#exwife!reader

You were both in the kitchen. The kitchen island between you and Noah physically showing the rift that has grown between the two of you in the past years, as each one of you stood on one side.

The folder set on the counter was like a giant elephant in the room. It felt like it was staring, and mocking you. You felt like it was looking you in the face and saying "see? You failed. You failed at keeping this marriage together. And I'm the proof of it".

Neither you nor Noah have said anything since you handed him the papers and he looked through them. The silence felt like it was swallowing you two alive. You wanted him to say something, even if it was to get angry at you.

He sighed out loud, and ran a hand through his hair. And in that moment, you couldn't help but think about how your going to miss doing it yourself.

Because divorcing him didn't only mean letting go of your marriage. It meant letting go of him. It meant he was no longer gonna be yours.

You would go to bed alone. You would only cook meals for two people instead of three. And you would have no one to tell about your day. No one to let know when you arrived somewhere, or when you were headed back home.

But then you remember you've been feeling this way for a long time already. What different would it make? He was never home anyway, you felt like you were in a one person marriage.

"Y/N", he said your name, startling you out of your thoughts. "What the fuck is this?", he asked, pointing to the folder in front of you.

He didn't sound angry, he didn't raise his voice. You think he actually sounded betrayed.

"I think you know what it is", you whispered, but the silence was so loud, he could hear you clearly.

"Where is this coming from?", he questions you, and for a second you think he must not be serious right now.

Did he not remember all of the fights you've had? Did he not remember the countless nights you've called him, crying and frustrated because you couldn't put your son to sleep? Did he not remember when you got a call from his school, saying that Ezra fell from the monkey bars and needed to be taken to the hospital? And you couldn't even call him, because he was on stage somewhere halfway across the world.

"I think this is a long time coming, Noah", you point out and you can tell he's getting frustrated with your short answers.

"Long time coming? For how long have you been thinking of divorcing me? How come we never sat down and talked about it?", he was getting agitated now. Pacing back and forth.

The truth is, you knew that if you had sat down and talked to him, he would make you the same promises he's made you before, and then you wouldn't go through with it.

And you needed this. You needed to stop pretending like this is working anymore. And now you need to make him see it too.

"I don't think you want to know for how long I've been thinking about it", you answered, truthfully.

"No, I need to know. I need to know when you started to give up on us"

You whip your head to look at him when he said this.

"Give up on us?", you ask, incredulity seeping into your tone. "How dare you say Im giving up on us when I've been trying to make this work for four years? How dare you say I'm giving up on us when all you've ever given me is nothing but empty promises?", you question him, patience vanishing.

You didn't want this to become a fight. But you guess it was always going to be this way.

"Nothing? You're standing here saying that I give you nothing? I've given you everything for the past five years of my life"

"How can you tell me you've given me everything when I've been telling you tour after tour how fucking lonely I feel everytime you're away?", you question him. Has he forgotten everything?

"And I've told you that I can't change that right now!", he exclaims, frustrated. "Don't you think I'd rather stay here with the two of you instead of going away for months? You think I don't beat myself up for missing so much of Ezra's life because I was away somewhere in fucking Europe?"

"You can't change that and I can't keep living like this", you shrugged, understading where he's coming from, but tired of hearing the same thing you've heard so many times before.

"And you think this is gonna fix it?", he grabbed the folder and slightly slammed it on the counter. "You're running away from the problem instead of trying to fix it"

"I can't run from something that can't be fixed. I can't wait four more years for you to be here for us. I just can't"

"What about Ezra? Are you even thinking about him? How is he gonna take this? How is this gonna change his life?"

This was the breaking point for you, Noah talking about your son as if you're completely disregarding his well-being in this situation. The only person you had in mind was your son.

So, you said something that, to this day, you regret telling him. Because as much as you wished he was home more, that he called more, you couldn't deny that he was an amazing father. He cared for Ezra with his whole life, and you could actually see so much of Noah in him that it surprised you at times.

But, what was said can't be taken back.

"I don't know, Noah. Is it even gonna make much of a difference? You're never here anyway, so I don't even think he'd notice the change"

As soon as you said this, you could see the fight leave his body. His shoulders slumped and his eyes became downcast as the realization of what you just said hit him in the face.

He looked away from you, and you wanted to take it back immediately, but how could you?

"I'll get some of the guys to get my shit tomorrow", he said, turning his back to you and walking to the living room, grabbing the key to his car.

"Noah...", you called out, following after him, even though you have no idea what you could even say to him.

"I think you've said enough", he told you, and you haven't seen his face as cold as it was in that moment in all of the years you've been together. Actually, what brought you the most comfort was the warmth of his eyes.

Leaving the house, he half slammed the door behind him, leaving you standing there with your thoughts.

Sitting on the couch, you absolutely crumbled. Not being able to hold your tears anymore. You laid down in a fetal position, sobs racking through your body and reverberating in the emptiness of the house.

Your family was over. You were on your own now. And for a split second, you questioned if you did the right thing.

All of your friends were looking at you as if you had grown two heads. And you were desperately trying to pretend that you weren't affected by what was said just a few seconds ago.

After separating from Noah, you still kept the same friends. It just happened that your friends were also his friends. Or, they were friends, or significant others of his friends. Hearing about him and what he was up to was unavoidable. But you had to give it to them, they actually did try to keep his name out of most conversations.

It wasn't like you never spoke to him ever again. You did, because you had a kid together, after all. But the conversations were about Ezra 90% of the time. Never straying to personal matters and other topics.

You congratulated him on new music, or a new album when it came out. You told him when something happened at school with Ezra, or when something happened at the studio and you'd be late picking up Ezra from his place.

After being on your own, you went back to pursuing your dreams of being a tattoo artist, which is something you've started doing before getting pregnant. With the baby and the responsabilities you had, you started working less and less, until you stopped altogether.

You were happy to say your studio was thriving for about four years now. It took a while for you to get your footing back. Both emotionally and financially. And obviously, to fit everything into Ezra's schedule.

Today, you were grabbing lunch with a few friends, amongst them, were Matt, Davis and their girlfriends. The band had a final show of their tour here in California, and they were all excited about it.

Apparently, a few people from the industry were invited, and the venue was going to be larger than normal, probably their largest crowd yet.

You felt happy for them. The band deserved it and so did Noah. Especially after how hard they all worked for this.

It was when they were listing all of the people invited, that Matt let slip a very important information.

"Yeah, we're inviting the boys from Erra, and we're thinking of the possibility of Jesse playing guitar on stage", Lilly, Matt's girlfriend said.

"Crimson Halo is also going. I'll love to see how the internet is going to freak out about that", Matt pointed out, laughing at the idea.

"Why would the internet freak out?", you questioned.

Everyone started to look at each other funny. As if they shared a secret, an information you weren't in on. You started to feel uncomfortable.

"Guys?", you questioned again. "Is someone gonna tell me what is going on?"

"I don't know if you're going to like it", Lilly said, looking at Matt. You were now more confused than ever.

"Noah is dating Emery. The lead singer of the band", Davis ripped off the bandaid, and a heavy silence settled over the table.

You, on the other hand, was trying to act unaffected, but it was becoming more difficult as everyone was staring at you, trying to gauge your reaction.

"Oh, okay", you said, honestly not knowing the right way to respond to this.

You knew Noah must have been with other women after your split. You never heard about it, but five years have gone by, he must have been dating around in that time.

But this was the first time it was confirmed to you that he was in a new relationship, and you didn't know what to feel. It must be serious though, since she's attending his concerts.

Not to mention the fact that your son is going to be there. What is Noah going to say? Is he gonna tell him he has a new girlfriend? How is your son going to react? You hated this, since you knew you weren't supposed to know about it. But now that you did, you guess you'll have to talk to him about the situation.

"For how long have they been together?", you ask.

"For a couple of months", Davis answered, and you appreciated his honesty.

"I just wonder when he was planning on telling me this", you said, reaching for a fry and popping it into your mouth, needing something to do while you stewed in this information.

"I don't know. We also found out recently", Matt told you, and you could tell he felt bad about how the situation was unfolding.

"I was probably gonna find out from some fan account on Twitter, right?", you joked, but it didn't land. The show is in a couple of days from now, and if Noah thought this information wasn't important enough to share with you, it means you were going to find out from some blurry picture of them kissing or whatever.

The thought made your heart beat faster with anxiety.

After this, it goes without saying that the vibe wasn't the same. And in less than an hour, everyone was saying their goodbyes, and hugging each other.

Lilly enveloped you in her arms, but before parting completely, she held you at arm's length and leaned a little closer.

"If you're worried about Ezra, just know that Noah would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship with his son", she told you, and you saw sincerity in her eyes.

You knew this. You knew that Noah was a responsible father. But still, the fact that you were in the dark about all of this left a bitter taste in your mouth.

"Thank, Lilly. I appreciate it", you smiled, and everyone went their own way.

Back home, you sat on the couch while Ezra did his homework on the kitchen table. You pondered if you should do anything about this new piece of information. By now, Noah must know that you knew about it, since Matt and Davis most likely told him already.

You should just be quiet, and let this be. It was his relationship. It was his decision to tell you or not.

But, despite knowing this. You still send him a text.

You: If you are serious about her, let me know, so we can think of a way to tell Ezra.

Yeah, you were never good at keeping to yourself when it comes to him.

A few seconds later, your phone buzzes with a reply.

Noah: Can I come over later?

You sighed. If Noah wants to show up at your house, then the talk he wants to have must be important. You texted him back an "ok". Good thing Ezra is spending the night at his grandma's tonight. Your mom has been dying for a sleepover, and since it was a Friday, spending the weekend there would be the perfect opportunity.

You and Noah had joint custody, but a flexible schedule due to his job. Even though Ezra spent the most amount of time with you, you never limited for how long he was with Noah whenever he was not on tour.

After dropping off Ezra at your mom's house, you grabbed take out on the way back home. One rule that you kept even after the divorce, is that Fridays were the days for take out, and not cooking.

Grabbing your meal and thanking the server, you put the car in drive. But before you could start making your way back home, your phone vibrated on the center console. You saw it was a text message from Noah.

Noah: I'm on my way.

You didn't bother to answer, since you were about 5 minutes from your house. You would most likely arrive just in time to meet him there.

As you predicted, as soon as you set the food container on the kitchen counter, you heard a knock on your door. Opening it, you were met with Noah on the other side of the door. He was dressed as he usually was. Dark pants and a Bad Omens hoodie. You kept some of those in your closet as well. You got rid of the ones that belonged to him, and that for some reason, he had left behind when he moved out. The other ones were too comfy to throw in the donation pile.

"Come in", you told him, stepping aside to let him in the house.

There were few times when he actually came into your house, oftentimes, he stayed in the car while Ezra took his backpack and ran along the driveway to meet his dad. Whenever you were running late, he came in, but never went further into the house than the living room and kitchen.

You heard him closing the door behind him, as you made your way back to the kitchen, opening a drawer and grabbing a fork.

"Still doing no cooking Friday, I see", he pointed out, sitting in one of the stools in the kitchen island.

"Yep. You know how it is", you answered, as you sat down yourself. You pointed to the food in front of you, silently asking if he wanted some, but he just shook his head no.

Right now, you weren't too sure if you wanted to have this conversation with him eating. But, oh well.

"Matt told me what happened today at lunch", he started.

"To say it was a little uncomfortable would be an understatement", you pointed out. You really didn't mean to be petty about this, but as soon as he touched on the subject, it just came out of you. You decided to dial it down a little bit. You didn't want this to become a fight.

"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you. I was just waiting for the right time"

"You couldn't find the right time in the couple of months you've been together?", you challenged him. He was talking as if he started dating this girl last week.

"I was never going to introduce her to Ezra without talking to you", Noah said. And it was true. He knew how protective you were of Ezra, and he was never going to take a miscalculated step that could affect his son's life.

"I believe you. It would just be nice to know"

He nodded, showing you he understood where you were coming from.

"But now that I know, we need to talk about how things are going to be from now on"

"I still don't pretend to introduce her as my girlfriend to him, Y/N"

You ignored the way he said "my girlfriend" tugged at your heart in a way you were not ready to admit.

"Ok, but what about when you decide to do it?", you question him.

"We've been separated for a while now. It would be natural for us to start dating other people. He's 9, he'll understand", he said and you sighed. Your son was a very emotionally mature kid, you gotta give him that.

"Just be careful when you do it, ok? I don't want him hurting", you pointed the fork at him when you said it. "And please, only do it if you know for sure that this girl is going to stick around"

You knew that Noah was completely aware of everything you were saying to him. But he let you say it anyway, because he knew it took a weight off your chest to do it.

"You don't have to worry about it", he reassured you, and you nodded in response. "This is not the only thing I came here to talk about"

You stopped chewing the second he said this. You had a feeling that whatever it was, wouldn't make you happy.

"Ezra is coming to the concert next friday, right?", he asked and you hummed in agreement. Every time the band performed here, Ezra would attend the concert. "I need you there with him this time", he said and you almost choked on your food.

"What?", you ask, indignation in your voice. Ever since separating, you never attented one of his concerts again. It was actually something you told him you did not want to do. Whenever Ezra would go, Alana would pick him up and stay with him the whole time, so you didn't have to worry.

"Alana is actually very sick this time, and she can't go. Ezra is really excited and I didn't want him to miss it", Noah explained.

"And you don't have anyone else?"

"Not really", he shrugged his shoulders. "Everyone else is going to be busy, and I can't be with him all the time"

You knew how chaotic it could get while getting ready for a concert. The boys would all be running around, making sure everything goes to plan. And truth be told, you didn't expect any of them to stop what they were doing to take care of a nine year old.

"I already told you I didn't want to go anymore", you said, head low. You suddenly didn't want to look at him anymore. You also lost your appetite, so your hand just stirred the food around with your fork aimlessly.

The thing is, going to these concerts were one of your favorite things to do when you and Noah were still together. You loved to watch him go up on the stage. You loved to watch him sing his heart out, and command the crowd in the way only he knew how to do.

In the last stages of your relationship though, it was such a bittersweet feeling. Because you knew that no matter what you did, nothing could ever compare to the thrill he felt up there. In a way, you resented the stage, but you started to understand why he went away for months and months to perform.

"Listen, you don't have to watch if you don't want to. But he needs you there this time", Noah said. You knew he was right, and you hated the idea of telling your son he wouldn't get to go.

"Ok, I'll be there", you decided. Not too excited about the idea, but there's nothing you could do about it right now. "Can you tell your girlfriend I'm going? Just so it isn't awkward or anything", you add.

"I will. You don't have to worry about that", Noah reassures you, and you nod in appreciation.

You take another bite of your food, as a silence falls over the two of you. It was always like this. Awkaward silences, trying to find something to talk about. It felt like you didn't have anything in common anymore. It felt like you couldn't relate to each other anymore. And you weren't sure of what hurt more, even after five years.

After a few more seconds, he stood up.

"I should get going", he said, grabbing his car keys set on the counter in front of him. You abandon your food in order to open the door for him.

"I'll se you on Friday, I guess", you tell him, as he steps onto your front porch.

"I'll see you. I'll get Matt to text you the details, along with your backstage pass", Noah informs you, you say thanks and then he's back on his car, peeling off the driveway.

Noah waits until he rounds the corner to stop his car. He feels like he needs to catch his breath. Every time he's inside your house, it takes all of the energy out of him. And this time, it's no different.

He replays the interation word by word in his head. When Matt had texted him, saying that he let it slip that Noah has a new girlfriend, he knew he needed to talk to you about it sooner rather than later.

He was just avoiding it, and for many reasons. Emery was a nice girl, but Noah would be lying if he said he saw a future for them. A future further than what they had right now. He didn't even know if he could call her his girlfriend. He never really asked her oficially, but after a couple of weeks of them being together, going out together, going to each other's places, he thinks he doesn't really need to say much. Besides, other people around him just started to refer to them as boyfriend and girlfriend, and he didn't have the heart to correct them.

He knows he should say something. He should say he's not emotionally available right now. He should say he's not looking for something long lasting. But, the truth is, he doesn't want to look like a fool. Because, the moment he says that, he knows he'll need to talk about you. Because you're the reason he hasn't been available for the past five years, and, honestly, how can he say that?

How can he say he hasn't moved on from a relationship that's ended five years ago? How can he say that you're still the only that can get his heart beating faster every time you look at him? How can he say that after everything you've said to him that night, he can still feel like you're the only one for him?

He knows he needs to talk about it. Maybe with a professional, like the boys have hinted at many times. He just feels like if he gets rid of these feelings, if he finally moves on, he'll be losing that last piece of you. That last piece of how you were together, despite the bad times and the fights. And he's not ready for that.

Pulling the car in drive again, he sighs out loud before starting to drive. He's headed to Emery's place. Earlier in the day, she had invited him for dinner, and he had said yes. Right now, he doesn't really feel like it, but he also doesn't feel like cancelling last minute. So he just drives.

When he arrives, Noah turns off his car and hops off, making his way to her front door and ringing the doorbell. When she opens the door, she's wearing this cute apron, and she greets him with a smile on her face and a peck on the lips, ushering him in.

The first thing Noah notices is the smell permeating the house, and his stomach grumbles almost instantly.

"What are you making?", he asks, pulling out a chair at the table and sitting down, as he watches Emery carry on what she was doing before he arrived.

"I'm just putting together a lasagna. You like that, right?", she asks, and he could've sworn he froze right there. Before she could catch him though, he schooled his features and told her that yes, he does like lasagna.

The dish just happened to be your specialty, though. Making lasagna used to be your favorite thing to do in the kitchen, and the preparation could take days, since you insisted to make the lasagna sheets from scratch, instead of those you buy at the store and just boil.

Needless to say, it was Noah's favorite dish of yours. Nothing could ever compare to it, and every time there was a get together, the boys always requested you made it, and you always said yes, with the biggest smile on your face.

For a second, Noah wondered if this would ever stop. Would there be a day when he wouldn't compare everything to how things were before? Would you ever stop permeating his every interation? Would there be a day when he wouldn't remember you when something like this happens? If yes, then how long more would he have to wait?

They sit down on the couch and talk, as a movie is playing in the background, and they're waiting for the dish to cool down a bit, since it was just pulled out of the oven.

"How are the preparations for the concert on Friday?", Emery asks. Noah takes a gulp of the beer she offered him.

"It's going well. There's only so much we can prepare for, you know?", he answers. One of the things they bonded over when they met was music, and since Emery also had her own band, she could understand a few things Noah went through with his.

"Yeah, I know", she agrees. "Some stuff are still gonna go wrong, anyways"

Noah thought this was a good time as any to tell her you were attending the concert. He didn't talk about you often when he's with her, and whenever he did, he could notice the girl grow a but uneasy at the topic of conversation.

Part of him wanted to tell her to not worry about it, that you've been split up for five years, and there was no way you would get back together. But the other part of him couldn't lie. If the opportunity ever presented itself, if you could ever talk about things and make the wrongs rights. If in some magic land you decided to try again, he would take that opportunity and never look back.

"By the way, I wanted to tell you something. Just so you're ready for it", he started, and she nodded for him to keep going. "Y/N is going to be there to accompany Ezra. Lana is the one who's usually with him, but since she's sick this time, his mom has to go"

As per usual, at the mention of your name, her smile falters a little and he can see her trying to conceal it.

"Oh, ok", she answers shortly, and he can see her struggling with her words.

"She wanted me to tell you, so things aren't awkward", Noah explained it further, not really knowing why. You're the mother of his kid, he doesn't really have to explain himself when it comes to this.

"You talk to her a lot?", she asks, changing the subject completely. Noah has caught her asking these questions lately, and he's been usually good at answering - or dodging - them. This time though, after everything that's happened today, he doesn't really have the emotional intelligence to answer her without letting some annoyance slip into his voice.

"Of course I do. We have a kid together", he tells her, not leaving much room for debate.

"I know that. I was just wondering if that would ever be a problem in the future, for us", he says, and Noah has to do some mental gymnastics to understand what the hell she is on about. When he doesn't say anything, she keeps going.

"Are you going to introduce me as your girlfriend?"

"She already knows about us"

Noah wanted to tell her that no, he's not introducing her as his girlfriend, because that's not what she is, but decided that's an argument he didn't want to have tonight.

"What about other people?", she asks again, and Noah gets frustrated with her questions.

"If you want to ask me something, just do it. You don't have to dance around the subject", he is upfront with her.

"When are you going to tell your son we're dating?", Emery asks, and for a second, Noah regrets asking for honesty. He rubs his forehead and sighs. Now he remembers more than ever why he's been avoiding relationships all this time.

"For him, you're my friend. And that's it", Noah answers with full honesty. That's one subject he is set on making it clear with Emery. He doesn't play about his son, and he needs her to know that. He's not ready for this, and if she can't understand that, then too bad for her.

"I feel like that's all I am to you as well", she says and he wants to bolt out of this house and end this conversation.

"Listen, Emery. This is what I can give you right now, ok? I told you from the beginning that I have a kid, and that things were going to be very different. You said that was ok, and now you want me to tell my son that we're together? It really doesn't work like that", Noah is losing his patience, and she could tell.

"If this is going nowhere, I just want you to be honest with me about it, because I won't play second to a woman who has been out of your life for five years", Emery says, getting up to set the table.

Suddenly, Noah feels suffocated in this house. He is dreading having to sit at the table with her and eat, pretending that this is ok. It is not ok, and he wantes to scream in her face to never talk about you like that ever again. That she couldn't understand, not in a million years, what you meant to him. She couldn't understand how you made him the happiest man alive. How you gave him the best thing that has ever happened to him. His son.

Instead, he gets up, mutters an "I can't do this", and leaves through the front door.

You're doing your makeup in the bathroom when Ezra comes in, calling out for you.

"Mom, look at my clothes", he stands there, and you turn around to take a look at him. A smile immediately taking over your face.

"You look great, buddy", you compliment him, eyes going up and down his small - but ever growing - frame. "Is that a new shirt?", you ask him, since you don't remember him having this Bad Omens shirt in his closet the last time you checked. You always had to keep an eye on him, especially after he started putting together his own outfits. You never knew what combination could come out of that closet.

"Yes, it is! Uncle Davis gave me one, and he said it's not even released yet, and I'm the only one who has it", his smile is even bigger now, his energy almost overflowing. Something Noah was adamant on doing, ever since having a kid, was create a Bad Omens merch line for kids. It was a total succes and has been for a few years now. Ezra even modeled a few times.

"Well, that sure is nice", you tell him, turning around and going back to your makeup. "I think you're missing something, though", you observe, and you see the lightbulb going off in his head, as he bolts out of the bathroom and back to his bedroom.

A few seconds later, he's back, tugging his fake tattoo sleeves up his arms.

"Thanks for reminding me, mom", he tells you, and you let out a genuine laugh at the way he's so relieved you remembered.

You loved those damn fake tattoo sleeves he always wears so much. It started off with him wanting to look just like Noah. But then, as you went back to working in the studio, he realized both of his parents were tattoo enthusiasts, and the habit had a whole new meaning for him.

You knew Noah would lose it when he sees him wearing them, despite seeing it a hundred times before, it never really gets old.

"I'm just finishing here. Why don't you wait for me on the couch?", you instruct and watch him leave once again.

You take a look at the clock and see that you still have a few minutes until you have to leave the house. You opted for an all-black outfit, with the intent to blend in as much as you could. You actually thought about the possibility of wearing one of your old merch shirts, but ultimately decided against it.

Last night, when you were overthinking and debating on whether to cancel this last minute or not, you found yourself on Instagram. One thing led to another and suddenly, you were deep in Emery's profile.

You couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she was, and how much she fit in with Noah's lifestyle. Probably in a way you never could.

They probably bonded over so many things. Music, tours, albums, production. All of the things Noah came home trying to explain to you after a stressful day in the studio, but noticed you couldn't really grasp the idea of everything they did in there.

Their conversations probably flowed way easier too. She probably helped him during studio sessions, and he probably did the same. Hell, you wouldn't even be surprised of they collabed together.

Before you could go into a way deeper spiral of comparison, you looked in the mirror and decided it was enough effort for today. You were probably wearing the most amount of makeup you've worn in weeks, and that in itself was enough for you. Who were you trying to impress anyway?

Grabbing your purse from the couch, you put on your sneakers, turn off all the lights, and go around the house cheking one more time if everything is locked as it is supposed to be.

Calling out to Ezra, you grab you car keys, but before you could even do anything, the kid has already opened the front door, and is eagerly waiting for you to unlok the car. Once you did, he hopped in the back and strapped himself in.

Being Noah's son, Ezra didn't even need a booster seat around this age anymore, and you were 100% sure he would grow to be as tall, if not even taller, than his dad.

"Let's go, buddy", you tell him, getting in yourself and turning on the car.

"Mom, I'm so happy you're coming tonight. You're going to love it!", you looked in the rearview mirror and saw his smile, and for that moment, you weren't even conflicted about going anymore.

You had texted Noah about thirty minutes ago, telling him that you and Ezra were on your way. He was waiting in the bus area, since that's where he told you to park.

Meanwhile, Noah thought about how Emery was inside. They haven't really spoken after their argument a few days ago. But tonight, she did tell him she wanted to talk after the concert is over. Noah has decided he was going to "break up" with her, even though they weren't together officially in the first place.

Now, he needed to focus on you and Ezra. And if things went well tonight, maybe you'd let him take you guys to dinner after the concert. He was holding his hopes high.

After a couple of minutes, he sees your car parking not too far from where he's standing. The headlights turn off and you step out along with Ezra, who immediately runs to his father.

"Dad! Look at my new merch", he says, grabbing the bottom of his shirt, showing it off. Noah couldn't help but chuckle at the way he never lets go of the fake tattoo sleeves. They're even a little ripped in places, he's even offered to buy him a new one, but he refuses every time.

"You look awesome, buddy", Noah envelops his son in a hug, lifting him off his feet a little. "You ready to rock tonight?", he asks and his kid answers with a very enthusiastic yes.

"I'm sorry it took me a while, there was a little bit of traffic", you tell him, and he can't help but observe how you look tonight. He never fails to get startruck by your beauty.

"It's ok. We should be heading in", he leads you both inside the venue, through the halls and finally, you step inside the green room.

"You guys can stay in here. There's water and catering outside if you need anything", he tells you.

"I know how it works, don't worry about us. Soon, this little one here will want to walk around and explore the place, right?", you ruffle Ezra's head and he agrees with you. The kid can never stay in one place for too long.

"There's security outside if you need anything. I'll have to get ready since the concert is starting soon", you nod in acknowledgement, reassuring Noah that, once again, everything is going to be ok.

He leaves to get ready and in about fifteen minutes, you and Ezra are walking around the halls backstage. You see and talk to people you haven't seen in years, but they look well acquainted with your son, and you feel happy to see him fitting in Noah's life so seamlessly.

Soon enough, you're standing beside Ezra on side stage, the concert about to start shortly.

"I'm gonna grab us some water bottles, ok?", you tell him, signaling for a security guard to keep an eye on him, and he answers you with a smile that tells you that he's used to keeping an eye on the kid when he's watching the concert.

Back in the green room, you go through some notifications on your phone before grabbing the water bottles, knowing you won't have time to do it while the concert is happening.

You're standing there when you hear the door open behind you, and you're ready to tell Ezra he could've stayed where he was, before the words die on your lips when you're met with Emery.

Your mind had kind of scraped her from your thoughts since arriving. You hadn't seen her yet and you actually thought she might not be attending.

"Oh, hi", she greets, and you can clock the fake tone of her voice the minute she speaks. "I think I have the wrong room", she says, but makes no move to get out.

"Can I help you with something?", you ask her, and you can tell that she knows who you are. Suddenly, it doesn't really look like she got in here by mistake.

"I was just looking for some water"

"There are some in here, you can grab one if you want", you tell her, pointing to the mini fridge.

She makes her way over, opening it and grabbing a water bottle. Popping the cap, she takes a few gulps while you watch her.

"I think Noah has mentioned you before", she wonders out loud. "What's your name again?", she asks.

You know what she's doing, and you're 100% sure Noah has mentioned you before and that she knows your name.

"I'm Y/N", you tell her, not bothering to shake hands or anything.

"Oh, you're the ex-wife!", she exclaims, as if she's making a huge point by saying this.

"That's me", you don't bother to hide your annoyance with her. You knew she came in here with the intent to have this conversation, and to probably rile you up and make you feel some kind of jealousy of her relationship.

"So, you're the reason why Noah can't commit to anyone anymore, huh?", she points out and you have to do a double take to make sure you heard her right.

"Excuse me?", you question.

"Yeah, you heard me. Five years later and he still can't get you out of his head"

"Listen, my son is waiting for me, and the concert is about to start. Besides, I really don't want to be having this conversation", you tell her, turning on your back. You really needed to tell Noah his taste in girls has declined drastically over the years.

"You're the reason why he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend", she half yells after you.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you're not gonna raise your voice at me", you throw back at her.

"Oh, you wanna act so high and mighty as if you haven't ruined Noah's life"

"You know nothing about me, and you know nothing about our relationship. So, I suggest you get you act right before I call security on you", you warn her, and you see her opening her mouth to retort when a voice speaks from the door.

"What the fuck is happening in here?", Noah's standing there, looking between the two of you, before his eyes settle on Emery.

"She was screaming at me, and threatening to call security on me. Can you believer her, Noah?", Emery says, voice calm this time. You sigh out loud at her fakeness.

"She won't have to, I am doing it myself", Noah tells her, and her face falls at his words. In seconds, there is a burly security guard scorting Emery out of the premises, as she's still throwing false accusations at you.

Once she's gone, and you and Noah are alone in the green room, a heavy silence settles over the two of you.

"That's your girlfriend?", you ask him, a hint of teasing in your voice. He only shakes his head.

"I can't explaing everything right now, because if I do, I'll be late to go on stage. But I'd really to talk to you when the concert is over. Is that ok?", he asks.

"Yeah, of course. We'll need to talk about this regardless", you agree with him.

Not too long after, you're back beside Ezra and the concert has started. To say you're focused would be a lie. You're not really absorbing anything that is happening before you. You can feel Ezra's presence beside you, absolutely rocking his little heart out. But you can't help but replay the conversation from earlier.

When Matt let it slip that Noah was dating someone else, you thought that Noah and this girl were official. And now you meet her, and she's blaming you because Noah doesn't want to commit? Why didn't he make it clear to you that they were not actually dating? You actually feel a little like a fool. For texting him about it, for questioning if he pretended to introduce her to Ezra, while they weren't even together.

You zone out for a little longer, until the music goes quiet and Noah is talking to the crowd.

"This is somewhat of a new version of a song you guys already know", he says, grabbing an acoustic guitar one of the techs hand out to him. Making his way back to the mic stand, his eyes meet yours for a second, before he's focused back on the crowd.

"You all will be the first crowd to hear the acoustic version of Just Pretend", he announces, and for a second, the noise from the crowd is so defeaning, you can't even hear the first couple of strums on the guitar.

After a few seconds, the whole crowd is holding up their flashlights, and Noah starts singing.

I'm not afraid

Of the war you've come to wage against my sins

I'm not okay

But I can try my best to just pretend

You've heard this song before. Of course you have. Especially after all of the discourse on social media saying he wrote it about your relationship. In one interview though, he did say it was just to show how easy you can make a radio hit. You decided to run with that excuse as well. It was easiar to cope with the words he wrote, and is now singing in front of you.

I can wait for you at the bottom

I can stay away if you want me to

I can wait for years if I gotta

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

You couldn't help but connect the words to what Emery told you earlier. You always thought Noah would have an easier time moving on than you. He was always on the road, he had things to distract his mind. He had girls waiting for him at every tour stop. Now, as you look at him, with his eyes closed and so focused on every word from the song, you wonder if he really hasn't gotten over you.

We'll try again

When we're not so different

We will make amends

till then I'll just pretend

You're standing still, not able to take your eyes away from him, when his head slightly turns to the side, and he looks at you. The eyes you used to love so much, now looking at you with so much sincerity and longing, you were sure you could dissolve right then and there. You were always able to communicate with him through looks, with his eyes being so expressive, there were many times when he didn't even have to tell you what he was thinking for you to figure it out.

Now, you realize that ability never really went away. Because you saw begging in his eyes. You saw the tool that being away from you has taken on him.

Weigh down on me, stay till morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay till morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

He finishes the song, and before you know it, you're wiping tears from your eyes. It feels like the night has taken a turn, and you're not sure if you want to face what comes next, but, for the first time in a while, you feel like things could be ok again.

You're waiting for Noah in the green room you were in before. You were sat on the couch, fingers unable to stay still, as you pick on your nails, your cuticles, anything to distract your mind and quiet your anxiety for a few seconds.

Ezra is off helping Matt pack up his things, and you just know it's going to take a while, from what you can remember, especially with how meticulous Matt is with his equipment.

The door opens, momentarily letting in the noise from outside, and you turn your head to look at Noah. His hair is wet, and a few strands are clinging to his forehead.

You remember well how it was when he finished concerts, especially when you guys were younger, and couldn't keep your hands off of each other. You always thought he looked his best a little out of breath, voice a little hoarse from singing. Apparently, that hasn't changed.

"I'm sorry for what happened earlier", he started, leaning on the table set on the corner of the room, leaving a little space between you.

"You don't have to apologize for her actions. I just want to know why you didn't tell me you weren't really dating her", you question him, and he lowers his head. You could tell he was bracing himself and trying to be vulnerable to the best of his abilities.

"We started hanging out, and I guess everyone just assumed we were together. I never really asked her to be my girlfriend", he started. You didn't say anything, deciding to wait for him to gather his thoughts. "I haven't dated anyone since the divorce".

The admission shocks you a little bit. You were 100% sure there have been other people since you.

"Why not?", you ask, voice a little hesitant and quiet.

"Isn't it obvious? I mean, she told you why"

"I wanna hear you say it"

"You wanna hear me say that I haven't been able to get over you in the five years we've been divorced? You wanna hear me say that I blame myself for that goddamn divorce every fucking day of my life? Because that's how I feel"

"I don't blame you for the divorce", you tell him, and you really don't. Over the years, you were able to realize if it hadn't happened then, it would've happened later on anyway.

"I blame myself because I should've tried harder. I should've tried harder to make you stay. I should've told you everything that was going on. But no, I just signed the papers like a damn fool"

"What do you mean tell me everything that was going on?", you question him, that part of his speech cathing your attention.

"We were under so much pressure from the label. I asked them to make the tours shorter, so I could spend more time with you and Ezra, that was only just a baby back then. They basically told me that if I wasn't willing to put in the work, we could find another label to release our album", he told you.

This was new information for you, you never knew that Noah talked to the label, and that they denied his requests.

"How could I do that? If I was a solo artist, I would've let them drop me in the blink of an eye so I could be with you two. But I had the guys to think about. So many other people were waiting on the success of the album. And once it was out, everything just got worse. They were scheduling tours after tours, and we couldn't say no, because we had a contract signed"

You didn't know what to say. You had your forehead pressed to your palms. All this new information making your head spin.

"Why didn't you tell me?", you raise your head and look him in the eye. "This is the kind of shit that you tell your wife", you were growing frustrated over the fact that he didn't communicate with you back then.

"I was afraid I would push you away. I was afraid you'd realize this isn't the kind of life you wanted and you'd leave me eventually. Look where that fucking got me, huh?", he motions around him, hands falling on his sides in frustration and resignation.

"I thought you weren't trying. I felt so alone because I thought you weren't putting in the effort because you thought the road was so much more interesting than staying at home, taking care of a baby and cleaning up spit and changing diapers", you get up from the couch, your own frustration showing. "You should've fucking talked to me", you say, once again, as you get closer to him.

"Everything I've ever wanted was to stay at home, taking care of my baby, cleaning spit and changing diapers", he tells you and your eyes start to water from the intensity of the moment.

You don't know what to do with yourself right now. You were angry at him for not saying anything earlier. You were angry at yourself because you just assumed the worst from him.

"I don't know what to do", you confess to him.

"I don't know either", he confesses back to you.

In the second you lock eyes, all of the emotions spill over. You take a step closer and crash into his arms. He envelops his arms around you in an instant, holding you firm and sure as you cry in his chest.

You don't know why you're crying so much. You think it's because you finally get to feel him again after so long without his touch. Maybe because right now, in his arms, things feel like they felt almost ten years ago, and he was your safe haven. He was the one who could make all of the sadness and pain go away. He was the one who could shut your mind off and make you focus only on him.

"Shh, I'm here, ok?", he reassures you, running his fringers through your hair.

"I'm so sorry", you're sobbing as you part from him and look him in the eyes. "I'm so sorry. I feel like I ruined everything".

"You haven't ruined anything", he told you, grasping your face in his hands, and you lean on his touch. "I would never make you stay in a relationship when you didn't feel happy. Your feelings were valid and you made the decision you thought was right", he caressed your cheeks with his thumb, wiping away a few tears that still slipped from your eyes.

"You deserve so much more than what I gave you. You deserve someone who can see you as the amazing person that you are. You deserve....", he shuts off your rambling by pressing his lips on yours. You're stunned, and you don't move for a second. After realizing what is happening, and you register his warm lips on yours, just like they felt so long ago, you completely relax. He doesn't move, doesn't deepen the kiss. You just stay there for a second, feeling each other. And it feels so perfect, that you want to cry all over again.

"I had to stop you there. You weren't making much sense, to be honest", he tells you, parting from your lips, but keeping close.

"I'm sorry", you say, once again. And he nods, telling you that he knows.

You stay wrapped in his arms for a while longer, resting your head on his chest, and Noah revels in the feeling of you against him. He feels like he can finally breath easier for the first time in years.

"The boys and I are leaving Sumerian", he tells you, and you part from him to look him in the face.

"Really?", you ask and he nods. "Why?"

"Our contract is up and we're not re-signing", he explains, like it's the most logical thing ever.

"What label are you signing with?"

"Our own", he says, and you have a puzzled look on your face.

"Your own?"

"The boys and I are opening an independent label"

Your mouth hangs open in shock, and you feel happy for all of them. This is something they've wanted for such a long time now.

"This is so great, Noah", you tell him and he smiles at you.

"Now, we won't have that pressure anymore. Everythig becomes a little easier and we're able to control our schedule much better", he explains, and you know where he's getting at. A flutter of happiness takes over you. You were going to be ok.

"I was thinking that we could go have dinner after everything's packed up. You, Ezra and I", you tell him, deciding to start with baby steps first.

"It's like you read my mind", Noah grasps your face once again, placing his lips on yours for the second time tonight, and this time, you circle your arms around his neck.

You want to stay here forever, and now, you felt like you could.

Tag list: @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @bloody-spades @mysterygirl-srl @lacy1986 @dream-machine-love @theanarchymuse95 @missduffsblog @xmads-omensx @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @w0manof-flesh44 @chey-h @pipidoll @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @kissestomyomens @hedonist-k1l @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @daemontargaryenwife @h0riz0nsiren @astronoids @flowery-mess @renegadebirch

It was August 9th. That was the first thing Noah noticed when his alarm clock woke him up that morning.

Every August 9th, for the past five years, has been mostly the same. He likes to think he stopped thinking where everything went wrong, and when did he actually lose you for good.

But it's hard to stop hurting himself with the "what ifs" when you were supposed to be celebrating the date together.

August 9th was the day he chose to make you his forever, and it was the day you chose to let him. He could remember it like it was yesterday. The sun was shining hot on the horizon, and he almost gave up on wearing the suit altogether. The only thing stopping him was the fact that you would most definitely kill him if he showed up to his own wedding without a suit.

All of yours and his friends were there to celebrate your love, and watch you finally tie the knot.

And for four years, every August 9th has been spent making more memories, with you and Ezra, who has been present for every anniversary during the time you were still together. He remembers the gifts. He remembers the dinners in restaurants. He remembers trying to talk quietly with a babbling and giggling Ezra, explaining the surprise he had for you later that night.

This year, Noah doesn't quite know how to feel. You two started talking again, and he's even taken you out on a date. He also spends more time than he would like to admit just remembering every detail of how you spent the night together after said date.

The thing that gets to him though, is that he doesn't know what label you two are supposed to have. Are you even supposed to put a label on it yet? Ex-husband and ex-wife just doesn't feel right anymore — even if it's still the truth.

Asking you to be his girlfriend somehow feels like not enough, especially for someone who used to be his wife. He thinks asking something like that might be a little too forward for now, though. He knows that it feels like a lot has happened in such a short period of time, and he also knows that you wouldn't let him have his way with you if you weren't looking for something more serious.

But he has to remind himself that it has been only one date, after all. And there's also Ezra, who you have to explain everything to if you do decide to date again.

He thinks the boy will be happy to have his parents back together. What he worries about is the confusion all of it could cause inside his little brain. He doesn't want his son to live thinking about the possibily of his parents splitting up again.

Noah himself doesn't even want to think about the possiblity of things not working out between you and him.

It's when he's drinking his morning coffee, lost in his own thoughts, that his phone chimes with a new text from you.

Y/N: good morning 😊

Y/N: do you perhaps have plans for lunch today?

He smilest to himself. It's been like this for the past couple of weeks. You've been texting a lot more, and talking about a lot of other things other than Ezra and his schedule.

He always hated having such a strained communication with you. It wasn't bad, and you two rarely fought after the divorce. But you didn't talk about anything other than Ezra. Pick ups and drop offs at his or your house, or some school event you always texted him the day and time, even though he also had received the emails from the teacher.

Noah: good morning, sweetheart

Noah: I'm just home for the day, did you think about something?

He's still going with the safest term of endearment he could think of, the other ones carrying too much emotional baggage for both you and him.

Y/N: I was thinking you could come to the studio

Y/N: I can give you a tour of the space and then we can eat something

Noah has never been in your new studio. He has friends who have gotten tattoos from you, and they all praise your work and talk about how you have such a cool space. He doesn't doubt it, having your own studio has always been your dream. And it isn't lost on him how long you had to put off going after your own ambitions so he could go after his.

Noah: that sounds perfect

Noah: what time do you need me there?

He already knows what food he's going to pick up on the way there. He just hopes your favorite lunch order is still the same as it was five years ago.

Y/N: noon is fine!

Noah: see you at noon, then

At the studio, it was the slowest of days, which, weirdly, you were thankful for. You found out, after having your own business, that hectic days were the craziest ever, but when there was a lull in clients, you had absolutely zero things to do.

Sometimes the difference almost gave you whiplash.

It was nearing noon, and you had just finished a sketch for an appointment next week. You had already told your receptionist, a kind and sweet girl named Olivia, to take her luch break, and make it two hours instead of one.

You told her it was because of the mostly boring and uneventful day, but, truly, you actually wanted to spend more time with Noah — alone, preferably — if you could. So, she decided to go home before coming back in.

It wasn't lost on you what today means — or, used to mean — and, usually, you booked as many clients as you could, that way, you distracted yourself and didn't think about how you were supposed to spend the day instead.

This year, though, something feels different inside of you. You weren't actually thinking about the times you got to spent the day with him. You were thinking of all the days you could spend together from now on.

You know there was never going to be another August 9th in your relationship — and there couldn't be, it was the day you first got married after all — but maybe that was for the better. Maybe you could find other ways to make a different day special. Maybe you were set to live so many other things together, that August 9th would something remembered only in passing.

The doorbell rang, signaling that someone had just arrived. Looking at the entrance, you saw Noah making his way in with two takeout boxes in his hands.

You could read the name of one of your favorite restaurants stamped on the front.

"Special delivery for Y/N?", he stood in front of the receptionist's desk, where he placed both boxes.

"Special indeed", you made his way towards him, smiling. Before you could overthink too much, you opened your arms so he could engulf you in a hug.

You both stayed there, wrapped in each other for a little bit longer than it could be considered normal. But neither of you cared. It felt like catching up on lost time, anyway.

"I hope you still enjoy this", he said, keeping one of his hands on your hip as you peeked inside, humming in appreciation, mouth salivating.

"I'll just lock up the front, and then we can eat in the back", you said, making your way to the glass doors, retrieving a key from your pocket, you locked the double doors and flipped the sign to "closed".

"Your studio looks nice", Noah observes, as he looks around.

It's not as visually imposing as other tattoo studios he's been in the past. You have a few art pieces lining the walls, but it's not overwhelming on the eyes.

Intead of the classic black, you've chosen a dark green color for the walls, and the vintage looking furniture add the final touches to the space.

He notices you have three stations, but no one else in the studio with you.

"Do you share the space with other artists?", he asks, curious.

"Not exactly", you answer, grabbing one of the takeout boxes and starting to make your way to the door that leads to the back room. "The space is mine, but I have two apprentices working here".

"That's nice", he points out, following after you.

He can tell the back room is reserved for staff only. There are a few tables, where he guesses they can work when they don't want to be out front. A dining table is placed in the middle of the room, and a little kitchenette can be found to his right.

"We usually have breakfast, lunch or even dinner sometimes in here", you explain, ans he nods in understanding. "I'm alone in here today because I don't really have any clients scheduled. I just came in because I have to work on a couple of projects. And I know I get lazy when I work from home", you say, laughing lightly, sitting on one of the chairs.

Noah sits in front of you, and you both busy yourselves with taking out the food and setting it on the table.

"You know", you started before taking your first bite. "I usually keep my schedule busy on August 9th", you start, looking at him for any kind of reaction.

He looks at you rather abruptly, and he looks a little surprised. He wasn't actually expeting for you to bring up your former anniversary date so bluntly.

"Yeah?", is the only thing he can muster in this moment.

"Yeah", you say. "I thought we could talk about it. I don't know...", you trail off, shrugging your shoulders. "I just thought we should talk about it".

"Yeah, we can talk about it", Noah agrees, even if caught by surprise. "I think it'll be good for us".

"It was just so weird waking up today and not having you there with me, you know? The first year was definitely the hardest for me", you start.

"It killed me, because we could've spent our last anniversary together, but we didn't, because I was on some stupid tour I don't even remember where right now".

"You were in Germany", you say. "I remember because you sent me the happy anniversary text, but it wasn't even August 9th here in the USA yet", you smile at the memory. One thing you could always give to him, is that he always remembered special dates, no matter where he was.

"You know I was always shitty with timezones" he points his fork at you. "I didn't want to risk missing it".

"You would've never missed it and you know it", you point out, and he concedes.

"I deleted the app Memories on my phone because I couldn't look at the pictures every August 9th", Noah confesses, and you realize you both have been finding ways of ignoring the day, instead of trying to deal with it in a somewhat healthy way.

"Last year was the only year I woke up and didn't realise what day it was", you take a sip of the water in front of you before continuing. "Ezra was sick and he woke up vomiting in the bathroom. It was before my alarm even went off, which is when I usually check out the date".

"I remember, because he was with me on that weekend and he still hadn't recovered 100%".

"And then he passed whatever virus it was to me, but anyway. I only realised what day it was when I laid down in bed again at night. It was past midnight and the calender on my phone read August 10th".

Noah wonders, if you hadn't reconnected at all, if by any chance, maybe in ten, fifteen years from now, he could go on about his day without even noticing it's August 9th.

He can't find the answer in him right now.

"I felt guilty", you continued, and he kept his gaze locked on yours. "It didn't feel like an accomplishment. It didn't feel like moving on. It felt like erasing a part of me I wasn't exactly ready to let go".

"It's the day we got married, Y/N. It's normal that you didn't want to let go", Noah argues, even though, year after year, he told himself he can't keep going like this. That he needed to move on. That you probably had, and he was stuck thinking of what should've been.

"I know that. And it's what everyone around me told me as well. But I still felt like I should've moved on from it anyway".

For you, the only way you could continue with your life, maybe even find yourself another chance of love, was to forget everything that has ever linked you to Noah in the past.

The papers were signed. The marriage was over.

But how could you? You had a son with him, and everytime you looked at Ezra, you were reminded of all of the good things. You were reminded of why you chose each other in the first place. You were reminded of why you said "yes" at the altar that day.

"But today I woke up feeling different", you look at him with a more hopeful expression this time.

He wanted to say that he also felt different. Even though he still had a million things he needed to get right — both with you and with himself — he didn't feel the weight on his shoulders today. Instead, it felt like a chance at a new beginning.

The independent label was coming together. He would have more freedom when scheduling shows and tours. He wouldn't have the pressure of putting out an album when he wasn't ready.

He would have more time for you, for Ezra.

He felt like he could actually make it work this time.

"I felt like we didn't need August 9th anymore. And if I'm going too far, please tell me, but I really feel like we'll have a million other opportunities to make other dates just as ours as August 9th was".

Noah was momentarily at a loss for words. It's like you could read his thoughts from this morning. And he wanted to tell you he desired to keep making memories with you and Ezra forever — for good, this time — but words failed him.

So he did the next best thing he could find to show you how he felt.

He rounded the table and crouched right in front of you, took your face in his hands and placed his lips on yours in a kiss that was equal parts desperate and a promise.

He didn't deepen the kiss, though, instead, he planted a couple more on your mouth, feeling your smile against his lips, before moving on to the apple of your cheek and nuzzling in your neck.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear this", his voice was muffled, but full of emotion, and you prompted him to get up with you, keeping your position, but wrapping your arms around him this time. "If we didn't have so much to figure out still, I'd ask you to be my girlfriend right here, right now. It wouldn't even matter that we're in the back of your tattoo studio", he says and you laugh at his desperation.

"I'd love to be yours whenever we're ready to take that step again", you look him in the eye. "But we have to admit we've never been the kind to care about the place we're at. I would be fine with you asking in the back of my tatto studio".

He wasn't exactly bad at it, and the fact that he was the tallest kid in his classroom gave him an advantage - you thanked Noah's genes for that.

Everyone was in attendance. You, Noah, and the boys from the band. After the game, they were taking Ezra to dinner and to - hopefully - celebrate the win.

You were all sat together on the second row. The school gymnasium was filled with parents, as the little ones ran around the court, trying to score.

You saw him from afar. Sean was Henry's father, a kid is Ezra's classrom. They played together on the basketball team, and Sean was at every game.

He was still wearing his police officer uniform, which means he probably came here straight from work. Henry's mother was nowhere to be seen - as per usual. From the few times you've talked to him, you learned that Sean was basically a single father. Henry's mom doesn't usually bother showing up for the kid, and when she does, things tend to get messy.

Your eyes caught his from a distance, and he gave you a small wave as a greeting gesture, which you reciprocated.

Sitting next to you, Noah raised his eyebrows at the interaction.

"You know him?', he asks, head nodding to the direction Sean was at.

"Yeah, he's Henry's father", you answer, mostly paying attention to the game in front of you, and not really at the way Noah seemed to be throwing imaginary daggers in Sean's direction.

"Who's Henry?", he asks, once again.

"Number 12 on Ezra's team"

Noah only hums in acknowledgment, Ruffilo snickers from beside him which catches his attention.

"What?", he inquires from his friend, who keeps a knowing look on his face, along with a little smirk.

"Nothing, man. You're just so transparent. It's really funny."

Noah only sighs, not wanting to entertain Nick and his absurdities. He just wanted to know who the man was, that's all.

Halftime comes fast enough, and all of the little ones gather around their coach, and P.E. teacher, to talk "strategies" and drink some water.

The parents take the time to talk amongst themselves. You see a figure approaching from your right, and when you turn to look, you see Sean moving closer to where you and the boys are seated.

"Hey there, Y/N", he greets, extending his hand for you to shake, which you do, with a smile and a hello of your own. "How have you been? It's been a while since we've seen each other", he makes conversation.

"I've been great. Taking care of the little one and keeping the shop afloat", you tell him, keeping your answer short enough for the occasion. "What about you?"

"Oh, you know. Balancing work and parenting, like always. Good thing Henry doesn't give me too much trouble."

"Oh, Henry is a great kid", you point out. Him and Ezra were good friends, and he always toldyou about how kind and generous Henry was. "Ezra has actually been asking me about that sleepover."

"Oh, yeah. Henry has mentioned it as well. We should definitely schedule something over the summer. How about that?", Sean suggests and you agree, telling him that it would be a great opportunity for them to spend some time in the pool.

"I see you brought friends today?", Sean looks over at the boys.

They're usually not always available for these events. But when they are, it's always a suprise to see the whole gang here.

"Yeah, these are my friends. This is Nicholas, Jolly, Nick, Bryan, Davis and...", right when you were about to introduce Noah, you didn't even have the chance to stutter out his name before he was talking over you.

"I'm Ezra's father", he said, with a serious and clipped tone, and an almost unapproachable look on his face. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else rather than here, talking to Sean.

"Yeah, man. Y/N has mentioned you a few times", Sean tried to lighten the situation. "Congrats, you two have an amazing son."

"Thanks", Noah nods once. He knows he has an amazing son. He doesn't need this man telling him the obvious.

"Well, the game is about to resume soon. I better get back to my seat", Sean announced just as the referee blew the whistle and another quarter began.

"Nice talking to you, Sean", you waved goodbye and focused back on the game.

Beside you, you could feel Noah's energy radiating off of him. You could always tell when he was feeling either angry, pissed off, or downright jealous.

And in this moment, you could basically smell the jealousy in the air.

"Something wrong?", you ask, looking sideways and talking a little quietly next to his ear.

"Nope. Everything's great", he tells you, but you notice that's not really what he wants to say. You decide to push him a little more.

"Sean is nice, right?"

He looks at you when you say this, and you try to keep a neutral look on your face.

"Regular guy. Wouldn't say he's nice", he shrugs his shoulder with indifference.

"Did you know he's single? Hard to believe that", you add.

"Why is it so hard to believe?"

"Because he's nice, charming, polite", you list things off. "Besides, I'd say he looks pretty good in a uniform", you make a motion of fanning over your face.

You didn't need to tell him twice for him to notice you found Sean attractive.

"This is unbelievable", Noah snickers. "Let's just pay attention to the game, ok?", he says, turning his face away from yours, and for a second, you think that you might have taken this too far.

What can you say? Jealous Noah was always one of your favorites.

When the game was over, and Ezra's team came out on top, everyone congregated back on the parking lot.

Ezra couldn't contain the energy still coursing through little body. Excitement written all over his features.

"Daddy, did you see that one point that I scored? It was sick!", he exclaimed, and Noah said that yes, he did see that one point he scored, even though he had no idea what point he was talking about.

"Mommy, can I be a basketball player when I grow up?", he asked, eyes all hopeful and glimmering with passion.

"Of course you can, buddy", you encourage, and he becomes even more elated than before.

"Ok", you crouch down to his level, putting both of your hands on his shoulders to stop him for a minute. "Now, you're gonna go with your uncles, and I need you to be on what?", you ask him, putting your hand on your ear to "hear better" what he has to say.

"On my best behavior!", he exclaims.

"That's right", you congratulate him with a high five. "Don't eat too much, or you'll have a bellyache later, you hear me?", you instruct him, and he says yes. "Now, go say bye to your dad."

Noah and Ezra share their own little conversation at the same time Nicholas tells you not to worry about anything, and that they'll take good care of Ezra.

You assure them that you know they will. You trusted them with your son with your eyes closed. Ezra loved to spend time with his uncles so much, that him going out with them without you or Noah became a regular occurence.

Once they were all in the car, leaving as Ezra waved goodbye from the back window, you and Noah made your way to his car.

"Do you wanna grab something to eat?", you ask him as you wait for him to unlock the car so you can get inside.

When you're both settled and bucledk in, and he stil hasn't answered your question, you ask again, only for him to come out with the pettiest answer ever.

"I think Sean would be up for dinner. Think you should ask him", he says, and your mouth actually kind of drops open at this.

"Maybe I will", you challenge back when you compose yourself. "Think I need to put my theory to the test."

"What theory?"

"That men in uniforms are a good fuck", you look at him with a little fire in your eyes, and he's looking back at you with just as much heat. The tension has filled the car completely. "Been a while, you know? Think he can show me a good time"

The silence is thick, and it hung heavy in the air. Noah knew what you were doing. He knows this is not about Sean anymore. And he sure as hell knows that you're not about to fuck another man other than him tonight.

"You want someone to show a good time? Is that what you've been looking for?", his voice wore a smirk, and there was a promise hidden beneath the surface. "You don't gotta go looking anywhere else, honey. You got it right here."

You let his words linger in the quiet between the two of you.

"Well, now that you know what I want, what are you gonna do about it?"

"You're gonna find out soon enough", his tone held a provocation to it. "My place or yours?"

Tag List: @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mysterygirl-srl @lacy1986 @dream-machine-love @theanarchymuse95 @missduffsblog @xmads-omensx @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chey-h @pipidoll @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @kissestomyomens @hedonist-k1l @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @daemontargaryenwife @h0riz0nsiren @astronoids @flowery-mess @renegadebirch @ashlynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn @jesuisunchaton @carrieontillmay @bloody-spades @amelia-acero @death-ofpeace-ofmind @saythatuwill @kenjipepsi1 @concretejunglefm @renvconta19 @artbyamixx @13-11-95-blog @ichoosetenderomens @oobleoob @concreteangel92

You were honestly grateful Ezra's school play was happening today. Even though you loved how excited and happy he was about it, getting to hear a play by play on how theater practice is going kind of took a toll on you. You'd never tell him this, though, so you'd just let the kid ramble on for hours on end.

"And that's because he's the tree. Which is unmovable and has no lines. Imagine if he gets a main role one day", Noah pointed out once, as you were laying in bed at the end of the day.

"At least he's dedicated. Main role or not", you said. "I bet he's gonna be the best unmovable tree, though"

"Of course he is. He's my son and we don't do things half assed", you snorted at this because it's absolutely true. Noah went above and beyond even for things with little significance at the and of the day, and you expected your son to be no different.

Right now, you were getting ready to attend the school play. You had dropped off Ezra early at school, so him, the other kids, and the teachers could get everything ready on time, and make sure all the kids were set.

You had agreed with Noah to meet him there, since he had band practice and it would run a little bit late and he wouldn't have time to come home and get ready with you.

It was nearing 6pm and you texted him saying you'd leave in about twenty minutes, and you'd save him a seat beside you for when he arrived.

When you got no answer, you thought it was odd, but didn't dwell on it too much. He must be busy at the moment and couldn't check his phone.

You grabbed your stuff and headed out, texting him on the way to the school once again.

Still no answer.

You waited until you were parked at the school parking lot to call him, instead of texting, but it just went straight to voicemail. You decided to leave him a message.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm already here. Are you on your way? Text me when you can"

Hanging up the phone, you had a strange feeling pooling in your belly, but you pushed it aside. He was gonna be here. He had to be here. Ezra was talking about this school play for weeks, there's no way Noah wouldn't be here for it.

Locking your car, you made your way to the school theater. Finding a place towards the front, you sat down and placed your bag on the seat beside you.

The play would start in about forty minutes, and during that time, you guess you've called Noah more than ten times. At this point, you were getting agitated, a nervousness settled deep in your stomach, and you started to get antsy.

When the lights dimmed, and the music started to play, it dawned on you. Noah wasn't coming.

Trying one more time, and still without success, you decided you wouldn't call him again.

Your mind went a hundred miles a minute, thinking about all of the things that could've happened that would prevent Noah from being here. You even though about the worst case scenarios, but brushed it off as soon as it came to your mind. Bad new traveled fast, and if something had happened to him, you'd surely know by now.

Ezra came into play, his little face poking through a hole in the tree costume, and you smiled when he spotted you in the crowd. You could see his face turn into a frown though, when he noticed his father was not sitting beside you. You just waved at him, trying to act nonchalant.

Throughout the play, you'd be lying to say you were paying attention. You didn't know if you felt anger, concern or disappointment. You guess it was a mixture of all three.

About thirty minutes into the play, you turned your phone brightness all the way down, so people wouldn't notice you on your phone, and decided to text Ruffilo.

You: Hey, Nick. You know where Noah is?

You waited a few minutes for his replay. Heart beating fast.

Ruff: Hey, Y/N.

Ruff: Yeah, we're hanging at Matt's place. I think Noah's phone is dead, though.

Ruff: You wanna talk to him?

You stared at the text messages in complete disbelief. He was hanging at Matt's place? Hanging with his buddies instead of being here for his son?

You'd love to know what excuse he'd come up with.

You: Not really. Just let him know he's missing his son's school play.

You locked your phone, and you could tell the play was about to wrap up, as the main characters delivered the last lines, and in a couple of minutes, everyone was standing up and clapping, as the kids bowed on stage.

You felt your phone vibrate and looked at the screen.

Ruff: Shit.

Shit indeed, you thought to yourself, as you sat down once again to wait for Ezra to come and find you. He just had to take his costume off and change back into his clothes.

It didn't take long before he appeared on the side of the stage, one of the teachers holding his hand as he looked for you. Standing up, you waved, and he came walking towards you as soon as he spot you.

He came walking. Not running, as you expected.

"Where's daddy?", he asked you, as you crouched down to his level. He had a deep frown on his face.

"Hi, baby", you greeted him, smoothing his hair that was growing to be long like his father's. "Daddy got sick, sweetheart. He couldn't be here. I'm sorry"

You hated lying to Ezra, and you didn't do it often at all, if ever. But, this time, you guess it would be better to not tell him the truth, instead of saying his father completely forgot about his school play.

"What does daddy have?", Ezra asked.

"I think it's just a stomach bug, buddy. He'll be fine soon, don't worry", you reassured him, but his demeanor didn't change, or get better.

"Can we go home? I'm tired", he said, reaching his arms up for you, and you picked him up. You couldn't help but notice he was getting too big for you to carry him, and you'd soon had to stop.

"Of course we can", you said, threading your fingers through his hair, as he laid his head down on your shoulder.

You wanted to cry. You hated seeing your son sad.

Walking with him to the parking lot, a bunch of parents were walking to their own cars with their kids, and you greeted some of them on the way, recognizing them as parents from Ezra's class.

Strapping him in his booster seat, you got in the driver's seat yourself and started the drive home.

Observing him through the inside rearview mirror, you noticed that halfway home, Ezra dozed off and took a nap.

There's no way he'd eat something, or take a bath, before going to bed today.

Arriving home, you took him in your arms once again, struggling with the key to the door a little, but finally able to get it open. You walked with him to his bedroom, setting him on his bed, where he sat, rubbing his eyes and looking extra sleepy.

"You wanna eat something?", you asked, and he shook his head no. "A warm bath?", he shook his head no once again. "Ok, then, I know you're tired, so tonight, you can go straight to bed"

Walking towards his dresser, you opened the pajama drawer.

"You want the dinosaur, or the robots pajama?"

"Dinosaur"

You nodded and grabbed the dinosaur pajama and helped him into them, and in no time, he was snuggled under the blanket. You waited a few minutes, until his breaths evened out and you were sure he had fallen asleep.

While you waited, you heard the front door open, so you got up from your spot on the bed, closed the door behind you, and made your way to the living room.

You stopped in your tracks when you spotted Noah locking the door behind him. Turning around to face you, you swear you've never seen a guiltier face in you entire life.

"Y/N...", he started, but you cut him off. Much to his dismay, you had a lot of time to simmer in your anger on the drive back home.

"I honestly don't even wanna look at you right now. Let alone hear whatever stupid excuse you're gonna come up with", you told him, coldness and a tinge of anger seeping into your voice. He can tell you're holding back on him.

"I don't have an excuse", he said, looking down, and when he looked back at you, you could see his watery eyes reflecting in the lights coming from outside the window.

"I don't know if that's better or worse", you pointed out.

"I just", he said, taking a long breath. "I just forgot. I don't know what happened, but I just forgot"

You don't know if you should feel any better about his honesty and the fact that he didn't try to come up with a false reason for not being there.

"You forgot about the play he's been telling us about for the past, I don't know, month?", you question him, incredulous.

"I just forgot, ok? I don't know what else to say", he told you, visibly getting frustrated at the situation and at himself.

"You don't get to be fucking angry and pissy here, alright?", you say, trying not to raise your voice, pointing a finger at him. "You're lucky I'm even giving you the time of day so you can explain yourself"

You don't give him a chance to reply, as you start to make your way to the kitchen to grab your nightly glass of water. You can hear him trailing behind you, though.

"I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to forget about it", his voice was meek and a little shaky.

"It's not me you should be apologizing for. It's your son", you grab your glass of water and start to make your way to your shared bedroom, when you stop in your tracks and turn back to him. "I told him you were sick. So, when he asks, just go with the story"

This time, you disappear down the hallway to your bedroom.

You go through you nighttime routine and Noah doesn't come in the bathroom, or in the bedroom. He knows to give you some space and time when you're angry. Especially when you're angry at him.

You turn off the lamp and slip under the blankets, but sleep doesn't find you so easily. Instead, you toss and turn in bed, and, as you lay there, you slowly start to feel the anger slipping away from your bones.

Tomorrow is gonna be a new day, and you couldn't hold this over his head forever, anyway.

After ten more minutes, the door opens and Noah comes into the bedroom. He quietly does his thing in the bathroom, and changes into his sleep clothes. He doesn't say anything, even though he can tell you're awake.

It's when he lays down in bed with you, that it all comes crashing down.

It starts off with quiet sniffles, that soon turn into full body sobs, as he tries to even out his breath and wipe the tears from his eyes.

You come out of mom mode, and instead, you decide to be the partner he needs right now.

Turning on your side, you wrap your arms around him, and he rests his head on your shoulder, his cries not letting up.

"I'm such a shitty father. How can I fucking forget my son's school play?"

"You're not a shitty father. What happened today wasn't nice, but it doesn't define you as a father", you tell him, honestly, but you can tell it's gonna take more for him to understand that.

"Yes, I am. I try so hard to not fuck up but it happens anyways. Maybe it runs in the family, and you're probably wondering why you even had a kid with me in the first place"

This time, you sit up in bed, and you prompt him to sit up with you. Taking his head in your hands, you make him look you in the eye. His tear-stained face looks back at you, as fresh tears still slip down his cheeks.

"That's something I won't tolerate", you tell him, with a firm, but gentle tone. You needed him to understand this. "I never thought twice about having a baby with you, and I wouldn't think twice about having another one", you said, taking a few seconds for him to comprehend your words. "Again, this does not define you as a father, and, honestly? This is not the only shitty thing that'll happen. We have Ezra's whole life ahead of us, and we're bound to mess up from time to time. But what matters is that we're trying. And we're doing damn well so far"

He's calmed down by now, as he listens to what you're saying. You've always had the ability to ease his nerves, even in situations like this.

"Ezra is so loved by both of us, this was just a little bump on the road, ok?", you asked and he nodded.

"Thank you", he said, voice low and throat raspy from the force of his cries.

"You don't have to thank me. You know I love you forever, right? And we're doing this together"

"I love you so much", he intertwined his hands with yours and kissed the back of your hand. "Can Ezra sleep with us tonight?", he asks and you nod in agreement.

"Go get him. He'll love to see you"

As Noah left the bedroom to get Ezra, you thought over the events of today.

You knew what happened was far from ideal, but like you told Noah, it does not reflect who he is as a father. Besides, shit is bound to happen, and you're sure you're going to mess up as well sometime in the future. It was all about how you decided to handle it. And you handled it like you and Noah always did. Together.

A few minutes later, Noah comes back with a drowsy, but happy looking Ezra in his arms. And, as they both lay down, with the little on in the middle, Ezra turns to you and whispers.

"Daddy's not feeling so great tonight, mommy. So I'll cuddle him with him instead of you, ok?", he asks, and you get a little amused.

"That's fine, baby", you agree, heart swelling with pride at how considerate and kind your son is.

And that's how you fall asleep. Ezra tucked under Noah's arm that is stretched under his son's head, caressing your hair softly, a silent apology, as you look at him, giving a smile and a little nod, telling him you're accepting it.

Tag List: @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mysterygirl-srl @lacy1986 @dream-machine-love @theanarchymuse95 @missduffsblog @xmads-omensx @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chey-h @pipidoll @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @kissestomyomens @hedonist-k1l @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @daemontargaryenwife @h0riz0nsiren @astronoids @flowery-mess @renegadebirch @ashlynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn @jesuisunchaton @carrieontillmay @bloody-spades @amelia-acero @death-ofpeace-ofmind @saythatuwill

The first kick.

The first time it happened, it was so soft and it passed so quicly that you didn't even register that your baby had just started kicking. Your body was going through so many changes during pregnancy, that you had a hard time distinguishing one thing from the other.

You had just surpassed your 20th week of pregnancy, and soon, you and Noah would find out the gender of the baby on the next ultrasound. You were still debating whether you wanted to know right then and there, or, if you wanted a simple gender reveal later.

Regardless of that, Noah was already calling your little baby his "baby boy", and his "little guy". Sometimes, you teased him about it, telling him there was no way he could know the baby is a boy. Other times, you found his conviction so cute, that you didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise.

You knew he'd be the perfect dad whether you were having a girl, or a boy.

Right now, he was doing one of his - and your - favorite things. Talking to your belly.

This has become routine by now. First, he'd look up something to compare the baby size to. Then, he'd lay his head on your thighs, and tell the baby all about what he found and how the day has been.

"So", he starts, voice quiet and using his index finger to trace slow patterns on your growing belly. "Right now, you're about the size of a mango", he uses his other hand to show the approximate size of a mango. You laugh, because who is he showing it to?

"Your mom is so brave, because I could never imagine having something the size of a mango inside of me. And soon, you'll be the size of a pumpkin. Imagine that!", he quietly exclaims, and you divert you eyes from whatever you were watching on the television, eyes fixed on him. Your heart always grew twice it's size when you watched him like this.

He's been so caring and loving ever since you found out about the pregnancy. He was adamant in doing his research, buying books to understand the development of babies, and even making you eat things you downright found disgusting because "you needed your nutrients now more than ever".

"Soon, we'll find out if you're a boy or a girl. And even though I know you're a little boy, I guess we have to go and confirm it anyways", he stole a look at you from under his eyelashes, and you're staring at him with amusement your eyes. "I'm so excited though, because then, we'll start planning your nursery. I can't wait to look at furniture for hours until your mom decides which crib she wants to buy"

You were gonna quip back with an anwer about how it was probably gonna take weeks for Noah to decide what color he wants to paint the room, when you felt - and saw - a quick right over your belly button.

You sat up a little straighter, and Noah lifted his head from your lap, you both looking at each other with complete shock on your faces.

"Did he just....?", Noah started, and you nodded yes.

"Our baby just kicked", you confirmed.

"Here, lay down", he adjusted your pillows for you, and you laid down comfortably on the bed. "Let's stay quiet and see if he does it again".

For a couple of minutes, you both stay there, staring expectantly at you belly to see if it happens again. But, so far, you had no luck.

"Maybe they like to hear your voice?", you murmur.

And then, Noah quietly starts to whisper a melody to a song, and lo and behold, a few seconds later, you felt another kick. This time, it landed right on the right side of your belly, right where Noah was sitting beside you.

"Oh my God", he gasps in surprise, and before you can even say anything, he rests his head right on top of your belly, and you can see he has tears pooling in his eyes, emotional from the fact that your baby reacted to hearing his voice. You start to run your fingers through his hair, as you both just soak in the moment.

"I guess you'll be the one to sing them to sleep, huh?", you tease and he smiles.

"Thank you for this. Thank you for everything", he says, intertwining his hands with yours. You don't have to say anything, the weight of the moment speakig for itself.

2. The first word.

You and Noah always made sure to make bath time an enjoyable time for little Ezra. The little bathtub always displayed an array of rubber toys for him to play with. And, most often than not, when he'd get a little too excited, it ended up with both you and Noah soaked in water.

You didn't mind, though, because his little giggles while he played with the water and the toys, made every hardship disappear from your mind.

"You're a menace", you tell Noah, as he styles Ezra's hair in a little mowhak. The strands of dark hair - much like his father's - all soapy from the baby shampoo Noah was rubbing in his sensitive scalp.

"He's enjoying it. Look", Noah points at Ezra's toothless grin as he stares up at the two of you. You saw his father's eyes whenever you looked into them, and you wonder if this kid is gonna take after you in anything.

"He's clueless", you point out.

"Yeah, but he's daddy's favorite, isn't that right, little Ezra?", he says in a baby voice. "Tell mama you're daddy's favorite"

"Da!", Ezra suddenly blurts out, pointing hiss little and chubby finger at Noah, but looking and smiling at you.

Your eyes go wide in surprise and you instantly look at Noah to gauge his reaction, which is not much different from yours.

As soon as the moment comes, it passes, when Ezra starts to splash some water around, clearly already distracted with something else and none the wiser of what he just did.

"Noah, he called you dad", you walk up to him, engulfing him in a embrace, feeling emotional yourself.

"I can't believe he just called me dad", he murmurs into your shoulder. "It's like he could even understand what I said".

He's right, and you're a little in disbelief of how smart your little baby looked already.

"You've been talking to him from the moment he was in my belly. It wouldn't surprise me if he could actually understand you"

"Do you think I can get him to say it again?", he asks, hopeful, already turning back towards the bathtub and resuming his "conversation" with the baby.

3. The first steps.

By this point, you already knew that when you have a baby, milestones could happen at literally any minute, during a random day, and when you least expect it.

Ezra has been practicing standing up for a while now, and you and Noah always encouraged the little baby with toys, his bottle, or you'd just sit there on the floor, with arms wide open, trying to get him to understand the concept of hugging.

So far, you've had no success in your journey of getting to walk. You didn't worry much, though, since you knew it was gonna happen eventually. It's just that every time he stood up on his chubby little legs, both you and Noah would hold your breaths in anticipation, only for him to plop down on his bum once again.

This evening, he was playing on his little playmat set in the living room, while Noah was sitting on the couch working on some music on his computer. You took the time to gather some of the toys not being used that were sprawled all over the floor, and put them away in the storage bins you bought whe Ezra started to gather one too many toys.

You were holding the baby giraffe in your hands, and right when you about to drop it inside the bin, you heard a sound of complaint from Ezra.

You and Noah looked at him, as he stood up and pointed at you, complaining once again. It took you a while to realize that he was pointing to the toy.

Crouching down on the floor, you held the giraffe in front of you. "You want the toy?", you asked the baby, and Ezra smiled, telling you that it was exactly what he wanted.

All of a sudden, his right foot steps forward, and you start wiggling the toy with much more conviction now.

"Noah, are you seeing this?", you say, in exasperation and excitement.

"Yes, I am", he answers, throwing his computer to the side. "Go get you toy! C'mon buddy, go get it", he encourages, and then his left foot steps forward. Before Ezra can do anything else, he loses balance and falls on his bum, resuming his previous position on the floor.

Elated with happiness, you and Noah get up, as you cheer on the baby who had just taken his first couple of steps.

"You did so well, my little guy", you say, handing him the giraffe.

"I forgot to record", Noah says, a little disapponted.

"It's ok, I have a feeling that soon, we won't be able to stop him"

4. The first lost tooth.

"Mom!", Ezra yells, as he comes bounding inside the house. "Look at this!", he sets his backpack on the kitchen island, looking through it for something. Noah had been called in to pick him up earlier from school. Apparently, he had fallen and hit his head on the floor.

Noah comes in a few seconds after him, and you give him a questioning look. You were worried about your child's wellbeing, and here he was, running in the house as if nothing had happened. Noah just shakes his head with a smile.

"Just let the kid show it to you", he tells you, standing beside you, looping an arm around your waist.

Ezra pulls out a bunch of papers that formed a little ball. Your frown only deepends as he starts to pull the thing apart.

"I wrapped in a lot of paper because I was scared I'd lose it", you looked at Noah and just snorted in amusement. "Look!", he exclaims, and you have a hard time seeing what he's holding up. But when you do, you notice that it's a tooh. It's so small, it can barely fit in between his fingers.

"What?", you ask, genuine confusion laced in your voice.

Ezra grins at you and you can finally see the little gap where one of his front tooth used to be.

"He fell and hit his mouth, and one of his teeth fell off", Noah explains.

"Oh my God. Noah, he's too young to be losing teeth. He's barely five!", you exclaim, clearly concerned. "Does it hurt? Where did you hit your mouth?", you turn to Ezra as you grab his face in your hands, examining his mouth and the remaining set of teeth.

"I cried a little, but then Clarice told me I'd be getting money from the tooh fairy, and then I wasn't crying anymore", Ezra explained, and you just shook your head.

"You can put your tooth under the pillow tonight. Keep it safe, ok?", you tell him. "Now go get changed".

He wraps his tooth in the papers again, gathers his backpack and makes his way to his room.

"We're gonna have to take him to the dentist", you tell Noah, and he just nods in agreement.

"This kid in unbelivable. Stopped crying because he'd be getting money from the tooth fairy", Noah pointed out and you both laughed at the smart ass reaction from your son.

The school hallways were decorated as you and Noah made your way to Ezra's classroom for the parent-teacher meeting.

Occasionally, you stopped to observe the kids' works displayed on the bulletin boards. You always loved to see what they created, as you looked at art crafts, poems and science projects. From time to time, you pointed at something funny a kid has written or drawn, showing it to Noah and prompting a chuckle out of him.

Ezra was attending this school for a couple of years now, and you were already familiar with the staff and teachers. This year though, the teacher was new, and she was covering for Ezra's teacher who was on maternity leave.

You have met her on school events before, but this was the first time you were sitting with her for a meeting.

It was common knowledge to everyone who has taught Ezra, and who knows you and Noah, that you two have been separated for a while now. So, you assumed the new teacher knew as well, and that it wouldn't be necessary to bring it up. Besides, you and Noah agreed to not disclose for now the fact that you two were getting closer and reconnecting. Especially since you haven't talked to Ezra about it yet.

Knocking on the door to the classroom, you looked around the place, before you heard the teacher's voice telling you and Noah to come in.

The desks were arranged in groups, and you always found funny how Noah looked completely gigantic around little furnitures, like the ones in the classroom. The walls were decorated, and you could see some anchor charts displayed around the classroom. It wasn't over the top, and you liked it.

"Hello! My name is Miss Wright", she extended her hand for you to shake, and you greeted her with a "hi". "You must be Ezra's mom?", she questions and you say yes. "And you", she turns to Noah. "Must be the dad", she extends her hand once again, and Noah shakes it.

You observe the interaction and a weird feeling already starts to rise inside of you. She's looking at him for too long. In fact, she's looking at him from head to toe, and you find that a little strange.

You can even see a little glimmer in her eyes when she looks at Noah.

She thinks he's hot and you can smell her attraction from a mile away.

Noah was wearing black shorts, sneakers and a black t-shirt. His usual fit for day to day chores. His tattoos were on display, and he had his sunglasses perched atop his head, keeping his hair from getting in his face.

Yeah, you'd admit it, he looked hot. But he would probably look hot wearing a potato sack. But, what made you antsy was the fact that she's checking him out so obviously. And in front of you.

"Should we sit and get started?", you interrupted her daydreams.

"Of course!", she said, charismatically, and led the two of you to the chairs set in front of the classroom.

She started to talk about Ezra and how great of a student he is. He turns his activities in on time, and he's always repectful of his classmates and teacher. You noticed she preferred to talk looking at Noah rather than at you, as she explained the activities and projects they did along the months of school.

"How is Math going for him?", you ask, prompting her to divert her eyes from Noah and look at you. Your tone wasn't as kind as it was when you arrived, and Noah, ever so observant, picked up on it right away. "He usually has a harder time with Math. He's really good at Art, but not really with numbers.", you pointed out.

You knew that you had an artistic kid ever since Ezra was born. He always loved to play with paint, and when he got a little older, he started to explore with clay and other art forms.

"Well, he definitely takes after his dad, right? He loves to talk about your band to the classroom", she says, with an overly sweet smile on her face, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes. "But yes, he needs a little more help with his Math work, , but that's completely normal. He seems to be doing well so far. I'll let you know if anything changes."

You only nodded, but didn't answer verbally.

You mostly tuned out for the rest of the meeting, and when it was time to say goodbye, you didn't give her a chance to extend her hand once again, or to ogle Noah more than she already has.

Instead, you said a quick goodbye, stood up from the chair and ushered Noah out of the classroom.

The walk to the school parking lot was quiet, and you walked ahead of Noah.

He observed you as your boots smacked against the floor. He could pratically sense the jealousy rolling off of you in waves. He had to fight back a smirk.

He noticed the teacher's flirtiness from the moment she first looked at him. Being in a band and all, he was used to it. The look in her eyes something that has happened endlessly over the years.

He wasn't ready for how much it was going to affect you, though.

He spent the entire meeting fighting the urge to do something. To put his hand on your thigh, cicle his arm on the back of the chair. Anything to show her that he was taken.

Even though nothing was official and you haven't talked about it yet.

Once inside the car, you both got in. Noah had picked you up at your house, so you didn't have to take two cars.

He made no move to start the car. Instead, you both sat there in silence.

"Well?", you questioned, after a few seconds, motioning your hands around the inside of the car. "Are we leaving anytime soon?"

You weren't rude, but he found the frustration in your voice absolutely hilarious. And, this time, he couldn't help but smile at you.

"What are you smiling so much about?", you ask him, turning sideways to look at him, a frown on your features.

"Hmm, let's see", he started to rub his fingers under his chin, as if in thought. "Maybe because you were about to jump the teacher because of how jealous you were?", he says, and you gasp in surprise at his bold statement.

"Jump the teacher? Are you literally insane?", you crossed your arms over your chest in indignation.

"I can literally smell the jealousy coming from you"

"What would I be jealous of, anyway?"

"The fact that she was undressing me with her eyes?", he pushed just a bit, to see what your reaction would be.

"I wasn't jealous, I just thought it was completely unprofessional how shameslessly she was flirting with you. That's all", you shrugged your shoulders, as if that's all there is to it.

"Ok, then", he relented, but wasn't done yet. "Actually, I think next time I pick up Ezra from school, I'll request to talk to her so she can explain to me how their next Science project is gonna work"

"And why would you need to know that?", you question.

"You know, to be involved and everything. And since you're not being jealous at all, you wouldn't mind if I speak to her alone, right?"

Noah was saying this on purpose and you knew it. You just had to decide if you were going to take the bait or not.

"Well, it's your call, really", you tell him. "But if you do, that date you've been hinting at, is not happening at all, buddy", you patted him on he shoulder, and he laughed at your answer.

"So, you admit that you wouldn't want me alone with her?", he pushes a little more.

"It's not because of you, by the way", you clear, wanting him to know that you're aware he'd never reciprocate her flirting, even though the "talking to her alone" was just something he came up with to get you to admit your jealousy. "I'm actually more worried she'll start drooling or doing some embarrassing shit", you smirk, and he knows the air has cleared.

He turns on the car, and starts driving back to your place. He keeps a soft smile on his lips the whole way there.

You've never been the overly jealous girlfriend, or wife. But he couldn't lie and say that he didn't feel just a little bit smug about the fact that he still elicited these feelings from you, even after not being together for a long time.

He knew - and he knew that you knew, too - that you were the only one for him, no matter how much time has passed.

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It was a cold Sunday night, you and Noah were laying in bed, the cozy and heavy blankets over the two of you. You had just eaten dinner a couple of hours ago, and were now watching a movie on the television.

The bedroom wasn't big, neither was the apartment, but it was enough for the two of you. When you and Noah moved in together, you already knew it wasn't gonna be anything too fancy. Having just turned twenty, with you working as an apprentice at a studio downtown, and Noah making money from the gigs with his band, there was only so much you both could afford.

But it didn't stop you from feeling like you were living the life you've always wanted.

No amount of money could pay for the feeling of coming home from a stressful day and feeling Noah's arms enveloping you in his embrace. Or, when you felt like the whole world was against you, and he reassured you that everything was going to be fine.

"When we finally buy our big and fancy house, we're definely going to have a heating system for the winter", Noah says beside you. You let out a little laugh and snuggled closer to him.

"Why do we need a heating system? We can just share body heat", you say as he wraps his arms around you a little tighter, pulling you impossibly closer.

"And I love sharing body heat. I just don't like sleeping with this many blankets", he points out, grumbly. You think he's the cutest when he whines about simple things, like having to use too many blankets.

"Well, when we buy our big, fancy house, I want heated floors on the bathroom. I hate stepping on the cold floor when I just had a hot shower", you tell him, making you own request known, and it's his turn to smile.

You and Noah dreamed about the future a lot. How things are going to be in eight, or ten years. You don't know how to explain it, but you just had a feeling inside of you that was certain he would make it.

More often than not, Noah would tell you that his faith in this music thing he was trying was wavering. And he told you how uncertain he was about the path he has chosen in life. You just told him that it takes time. He has the talent and dedication - so much dedication - he just had to wait until the good things started happening.

What you always told him though, is that he should start singing too. You knew he wasn't as confident in his voice yet, but whenever you caught him muttering a song under his breath, or singing something when he tought you couldn't hear, you couldn't stop thinking of how much potential he had to create something incredible.

"Anything for the lady. You ask and it shall be delivered", he salutes in odedience and you laugh at his exaggeration, even though you knew he would keep this in his head for when the time came.

"Do you really think we're gonna have a big, fancy house?", you ask him, honestly. He thinks for a moment before answering.

"I really do", he affirms, leaving out the part where he knows you two will be married by then as well. Truthfully, he hasn't asked you yet solely because he didn't have the money to buy you the ring he thinks you deserve. But he has all of the intention in the world to marry you.

"Do you think we'll be married by then?", you ask and it catches him off-guard. Have you been reading his mind? Have you also been thinking about this as much as he has? You must've been, to ask him this question, so unprompted.

Marriage has been a topic of conversation a few times during your relationship, and both of you agreed that it would happen at the right time. You just didn't know when that would be.

"Do you want us to be married by then?", he throws back the question at you, trying to go off of your answer.

"Sure, but we don't know when that will be. What if it's in ten years? Do we want to wait that much?", you say, and he sure as hell knows he does not want to wait that much to marry you.

"I'd marry you next week if I could", he says, nonchalantly, as if that was the most normal thing to say.

You get up into a half sitting position, your elbow supporting you on the bed, as you look at him.

"Noah, please. Marriage takes a lot of planning and money", you observe.

"I know that, and I know that you'd love to plan everything to the last detail. I'm just saying that, if it was up to me, we'd have a marriage license by next week", he shrugs his shoulders, and you're still looking a him. He can't really tell what you're thinking, and he doesn't know if it scares him or not.

"Bold of you to say that when you haven't even proposed yet", you point out, a smirk on your lips, knowing that you got him there.

"Well, do you?", he asks.

"Do I what?"

"Do you want to marry me?"

"You know I want to marry you", you tell him. Does he really need to ask?

"I'm asking officially. Will you marry me?"

It takes you a second to register what he's actually asking you, but when it does, you can't believe it. You're inside your little apartment, laying in bed, hair disheveled and there's a weird stain on your pajama. But, somehow, you also think that it couldn't have been more perfect.

You gauge the way he's looking at you, and even though he wants to ask like he's not nervous, you can tell. His eyes are so expressive that has given him away more times than you could count. And, right now, he's looking at you like you're holding his entire world in your hands.

"Of course I'll marry you", you said, and throw yourself in his arms. In seconds, your lips are on his, and he's gripping the back of your head firmly, not wanting you to pull away. He's relieved, you can tell, and wonder if there's a world where he thought you would say no.

Because the prospect of getting to do this forever makes you the happiest you've ever been.

"We need rings now", Noah says against your lips, smiling.

"I have an idea if you don't mind", you suggest, and he tells you to go ahead.

You get up from the bed and grab your tattoo kit, and in an hour or so, both of you have two crisp lines tattooed on your ring fingers. Yours a little more wobbly than Noah's, since he doesn't have the experience you have with tattoo machines. But you don't really care. This is perfect.

"There we go", Noah says, putting his hand on top of yours, observing your handy works. "Forever".

"Forever".

Tag list: @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @bloody-spades @mysterygirl-srl @lacy1986 @dream-machine-love @theanarchymuse95 @missduffsblog @xmads-omensx @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chey-h @pipidoll @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @kissestomyomens @hedonist-k1l @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @daemontargaryenwife @h0riz0nsiren @astronoids @flowery-mess @renegadebirch