#exo comedy

Surprise! Happy Valentine’s Day @simplyyeol I really hope you enjoy this little thing. I got a little bit carried away and I hoped I could have written more of this Kyungsoo :(

This is a one shot written for the Secret Valentine event of EXO writers network.

Fandom: EXO

Type: Fluff. Comedy

Member: Do Kyungsoo (D.O).

Warnings: None

Word count: 1528

You hated blind dates with a burning passion. You didn’t need to go on a blind date to meet someone. In fact, your main problem was that you talked too much.

gif  © ɪɴᴛᴏᴋᴀɪ ∞

Author: julietsoddeye​ Genre:  Fluff | Slight Comedy Pairing: Jongin x Reader Word Count: 715 Plot: This is not how you planned to be introduced to your boyfriend’s band members!

A/N: Hello friends! This is my entry for #exosecretvalentine19 Valentine’s event! And this is for you @technicallymilkshakes! Hope you like it!!! 😅😩😭

Also I said I won’t follow you until I posted this, but I guess I accidentally followed you when I was stalking your blog one day. FAIL!!! Hopefully you didn’t suspect anything. 😂😭😂😭😂

Summary: Zhang Yixing was a typical jock. He had the looks, athleticism, and cockiness, all the makings of a football boy. Though he was popular and had people around him at all times, he didn’t talk much. There had to be another side to him, and you needed to find out.

PART 9

Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Angst, a rollercoaster of emotions

Member: Lay feat. the rest of ot12 (i think?)

Words: 1,221

A/N: Didn’t hit my word count minimum, but new year, new me, I’m posting this shit. The next part should be the final part.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8

Characters: EXO’s Kai x Reader

Genre: Fluff, attempts at comedy and mentions of smut if ya wanna.

Word Count: 880.

Your lips were parted and your eyebrows were furrowed as his hot, heavy breaths hit the shell of your ear. His hands were firmly placed on your hips, fingers digging with just the right amount of pressure to keep you in place as you arched your neck upwards, exposing your throat to the cold air of the practice room. Your knees curled when you felt you back being pressed flush against his chest and held out your arms, gaze fixed on the mirror wall to observe the position of your bodies.

“No, this is not it. We need to do it again,” you shook your head and straightened your body back to normal, hearing Jongin huff quietly as he put you back down.

“What’s the matter, Y/N? I swear we’ve done this bit two hundred times already,” he whined as he followed you to look at the screen of your phone, which you insisted you two used to record the practice and fix up any mistakes. Kai had thought it was a good idea at first, but now, as he saw you pause on what he thought was a perfectly executed transition and point at your own feet, he was starting to regret his agreement.

“I’m supposed to be en pointe before you pick me up but I keep forgetting, see?” You looked at him and nodded towards the screen with an expression that screamed ‘I don’t know why you don’t see it’, to which he just rolled his eyes and turned around to stride towards his water bottle.

“I think that’s as en pointe as it gets. You have a bone structure, you know?” He teased you with a small smile, you were always too hard on yourself so he tried to get you to relax as much as he could. Sometimes, his attempts even included making a fool out of himself, that evening was the case. “Okay, miss I-want-to-be-an-actual-doll,” you huffed and his smile grew as he started moonwalking towards the centre of the practice room. “Let’s do it again from the top, and make sure to re-”

You turned around from still stressing over the recording when you heard a loud thud, followed by an enthusiastic string of 'fuck’s as Kai rubbed the back of his head which had instants ago bounced against the floor. “You okay? How even do you trip on a tile flo- oh…” He showed you his sole with a small chuckle and you couldn’t help but start laughing once you knew he was okay. “That’s what you get for rehearsing with old stage shoes, you dumbass.”

He shrugged and sat down on the floor to take off his boots. “They’re making me dance in these at the concert anyway, gotta get used,” he chose for lame defense before throwing the pair inside his bag. “I guess we’re done rehearsing anyway, I can’t dance in socks.” He gulped the last bit remaining of his water and walked over to you, ready to leave.

You were gathering up your things as well when you nodded, agreeing with him before something crossed your head. “I’m hoping you don’t think you can walk back home in socks either, there’s surely a great variety and at least one new kind of fungus waiting impatiently to join the EXO dorms. Here, take these,” you fetched him your extra ballerina shoes and his grin turned into a straight line as he catched them mid-air.

“You better not fucking tell Chen I walked back home in ballerina shoes, he’d never let me live past it,” you let out a bright laugh as you saw him struggle with fitting his feet into your shoes and curse at you for it. “It’s not my fault you’re Bigfoot’s third cousin, now hurry up, I’m hungry,” you grinned when he stuck his tongue out at you as if you were nine and confectioned a pretty bow as a knot for the shoes.

You two walked out and headed to your house for dinner. Jongin and you had been friends since the first day of training nine years ago, since the directors kept pairing you two up, you ended up spending lots of time together so gather ups weren’t uncommon even now that you two were each living on your own and had a successful career in idol groups. While you showered, he ordered take out for both of you and you set everything up as he showered afterwards.

As usual, he once again forgot to tell the person on the phone not to add onions to your order because of your allergies, so you once again ended up eating his fried chicken not feeling one ounce of guilt as he looked at it while eating your order, regretting his life decisions. It was okay, though. You knew you couldn’t rely on him and letting him order your food would more likely than not cause you to be close to death, but you could rely on him for other things. You could rely on his strong arms holding you up securely whenever you had to practice an intricate figure, and he could rely on you always having an extra pair of ballerina shoes to cover up for his mistakes. Talking about regretting life decisions…

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 

Chapter 17. It’s Okay, That’s Love

  For a week, you slept over at Minah’s house, avoiding Jongin at all cost to the point that your phone was never ever on anymore.  As you sat up in bed, you wondered what you were going to do now.  It’s not like you were never going to return home but you just needed some time by yourself.  Beside you, your best friend snored in her sleep.  You shook your head amusingly, kicking the blanket over her head to muffle out her snores.  At least you had a best friend to cry to because you sure didn’t want to alert your parents about your runaway. 

  With a sigh, you lied back down onto the bed but as soon as you do, there was a pressure on your abdomen.  Clutching it, you covered your mouth and sprinted to the bathroom.  The loud noises woke up Minah and she immediately got up to check on you. 

  “_______ah?  Are you okay?” she asked worriedly, patting your back. 

  You opened your mouth to reply but ended up hovering over the toilet again to vomit. 

  “_______ah…are you…pregnant?” she cautiously asked as her patting motions slowed down. 

  When you were finally done emptying the contents of your stomach, you stood up straight and nodded in affirmation.  Minah stared at you, tears brimmed on her eyes, which in turn made yours begin to well up too. 

  “_______ah!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around you in a bear hug, “It will be okay.  If that asscrack doesn’t want to take responsibility, I will raise the child with you!!!”

  You separated your hug and laughed, “He doesn’t even know I’m pregnant”.

  “What?  Then why’d you leave him?” she asked dumbfounded. 

  “That’s a long story…” you began. 

    ----

Two days later, you sat in a café for a business meeting with a client.  As you sipped your morning coffee, a familiar face showed up a few feet from you.  At first, you pretended to not see him, concentrating fully on explaining to your client the details of a new contract.  However, Jongin stepped forward and hovered over you. 

  “________ah…” he called but you ignored him. 

  The client looked at you two apprehensively.  You took another sip of your coffee and continued to chat with the client.  Jongin placed his hand on your arm. 

  “We have to talk,” he said.  Oh, now you want to talk.  Now you want to talk…

  You ignored him again. 

  “________ah…” he called, squeezing your arm. 

  Finally you looked up at him with a glare, “I’m doing work right now”.

  “Well, well.  Who do we have here?” you male client asked, motioning for you to introduce your intruder. 

  You parted your lips to speak but Jongin beat you to it. 

  “I’m her husband,” he simply stated, then took your hand and dragged you away. 

  He stopped at a back corner of the café.  Annoyed, you flung your hand away.    

  “KIM JONGIN!” you hissed, “I’m in a business meeting right now”. 

  “________ah, I miss you,” he spoke. 

  Gritting your teeth, you said, “We will talk about this at home”. 

  Clicking your heels, you turned around to leave but he grabbed your arm and pinned you against the wall. 

  “Tell me why you said that,” he commanded, his hands locking your arms in place. 

  “Said what?” you asked confused.

  “I don’t understand why you said that I was treating you like a sex toy,” he explained with a cracked voice. 

  Rolling your eyes, you pushed against him to escape but his hold on you remained strong.  Why are you doing this to me? 

  A tear trickled down your cheeks, despite the fact that you were trying so hard not to cry.  Seeing that, your husband’s grip instantly loosened. 

  “Because we don’t even go out in public anymore.  We don’t date, heck we don’t even talk anymore.  We just have sex all night, every night,” you confessed, and then added, “you don’t even bother to tell me you love me anymore”. 

  “I love you, Jagiya.  I really do,” he replied, bringing your head to his chest. 

  As you opened your mouth to respond, you felt the familiar feeling of nausea.  Your hands clasped over your lips and you darted across the hall to the bathroom.  Stunned, your husband ran after you. 

  Inside, Jongin patted your back worriedly while you hovered over a toilet.  Holding your stomach, your back began to hurt and your throat felt like it was ripping into shreds.  You ended up sobbing uncontrollably. 

  “Jagiya…are you okay?” your husband asked. 

  “Just…just go.  Please,” you begged through your tears, “I need some time alone”. 

  Jongin hesitated but you harshly flung the stall’s door in his face.  From the narrow slit, you watched him reluctantly retreat.  You rubbed your growing belly and continued to vomit into the toilet bowl. 

  -----    

  Two weeks passed and your baby bump was beginning to show.  Jongin had constantly sent gifts over to Minah’s place for you, including flowers, necklaces, and sparkling diamonds.  You had no problem ignoring him since you were never a materialistic person.

  But staring at today’s gift, you couldn’t do the same.  A small blue box sat on the center if your palms.  Inside were a key and a note that read, “________’s Art Gallery”.  Your fingers grazed over the metal as a tear rolled down your cheek.  You recalled that he did indeed promise to buy you an art gallery. 

  From behind, Minah placed her chin on your shoulder to peep at the object that had caused you to be in such an emotional state.  You sniffled back tears when she patted your back. 

  “Did he buy you a vacation home in Paris?  If so, you should forgive him!” she joked, plopping himself down on the bed. 

  You giggled through your tears, “It’s better than that”. 

    Throwing on a light jacket and your pink bow flats, you walked out of the house to find your poor, lonely husband. 

  “Oppa, it must have been hard for you,” you whispered to no one in particular. 

  Rubbing your tummy, you skipped happily down the street.  A red Mercedes pulled up in front of you and you grinned widely.  However, because you were semi-stubborn, you wanted to give him a final test.  So instead of walking toward him, you crossed your arms and turned around.  Immediately, you heard the sound of the car door open then slam shut. 

  “Jagiya!” Jongin called.

  A small smile appeared on your lips but you quickly hid it and feigned a pout. 

  “I don’t want to see you,” you faked an angry tone while stomping off. 

  He rushed over and surprised you with a tight back hug.  You gasped in shock but relaxed in his embrace. 

  “Jagiya…” his voice cracked.  Was he crying? 

  Your eyebrows furrowed but you don’t turn around.  Your hubby placed his chin against your shoulder.  Automatically, your hands stroked his shaking arms.  Were you being too harsh?  With a blank expression, you turned around to look at him, but he tightened his hug.  

  “Jagiya, I love you.  I really do.  I know you don’t believe me now but I will prove it to you with time.  I will wait for you.  One month, two months, a whole year, even ten years – it doesn’t matter.  I will wait,” he tearfully confessed.

  Your lips quivered.

  “When you are ready, let’s start over.  Please give me a chance to take care of you and love you right,” he finished.

  Nuzzling in your hair, he kissed the side of your face.  I’m ready now.  Let’s start over!  You turned around to look at him but he abruptly lets go of his hug.  Before you could even say a word, he had gotten back into his car. 

  “Oppa…” you called but he already drove off.  OMG YOU PABO.  MY HUSBAND IS A PABO. 

  Digging into your pocket, you searched for your phone to call him but were disappointed it was empty.  Dammit, is this some kdrama joke?  Hurriedly, you rushed back to Minah’s house.  You flung the door open in lightning speed, causing your best friend’s mouth to drop onto her chin. 

  “My husband is a pabo!” you said, searching around for your phone. 

  You looked through the laundry basket, under the bed, even searched through Minah’s butt pockets, but it was gone.  For the past month, you had ignored Jongin’s calls to the point that you haven’t even seen your phone for the longest time. 

  “Minah, let me use your phone!” you commanded, grabbing it from her hands before she could even respond. 

  “Heyyyy!  I was so close to beating my high score!” your best friend whined. 

  Quickly, you punched in Jongin’s digits.  The phone rang.  Your heartbeat raced at the speed of light.  You pouted hearing his voicemail.  Really?!  Was he pulling a prank on you?!  What guy apologizes to his wife then leaves before he hears her reply…and now not even answer her call???  You hung up and redialed.  Beside you, Minah leaned her ear against the back of her phone to eavesdrop. 

  “Wow.  His voice is pretty sexy on record,” she joked and you rolled your eyes. 

  Disappointed, you tossed the phone back to Minah.  She clumsily leaned over to catch it as it bounced off the bed.  Childishly, you pouted and burst into tears.  Your best friend looked at you as if you were insane. 

  “Fine!  Fine!  If he doesn’t want to answer my calls then I don’t want to see him!” you shouted, punching a pillow. 

  “Jeez, your preggo hormones are going crazy,” Minah murmured. 

  You glared and her and she immediately covered her mouth with both her hands.  Groaning, you faceplanted onto your thighs.  Kim Jongin, pabo!  PABO! 

  ----

Three days later, you were sleeping comfortably snuggled with your forever alone boyfriend pillow, when someone shook you awake.  Wiping your drool, you threw the cover over your head.

  “Five more minutes, Minah!” you grunted. 

  “________ah,” a familiar female voice called. 

  You blinked a few times before you finally processed who it was.  Immediately, you kicked the covers off to greet your visitor.

  “Omunim, good morning,” you bowed your head in embarrassment.  

  “How is my beautiful daughter-in-law?” she asked, tenderly stroking your cheek. 

  Shifting around nervously, you desperately finger-combed through your bed head. 

  “I’m well, Omunim.  How about you?” you cautiously asked. 

  She exaggerated a sigh as she slumped her shoulders. 

  “Not well at all,” she replied. 

  With your eyebrows furrowed, you crawled over to join her at the end of the bed.  Your hand rested against hers and she patted it gently. 

  “Why, Omunim?  Tell me and let me help you with your problem,” you said genuinely curious as to what was upsetting your precious mother-in-law.  You were ready to fight them to death. 

  She exaggerated another sigh and you tensed up, getting super worried that something dramatic had happened.  She doesn’t have some deadly illness right?  You didn’t even want to think about it.

  “How could I be happy when my daughter-in-law left me?” she revealed.

  You let out a foolish crackle as you wrapped your arms around her. 

  “I have the best Omunim in the world!” you exclaimed. 

  “Then why would you leave me?  Is it Omunim’s fault?  Did I pressure you two too hard for a grandchild?” she asked worriedly. 

  Immediately, you shook your head.

  “Of course not.  Whatever is going on between Oppa and I have nothing to do with you,” you assured. 

  She shook her head not believing you. 

  “Though…I do have something to tell you…” you tempted. 

  Your mother-in-law raised her eyebrows. 

  “I may be able to grant you your wish by the end of the year,” you shyly replied, recoiling into your blanket. 

  Blinking a few times in puzzlement, she looked at you then your stomach then at you again.  Timidly, you nodded in confirmation.  In an instant, her frown flipped upside-down into the biggest grin you’ve ever seen appear on her face. 

  “_______ah!” she called, squeezing your hand as she jumped up and down like a kid. 

  You giggled along.  As you followed her back to the Kim manor, she patted your hand and said, “Make sure to tell me if Jongin hasn’t been treating you well”.

  With a gracious smile, you shook your head to decline her offer. 

  “I’ll kick him out of the house if I have to!” she joked. 

  Sighing contently, you walked up the stairs to your bedroom.  The road there felt so nostalgic.  You recalled the first time you walked up those steps when you had apparently “infected” your husband.  Giggling, you knocked on the door.  No one responded but you opened the door anyway. 

  Your smile immediately dropped.  Crumpled cans of beer and shattered glass bottles of wine covered the entire floor, tainting your beautiful Egyptian cotton rug.  You gaped in horror.  The smell of alcohol made you feel sick.  You held your stomach so that you wouldn’t hurl. 

  “GO AWAY!  I don’t want to eat anything!” Jongin hollered from under his blankets. 

  With a sigh, you tiptoed your way to the bed, making sure that you wouldn’t cut your feet with the shards of glass.  Stupid, dumb hubby L. 

  You placed your hand on his arm. 

  “I said go away!  I am not eating!” he stubbornly growled, still not looking up. 

  Your upper and lower lips smacked together into a thin line. 

  Crossing your arms, you asked, “Not even friend chicken?” 

  Jongin jolted up, staring at you as if you were a ghost. 

  “I’ll leave then…” you said, pretending to turn around. 

  Instantaneously, he grabbed onto your hand and murmured, “Jagiya…”.

  A small smile crept onto your face.  You turned around and sat down on the end of the bed.  He stared at you intently as if still believing that you were a hallucination. 

  “Kim Jongin-ssi, how are you going to take care of me if you can’t even take care of yourself?” you asked as a matter of fact, pointing at all the junk that covered your beautiful floors. 

  “D-does…does that mean you forgive me?” he cautiously questioned.  What do you think pabo?  No, I just came back for the fun of it?

  “Maybe if you finish this whole box of chicken…I’ll think about it…” you teased, side eyeing him. 

  Immediately, he took the box out of your outstretched hands.  He devoured the contents like a hungry bear.  Shaking the box upside-down, he looked at you for approval.  You stifled back a giggle.  Oh, how much he looked like a lost puppy. 

  “Maybe if you pick up the trash on the floor…and clean my Egyptian cotton mat…” you continued to tease. 

  Without a word, your husband leapt from the bed to clean up the mess.  At one point, he almost cut his finger with a glass shard.  You squatted down beside him, pulling his hand to your face to examine his cut. 

  “Pabo!  Does that hurt?” you asked worriedly. 

  “Not as much as it hurt watching you leave me,” he admitted. 

  You let go of his hand, sighing in defeat.  Your husband always knew how to pull at your heartstrings.  Smiling, he cautiously leaned in to give you a peck on your lips.  You giggled into the kiss, but gently pushed him away. 

  With your nose crinkled you said, “And maybe you need to shower…then I’ll forgive you”. 

  He bounced up, saluted you, and said, “Yes, Madam”. 

  You threw your head back laughing as you playfully smacked his behind. 

    That night as you snuggled up against your hubby in bed, you finally realized how much you missed his embrace.  He leaned in to kiss you on top of your head and you pulled him closer.  You never wanted to leave him ever again. 

  “Oppa…are you sure you don’t want to uh…“fight” tonight?  Because, if we don’t then we can’t for the next six and a half months…” you informed, resting your head on his chest. 

  “Nope, I just want to cuddle with you for the rest of the night,” he responded, giving you butterfly kisses on your nose. 

  Then when he reinterpreted your words, his eyebrows furrowed.  He pulled you apart from him to look at your expression.

  “Why six and a half months though?  Are you leaving me again?” he asked frantically. 

  “No, pabo,” you said, burying your head back into his chest, “we’re having a baby”. 

  His body tensed.  Frightened, you looked up.  Did he not like children?

  “Oppa…?” you fearfully called out. 

  His body shook as he hid his face in the palm of his hand.  Worried, you sat up straight and pried his hand to look at his expression.  You snorted.  Your husband was laughing so, so hard that his laughs were inaudible.  Picking up a pillow, you smacked him in the face.  But he continued to laugh like a maniac, which in turn caused you to uncontrollably giggle as well. 

  “Oppaaaa…what’s wrong with you?” you half-whined. 

  “I have super sperms,” he managed to say in between his laugh. 

  Rolling your eyes, you dropped your fluffy weapon and bounced back onto his chest.  Automatically, he threw his arm around your shoulder.  His lips landed on your temples and you sighed in contentment.  Still recovering from his fit of laughter, he leaned over and turned off the lamp.     

  “We’re having six children,” he whispered.

  “No, we aren’t”.

  “Yes, we are”.

  “No”.

  “Yes”. 

  “No”.

  “Yes”.

      a/n: YAY The last chapter of Temporary Affairs!!  I hope you guys enjoyed it.  It’s been a wonderful journey spazzing with you guys about Kim Jongin TAT.  I’m in such delulu right now, I think I’m starting to believe I actually have a husband hahaha. 

  I initially wrote a longer version of this chapter with an epilogue similar to The Lucky One’s where there’s a time skip but I didn’t like it and scrapped it.  Which brings me to ask you guys a question…ARE YOU READY TO SPAZ MORE!?  Because I sure am.  :p There’s two secret links within this chapter. LOL FIND IT.  SCAVENGER HUNT START.  Send me a message when you find it.  I won’t publish it until most of you have found it LOL.  But make sure you DO NOT reblog with the answer or comment in this post with it.  JUST SAY “I FOUND IT” in the answers ;p or msg my inbox Hahaha   (ﾟヮﾟ)

SCAVENGER HUNT HAS ENDED.  FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, THERE IS A PART 2 TO THIS SERIES!!!  GO READ CHP 1 NOW HERE: Chapter 1 Unasked Questions 

Author: @loeyeolty AU: Professor AU Genre: Comedy Pairing: Suho, Chen, and D.O. x Yanmei (OC) Word Count: 335

Plot: Yanmei’s co-teachers wanted her to teach them something...

A/N: LMFAO HELLOOOOO, it’s me Aikie!!! Michiko wrote this piece by my request a long time ago (It’s been sitting in our drafts since forever lol) and I edited and even made a very effortless banner for this, with @loeyeolty‘s permission of course! This was inspired by our favorite drama, Drinking Solo. Just one of the many crazy antics in our GC, it’s lightweight comedy and I hope you all enjoy!!!