#eyeofthedrgn

Wille doesn’t think he’s ever felt this sick and out of it in his life. To be completely fair, he probably could’ve gotten a handle on this before it got this bad, but his mother had hammered the point into his head that “the Crown Prince should  never appear weak” so what had started as a minor cold had become… hell. It had become hell. His head was fuzzy, he was sure he had a fever, he had chills but was also burning up, his throat felt like he’d just taken up sword swallowing and he wasn’t very good at it. In short, Wille felt like shit. He knows he probably looks like shit too. He curses his past self for not taking it easy and resting but with all the new responsibilities of crown prince and returning to Hillerska after Christmas, with all the stares and whispers and Simon, he instead thought he could just push through it when it was just a runny nose. Fat chance of good that did him now. Deep down, a part of him wondered if he let it get this bad on purpose as a punishment for his behavior before Christmas. He tried to push those thoughts away knowing they wouldn’t do him any good right now. Plus, in a wild turn of events, Wille and Simon had somehow developed a tentative friendship since Wille’s been back. 

When he initially returned to school his first mission was to find Simon and, even if he pushed him away, tell him that August was the one who had posted the dreaded video. He had been almost eaten alive by the guilt over the holidays over not telling Simon on that last day before break but he had just wanted to give Simon the chance to have, at least somewhat of a, joyus holiday. He knew it was pretty unlikely that he hadn’t managed to completely  fuck up Simon’s chance at a happy winter break with all of his drama, but he still hoped it was the case anyways. It was part of the reason he didn’t text Simon the information either, although part of the reason for that was the minor fear that Simon had blocked him and wouldn’t get the message anyways. He knew this was something that had to be done in person, so even if Simon didn’t ever want to talk again after, he was determined to let Simon know who had ruined them beyond recognition. 

He knew the conversation was not going to go well when he’d finally approached Simon on their first day back, looking as beautiful as ever though a twinge went through Wille at the dark circles under Simon’s eyes that hinted at restless nights, and Simon had immediately turned away from him. 

“Wille, please. I can’t do this today. Not yet at least,” Simon practically pleads. Wille hates himself even more for having to push past this boundary that Simon is clearly trying to set, but this is important. 

“I understand you don’t want to speak with me Simon. But this is really important.,” Simon still had his face buried in his locker looking for a nonexistent book, his shoulders had become even more tense the longer Wille stood there. “Look, you don’t have to ever talk to me again after this if you don’t want to. But Simon, please.” He noticed Simon’s eyes flick to him when the word please, softened like butter, had flown out of Wille’s mouth. Wille lowered his voice even more and cast his eyes around. Luckily the hallways were practically empty. “It’s about the video,” That got Simon’s attention. His face snapped. Simon’s eyes darted across Wille’s face, clearly searching for some sort of answer to what this could be, before settling on Wille’s eyes. Wille put all the emotion he could into making his expression as open and vulnerable as possible. Simon let out a big sigh, Wille tried to bite back a small smile knowing that he had him, before nodding slowly. 

“Fine,” Simon then gestured to the open door of the empty music room a few paces down. As Wille led Simon into the room and closed the door, the feeling of deja vu wrapped around him and squeezed at his chest. The last time they had been in here, Wille had never felt more helpless around Simon before. He was feeling that right then. Wille brought his hand up to his lips and bite at his nail but quickly pulled it away again, knowing that Simon’s eyes were on him. Wille’s were on the floor, not quite able to look Simon in the face when he explained who had ruined Simon’s life… Well apart from him of course. It was quiet between them for a few moments as Wille tried to organize his thoughts and Simon, who had always been more patient with him than he ever deserved, let him. However the silence started to stretch and bend, but not yet break, as Wille’s mind raced from how to tell Simon this into… Should he tell Simon this. Especially when he doesn’t have a plan on how to fix it. Eventually it seemed like Simon gave up on waiting for Wille.

“Well? What do you have to tell me,” Wille’s eyes darted up to meet Simon’s quickly, where Wille himself actually entered the room Simon had stayed right at the door probably so he could make a quick exit if things went south, before darting away. Simon sighed again, though this time Wille could tell he was getting frustrated. 

“Wille please. I don’t have time for this.” Simon sounded so defeated and lost that it brought Wille’s eyes back to his. Wille realized he couldn’t drag this out any further. Simon deserved to know even if it didn’t change anything. 

“I know…” Wille started then stopped again, eyes still skittish. “I know who posted the video,” At Simon’s sharp inhale, Wille looked back at him. This time he didn’t let himself look away. Simon looked like he wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or angry or anxious so he settled on an expression  that somehow conveyed all three.

“Well?” Simon insisted. Wille took a deep breath, both quelling his own anxiety as well as his rising anger at the information he had. 

“It was August,” At the expression on Simon’s face over this, Wille almost wished he could take it all back. Simon looked resigned, angry, heartbroken, but also like he should’ve seen this coming.

“August…” Simon scoffed. “Of course it was August. Who else could it have been?” Wille stayed silent as he let Simon work through his emotions. Something seemed to occur to him.

“Wait… How long have you known about this?” Wille was dreading this question. He looked away, and hugged himself with his arms trying for some comfort but being unsuccessful.

“Felice figured it out right before break and told me,” Simon scoffed again, Wille flinched at it being directed at him.

“Before break… and you didn’t think to tell me when you first found out?” Simon’s voice rose slightly. Wille kept his gaze firmly on the floor now, not wanting Simon to see the tears steadily building up at the corner of his eyes. 

“I.. I just…” Wille started out stuttering. “I just wanted you to have a nice holiday. I didn’t want out last conversation to be about that,” Simon let out a harsh laugh at that.

“That wasn’t your choice to make Wille. I deserved to know,” Wille nodded at Simon’s words. He knew he had fucked up. He always just seemed to keep fucking up around Simon. 

“I know. And I’m sorry. It’s why I wanted to tell you as soon as I could after coming back.” Wille looked back up at this, Simon still looked disappointed before something seemed to occur to him. 

“But… wait. If you knew it was August, I’m positive you would’ve mentioned something to your mother.” They were getting to the part of this that Wille hated even more. “So why the fuck do I still see him wandering the halls of Hillerska?” 

“My mom…” Wille stopped to get a hold of himself. “My mother appears to have already known… before I had even made the statement,” At this Simon’s mouth dropped open. “She says the reason she didn’t tell me is she knew I’d ‘react like this’ whatever that means. Nothing is going to happen to him because she’s protecting him. But Simon,” He takes a tentative step towards where Simon is still stationed at the door looking ready to bolt. “ You have to know that if I knew who had posted the video or knew that she had known before I made my statement, I never would’ve made it,” This didn’t seem to be the right thing to say. Simon’s face darkened at the mention of the video.

“I… I don’t know if that makes it any better Wille,” Simon’s voice cracks at the same time as Wille’s heart. Wille nods.

“I understand.” They briefly stood together in their grief. Wille could feel the panic and sadness rising in him again. While he knew this conversation wasn’t going to fix anything, he had hoped they’d at least come out of it less broken. He wanted to be out of this room. He knew it probably made him a coward to want to run from this but he’d never claimed to be brave. He also didn’t want Simon to witness just how broken this all had left him. “That was all I had to say. Now if you want, you never have to speak to me again,” Wille’s voice hitched at the thought of him and Simon going through the rest of Hillerska, practically strangers who somehow knew just how the other person liked to be kissed, tears now making their way down Wille’s cheeks. He squeezed his arms even harder around himself, though it did little to help.

“Wille,” Simon’s voice was soft but broken. Wille interrupted not being able to handle that tone of voice. “Honestly, it’s okay Simon. You wanted space and I’ll give you as much space as you want for as long as you need. I’m sorry I pushed you to talk even now.” At his next words he made sure to look Simon in his eyes even though it broke him in two. “You deserve for everything to be on your terms now.” That seemed to break something in Simon, because tears were now running down his cheeks as he tried to keep them at bay. Wille couldn’t help himself. He walked right up to Simon and hugged him just like he’d wanted to since he’d let go of him before the break. Wille melted into Simon and his familiar smell and his familiar warmth. Simon held on just as tight, hiding his face in Wille’s neck. Wille could feel where his shirt was getting wet with Simon’s tears but there would’ve had to be a natural disaster going on outside for him to have pulled away. They cried against each other for what could have been hours or minutes or years or seconds. Wille knew they’d missed part of a class at least. Eventually Wille slowly started to pull back. He felt his heart clench at the small whimper that managed to escape Simon’s lips before they clamped down. Wille brought his hands from around Simon’s shoulders up to his face, where he gently brushed Simon’s tears away with his thumbs. Wille noticed Simon shiver at the soft touch. In a quiet voice, looking Simon in the eyes, Wille mumbled

“I’m serious, Simon. You don’t owe me anything. You can’t take all the time you want. I won’t force anything from you after this,” Simon’s eyes bore into his, so beautiful and so broken. Wille slowly brought his lips down and brushed them against Simon’s cheek, who closed his eyes and let out a breath at the soft touch. “Just don’t give up on me yet,” Wille whispered against Simon’s ear before slowly pulling all the way back, so they were only connected by a single joined hand. Simon looked him in the eye and opened his mouth. Wille braced himself.

“I could never,” Wille squeezed Simon’s hand and offered him a small but genuine smile that Simon just barely returned. Then Simon nodded once and opened the door. Wille let him. 

That whole conversation felt like a lifetime ago, but since then Wille and Simon had slowly but surely built back up to a friendship. Neither were ready to cross the line into something more yet, but they could both confidently say the other was their best friend. If they sometimes clung to each other a little longer than necessary or Simon caught Wille’s eyes on him lingering longer than strictly friendly, well they didn’t mention it. 

Either way, the second Wille had woken up on this day feeling like death warmed over, all he wanted was to go to Simon’s. A few weeks after Simon and Wille had started up their tentative friendship again, Simon had invited Wille to come over and, although he had originally protested worried that Linda hated him, Wille couldn’t deny the opportunity to spend time with Simon. It also seemed like his worries were for naught because the second he stepped into Simon’s house again, he was being pulled into a warmed, loving embrace by Linda. He melted into it completely and almost missed Simon’s unbearably fond expression at the scene in front of him. So yes, he wanted to spend time with Simon, who was slightly exasperated with him for not taking better care of himself, but what’s more is he wanted to spend time in Linda’s warm company. His own mother had never known how to deal with a sick Wille (or a sick anyone for that matter) so he’d never experienced the loving way Linda cares for her children when they’re even slightly under the weather. He knew for a fact that Simon wouldn’t even be home yet, since he had choir practice and Sara had riding, but Linda had always said that Wille was welcome anytime and right now, Wille was having a hard time resisting that pull. 

He doesn’t even know how he managed it, but somehow he found himself in front of the Erikkson’s door. He was knocking before he’d meant to and then the door was opening and Linda’s angelic face was on the other side. Wille’s pretty sure he even caught sight of a halo over her head but that could very well have been a hallucination from having a fever of 102. 

“Wille!” See, this is why Wille came here. No one was ever this excited to see Wille. 

“Hi Linda,” Wille attempted a smile but it probably came across as a grimace. He’s not sure how Linda didn’t immediately catch on to how awful he felt considering how awful he must look, but Linda had always been too polite for her own good. However she did let Wille come into the house, Wille vaguely noticed that Malin was hovering just slightly behind him. Huh, I guess that’s how I got here. Linda turned to him once he’d entered.

“I’m afraid Simon isn’t here,” Linda looked sincerely apologetic.

“Oh yes… I know that already,” Wille was pretty sure he was going to start swaying pretty soon. He caught on to the slightly confused expression on Linda’s face.

“Sara isn’t here either,” Now Wille was starting to feel a little sheepish at coming here.

“No, I know that too.” Linda studied him for a few more moments and then seemed to actually clock in to the fact that something was wrong.

“Wille, are you okay?” Wille tried to nod his head rapidly but that just made him dizzy and he put his hand out against the wall. 

“Umm. Not really,” Wille tried to look directly at Linda who now looked sincerely worried. 

“Do you need me to call Simon?” Wille panicked at the idea of Linda worrying Simon over something like this.

“No no. I just… ummm I haven’t been feeling too well today and… I just wanted to be somewhere that makes me feel safe… and that’s… well here but also I kinda wanted to be around you since I know you take care of Simon and Sara when they’re feeling sick and I…” Wille could tell he was just gearing up before suddenly he was pulled into some loving arms. He melted into it immediately, feeling the motherly glow of Linda. Even though Linda was significantly shorter than Wille now, he felt just like a kid again in her arms, burying his face in her neck.

“Of course I can take care of you. You shouldn’t even have to ask,” Linda whispered into Wille’s ear. Wille nodded before seeming to realize this close contact wasn’t the best idea. Hating himself slightly for it, he pulled gently out of Linda’s arms, who rubbed her hands down his arms comfortingly. 

“I shouldn’t be hugging you. I don’t want to get you sick too,” Linda waved her hand at this.

“I don’t get sick. Don’t even worry about it,” Then before Wille could protest, Linda’s hand was reaching up to his forehead.

“You sure are burning up though, how would you feel about laying down. I’m sure Simon wouldn’t mind you borrowing his bed for a few hours,” Wille felt entirely too weak to resist the idea of sleeping in a bed surrounded by the smell of Simon so he just nodded, leaning heavily into Linda. She easily took his weight and led him down the hallway into, what Wille knew to be, Simon’s bedroom. 

“Give me one moment Wille,” Linda had Wille lean up against Simon’s desk as she pulled back Simon’s covers and grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms from Simon’s drawers. It didn’t take too long and before he knew it, Linda was sticking her hand out for Wille to take, which he happily did, and led him to the bed. She had him sit down first.

“Do you want to change into something a little more comfortable?” Wille nodded sleepy at those words, before slipping his own shirt off and taking the pants from her. He knew that when he was more aware of it, he would be embarrassed about stripping in front of Linda, but right now he couldn’t be bothered to care about that. Once he was changed, Linda gently helped him lay back in bed. He melted into the pillow and the surrounding smell of Simon before he felt the covers being brought up around him. His eyes fluttered as he felt a gentle hand against his forehead and a whispered

“Sleep now, Wille,” He felt so safe and so comfortable and he was quickly slipping into dreamland but he let one thing slip before he did.

“Thanks Mama,” He didn’t hear a response as he was dragged under. 

                              —--------------💜💜💜—----------------

Meanwhile Simon was slightly panicking. He hadn’t heard from Wille all day, nor had he really seen him. When he had seen Wille, Wille had seemed so out of it he hadn’t even noticed Simon was there. Simon was worried. He knew Wille hadn’t been feeling great all week, had been pushing him to rest, but Wille had been stubborn. Simon had texted Wille a few times to no response, which was already strange because Wille almost always responded. Simon saw a text from Linda pop up at the top of his screen as he refreshed his messages with Wille hoping for some form of response, but he brushed her message away, pretty sure it was about dinner or something. Then Simon had been called into Choir practice and had been able to distract himself for a little while even if Felice had made his worries flare up again by saying she also hadn’t seen or heard from Wille for most of the day. Simon ignored the face Felice made over Simon’s clear distress for Wille. Simon would have felt this way if any of his friends had gone off the raider. I mean, yeah he was pretty sure he was in love with Wille and had been since Wille had said it to him all those months ago, but that doesn’t change the fact that he would do this for any of his friends. 

When he finally left choir practice Simon pulled out his phone but he still didn’t have any messages from Wille. He decided to check Wille’s room once more to make sure Wille wasn’t just hiding away for whatever reason. When he got to Wille’s he was almost immediately sure that Wille wasn’t there because Malin wasn’t stationed outside but he knocked anyway. Not getting a response, Simon yet again started to panic. Pretty soon, Sara would be getting annoyed for having to wait for him so slowly Simon made his way to the stables, thinking maybe just maybe Wille might be there. 

He didn’t find Wille, just a frustrated Sara who he apologized to profusely. He quickly explained why he’d been late and she softened slightly at that.

“Maybe text Mama and see if she knows anything,” Simon thought about that for a moment and realized it couldn’t hurt. He also remembered the message she had sent before choir practice and felt guilty over having ignored it for so long. However a completely different emotion filled up Simon when he actually read her message.

Hi Mi amor. Just letting you know that if you’re looking 

for your boy, he’s resting here. He looked pretty worn 

out and seemed to need a place to crash. ❤️

Simon let out a breath of relief at knowing Wille was safe and then a whole new emotion filled him when he realized that Wille had gone to his house, knowing Simon wasn’t there, because he needed comfort from Simon’s mother. If Simon thought about it too long he might just burst into tears.

Gracias mama I was getting worried

when I couldn’t find him. How is he?

He seemed pretty out of it but he’s sleeping and

hasn’t woken up so I’m letting him rest.

I think he’d probably appreciate it if you

were here when he wakes up

Yeah Sara and I are on our way back now

Now that Simon knew where Wille was, he couldn’t get home fast enough. Sara seemed to notice his change in emotion because she didn’t comment, just let Simon drag her to the bus. By the time the siblings got back to their house, Simon practically broke the door down in his haste to open it.

“Jesus, Simon. He’s not going to disappear,” Sara teased. Simon just huffed and walked through the door. Immediately heading for his mom.

“How is he?” He knew he still sounded slightly panicked but Linda didn’t comment on it. 

“He’s fine, Mi amor. He’s still resting. I was about to bring this soup in for when he woke up but why don’t you bring it up for him.” Simon nodded and took the tray from Linda. He gently opened his bedroom door, setting the tray down on the washer across the way as he softly closed the door again, before grabbing the tray again and bringing it into his room. He couldn’t help but melt slightly at the sight of Wille curled up in his sheets. He quietly walked over to his desk, placing the tray on it before he was surprised by a sound behind him.

“Simme?” Simon’s heart jumped, both at the surprise of hearing Wille’s voice and at the nickname. When Simon turned around, Wille’s eyes were hazy but open, settled gently on him. He kept his own voice quiet when he responded.

“Hi Wille. I brought some soup if you want some,” Instead of answering that, Wille stuck his hand out and Simon couldn’t do anything but take said hand. He gently brushed Wille’s hair off his face as he looked down at the boy in front of him. He felt like he was filled with molten lava over the feelings that were rushing through him.

“Come down here,” Wille gently tugged at Simon’s hand. Simon nodded but released Wille’s hand anyways. Wille let out a sound like a whimper that Simon quickly squashed, bringing his hands through Wille’s hair again.

“I’ll join you in a moment. I’m just going to change into something more comfortable.,” That seemed to placate Wille for now because he let him go and Simon, as quickly as possible, changed into some pajama pants and a shirt. He would brush his teeth later. He slipped back over to where Wille was, who opened his eyes again when he sensed Simon coming closer. Wille grabbed Simon’s hand and tugged again.

“Okay okay Wille,” Simon chuckled lightly. He then climbed over Wille into the small bed behind him. Simon then wrapped his arms around Wille from behind, who seemed to melt into the touch immediately. Simon knew this wasn’t strictly friendly but he didn’t really care at the moment. Not when he had Wille in his arms again. 

“Will you stay with me Simon?” Wille’s voice was barely a whisper and heavy with sleep and raspy from his, what Simon had to guess, sore throat, but Simon heard it just the same. He briefly tightened his arms around Wille before responding.

“Don’t worry, I’m staying right here,” That seemed to be enough for Wille because he nodded, probably more to himself than to Simon, then he sighed. 

“Thank you.” Simon thought that that was going to be it, but as sleep pulled Wille under he uttered one more thing. “Love you, Simme,” Simon freezed. It’s not like this was new information. Even though he hadn’t said it since, Simon knew Wille had loved him since well before Christmas. However, Wille had been very careful with Simon’s boundaries since. He made sure that Simon was comfortable with everything and always made sure Simon knew that he could take moments to himself if things got to be too much, even if they were only friends. It doesn’t change the fact that hearing those words again from Wille, despite it probably being a byproduct of being sick, filled Simon with a feeling that he could only describe as pure, unadulterated relief and joy. 

He waited a few moments to hear Wille’s deepened breathing, making sure Wille was asleep, before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on Wille’s forehead.

“I love you too, Wille,” Even though Wille couldn’t hear him, Simon still felt insanely happy over being able to voice those three words to Wille.