#exploitative behavior

( @snowinabottle / random headcanons )

    a;sdjaskask. this is going to be a long one, maybe. 

    relationship headcanon time.

    DISCLAIMER:  i’m going to be a little general with this. individual ships fit into these hcs in some way or another, but i could write an essay on individual relationships and how they either align or vary from what i think of as his typical.

    i think first john has difficulty forming connections that allow for healthy relationships. it’s not impossible ( you know this, and what we’ve plotted speaks to his ability to form a relationship with someone ), but he lacks a lot of empathy and while he can play the part of someone vulnerable and open, it’s normally a facade ( save for what he shows to a few people ).

     the majority of his relationships haven’t been relationships. he uses connections to exploit, manipulate, and to blackmail. and when that’s not it, it’s all physical. sex and relationships enter into john’s self-destructive habits. if you want a messy as hell relationship or fling, hit up john seed, i s2g. he’s going to think very little of establishing a relationship until it hits him out of the blue. there has to be mutual respect, mutual vulnerability, and if he feels that spark of empathy, it might mean something.

    i think he’d value an even playing field when it comes to a relationship. ofc he’d love to hook up with people that feed his ego ( or tear it down, depending on the mood he’s in ), but that’s him looking for a rush, it’s him using sex and intimacy to fill a void. this is the kind of relationship where he’s going to bang down your door at 2 am on the regular and then not speak to you for three days bc he’s repenting.

    so, if he manages to establish a relationship. a real relationship. which, i think there’s a few ways that can happen. both through beginning as a total mess and finding mutual respect or attachment or meeting someone early enough on in his life that they met the john that tried to be normal, that went on dates, and wanted to feel a sense of belonging. then there’s a connection that spans the rise and fall, and there’s potential for all of the vulnerability and respect to exist. if he makes it this far with a person, that’s really when eden’s gate and his family become a hot topic.

    john’s family means the world to him.  if he finds himself in a relationship or connected to someone he genuinely cares about, his family would probably learn about it pretty quickly, if john is serious. he’d go to his brothers for advice. and different types of advice, i imagine. with jacob, he’d be looking for a pragmatic talk. he wants a dose of reality. joseph, he’d want to know if a relationship is the right thing pursue. with joseph, he feels safe spilling his insecurities and wants advice both as his big brother and as the father, bc fuck, these might be serious feelings, but is there room for this in the project? with paul, he’d want the brotherly, i think i have feelings for someone talk, with a side of, does this sound like feelings? wtf are feelings? 

the thing about a serious relationship, where love is involved ( bc while he as a capacity, it’s rare ), is that even john is surprised by his ability to feel it. and he’s pretty self-aware, he knows that others have a larger capacity to care, that he’s fractured in that way. it’s what makes using people and manipulating so easy.

    as far as being involved with the family and the project, these are such crucial elements in his life. he’d want the person to meet his family, he’d want them to show them how important what they’re doing is. he would want them involved in some capacity. and he knows that if they weren’t, eventually, that would have to change.

    NOW. as far as other types of relationships go, he would probably not introduce them to his family or bring them up, period. i’m talking about flings and secret relationships that he has no intention of being serious about. most would be in the category that he doesn’t care to bring up, unless in confession if he thinks he’s spiraling into old habits and too wrapped up in sin. and even then, good luck getting a name out of him. these are people, that at best, there’d be rumors about.

TL;DR ( if you read through this whole thing, ARE YOU OKAY? bc not even i know what i just said )

most of his “relationships” are mutually beneficial and either it’s all about sex or he’s being exploitative in some way. he’ll use you and you can use him. 

he’s capable of actual relationships but it’s very difficult and even under the best circumstances is still going to be difficult. but he values someone that he can respect and that he sees as his equal.

if he is serious about a relationship, welcome to eden’s gate, you’re meeting everyone, you probably should have run.