#eyepokes

For all the dread that was accruing from waiting and planning the next steps to come, it did make one thing very clear to him: At long last, Natharai had friends and family now. They were his solace, his shield, and one of the few things on this Light-forsaken ball of dirt he would fight for. While the fear of these future experiments failing was disquieting, it also brought about the urge to reach out to those he cherished before the opportunity to do so escaped him.

On this evening, his thoughts drifted to a trio he had not seen in a very long time due to a variety of reasons: Moving, work conflicts, and the usual excuses for failing to keep in touch mixed in with a hearty dose of guilt and self-loathing between him and the fire-haired paladin. Well, no longer would he rely on those crutches – not tonight.

Pulling out his writing materials, Natharai set to writing some long overdue letters. The first of two read:

Dear Miles and Auroran,

It has been forever since we had last spoke and I profusely apologize for my silence over the months. That said, I hope that your new home in Pandaria has been everything you wished for and then some. If I recall, little Iris was talking about your garden and about all the vegetables she wanted to plant. If her enthusiasm on the subject remains, I have no doubt in my mind that you all must have some of the finest produce outside of the Valley of the Four Winds.

Business here has been essentially the usual for us: Arenvald’s little cottage industry is doing well with his variety of homemade products and I am still largely getting by via trade, investments, and the odd research project here and there. I also presented a lecture on counteracting fel magic recently through a scholastic organization called the Mageroyal Society. It is odd, isn’t it? Only a few years ago I would not be caught dead talking about this subject in public and now here I am giving presentations…

Japhet is nearing eighteen years of age at a rapid pace and the boy is eager to stretch his wings. Even though he has yet to stay with us for a full three years, he has learned much in his relatively brief stay with us. He reads extraordinarily well, his penmanship has improved, and it is heartening to hear that he might want to do something with himself outside of his family’s traditional trade. I will not lie, the sentiment gladdens me immensely since the boy is far too bright to be a gravedigger.

In more personal news, I also would like to inform you both that I have begun taking steps with a duo of alchemists (one of which is a certified doctor) to begin a variety of tests to hopefully assist in righting my physical frailty. They are good people and I trust them, so I hope the topic does not cause too much worry.

I apologize for the dour turn this letter has taken, however I suppose there is no real happy way to go about it. I would very much like to hear from you both, if not see you, in the not too distant future – schedules permitting. I miss you both tremendously and would like nothing more than to share a cup of tea together like the old days.

Though until then, I wish you all nothing but the best.

With Love, Natharai

With the first letter folded, sealed away, and ready for sending, the warlock began to pen the final letter of the bunch. It read:

Dearest Iris,

I hope you can forgive me for neglecting to write to you for so long, but please know that you have been in my thoughts in all the months we have been apart. How has your life in your new home been treating you? I bet that you and your green thumb have been growing carrots and apples so big that they would put those farmers in the Valley to shame!

I do miss you terribly, little one, and I hope you and I can visit one day soon. Until then, please enjoy the gifts I have sent to you and your parents. Uncle Aren also sends his love and put in a few treats of his own. Try the mango, they are wonderful!

With Love, Uncle Natharai

True to the letter’s promise, when the two envelopes were prepared they were both packed in a small shipping crate along with a variety of goodies. Upon its opening, the recipients could see hand-milled soaps of lavender, cedar, and rosewater, packages of dried fruit (mango, ginger, and peach), and fresh preserves from the Highlander’s spring harvest.

For little Pokes, Natharai included two storybooks, a pretty resin-coated pink orchid petal suspended on a thin gold chain, and a box of twenty-four colored pencils. The books in question were about a little princess who journeyed across strange new lands upon the back of her faithful frog steed and a Gilnean story about a lonely wolf howling at the moon. The warlock was torn on whether or not to send the latter since it was a sad story, but it was one that she could surely appreciate.

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

People have been discussing what to do about accidental eyepokes in mixed martial arts for some time now. There is no way to fix the gloves so that eyepokes are impossible without fucking up the grappling game. There are two problems with the eyepoke: First, the refs almost never see them. Second, there is absolutely no detriment to the poker.  

With regard to the first issue, they need to start letting the fighters signal when there's been an eyepoke in order to stop the action. The way things are now, if the ref doesn't see it and one guy reacts like he's clearly been poked in the eye, the ref does nothing. Then the pokee has to hope that the other guy doesn't fucking murder him while he can't see. That happened more than once tonight at UFC 159.