#expel

It confuses me to no end. Why, us humans metaphorically still settle in maw to bone our fellow-kind as if we’re still in a survival for the fittest world, despite nearly all interactions are behind technologies glaring influence now. Why, we decide to allow squabble and following out with one person, allowing it’s vile to force hands between anyone in the middle, souring connections and burning bridges. Instead there’s allowance to decide every waking thought to ruin instead of turning away, or blocking outright the problem, there has to be attention or bringing to it. A prided contest placed who’s right&wrong and to gain much traction as a game to be tolled as life measured in value. Call it innocence, naive.. But I used to put belief in nearly everyone I had peace in-searching for the outweighing light in someone than the dark of hearts that still have room of sanity.  But like a plague of negative radiation. I’ve suffered under the effects. All this brings is a quicken death to an already scheduled one. I cannot change the flow of perceived thoughts to those who chose to judge me upon another, when they do not hold a signed weight to learn.  I cannot be petty or believe myself above anyone.  The person who I battle on a basis is myself. Constantly trying to improve against it. That is the person who I wage war with and a body that is diseased written. So this once, I absolve myself. So that I may, see the light again, I will take its nutritious positive energy and I’ll be whole.  If it boils your blood that I refuse to be under the blighted cloud and be as miserable that it designs, well you can have it and take the plank for an easy exit from this voyage with me.  I’ve got to do something for myself. I won’t ever not care about others but I can’t allow it to define me either.  I’m bravely gonna step out and settle towards getting my LFRP for contacts and see if I can’t get a new PC crew going and getting more exclusive with the people that have treasured me, where I failed to do so for myself.  Thank you. Sorry, for keeping you waiting.  

you are in my lungs like the nicotine that clings, i cannot expel you you are running through my veins, unable to be flushed from the system you are permeating the air, seeping into every thought every dream every nightmare you are everywhere, and i cannot find ventilation -aerated 7/12