#elbows

Ohhh my fucking God stop making horror games for people with knees and elbows

*puts your kneecaps where your elbows are supposed to be*

God: Make sure they can't lick their elbow. Absolutely forbidden. No amount of flexibility, no length of tongue can break this. Angel (scribbling notes): got it God: That's really important. Rule number one. Write that down. Angel: Rule number one? Really? God (glares one-thousand-eyedly) God: Ok, next… hmmm… Make it so they can't scratch their ear with their Elbow. That's a big one too. I can't stand the idea of them doing that. Angel (double underlines the no ear scratching with elbow) God: Also the forehead. And the chin. Make it kinda close if they try the back of the head but it's a problem of rotating the arm round that stops the elbow to back-of-head scratching. Angel (absolutely scrawling notes, struggling to keep up): mm hmm. mm hmm. God: You know what? Fuck it! Absolutely no elbow to head contact! Neck? Nope. Anything you could argue is head, that stays the fuck away from them elbows! I don't care how you do it. Get creative. They mustn't suspect this is important to me though. Angels (look at each other quizzically and just get back to making notes) God: They can have hair though. Let that be bendy as fuck. A secret cheat code so they have to argue about whether it's possible for head to touch elbow. Angel: Um, ma'am, are you sure- God: Oh and and the hair should grow extra fucking long but only on the top of the head. You know what? No limit to head hair length at all! Fuck that shit up. There's no way they'll understand why I did that. They'll think I have nothing against elbow to head contact. Little do they know, those stupid fuckers, that I don't consider hair to be head. Angel: Anything else ma'am? God: Nah, you think up the rest.