our time and our results have still been given to you, so we can’t just refund that.  If you don’t trust our scientific process and our definitions, then that is completely your prerogative.  But if that’s the case, then please don’t order a typing and waste our time, as well as yours.

5)  He also applied to the, at the time, brand new Phase 2, via a separate self-invite system.

Okay, the thing to know about all our websites is that they are 100% free, always are, always have been, always will be.  We currently have—*counts*—4 websites.  They all have free admission and no subscription fees or anything of that nature.  The only things we charge money for as part of aLBoP are specific services and merchandise. That used to include video chats, which as I said we don’t offer anymore, and now includes Personalized Typings and, hopefully in the future, merchandise such as t-shirts (you can buy t-shirts here, but I really want to make more designs and figure out a better system for producing them), patches or whatever other physical or digital items you guys might want to buy.  We do not have any premium content, if the definition of “premium” is content you pay for.

All other funds from aLBoP come to us via Patreon where people can support our content, which helps us produce more of it, or via Love for aLBoP, one-time donations in the aLBoP shop.  (Everyone has been remarkably patient as I haven’t been great at giving out everyone’s Patreon rewards, such as the monthly desktop wallpaper for $5+ people, etc. But I really am excited to do that and plan to do it sooooon.  Not one person has said anything about it yet, I just feel really bad because your support means so much to me. <3)

HOWEVER, we do have content that is restricted to people we have given access. Like I said, we have 4 websites, of which this is the first; Phase 1 as we call it. Yes, this is a blatant reference to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Phase 2 in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Why, yes, we are giant nerds.  Here, have a picture of stick figure Phil Coulson with his gun from Avengers, if you haven’t seen it on the Phase 2 Intro site.

But while we do gate these websites–the Phase 2 Intro behind a self-invite you can use right now if you want (it’ll open up in a new tab so you don’t have to lose your spot here <3), and Phase 2 gated behind applying and us getting to know you—ALL of them are free.  Let me repeat that: none of our websites cost any money.  (The fourth site only has a few people on it so far and it’s still under construction anyway, but it’ll have a similar kind of gating.)  These websites are provided free of charge, including our time spent on the Phase 2 forum, where we give lots of personal help and advice.  We don’t even have ADS on any of the websites!!!! (Although we are considering adding them to our videos, because we find that less invasive.)

6)  Where was I?  Oh yeah, he had applied for Phase 2, but then we were busy and hadn’t gotten to adding people to the new Phase 2, back before the process was automated.

7)  He sent an annoying displeased email.  I could pull up said email now to remember the details (I never delete aLBoP emails from anyone, which is why my Gmail storage is exploding), but I really really don’t want to.

But I recall that he was firstly, really whiny about his typing.  I don’t remember if he actually said he couldn’t be an F, like we had typed him, or if that was just the impression we got from his email, which is a very common tale, especially with people who hold onto the internet’s definition of Feeler.  Men typed as Fs and women typed as Ts have been trends in our grumpiest clientele, because people believe that Feeler means soft like mush and Thinker means Vulcan, and people equate those to feminine and masculine traits, respectively, which is frankly pretty dumb.  Although I can only blame people so much for wanting certain types, when the internet deems some types so wildly more worthwhile than others.  However, how people react when they’re disappointed says a lot about them.

The second thing that really got our eyes rolling about his email was his attitude that because he had given us money, he owned our time.  Money seemed like his main card to play, which makes all the more sense why he made money the focus of his thread title, calling us a scam.  Anyway, it was a very “but you have to do what I say, I paid you,” attitude.

But if you’re not sure on my character judgment of him, go ahead and look at the thread.  I haven’t read it, but if he doesn’t come off whiny and like someone who feels like money makes him entitled, then I will eat my hat. Well, I won’t, but it’s the only idiom I could think of.  But if you don’t agree then you won’t agree, and that’ll be the end of it, but at least I will have left the opinion up to you.

8)  So we saw from his email, which wasn’t a surprise from his original email, that we didn’t want to waste time and energy having a personal chat with him.  We also didn’t want him on the brand new forum, which as a private, free forum was our prerogative.

9)  So I sent him an email telling him that we would refund the chat money because we didn’t want to talk to him more and that he was the first person banned from the forum, which was true.

I think we only actually banned… 2.5 people ever.  I say 2.5 because we officially banned 2 people from ever entering the original site, and were close to banning another, but he quit before we could fire him, so to speak.

Was I especially nice in this email reply?  No. I wasn’t trying to be.  I wanted to really let him know why we didn’t want to deal with him anymore, and frankly he was a buttmunch.  Again, you can go look at the thread if you want to verify his buttmunch-itude.

10)  WE REFUNDED HIS VIDEO CHAT.

Again, like I said in point 5… No… 4, we don’t give out refunds for typings. We had fulfilled that part of the deal, so we kept our $15 dollars (I know, huge quantities of money being exchanged ), but refunded him the $10 for the video chat we didn’t give him.  He was our first refund; we had to figure out how to do it on the website.

11)  I think he probably replied again, angrily, but I was super done with it.

12)  Shortly after (we launched Phase 2 on September 15 and he wasn’t in the first several batches of applications, so he probably rage posted pretty quickly), he started that thread.

Apparently his reading comprehension was limited enough that he thought paying for a video chat was paying for Phase 2…I guess… Even though you would have to read the Phase 2 announcement page from the time to even apply… idk. I’ll give him the limited benefit of the doubt that he was more stupid than flat-out lying… Stupid isn’t a nice word, it implies mental limitations and implies that if other people missed information, I think they’re stupid too, which I don’t.  “Making the decision to be willfully idiotic” is a much more fitting term.  I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he was being willfully idiotic, rather than flat-out lying.

13)  I thankfully haven’t heard from him since and hope he finds happiness despite his buttmunchiness. Totally a word.

Anyway, you can have any opinion you want about my choices in responding to him, but since he had no purchase that wasn’t either fulfilled or refunded, he has zero claim to a scam.  Although, you know, I’m really rolling in his fifteen bucks.  *Evil laugh*

  Person 2

The other person who I know wrote on the “scam” thread, got upset in the very earliest days of the forum. It was a lot of drama in a short period of time that happened… two years ago today! [At time of writing, which was the middle of September.]  Holy crap, I didn’t know that when I started writing.  Happy anniversary to drama .

There was a lot of drama in those early days of the forum as we were attempting to establish an atmosphere different than so many forums and so much of the internet.  This other person wasn’t the only one involved at the time, but since other people didn’t feel the need to run my name through the mud, I don’t feel the need to address their personal issues with aLBoP.

This woman was INFP and I’m referring to her by her type since I have no intention to be petty enough to share her name.  That doesn’t mean I think all INFPs are that way *obviously,* it’s just easier than saying “woman” on repeat, because that’s weird.

But, as I’m sure she talked about on the thread in question, she thought we were harsh and mean on our forum in a way that she deemed “never called for.”  She was referring to one particular forum post of mine.  Here’s what happened, from my perspective:

If you are unfamiliar with cognitive typing, you will need to know that ESTPs like to poke for reactions.  It’s how they interact with the world, which is a good thing.  And because motives and character judgment is their primary Type of Information, it really really matters to them what people are really like. They hate fakeness, perhaps most of all the EPs, and attempt to cut through the crap of pretension (wow I had no idea that was spelled with an s instead of a t, interesting), or fake nicety, by catching people off guard and seeing how they react.  Reactions are an EP’s bread and butter, after all.

So since very early aLBoP, there was this ESTP.  Great way to start a story lol. And he had been all over the internet and in real life, and had seen people being crappy on repeat, so he was used to that as the norm rather than the exception. We can all relate with that.

So when he found aLBoP he immediately began his routine “poking for legitimacy” like a 19th century miner biting a gold coin lol.  But because of the crappy he had experienced, he was used to having to poke oftenly and fairly hard to see what was really inside someone.

But when he first began poking at aLBoP, I didn’t know this backstory.  I just saw that the same guy was commenting on *every* new post, and giving me pokie lip on each one lol.  He would comment things on each post, trying to get a reaction, commenting about how I said this or that, or on what he’d read elsewhere that disagreed.  And at first I was just like “>:( leave me aloooone! If you don’t like the posts, why are you here??”

But that was the thing, he kept staying around.  I didn’t get it.  I felt like his comments meant he didn’t like the posts, so why didn’t he just move on?  And the comments were getting more positive over time, usually just with something pokie at the end or something.  And he ordered a typing from us and I was like “What???  Well, I guess he does trust us some… Huh…”  That was before Facial Typing, but when I realized his type it just made all the sense.  (I have obviously since seen his face and it was spot on what we predicted, for the record.  Take that people who try and pretend this isn’t a science .  When it can accurately predict what people will look like before we see their faces.)  And he had really been open about himself in his typing emails (of which there were several, telling us about himself, which is so adorably ESTP lol <3), and I was already liking him a lot more already.  And then he posted pokie comments on the Spartan, being skeptical and I’d feel grumpy about him again, but as much as I wasn’t a fan of the way he was poking, feeling like “how many times are you going to have to poke me before you’ll believe I’m legit? :P”, I did still really like him and care about him, and was starting to appreciate his bold, frank, poking sense of humor.

But this back and forth dance of poking and a surprising growing loyalty we saw from him about aLBoP, was at an interesting place right before we launched Phase 2.  I remember he had left a really sweet comment on SS:P2 (which isn’t there anymore because we moved, remember?) and I was feeling really supported and happy about him.  And yet because of this history, and the fact that I was aware the poking was still strong with him, lol, Justin and I were nervous about him as we came up to launching Phase 2.  I remember three individuals that we were worried about with it and this ESTP was one of them. But like I said, we liked him too, so Justin and I had high hopes about the whole situation as we launched.

Now, if you haven’t read what is now the Phase 2 Intro, and don’t know about what kind of content we have over there, it’s not only more in depth than what we have here on Phase 1, it’s about understanding yourself in a very core way, even deeper inside than cognition even, which is why we didn’t want it to be drive-by internet bait.  It’s not secret, but we think it’s pretty special, and we wanted to foster an environment of reading-comprehension and self-examination, for this information that is intended to help individuals grow, for people who want to do that. Like I said, it’s pretty special to us, and we’ve had immensely special experiences seeing it work in the lives of others as well as ourselves <3.

But because of the crap he’d experienced, and because most of the time Motives aren’t treated as a valid Type of Information, even after all the times he’d poked us, this ESTP felt very wary as he came onto Phase 2 and began reading the new information.  It was all new stuff and lifted the ceiling on his own potential, making him worried he was going to be judged unfairly for things he didn’t know yet (I hope that’s a fair assessment of his feelings at the time).  And so he sort of acted out about it.  From what he said later, he skimmed the Intro, feeling grumpy about it from the very beginning of the information, and went to the fresh new forum even more wary than he had started.

He read the forum rules, which we had written purposely open-ended, talking about attitudes that weren’t acceptable on the aLBoP forum, and referenced content from the Intro in showing how those attitudes would be identified.  Having been treated unfairly other places for doing the “wrong” action (his last step and mine), and I think feeling grumpy about the new information being referenced again, like he was expected to know everything right away or, like I said, be judged unfairly, our ESTP’s first forum post was a criticism of the forum rules, saying they were too open ended and wouldn’t work.  I remember in one of his posts in this conversation, he said that other forums’ rules were better and said it would be better to be like every other forum, which was the opposite of what we were aiming for.

Justin replied very nicely to him, explaining that he wasn’t expected to know everything yet, and to just relax and settle in, trying to encourage him to get comfortable and let us worry about whether or not we could reasonably make it better than other forums.

(I swear, I don’t know why people consistently treat Justin like he’s going to be the intense, harsh one. 9 times out of 10 *I* play bad cop, not him.  Which people don’t expect from me because I’m adorable and smiley, lol, and the unsuspected nature of it works in my favor.)

But our ESTP (running out of ways to say that) was still feeling upset from the Intro, and didn’t want to be soothed about the topic, still arguing about it being unfair.  I think some others might have talked too at that point?  Don’t remember.  But it was a particular “won’t let this go” thing iirc.

And we were working so hard on the atmosphere of this baby forum.  Justin and I were getting about 2 hrs of sleep a night, trying to help the forum feel like a safe place where people could actually talk about things, and this was the last thing it needed.  And I was so done with this ESTP’s mood and attitude at that moment.  He was being so stubborn (which I lovingly joke ST stands for sometimes, lol <3) and obstinate, and I decided “no more!”

I sat down and wrote a reply post that was intended to smack him upside the head, hard, and say “Stop it!  I think you can be better than this!  Are you going to prove me wrong?!”  It was an intense post, not gonna lie. I actually remember very little about it besides my calculated fury and the fact that I quoted XKCD.  And I said he wasn’t allowed to say “I didn’t do any specific actions wrong, you can’t call me on my bad attitude and intentions.”  Oh and I may have said he was acting like a “dick” at some point … Yeah, apologies, that is a phrase I use, not actually on Phase 1 before this point.  It’s just so concise and jerk is just not strong enough sometimes!!  Is it bad that it’s a little bit funny looking back at how intense I got, since it’s been very resolved on that front since?  Like I’m kind of embarrassed that I am that intense of a person.  You know, as if someone took a picture of my battle face and I’m looking back at it now like  “That’s what I look like angry, huh?”

Which isn’t to say that I rage posted.  I don’t rage post.  Case in point, how the thread that sparked this whole post is now over two years old, and I began writing this post over a month ago.  I am meticulous and thorough and attempt to predict the reactions my words and choices will evoke, as is my one-true-mental-love as an ENTP.

I stayed up all night writing that post, trying to imagine how he would reply to different parts and trying not to let him wiggle out of it, and yet wanting to give him the opportunity to do better if he wanted to.

I am a very passionate person, I’ll give you that for sure.  People and things mean more to me than I can ever say, often against my will.  But that means while I get really truly incensed about plenty of topics, I will never write an angry message to someone if I have no hope of getting through to them.  Like this post for example; there’s a reason it isn’t addressed to the people over on that thread.  I have hopes of actually communicating with very many of *you,* however I won’t try and communicate with them.  I don’t have any hope that that would do squat.

Ask Justin’s brother, also ETP, sometime about the intense face-slap email I sent him, he’s definitely never forgotten it.  But I would never have sent it if I didn’t respect him and his ability to apply things and desire to grow.  (He replied epically to it, btw.)  If I ever get truly angry with you, and let you know it, know that I respect you enough to believe it’ll make a difference to address the issue with you.

ETPs need to be poked as much as poke (saying that is going to get me into trouble with people lovingly poking me, heh), and I wanted to poke this ESTP hard enough to get a reaction of change, and I poked as hard as I felt he personally needed, based on knowing him personally and knowing his cognition.

But the INFP woman in question immediately replied informing us that you never ever ever (need a bunch more evers) speak to someone that way!  She said we were mean and rash and harsh and she would have no part in it!  And for the record, she was definitely not the only one concerned.

The post I wrote *was* in fact harsh, but it was not a knee-jerk reaction.  It was a calculated move decided upon, based on love for the person I was talking to, and the hope that snapping him out of the way he was acting would induce him to be *more*, which I hoped he could be.

And if you consider “lovingly harsh” to be an oxymoron—if you believe that there could never be a situation where harshness would be the appropriate reaction in order to get through to someone you care about—then this may not be the place for you, especially the later Phases of aLBoP.  aLBoP is a place for adults to come of age, and attitudes that say “you always deal with people this way or that way” are, frankly, childish and therefore wouldn’t fit in with the atmosphere of aLBoP’s later Phases.

We deal with people on a case by case basis, not by one-size-fits-all rules, and this was actually what I thought would be most effective.  And to be honest, it worked.  He immediately stopped in his tracks and said “I’m sorry, what can I do differently?”  Honestly, his reaction was much more epic and adult than I expected it to be, but I did anticipate that the best way to handle an ESTP acting that way, was to shock him to get his attention, and stop him in his tracks.

But this INFP woman didn’t care whether or not it worked.  She was all too pleased to be indignant.  She told the forum (if I remember correctly) that she was leaving, and also emailed to chastise us again, and to tell us she was leaving.  We emailed her a short but polite “sorry you feel that way” email, but tbh were pretty pleased to see her go.  (Now when I say “polite,” I actually mean polite.  I don’t consider my harsh post in question to be polite, for example, but it wasn’t intended to be polite.)

She was actually one that we *did* have a video chat with before we even launched Phase 2 (you guys see why I didn’t want to carry them in the store anymore?), after we had typed her.  And while we made it very pleasant and answered all the questions she had, to her stated satisfaction, Justin and I both could tell there was something about aLBoP that made her very uncomfortable.  He and I discussed afterward, “that was good… right?” “yeah, but we had to make it good.”  I could go into the ins and outs of what made her uncomfortable, things having to do with her Type Angst, blah blah blah, but that just seems petty at this point.  Interestingly, I talked about her in What if I’m not the Type I Thought I Was and referred to her as a “cool INFP.”

I was being nice.

I will say, disappointingly, that there has definitely been an FP trend among the people who have been the least cool about aLBoP.  I mean, I know soooo many cool FPs, and I suspect we get more of them, quantity-wise, since their Type Specs are all about the meaning that they can get out of Individuals and Situations <3 and I think and hope that aLBoP is right down that alley.  But when an unhealthy FP feels like we’re a threat to their own personal meaning, watch out!  We’ve especially had a lot of ESFP and ENFP guys (more often guys than girls, interestingly) who have approached us as “nice guys” with obvious warning signs, that when they ended up showing their true colors were anything but nice.  I won’t go into tales of the one who wouldn’t stop emailing me in all-caps not-so-nice words, or the one who spammed comments about how ENTPs didn’t have feelings.  I don’t make character judgments flippantly, especially negative ones.  And unfortunately, my spotting of warning signs has proved depressingly accurate, as individuals have demonstrated with later actions.

But in a twist of couldn’t-get-more-ironic, the reason I decided to write this post was because Justin was chatting with the very ESTP she had said I was abominably too hard on.  He’s been one of our biggest supporters ever since, both in having our backs with emotional support and sharing aLBoP, and he’s been ridiculously generous on Patreon (I hope it’s okay to share that, I never know what is couth when it comes to talking about money and donations ).

Lol, when he found out about people discussing him on that thread he was like “Hey, they’re talking about me!  That’s pretty cool.” ROFL, could he *be* any more ESTP?!  Idec, I love you, you are seriously amazing and I can learn a lot from how you let stuff roll off of you!! <3

But he had a friend whom he’d been telling about aLBoP, and the friend saw the “scam” link and got wary, so I felt like it was finally time to address this.  I have better things to do than tell people on the internet that they’re wrong, but when it’s deterring other people who are looking for aLBoP, then that’s something I need to try and fix.

*Whew* sorry this has been so long!

But I don’t want you guys to worry that this has delayed posting at all.  The only major posts this year have been The Dragon, like I said, and the Four Types of Love, both of which I am ridiculously proud of, although I have been worried sick about not posting more, especially since you guys have earned it with Patreon all year; don’t think I’ve forgotten it!!

But the reasons we have been gone so much are somewhat other aspects of aLBoP, working on later “Phase” stuff, especially training people who want to help us help all of you guys more, but also working on our own personal situation as well.

In June I was offered a part-time job by an INTJ friend of mine that I really respect, at his business, and I felt like it was the perfect time.  (For the record, he doesn’t know I’ve typed him shhh )  And while I’m really enjoying it and I think it’s benefitting aLBoP, I felt fairly overwhelmed and anxious the first few weeks, so that took a lot of my attention at first.  But really, there’s been plenty of other aspects going on with us working things out to establish ourselves for the long haul.

Which, for the record, the part-time job is in financial planning, so I had to have a background check for it, which I passed, so I guess the FBI doesn’t believe I’m a danger to people’s money if that helps with the whole “scam” thing lol… Unless that’s a ruse and they’re watching me *right now.* O_O  Considering that I’m writing this from the bathtub, that would be super pervy.

However, apparently I have very little fingerprints left, I guess from my skin condition, so I am considering a life of crime.  If anyone has any suggestions, please leave them in the comments below.

Anyway, I have two short Super Simple posts almost done, working on a new format for shorter posts and faster posting, so I hope to get those out to you guys ASAP.  I will make up for all the months I’ve missed, I swear!!  Thank you guys for your patience as always.  And for your trust of us as a source.  I can’t tell you how much it means to me those times when people are impugning our character (which thankfully seems to be happening less and less these days), to know you beloved readers are out there; knowing that you know us, love us and have our backs.  I couldn’t ask for a better audience or better friends. <3

My hope in clearing this up is to just soothe people’s worries and hopefully overcome misleading search results so that new people can find aLBoP every day, and hopefully feel like who they are and the way they think naturally is worthwhile and wanted.

Much love, <3 Calise

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