#jongdae scenario

Then he tilts his head back again. You laugh and feed him a piece of cotton candy, feeling his lips close warmly over the tip of your retreating fingers.

“So sweet,” he says, grimacing a little before catching your smile. He automatically smiles back. You kiss his cheek.

“Aww. My little sugar rush.”

**

You sit on the bench after the cotton candy is all gone, swinging your legs back and forth. His warmth brushes your side. You start humming, random notes strung together until you find a little progression you like. Jongdae, next to you, puts words to it. It’s silly and nonsensical, something about a lonely dinosaur growing pansies to sell at the market so he can buy a new friend.

When you stop humming, he grabs your hand and pulls you up. His words gently diminish into a soft thrum of noise and he tugs you, walking backwards. 

“What?” you ask. Has it always been this impossible to stop smiling around him? 

He shrugs. “Just wanna keep looking at you.” 

You groan, horrifically pleased. “You’re so cheesy.”

“I’m cheesy, huh?” His eyesbrows quirk upwards. 

“Yeah.”

“Cheesy?!” He bends and wraps his arms low around you, then picks you up and sweeps you in a circle. “Cheesy!”

“Jongdae!” you scream and laugh all at once, your hands clutching at his shoulders.

He stops spinning and holds you there for a moment, looking up at you. “Cheesy, huh,” he repeats, his voice soft and fond. 

“Yes,” you say. “Very cheesy.” Then you kiss him on the nose. He closes his eyes when you do, eyes crinkled and lips curled. Pleased. He opens them after a moment, watches you for a heartbeat more, then lets you slide slowly back to earth.

He tilts your head up and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

“I didn’t know the carnival had a new attraction,” you murmur. 

He grins roguishly.

“I am a pretty good ride, aren’t I. Handsome, too.”

“And humble to boot,” you add dryly.

The two of you continue walking, making your way off the pier and back onto the beach. You coax Jongdae into a race, but the two of you are still holding hands. The pair of you tumble onto the sand in a domino effect when Jongdae trips over his own feet. The two of you lay there, laughing and panting, for a long moment as you catch your breath. Your hands find each other again, and your fingers interlace. 

It’s blissful, this moment so achingly perfect that you miss it already. Far out in the distance, illuminated boats seem to drift on an inky night. 

Jongdae shifts beside you, then kneels over you. The brightness of him sweeps over you, eclipsing the moon. You glow there beneath him, the memory of this moment, this night, reflecting between the two of you. 

“Still alive over here?” he asks. He squeezes your hand.

“Yes.” You pull in a breath of air, full of the ocean, sunblock, and the lingering sweetness of cotton candy. You squeeze his hand back. “Still alive.” 

You first met Jongdae on your way back from a party at your friend’s place. It was a stormy night, and you were stuck seeking shelter at a bus stop without a jacket or umbrella—curse the weatherman for providing false information about the weather! You were wet, cold, and really fucking grumpy. What was supposed to be a celebratory night was immediately dampened by the terrible weather—not to mention that the bus you were taking was late too.

“Here.”

You turned with a frown towards the voice, and there stood Jongdae. He adorned a sweet smile and held out one of those collapsible umbrellas as if to say, go on, it’s for you.

But what really made you confused was the fact that this guy was dry. It was raining cats and dogs—how was this guy dry like he hadn’t stepped a foot outside? And yet, here he was, beside you beneath the bus shelter.

“...Thanks,” you finally said after a long moment, accepting the umbrella from the strange man.

That was the moment that sparked something between the two of you. Whenever you caught yourself without protection in the middle of a rainstorm, Jongdae was always there to provide. It was strange at first—who wouldn’t be creeped out by a strange man who only appeared whenever it rained? But, eventually you did muster the courage to speak to the man; albeit, a little harsher than you wanted to, inquiring how and why the man always seemed to be there whenever you forgot an umbrella in the rain.

Jongdae wasn’t quite sure why he kept an eye on you, either. Perhaps it was the pity that started it, watching you as you dashed through the rain towards the bus shelter with nothing to shield you.

But nonetheless, he’s quite glad you eventually opened up to him; and he, to you.

“I have to give up my powers,” Jongdae suddenly whispers, bringing you back to the present. 

“Wait, what?” you gasp, bewildered at the sudden revelation. He has to what?

“Mother Nature isn’t happy,” he begins to explain. “She claims you’re pulling me from my duties, which is to bring storms around the world. I’ve been staying here too long—either I leave you, or I give up my powers and become a real human.”

“Then leave,” is your immediate response. You pull away from him, holding Jongdae at arm’s length. You didn’t want to be the reason he loses his powers for good; and besides, why would Jongdae, a nature spirit who has existed since the beginning to time, give up his powers all for you, a simple human with a lifespan just shy of a century?

But then Jongdae’s shaking his head. “No,” he whispers.

“Why?” you ask. “You’ve lived for longer than I can even start to comprehend. I’ve barely lived a mere fraction of your lifetime. Why give it all up for me?”

Jongdae smiles, one of his hands coming up to caress the side of your face gently. The rain is still pouring, water streaming down your cheeks and it makes your hair stick to the sides of your face; but Jongdae still gazes at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“Sacrifice,” he answers. “That’s what we do for the people we love.”

Then he reaches down and tugs the ring off his finger, giving it a mighty toss over the edge of the building.

Mother Nature responds with the loudest, the most fierce clap of thunder—

—and everything ceases.

The dying rain begins to stream down Jongdae’s now-human form, soaking his hair and his clothes.

The sound of the rain pouring outside serves to bring him comfort during this time. The sound of crashing thunder, followed swiftly by a flash of lightning sends a small shiver down his spine.

Ever since he can remember, Jongdae has loved storm week. He can feel his whole body come alive from the electricity that surges through the air during this time. Only he is able to venture out during this time, thanks to his powers. Being able to manipulate electrical currents has never worked more in his favour.

Standing closest to the opening of the cave, he shifts quickly. Lightning flashes once more, illuminating the main entrance as he looks back into his home one final time before stepping out onto the ledge. The rain begins to pelt against his entire being, the water serving to illuminate his black, iridescent scales. He allows his eyes to fall shut, revelling in the sensations he’s feeling. 

God, how he’s missed this.

Spreading his wings fully, he allows himself to get used to the feeling of the rain beating against his skin before taking off into the stormy sky. He and his brothers need more supplies, otherwise they may not last much longer through the week. He knows for a fact quite a few of them weren’t expecting to have an extra mouth to feed during this time. Though he assumes it’s not really much of a difference in numbers considering Junmyeon isn’t with them this time. 

Jongdae supposes being trapped for a week with one’s mate can’t be too bad, all things considered. As long as the two get along well enough, things should be fine. Though, he can’t help but be slight envious of his one brother. Despite Baekhyun’s mate also being stuck with them, Junmyeon has it good. Instead of being stuck in a house with all of his brothers, plus his mate, he gets to hide away in her cabin with just the two of them. If any progress is to be made between the two fo them, Jongdae supposes it would have to be during this time, and from Luhan’s reports, it sounds to be working out just fine.

Flying just below the cloud line, he can feel the static spiking in the air, alerting him to another lightning strike that is to come. Gliding past, lightning forks beside him, and he spins through the air, a huff of amusement escaping his nose. Luckily, he doesn’t need to be too worried about being spotted during this time, mainly because of the weather, but also since his scales are as dark as the night sky. The blackness allows him to blend into his surroundings anyways, should any brave or daring hunters be out during this time.

Turning in the opposite direction he usually flies in, he lets out a small snort. He knows better than to attempt to gather the needed supplies from the village located just off of the coastline. Considering everything that’s happened there so far, he knows he should avoid it for the time being. Not only did his one brother kidnap the leader’s daughter, but Junmyeon is stuck just on the outskirts of the village. Though Jongdae supposes Junmyeon’s mate makes the situation worth while for him. However, he knows going into that village for supplies would be unwise.

Pushing himself against the wind, he can feel the muscles of his wings straining. It’s been quite a while since he’s faced such strong winds. Even the rain seems to be thicker this time around, almost feeling like tiny pebbles once coming into contact with his scales.

Pushing through the storm, he sees the small town he’s been sent out to raid come into view. This town is hidden deep within the forest behind the dragon’s mountain. Approximately sixty people live there in total, for it’s more of a traveller’s rest stop than anything. Knowing the time of year, and how small the town is, he plans to be in and out within fifteen minutes at the most.

Landing a little ways from town, Jongdae shifts back into his human form, slipping on the spare pair of pants he so meticulously held in his one claw while flying over here. They’re a little bit wet, but they’re better than walking around naked, or in his giant dragon form.

Weaving through the trees, he moves as quickly as he can considering the wind and rain which still pelts against him from all angles. It’s much harder to move in this form through the storm than when he’s in his dragon one. He grits his teeth in slight frustration, raising a hand slightly in front of his face to block some of the rain from obscuring his vision.

He can faintly see the lights from the town ahead, blurred as they are from the rain. Each step closer that he takes, he prepares for what he’s about to do.

Locating the local rest stop and barn, he focuses his gaze on the latter of the two. Concentrating, he begins to feel the spike in electricity in the air as he directs a bolt of lightning to hit the side of the barn. Almost immediately, flames burst onto the side of the wood.

Faintly, he can hear shouting coming from inside the rest stop before a few workers burst out into the rain. Jongdae makes sure not to create too much of an issue for them with the fire, just enough so they’ll be too distracted to notice him slipping inside and grabbing some supplies for himself and his brothers.

So far, his plan is going smoothly. He’s able to get inside without being spotted, grabbing a few large bags that rest near the side of the kitchen and filling them with food and other supplies he and his brothers need to survive for a little while longer.

The sound of voices approaching from outside in the storm begins to become louder, signalling to him that it’s time to go. Swiftly, he tosses the bags over his shoulders, wobbling a bit under the bulk of them as he attempts to find his balance. Luckily, he’s able to make it out in time before the first of the workers can reenter the kitchen and spot him.

Carefully moving through the woods once more, he finds it much more difficult this time around with the bags now over his shoulders. He can’t wait to be able to shift back into his dragon form and fly home.

Making it back to his original position, he’s able to shift without an issue. Giving himself a good shake, he flicks the excess water off of his being before stretching out his wings and preparing for takeoff, the bags now clutched in his claws for safe keeping.

Thunder crashes once more as he takes off from the ground, gaining height and momentum with each passing second. Once he’s high enough, he begins his journey back home, wanting to get back to his brothers and out of this storm as soon as possible. Jongdae loves storms, though he doesn’t necessarily love being drenched in water.

Once he’s about a quarter of the way home, he notices the rain starting to lighten up slightly, and he takes a deep breath in. His chest involuntarily lets out a slight grumble as a faint, but pleasant scent hits his nostrils. Taking another deep breath, it happens again, and he finds himself being drawn to the scent that keeps waning in and out. However, the closer he gets to the origin of the scent, the more off course he becomes, and the more the smell of blood is becoming prominent in the air.

His eyes flash a deeper yellow than normal as his teeth become bared. He doesn’t understand why, but the sudden urge to protect something overcomes him, an almost primal instinct which cause him to increase his speed the closer he gets to the origin of the scent in the air. 

Ever so faintly, he can hear rustling coming from the forest beneath him, as if two beings were rushing through the foliage, one giving chase to the other. He follows them just above the tree line, noticing a small clearing up ahead that’s just big enough for him to land in if need be.

His heart nearly stops in his chest as he sees you run out of the woods, breathless and injured, being chased down by a bear that’s four times your size. He understands now his sudden rush of emotions, and why the scent in the air enticed him so.

You’re his mate.

Seeing you trip over a root, then slipping due to some mud seemingly snaps him back to his senses, swooping down just in time to prevent the bear from swiping at your cowering form. He lands just overtop of you, covering your entire being with his own and letting out a threatening roar towards the bear.

Sensing the threat he now poses, the bear freezes, turning around in the next moment to run in the opposite direction. A low growl escapes his lips as he watches the bear disappear back into the woods, his tail swishing threateningly behind him as his body now shelters you from the rain.

A broken sob leaves your lips and he swears his heart breaks for you. He can see you visibly trembling beneath him, and he wonders if this is how Baekhyun felt the first time he met his mate: hopeless and sad. 

Given any other situation, he would have already shifted into his human form and attempted to comfort you, but he needs to get back to his brothers, plus he still has all their supplies with him, and the storm is starting to pick up again. However, he can’t just leave you here all by yourself. What kind of mate would he be if he did that?

Backing up slightly to get a better look at you, he stares you down, a type of fondness shining in his eyes that you mistake for hunger. Your entire body trembles as you attempt to back away from him, wincing as you put too much pressure on your wounded arm. His growl causes you to flinch.

What a way to die. If not by a bear, by a dragon. You can feel your heart racing in your chest, the adrenaline still pumping through your veins, though it’s beginning to wear off. You just hope this dragon makes it quick and painless, for you don’t think you could handle anymore pain tonight. The bear already took a large gash out of your arm with its claws, half of your shirt soaked with your own blood.

You end up staring into the eyes of the dragon for a good while, feeling the rain soaking through your clothes as it chills you to your bones. A shiver runs down your spine, and you can feel yourself beginning to become light headed from the amount of blood you’ve lost. You choke on a sob, fearing what will become of you in the next few minutes.

Your sob seems to pull the dragon out of whatever trance it’s been in, for it blinks in the next moment before stretching it’s large wings out behind itself. The force of the wind nearly knocks you completely to the ground as the dragon takes off, but not before grabbing you in one of its claws.

“Put me down!” You screech, struggling slightly in the dragon’s hold, only serving to aggravate your wound. “Let me go!”

The further away from ground you get, the more lightheaded you become. Additionally, it’s becoming more difficult for you to see, considering the wind has now become more intense, and the rain is still continuing to assault you while in the air. You notice a few bags held in the dragon’s opposite claw, finding it odd that it would be carrying such a thing. 

You begin to find it more difficult to breathe, and you can feel the dragon tighten it’s hold on you, almost as if reassuring you that you’ll be fine. You just hope that you don’t end up dead.

After a few minutes, Jongdae notices you’ve stopped struggling in his grip. He glances down at you, worry shining in his eyes even though it appears as if you’ve just passed out. He needs to get home, and quick.

Luhan, I’ve got a situation here, get Yixing ready, he calls out for his brother in his mind, wanting to make sure you get medical attention as soon as the two of you are back home.

Oh, dear lord, don’t tell me the humans got you, too, comes his brother’s response.

No, something much worse, Jongdae replies, seeing the mountain get closer with each passing second.

Jongdae… Luhan’s worried voice echoes in his mind.

I’ll explain when I’m back, just be ready, is the last thing he says before pushing himself as hard as he can for the final leg of the journey.

Seeing the cave opening come into view, he lets out a final roar. Bursting into his home, he allows the bags of supplies to drop to the floor as he shifts almost immediately, you carried in his arms.

“Jongdae, I swear to god, if you’re missing a limb-“ Yixing’s comment dies in his throat once he sees how distressed his brother looks with you in his arms.

“I found her running through the woods being chased by a bear. She’s bleeding really badly,” Jongdae explains, moving quickly over to the couch to place you upon it as some of his other brothers come into the room to see what all the commotion is about. “Please, you have to help her.”

Once he’s placed you gently on the couch, he kneels beside you, holding your one hand in his as he gently strokes your forehead, brushing your hair back from your face. He can still feel his heart racing in his chest, scared he’s going to lose you after only just finding you.

“Let me see what I can do,” Yixing responds gently, moving over to the couch where the two of you are. He begins to remove your torn sleeve, only receiving a warning growl from Jongdae. “I need to see the wound in order to assess it, now, don’t I?”

Jongdae manages to calm himself slightly by looking at Yixing’s now quirked eyebrow. Despite not liking the fact that his brother is revealing your skin like this, he knows there’s no other way if he wants that wound of yours to heal properly.

“Jongdae, why don’t you give Yixing some space to work,” Luhan suggests gently, a soft, knowing smile planted on his lips.

“Yeah, and put some pants on,” Sehun teases, causing Jongdae to send a glare his way. The pants he had originally brought with him got lost in the woods after he found you, but he couldn’t care less about them right now. 

Letting out a small sigh, he reluctantly lets go of your hand and backs away from you. Moving down the hallway, he nearly races to his room, throws on another pair of pants, then comes back to the living room where you still lay resting on the couch. 

He notices his brother healing you, watching as your wounds begin to close slowly. A small, relieved smile tugs at his lips as he notices your features beginning to relax the more the wound closes. He doesn’t know what he would do if he found you only to lose you immediately afterwards.

Once Yixing is finished, Jongdae immediately moves over to your side, taking his place once more by kneeling beside you. You seem to subconsciously relax even further when he holds your hand, a fact which makes his beast hum contently in his chest.

“You should let her rest,” Yixing tells him. “If you said she was being chased by a bear in this weather, only to be confronted by a dragon, her body is most likely under a significant amount of stress right now.”

“I know,” he sighs, looking up briefly at his brother only to turn his gaze back to you in the next second. He’s noticed most of his other siblings have moved off once more in favour of unpacking the supplies he’s brought back, opting to give him some space during this time, of which he appreciates greatly. “I’m going to take her to my room.”

“Just be careful, she has lost a lot of blood,” Yixing responds, nodding one final time at Jongdae before heading back to his own room.

Ever so gently, he lifts you off the couch and carries you to his room, closing the door softly behind him. Placing you on his bed, he tucks you in, noticing how you bury yourself deeper into his pillow, a small smile gracing your features as you sleep peacefully.

A low hum escapes passed his lips in content, his heart skipping a beat after finally being able to calm down. He manages to pull up a chair beside his bed, and he wonders if this is how Baekhyun felt waiting for his own mate to wake up in his room all those days ago.

Leaning forwards slightly, he gently strokes the side of your cheek, his chest rumbling as he feels your soft skin beneath his fingertips. He can’t wait for you to wake up so he can properly introduce himself to you. You’re so beautiful, practically perfect to him, and he doesn’t even know your name yet.

Moving day was more organized than you expected. You only had to bring over the pile of stuff you accumulated while staying with Minseok, and the rest already had a place at home with Jongdae. Most of your items were easily settled and in their places within a couple of hours, much to your satisfaction. The only thing left to do was to get the remainder of your clothes put away. 

As you folded and hung up your clothes, it hit you that while most of your other tastes had stayed the same, your choice in clothing hadn't. In the course of six years, your wardrobe had changed almost completely. 

"I feel like I'm shopping through my own closet," you said over your shoulder. Rummaging through coats and sweaters, you were impressed by certain fashions choices, and oddly confused at others. "Did I really wear this orange sweater?" You took it out by the hanger, lifting it up just as Jongdae peeked out from the bathroom. 

"You did, and I always said that you looked like a pumpkin. A very cute pumpkin, I might add." Jongdae laughed, even with his mouth full of toothpaste. 

You hung the fuzzy blob of a sweater back up, failing to hide the smile working its way onto your face at Jongdae's words. "I guess I know why I kept it," you said to yourself as Jongdae finished brushing his teeth. He joined you at the closet soon after, similarly dressed in his well-loved pajamas. 

"I forgot you even had this," he chuckled. Jongdae reached out, fingers running down the woolen fabric of the sweater. "I never knew why you didn't donate or throw it away. You always said it was too scratchy to wear." 

Eyebrows raised in disbelief, you crossed your arms over your chest. "Really? You honestly don't have any idea why?" 

Jongdae was still confused, staring harder at the sweater as if he would find the answer there. "No... why?" 

"I probably kept it because you liked it so much! Who doesn't want to be called a 'cute pumpkin' by their husband?" 

"Huh." Jongdae's head cocked to the head slightly, studying the article of clothing one last time before turning to you. "You didn't have to do that. I know you don't usually like this style." 

"I mean, technically I didn't do anything. 'Past me' did." 

Jongdae smiled, closing the distance and putting his arms around your waist. "Well, 'past you' is still you." He kissed the crown of your head, his lips lingering a but longer before he rested his cheek against your hair. "Ready for bed?" 

It amused Jongdae to watch you hop in on the left side of the bed, a spot you always claimed. You pulled a pillow close to you as you brought the fluffy blanket over your shoulders, sniffing curiously as you caught a whiff of a familiar scent. 

"Lavender," you mused, diving down for another sniff. 

"To help you sleep," Jongdae explained as he turned off the light on the nightstand. "You used to talk about how it takes forever for you to fall asleep." He stifled a laugh as he lay down, resting his head on the pillow underneath. "And if we're being honest, you were sort of jealous of my ability to fall asleep in five seconds flat." 

You mirrored Jongdae, lying down and facing him as you clutched the pillow tightly to you with both arms. "I'm still jealous, now that you've brought that up," you pouted. 

Jongdae cooed with sympathy, scooting closer and bringing one arm up to encircle as much of you as he could. "Hopefully the lavender helps tonight."

"I'm sure it will." You smiled up at him before hugging him back, the pillow between both of you making it hard to get your arm over his waist. To Jongdae's amusement, you shoved the pillow out of the way before snuggling closer, nose pressed into his shirt. 

And sure enough, you slept better than you did in a long time. 

"Y/N, can you bring me the scallops?"

"Yes, chef!" You picked up the hot pan with a towel, warning your fellow chefs as you stepped past before placing on the counter next to Key. He finished plating his risotto before reaching for the scallops, sending you a quick thanks before focusing entirely on the food before him. 

"Mingyu, I need garnish soon! Kyungsoo, get ready to have your salmon up to the counter!" 

Both men were quick to respond to the head chef, Mingyu readying dainty flowers to be sprinkled atop the scallop risotto while Kyungsoo wiped the edges of his salmon dishes. 

You went to check on the meal ticket one last time, making sure that nothing was missing. Under Key's supervision, his dishes were immaculate and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. 

Once Jaehyun came to take the dishes out, the whole process started all over again. Key led your team through a couple orders of spicy pork over cauliflower rice and, much to Kyungsoo's delight, wasabi tacos. Time seemed to fly past as you all finished up the last of the main dishes and started on desserts. 

Service ended with a last order of lychee cheesecake and mini red bean pancakes topped with French vanilla ice cream, your mouth watering at the sight of them. 

"Good work tonight, everybody. That was the best service we've had in a long time. Maybe even since Y/N was last here," he added, giving you a thumbs-up. "Alright, let's clean up and get the hell out of here. I'm dying for a drink." 

You rolled back your shoulders, stretching out the sore muscles and moving onto your neck when Kyungsoo called out to you. "You okay?" 

"Yeah, my body's just stiff. Too much sitting around at home for me really left me out of shape," you joked. 

Kyungsoo's eyes softened in sympathy. "It's tough jumping back into this after so long. You'll get used to it again though."

"Sounds like you speak from experience?"

"Yeah, before I got hired here, I did my military service. I had to leave my job at Junmyeon's old restaurant, Oasis, but he offered me one here once I got out. I thought I'd ease back in like I never left, but it was weird to get back into the habit of cooking in an environment like this. Not just physically, but mentally as well." He leaned back against the counter, throwing the towel in his hand onto his shoulder and crossing his arms. "Luckily, Key is a decent head chef, when he's not sending drunk texts to the groupchat."

"I can hear you Do Kyungsoo, and those counters won't wipe themselves!" Key yelled from the walk-in fridge. 

You stifled your giggles as Kyungsoo flinched, immediately reaching up for his towel and searching for the nearest surface to start cleaning. 

Sure, your body wasn't used to the stress of pulling through a service like this, but you felt better than you had in a long time. It also helped that you had been welcomed back so cheerfully. Of course, everyone in the kitchen was overjoyed to have you there. Your tasks had been divvied up and shared among the remaining four chefs, the managers even stepping in to help wherever they could. 

But you could feel the camaraderie between everyone, and the way that this same friendship was extended towards you. The younger ones liked to rope you into their antics, Lucas and Mark often looking to you for your opinion whenever they got into an enthusiastic discussion about, well, anything. The latest debate had been over which Smash Bros character was the best. 

Your happiness at work filtered into your cheeriness at home, and vice versa. Your parents were even able to pick up on your cheery mood as you talked to them over the phone. Although they were cities away and unable to come up to Seoul as often as they liked, you made the effort to call them at least once a week. 

Jongdae liked to say hi to your parents whenever he heard that you were on the phone with them. Nothing more than the usual effervescent, genuine greeting, and then he left you with a kiss and your privacy to continue your phone call. As familiar as he was with your parents, you were almost terrified about meeting his. It was slightly comforting to know that they loved you already, but meeting your partner's parents was always a nerve-wracking event. Jongdae never pushed you to meet them, much less talk to then until you were ready. 

But deep down, you knew that this was something you would have to do eventually. 

You met them for the first time (again) at his parents on a sunny weekend in March, during a family get-together at their house. Jongdae's older brother was there too with his wife, their little daughter back home spending some time with her maternal grandmother.

It was easy to see where Jongdae's assorted charms came from as you observed his parents. His father was reliable and always ready to lend a hand, even when you didn't say anything. His mother was bubbly and optimistic, constantly refreshing others with a kind word and a warm smile. 

And Jongdae, sweet as ever, was by your side throughout it all. A hand on your waist as you talked to his mom, a hearty laugh when you innocently pointed out that his brother had a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth. 

His childhood home was gone, but his parents still kept a room reserved for him and his brother in their new apartment. Boxes of artifacts from his youth were stacked against the wall, full of yearbooks, letters and stuffed plushies spilling out when you opened them up. 

"You have a teddy bear collection?" you asked, picking up one with a plush skateboard attached to its feet. "This might be the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Stop," Jongdae whined, falling to the floor and covering his face with his hands as you laughed. "I feel bad about throwing them out."

"I'm serious, Dae. This is adorable." You sat the bear up against the pillows on his bed, lining up bear after bear until you had an entire row there. Some were in better condition than others, but all had been well-loved. 

Jongdae showed you old photos of the band he was in during high-school, an adolescent version of him sporting different hairstyles that his friend did for him. "I let him practice on me, but I drew the line at mohawks. My mom would've killed me, and Jongdeok would've teased me about it forever. Not that he doesn't tease me enough already," he added with a good-natured roll of his eyes.

"How about now?" you asked, wiggling your eyebrows. "I think you'd look good in one."

Jongdae choked on his laughter, tears welling in the corners of his eyes as you frantically got him up to a sitting position. "I'm fine," he assured you, coughing in between chuckles. "You just surprised me." 

"You mean you don't want a hairstyle that makes you look like a rooster?" you quipped, joining in as Jongdae erupted into giggles once more.

"Okay, that's it, I'm never going with you to the hair salon." His chest continued to rumble with laughter as he leaned against you, his cheek pressed against your head. "I'm glad you're having a good time here."

"Your family's so sweet, how can I not?" 

Jongdae smiled to himself, head ducking down to kiss you. "I'm happy that you're happy, darling." 

Jongdae's family members were so similar to himself, how could you not love them? They welcomed you into the family a second time, your personality suiting their easygoing ways. 

And something you really appreciated — not once did any of them comment on your ring-less finger. 

It had been a journey wracked with guilt and confusion, but you had reached the point where looking at your wedding ring didn't send you into a whirlpool of nervousness. 

A few weeks and sessions unpacking your guilt with Dr. Suh later, you even took to wearing your wedding ring again — although not where you were traditionally expected to. The elegant piece of jewelry hung from a thin silver chain around your neck, an old Christmas present from your father. 

Your ring was the bridge between your present and past — but more importantly, your future. Wearing your ring grounded you, reminded you about how lucky you were to be here now, even if you couldn't remember the past six years. It was comforting to feel the slight pull on your necklace when you leaned forward, the ring swinging forward and catching the light. 

What warmed your heart even more was Jongdae's reaction to seeing it again. 

You had been antsy all day, the ring hidden under your shirt. For all Jongdae knew, you were just wearing a necklace you had rediscovered. But when you leaned down to pick up a pair of shoes, the ring slipped out from its hiding place. Jongdae, who tended to be completely oblivious to his surroundings, took a bit to realize what he was seeing. Once he did, however, his mouth fell open, eyes trained solely on the ring at your neck. No matter how many times you replayed it in your mind, you couldn't figure out who had moved first. All you knew was that both of you were in each other's arms, Jongdae's lips on yours as he kissed you like his life depended on it. 

When he managed to finally pull away, he looked you in the eye, asking why you chose to wear it.

"It just feels right," you murmured, fingers tracing over his collarbones. You couldn't meet his gaze, feeling the the intensity of his eyes on yours. You needed to be clear-headed if you wanted to get your thoughts out correctly. "I used to be scared of it. I knew that I loved you, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for a big commitment like this. It's my first time being married," you finished with a soft laugh. 

Jongdae lifted your chin up gently, waiting until you were looking at him. "You didn't do this just for me, right?" He swallowed back the nervousness creeping up his throat.

You shook your head. "Not just for you or me, but for us, darling." 

Jongdae froze for a second before his hands came up to your cheeks, caressing them softly. “Say it again, please.” His voice was shaky, despite the steadiness of his hands. "I've missed hearing that." 

"Darling Jongdae," you whispered back, your own hands trembling as they reached up to cover Jongdae's where they rested on your face. "I love you. I don't think I ever really stopped." 

Jongdae let out an unexpected sob, closing his eyes and ducking his head. His hands dropped from your face, taking yours down with him. 

"Dae, don't cry," you pleaded, reaching out to be the one to cradle his face now. "Dae," you said tenderly, brushing his bangs back as he tried to hide his tears.

He turned his head, wiping his face on his sleeve before turning back to you. His eyes were red-rimmed, tears clumping his eyelashes together. "I'm happy," he choked out, taking in a shuddering, raspy breath. "You make me happy, Y/N, no matter what you do. But this... nothing even compares to this.” 

"But I'm not even wearing the ring the right way," you murmured, surprised by his strong reaction. 

Jongdae shook his head, brows drawn low over his face, a serious glint to his eye. "It doesn't matter where you wear it. You could wear it on your pinky toe, for all that I care. But I'm... I'm honored that you would choose to wear it again. To choose me again." 

"It's only ever been you, Jongdae. I'd fall for you again, a million times over if it meant I got to be with you." You kissed him, feeling the subtle tickle of his eyelashes against your skin when he closed his eyes. 

"I love you," he breathed, unwilling to move even an inch away when he was already drunk off of you. 

"I love you too, Dae." 

And in your soul, you felt that truer words had never been spoken. 

Winter ended and with it came sunnier spring days, each with their fair share of rainy ones. You and Jongdae had spent these early months of the year cuddled up in late winter's warmth, discovering new things about each other as the first seeds began to sprout. It was normal now for Jongdae to pick you up from work, for both of you to come home and talk about your days over dinner and then spend the rest of the night lazing around. 

Your old worries tended to creep up on you from time to time, but your circle of supporters were always ready to listen and comfort. You confided in Dr. Suh, sharing your deepest, darkest fears about not being able to live up to the person you had been before the accident. It took a lot of talking out your thoughts and thinking through the realities of them, sorting through what was fact and fiction, and the importance of living for now. 

You had gotten so used to having Dr. Suh as another shoulder to lean on that it knocked your world off balance when you got down to your last sessions. 

"I don't think there's anything left for me to help you with," she explained. "You've done an amazing job learning to talk through your problems, and not just to me. I've seen how much you and Jongdae have improved, and I think it's time that I take a step back." 

"This is so weird, it feels like it was only a couple of weeks ago that I came in here for the first time," you mused.

"Time really has flown by, hasn’t it?” Dr. Suh took off her glasses, resting them on top of her leg. "You've made so much progress, and I have faith in your abilities to continue your good work. I'll miss my sessions with you and Jongdae, but I sincerely believe that neither of you need me anymore. I'm proud of you both." 

A sudden wave of emotion came over you, gratitude towards Dr. Suh for all of her help over the past months, to uncertainty about the days ahead without these confidential talks in her office. "Are you sure?" you asked meekly. "What do I do if I need help again?" 

"Then I'll always be here. But I think you and Jongdae have done more for each other than I have." Her lips curled upwards, bringing an uncommon youthfulness to her usually calm demeanor. 

"I'm sure together, the two of you will be just fine."

Six months later... 

Your played with the ring hanging from your neck, one foot tapping anxiously against the floor. Tonight was the night. It wasn't your first holiday with Jongdae, and some people wouldn't consider a birthday a "real" holiday anyways, but in your eyes, it was absolutely imperative that everything go smoothly tonight. 

"Y/N, relax, he'll be here soon," Key said, wiping off a few beads of sweat from his forehead. "If you stay in the kitchen any longer, you'll end up sweating in that outfit." 

He had a point. "Are you sure you don't need any help?" you asked, leaning across the counter. Key had done his best to keep you out of the kitchen, sparing one glance at your dress and stating that he wouldn't be the one to get oil or food residue on your outfit. After you begged and pleaded, he begrudgingly agreed to let you sit and watch from across the counter.

"I'm sure," Key emphasized, waving you away with one hand. "Now hurry and get out there before your dress starts to smell like beef or something."

With a snort, you hopped off the stool, pushing open the kitchen door and leaving the chefs to their own devices.

The restaurant was nearly empty, the last few customers finishing up their meals and settling their checks. You had offered to work today, but Irene wouldn't hear of it, especially after hearing of your plans to celebrate Jongdae's birthday. She even insisted that you take your time off to go and treat yourself to some time at a salon. That didn't stop you from showing up an hour before you told Jongdae to meet you, running through your plans and finalizing them. 

For your sake, the restaurant was closing early tonight so that you and Jongdae would have the whole place to yourselves. Well, yourselves, and the rest of the staff who you knew would be eavesdropping at every moment. 

"Y/N!" Junmyeon called out, coming over with two copies of your menu. "We finally got the printer to work, what do you think?" 

In his hands were two menus, the thick leaves of paper already laminated and placed inside the leather bindings. You read down the list, nodding contentedly at what you saw there. "Perfect! Thanks so much, Myeon. I know how much trouble the printer was giving you." 

"If it's for you and Jongdae, it's not a problem. You can pay me in leftover food, though." He laughed as he walked away, the apples of his cheeks tinged pink with mirth. 

One table by the window had been especially reserved for both of you, the table settings already freshly cleaned after the previous diners. You leaned over, rearranging the petite flowers in the vase that sat there, the golden sunshine of their petals instantly lifting your mood. The simple arrangement held a mix of dandelions and black-eyed Susans, with some sprigs of baby's breath to add some subtle contrast. As much as you and Jongdae both loved lavender, you noticed how he was always drawn to any sort of buttery, yellow flower. His face had brightened up when you brought some home the other day, his nose disappearing into the depth of petals as he smelled the fragrant scent. He made you laugh when he picked one out, sticking it behind his ear as you both did the rest of your Saturday chores. 

"Y/N, it's almost time!" Irene came up from behind, smoothing down your hair and giving you a final look-over. She nodded to herself when she was satisfied, gently pushing you into a chair.

"Irene, I'm probably gonna stand up again once he comes in," you said, even as your boss meticulously straightened out every little bit and piece on the table. 

"That might be true, but when Jongdae walks up to the entrance, the first thing he's going to see is you sitting here by the window. With the light coming at you from this angle and your vase of flowers here, you look like you belong in a painting. Jongdae will be at a complete loss for words."

Your lips quirked up at the unexpected compliments, thanking your friend for her help tonight.

"I'm happy to do this for you, Y/N. We all are." She glanced up, spotting something through the window. "I'd say good luck, but I know that you won't need it."

You followed her line of sight, sitting up in your seat and craning your neck until you saw Jongdae, frozen on the path leading up to the restaurant. He broke out of his stupor when he met your eye, raising a hand to wave shyly. You didn't even notice Irene as she slipped away discreetly, your heart melting at the sight of Jongdae. Your boss may have tried to frame you like a portrait in a museum, picturesque and pleasing to the eye, but no work of art could surpass Jongdae's beauty in your eyes. 

Jongdae greeted Johnny at the entrance, following through the charade as the taller man led him to your table — the only occupied table in the entire restaurant. He took his seat, fingers tapping nervously against his legs as he gave you a crooked smile. "Hi, darling. I didn't think we'd be the only ones here tonight." 

"Being friends with the owner has its perks," you shrugged nonchalantly. "Happy birthday, Dae." You had already wished him a happy birthday multiple times already, but you were overflowing with festive cheer. It was your first time celebrating his birthday, and you intended to make this a night he wouldn't forget. 

"Thank you," Jongdae replied sweetly, his hand reaching over the table to meet yours. 

Johnny came back with drinks and your specially crafted menus. There was only one option listed for each course, but you had made sure to pick dishes that Jongdae absolutely loved. His face lit up as he read down the list, unconsciously swallowing as if he could already taste the food. "Babe, this all sounds amazing. How am I gonna eat all of this?"

"I'm sure we'll find a way. And if we don't, at least we've got a full staff to help us out." You nodded towards the kitchen, Jongdae following suit only to see Key staring through the window. The head chef was unfazed at being caught, waving quickly before he disappeared from view and sending you and Jongdae into a fit of giggles. 

The first course was the appetizer: a sampler of short ribs cooked in several ways. The bites were small, but enough to hold you over until the next course. Jongdae, ever the carnivore, dug in with gusto. "This isn't a dish on the menu, is it? Did you come up with this?" he asked in awe.

"I planned it with Key and Soo. They both helped me with the flavor combinations." 

Jongdae sighed happily. "You're a genius. I could kiss you right now, you know?"

"I'd be fine with that," you smiled, leaning closer.

The door to the kitchen swung open, Ten coming to bring you the main course. You and Jongdae both jumped back in your seats, laughing quietly at your shared embarrassment.

If Jongdae was ecstatic at the sight of the appetizer, he was completely overjoyed when he saw what the main course was. "It's your kimchi stew," he gaped in wonder. 

You had practiced the beloved recipe, the one from your cookbook that reduced you to tears months ago. It had taken a couple of test trials in the kitchen before you felt that it was absolutely perfect, nothing less than what you wanted to present to Jongdae. Tonight, Kyungsoo was in charge of it, but you trusted him with your recipe wholeheartedly. 

Jongdae closed his eyes as soon as he took the first bite, the familiar spiciness and warmth rushing over him. "God, this is so good," he gushed, opening his eyes to meet your proud smile. 

"I'm glad you like it. Kyungsoo did a great job with it tonight." 

Jongdae nodded, scooping up some rice from the stone bowl beside his stew. "I'll have to give my compliments to the chef," he joked with a twinkle in his eye.  

When both of you were done and felt like you couldn't eat any more, Ten came back to clear your dishes. You knew what was going to happen next, and the dormant butterflies in your stomach began to fly into a frenzy. Across from you, Jongdae sat oblivious to your inner turmoil.

"I don't know if I can eat any more. But then again, Mom always said I had a separate stomach for dessert." He laughed, hands resting over his full belly as you joined in. 

"Well, I guess we'll see if that's true." 

Jongdae raised an eyebrow, about to ask something when some of the lights went out, only your little corner by the window still illuminated by light. A chorus of singing could be heard from the kitchen, only to come flooding out once the doors opened. 

Junmyeon carried the cake out, concentrating hard on singing and walking at the same time. Irene was beside him, hands outstretched as if she expected the cake to fall at any moment. Kyungsoo was right behind, the cake knife wrapped in a cloth napkin and held carefully in his hands as his cheeks glowed with excitement. The rest of the staff followed along, singing turning to shouts and cheers as the fun of it all started to sink in. Even Minseok and Baekhyun were there, Minseok recording on his phone and Baekhyun with a party hat on his head.

"Happy birthday!" Baekhyun yelled once the singing was over and the applause died down. He took off his hat to put it on Jongdae's head instead. Of course, always ready to go along with the fun, Jongdae let his best friend put the silly hat on him. It was much too small, and you were sure that he would have a mark on his chin from the rubber band, but none of it bothered him at all. 

Junmyeon managed to get the cake onto the table without any incidents, much to everyone's relief. He hid behind Mingyu to wipe away the sweat at his temples while Jongdae grinned appreciatively at the cake.

"Matcha cheesecake?" he asked, eyes flashing up to meet yours. 

"The one and only. I hope you like it, Dae." 

"I love it, all of this. Thank you so much, darling." He brought your hand up, pressing a feather-light kiss to the knuckles there. 

"Don't forget to make a wish," Minseok spoke up, still recording every moment. 

Jongdae took in a deep breath as he closed his eyes. It was almost like watching him pray, the way he whispered to himself so softly, no one else could hear. He opened his eyes and blew out the candles, the room erupting into cheers and applause once more. 

Soon, the cake was cut and pieces passed around. Jongdae had tried to cut it at first, but the slices were in danger of coming out horribly uneven, so Kyungsoo stepped in. Everyone was scattered throughout the restaurant, lounging around and talking over their cake. They were mindful of your privacy, varied conversations never interrupting the intimacy shared at your table. 

"Y/N, thank you so much for tonight," Jongdae murmured, now without his birthday hat. "This is the best birthday I've ever had."

"Really?" you asked, fork stopping halfway to your mouth as your froze, taken off-guard.

"Really," he repeated. "I can tell how much work you put into this, you and everyone here. I still can't believe how lucky I am to have someone do this for me." 

"I do it because I love you, Dae." You set your fork down, the metal clattering against the ceramic plate. "I actually have one last surprise," you stammered out. The butterflies in your stomach had now reached peak frenzy, almost rendering you frozen. 

Jongdae watched, half intrigued and the other half worried by the trembling of your fingers. You reached up to undo the clasp of your necklace, slipping your ring off of the chain and cradling it in your other hand. 

"At the beginning of this year, I wasn't sure what would happen to me. I was terrified and lost, and it took everything I had to even try to piece my life back together." You paused, licking your dry lips and readying yourself for the next words. Jongdae's eyes were wide, emotion swirling in that expressive face of his. The love and awe that you saw there spurred you on, words coming more readily. 

"I was scared of falling back in love with you because I knew even less about you than I knew about myself. And the more I found out about you, the deeper I fell. It was the biggest leap of faith I'd ever taken, trusting myself to you and hoping that we would both come out unscathed. And now, every single day, I'm so thankful to have you in my life. I love you more than I can say in words, more than I will ever remember. Kim Jongdae, will you marry me a second time?" 

Jongdae jumped up, surprising you and everyone else in the room who had been listening in. He came around the table, stooping down to cup your cheeks gently before he kissed you. 

Someone started hooting and cheering, but it was merely background noise to you. How could you focus on anything else when Jongdae was kissing you like you were the most precious thing he had ever set eyes on? 

"Is that a yes?" you mumbled against his lips, raising an eyebrow when Jongdae chuckled softly. 

"Yes, with all of my heart." Jongdae crouched down beside you, on his knees as he took the ring from your hand. Both of you watched as he slid it carefully onto the finger that had been bare for so long. Once it was nestled safely against your skin, you pulled him back in for another kiss, giggling when your friends began to crowd the two of you again. 

"Yo, but can people really get married twice?" Mark asked to no one in particular, looking from face to face for his answer.

"I was thinking more of us renewing our vows, but asking him to marry me just seemed more romantic," you explained with a laugh. 

"And it worked," Jongdae added, his hand stroking the side of your face. "I'd marry you a thousand times over, if you asked me to." 

"Don't say that, she'll really make you do it," Minseok interrupted.

You stuck your tongue out at your older brother, ignoring the chuckles of amusement at your childish reaction. Jongdae reached down to pick up your left hand, his thumb running reverently over the ring there. 

"Thank you," he whispered to you, his forehead resting against yours. "Thank you for choosing me again, even after everything." 

"Darling, I always will. Even after every hardship, every unexpected thing that comes out way, we’ve managed to still make it out together. With you, I'm never lost." 

Jongdae's gaze softened, his brown eyes reflecting your own hopes and dreams back for you to see. You felt his thumb run over your ring again, the touch comforting and immediately putting you at ease. "You'll never be lost again," he said sincerely. 

"I promise." 

Series masterlist: ( 1 )  ( 2 )  ( 3 )  ( Final )

A/N: and that’s a wrap! thank you to everyone who’s been reading not only this series, but any of my jongdae fics since I started posting them here! 💕💕💕

for the flowers in the vase: baby's breath means long lasting love, dandelions can mean bravery, personal growth, healing, perseverance (there were lots of mixed meanings) and black-eyed susans mean encouragement.

if you guys remember the small paragraph I shared of this a long, long time ago before I really started working on the series, this will seem pretty different from that. I went through a lot of changes after hearing about jongdae's good news because I didn't want to write a jongdae scenario so close to reality. i’m still happy to end this series on a good note, and I can genuinely say that i’ve enjoyed every moment not only of writing this, but for writing everything i’ve done for jongdae. I won’t be writing any reader x jongdae fics anymore, but there’s always a good chance he’ll show up as a side character in future works! 

He finds it almost comical. The reactions he gets from his victims of the previous evening whenever they see him in the hallway. Many are embarrassed, for how could they be having dirty thoughts and dreams about their kind, unsuspecting neighbour? That is, if he lets them remember.

He usually only lets a few remember their dreams from the previous night, mainly for his own entertainment purposes. Seeing them shy away from him, or avoid his gaze when he sends them a smile in the hallway simply feeds his amusement.

Never has he returned to a victim more than once, for he hasn’t felt the need to. Many of his victims are delusional anyways, thinking that this one night of passion within their subconscious means something more. 

Some even go so far as to confess their love or adoration during these times, only serving to annoy him. All he wants to do is feed, not hear about the feelings of his food. Most of the time, he can block it out, but more often than not, it’s too hard to ignore. It’s starting to really get on his nerves.

As a demon, Jongdae has never known, or felt, love. He doesn’t even know if it’s possible for him to love, but he hasn’t ever wanted to know, or tried, for that matter. He always found it trivial, in a sense. Something humans use as a distraction from their everyday lives. 

The news of a new tenant moving in next door peaks his interest. There hasn’t been a new resident in his building for at least six months, and his options are starting to run dry. He’s ready for a fresh face, a fresh start. A fresh meal.

He has to admit, living out an ordinary life in amongst his victims is a fairly wise choice, not to mention easy. Every week or so, he can choose a new victim who is willing to let him into their mind. All he has to do is just put a passing thought through their mind about him, and see if he in turn peaks their interest. If that’s the case, he’s in for a good meal that night, as long as the subject is willing.

The day you move in next door, he does his best to make a good first impression on you. The smile you give him when he offers to help you bring in some of the boxes for you causes a subtle smirk to pull at his lips. This is a good start, and hopefully, by the end of the week he’ll be able to have you all to himself.

By the time he’s finished helping you bring in all your boxes, he watches you plop yourself into one of your chairs in the corner of your living room. He almost misses the way you tilt your head back and roll your neck from all the boxes scattered around blocking his view, but he catches it, and something within him jolts. He finds it odd.

Opening your eyes once more, you notice him already staring at you, seemingly zoned out.

“Oh, sorry, normally I would ask if you wanted to stay for dinner, but I literally have no food,” you say, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips as you grip the arms of the chair in your hands nervously.

“It’s alright,” he smiles back at you. “I get it. If you want I can order a pizza?”

“That’s really nice of you,” you pull yourself up and back onto your feet, “but no thanks. I get that I just moved in and everything, and you seem like a nice guy, but I don’t want you getting the wrong impression.”

Shit. Can you tell what he is? There’s been a few witches and spiritual people he’s come across that could tell what he was almost immediately, so maybe you’re one of them. His heart nearly skips a beat in his chest in worry. Was he too forward with his intent?

“I-“ He feels like a fish out of water, for he doesn’t know what to say.

“Last time I just moved in to a new place, I had three different neighbours all hit on me within the first week, one of them even helped me move in like you did,” you say. “And now you’re giving me the wide-eyed look… fuck, you’re probably just a nice guy- look, I’m sorry, I’m probably just talking myself into a hole here. Why don’t we just start over?”

“Okay,” he trails off slightly, watching as you breathe a small sigh of relief. He thinks it’s cute how flustered you get.

“Anyways, I’m (Y/n), your new neighbour. Thank you for helping me bring some stuff in,” you smile at him once more, and he blinks once before smiling back at you.

“It’s no problem,” he replies. “If you ever need anything, I’m right next door, so don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thanks,” you say, leading him to the door before bidding him a good evening, before proceeding to close the door in his face.

He lets out a small sigh in disappointment. He was hoping to get to know you a bit better, but it looks like you have a higher guard than he originally thought you did. He could tell his staring made you a bit uncomfortable once he thought about it, hence your reaction. Looks like you’ll be a bit of a tougher prey to catch, which will make his reward all the more sweeter when he does get to indulge himself in you.

For the next week, you continue to plague his thoughts, filling much of his mind with fantasies about you and what it’ll be like once he’s finally able to have you to himself. Though, he finds it strange, considering he’s never thought this intensely about his next victim. So much so, that the next time he invades someone’s subconscious, he imagines that it’s you he’s with, and not Bethany from twelve-c.

Every time he sees you in the hallway, he makes an attempt to talk to you, wanting to bury himself into your subconscious just as you’ve infected his. He asks questions, mainly to get to know you better, but also to gouge a sense of what you like and don’t like. So far, you’re an anomaly of which he cannot figure out.

Looks like his regular approach isn’t going to work in his favour.

  It takes him another full week with him talking to you in passing until you genuinely invite him over for dinner one evening. You tell him not to think too much into it, but he can’t help it. Maybe you’re finally opening up to him.

He can’t wait for it to just be the two of you. Maybe this opportunity will give him a chance to figure out these weird feelings he’s been having about you recently. However, stepping into your apartment reveals two of your friends already sitting in your living room, sipping on drinks of their own.

They introduce themselves as Hyuna and Kaylee, your two closest friends. He can feel Kaylee not so subtly check him out, and usually it wouldn’t bother him since it’s what he’s used to, given his species, but since it’s in your home, your living room, in your presence, it makes him uncomfortable.

Currently, he’s in the middle of a conversation with Hyuna when Kaylee excuses herself to ‘help’ you in the kitchen. He does his best to focus on the conversation at hand, but he can’t help but overhear what Kaylee says to you in the kitchen.

“Your neighbour is kinda cute,” he nearly rolls his eyes at her words.

He hears you chuckle, “woah, slow down there tiger, you just met him.”

“Do you mean to tell me you have your sights set on him?” She quirks a brow, her words peaking his interest further, sitting with bated breath to hear your response.

“Oh no,” you laugh, flicking off the stovetop. “He’s all yours. Just don’t make it awkward like the last time.”

He has to keep his expression from falling as he continues his conversation with Hyuna. You’re not interested in him? At all? Has he done something to turn you away from him? Do you not find him attractive? Has he no effect on you, at all?

Out of the corner of his eyes, he notices Kaylee coming out of the kitchen with a smug grin on her face, and he nearly scowls. If she thinks she’s getting anywhere with him, she’s wrong. You are all that he wants, and the longer he goes without you, the more he craves you.

You end up sitting across from him at the dinner table, and he does his best to brush off all of Kaylee’s advances. He nearly jolts when he feels her brush her foot against his leg, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his lips from curling in disgust.

In the back of his mind, he wonders why he’s not taking this opportunity to use Kaylee to make you jealous. Normally, he’d have no trouble doing so, but something tells him that that wouldn’t work in his favour, and that you’re not the jealous type. He lets out a small breath, one that isn’t noticeable to you or your friends. Hopefully, he can just get through this night, and focus solely on you.

Despite Kaylee’s failed attempts at flirting serving as a distraction, Jongdae still can’t help but feel like the night is over all too soon. He wishes he could just spend some more time with you, alone, and without any distractions.

Figuring he shouldn’t overstay his welcome, he leaves before either of your friends, telling you that he has an appointment in the early hours of the morning tomorrow. 

Thanking you for the meal, he bids you a goodnight. However, what he doesn’t expect is for you to pull him into your embrace.

He stands there for a good few seconds before his mind registers he should hug you back. He takes this opportunity to breathe in your scent deeply, and his eyes nearly roll into the back of his head from the euphoric feeling that travels down his spine.

All too soon, you pull away, sending him one final smile as his body almost robotically walks him out your front door and into his own apartment.

His head is still reeling from what has just occurred. His vision blurs at the edges as he finds himself falling face first onto his bed in a daze. The tips of his fingers feel as if they’re buzzing with electricity, his whole body on fire from when he held you in his embrace, but most of all, he can’t get your scent out of his mind. Another shiver runs down his spine as he recalls the way you felt in his arms, your scent filling his senses once more. 

He’s never felt anything like this before, nor experienced anything similar. He knows now, that he can’t let you go so easily. He won’t give up until you’re his, and only his. No one else is deserving of you, especially not after what he’s just experienced with you.

Flipping over onto his back, he stares at his ceiling. He needs to find a way into your life, as something more than just your neighbour. He’s decided that his end goal now isn’t just to have you, but to make you his, in every meaning of the way. 

Over the next few weeks, he does his best to get closer to you in any way he can. From what he can gage, it’s working, and he could not be happier. Kaylee has finally taken the hint that he’s not interested in her, and has since stopped flirting with him whenever she sees him. Yet another reason he can’t help but be filled with joy, for he takes this as a step in a positive direction towards having you to himself.

Despite his advances, he still hasn’t made any major progress with you, still not being able to tell if you like him or not. He even attempts to enter your subconscious almost every night, but you still are reluctant to let him in, so he backs off. 

Each night that passes makes him more desperate for you, wanting nothing more than to feel your skin beneath his touch once more. He wants nothing more than to hear you call out his name in ecstasy, into the darkest hours of the night, fulfilling your deepest fantasies that only he can fulfill. 

One thing that he finds himself doing more often than not is sitting against the wall that separates your apartment from his, just to feel your presence more clearly. Sometimes, if he’s lucky, and he concentrates enough, he can listen in on the conversations you have when one of your friends are over.

Tonight is no exception, hearing you talking with Hyuna through your walls after settling his back against his own in order to hear you better. He can feel his heart thumping against his chest as he hears your voice, your laugh, in response to something she’s told you. He hopes to be the cause of your laugh soon, to see you smile for him, and know that your smile will be only for him.

“So, how’s Hyojong?” You ask, causing Jongdae’s brow to quirk slightly in curiosity.

“He’s great! He took me to the night market the other day and it was so sweet,” Hyuna replies, and the way her eyes begin to twinkle makes your heart warm for her, a smile caressing your lips. “What about you? Any new potential romantic partners in your life?”

The wiggling of her eyebrows suggestively causes you to let out a small giggle, “girl, my love life has been as dry as the Sahara lately.”

“What about your neighbour? He seemed interested in you when he was over for dinner that one time,” she says, and you shrug one of your shoulders, and he can’t help but quirk a brow at her words.

“He’s cute,” Jongdae can’t help but smile at your confession, “but I’m not sure.”

He frowns.

“How come?” Hyuna asks, her brow furrowing slightly as she looks at you.

“I don’t know, it’s just this feeling I get,” comes your reply. “Besides, he’s probably not interested in me.”

“Have more confidence in yourself, anyone would be lucky as fuck to have you!” She says, hitting the side of your arm lightly.

“Tell that to my ex,” you roll your eyes playfully, only causing Jongdae’s brow to furrow even more in discontent.

“Well, just because he couldn’t handle your boldness, in more than one way, doesn’t mean he’s right,” she chimes in.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you grin. “Some men just don’t like a strong willed woman in the bedroom that knows what she wants. Also not my fault he didn’t know what a clitoris is.”

At that, you both laugh, making Jongdae smirk. So your last thing didn’t know how to please you in bed? Not a problem at all for him. He’ll do whatever he can to please you, in any way he can. From the sounds of it, you prefer the more submissive type in the bedroom, a fact which sets his whole body tingling. He hasn’t been with someone dominant in a while, and he can feel a shiver of anticipation run down his spine at the thought of you being the one to break that dry-spell.

“Why don’t you give him a chance if he asks you out?” She quirks a brow in your direction once you’ve both calmed down.

“Maybe I should,” you hum, setting his heart racing in his chest, hope budding in his mind of a future with you. “That is, if he asks me out.”

“Just keep your mind open to the idea, and you’ll be surprised at what can happen,” she winks, standing up from your bed and stretching slightly. “Anyways, I should probably get going before it gets too late.”

“Alright,” you nod, standing up as well and walking with her to the front door of your apartment.

After bidding her a goodnight, you decide to get ready for bed, seeing as it is late, and a sudden wave of tiredness has hit you. Your mind keeps replaying your conversation with Hyuna, deciding that you will pursue whatever happens between you and Jongdae, should something arise. You do really like him, and besides, he’s really sweet.

Meanwhile, Jongdae lays on his couch, eyes closed with a large smile on his face. He has a chance with you, and that’s all he could ever wish for. Tonight, he’s going to attempt to enter your subconscious once more, and if he can’t, he vows to himself that he won’t try again until the two of you are actually in a relationship. A fact of which he knows he won’t ever stop until you are bound to him in mind, body, and soul. He’ll have you, even if it’s the last thing he’ll do.

Relaxing himself further into the couch, he does his best to calm himself down, and not get his hopes up too much just in case you block him out for another night. However, he can’t help but to feel giddy, given the new information he’s just learned tonight. Whatever fantasies you have, he’ll fulfill them all.

The next hour that passes as he waits for you to fall asleep feels like an eternity. He wants to make sure that you really are asleep before he attempts anything, but he cannot help but feel giddy, as if every second that passes is time spent that he could be sharing with you.

Finally, he decides it’s time to see if you’ll let him in.

Focussing his energy, he keeps his eyes closed, allowing for his being to gravitate towards your subconscious. Each moment that brings him closer to you sends a jolt of electricity coursing through his veins.

He finds it interesting, entering each person’s subconscious. Sometimes it’s a door, other times it’s a window. Basically, whatever the person’s consciousness deems necessary as an entranceway, that’s what it becomes.

Yours, however, is one of the most beautiful marble archways he’s ever seen, almost as if taunting him with your beauty, even subconsciously. Each time he’s attempted to pass under it, an invisible force has stopped him, meaning your subconscious is closed to him. This time, though, he approaches carefully, almost as if the archway is a wild dear which can be spooked quite easily, and he doesn’t want to risk it running away.

Taking slow, almost hesitant steps, he brings himself closer and closer to your subconscious. Carefully lifting his hand, he tests the waters, seeing if there’s still some sort of invisible barricade up preventing him from passing through. When he feels none, he presses on.

A smile tugs at his lips as he’s able to pass through the archway without struggle, knowing that this will be a night he won’t soon ever forget. He knows that now, things have changed, and he’ll make sure to make you his, no matter the cost.

All is silent for a few moments as he waits for your subconscious to overtake him. He allows for you to take full control, letting you create the scenario that will take place rather than him creating it like usual. His vision fades.

Needless to say he’s quite surprised to find himself bound to your bed once his eyes regain focus, feeling something soft around his wrists which are tied to the posts above his head. Shifting his gaze, a smirk pulls at his lips as he sees the red fabric binding his hands to your headboard.

Hearing the door creak, he looks over to see you walk into the room, wearing nothing but an oversized shirt as far as he can see. He nearly groans at the sight.

“Oh? What this?” You quirk a brow, smirk tugging at your lips. “What a pleasant surprise.”

He watches your form walk over to him, coming to trail a finger down his chest which he’s just noticed is bare. A shiver runs down his spine at your touch, only serving to make your smirk deepen.

“Is this all for me?” Your voice is teasing, making him groan.

“All for you,” he nearly whines, “only you.”

His words hold so much truth within them, but you won’t know. At least, not yet.

He sees you smile in response, your hand halting its movements in order to splay itself across his chest. His skin feels as if it’s on fire wherever you touch him, only serving to make him crave your touch even more, wanting to feel every part of you pressed against him.

“Please, let me touch you,” he begs, eyes conveying the desperation he feels at finally getting to have this moment, only for him to be tied down and unable to feel your skin beneath his own fingertips.

“Patience, baby,” you say, crawling on top of him on the bed. “All in due time.”

With those words, you begin to trail kisses across his chest, trailing your lips up his neck and nipping at the skin of his jawline, eliciting small moans from his throat. Biting down on a particular spot draws a low groan from his lips, him having to close his eyes briefly to avoid you seeing the darkness that swirls deep within his irises.

You take your time, trailing your hands over the expanse of his chest before shifting your body downwards, and allowing your hands to trail up his thighs. He watches you carefully, chest rising and falling with every breath he takes as he feels you hook your fingers in the briefs he’s wearing, pulling them down his legs before tossing them somewhere in the room. He feels his cock twitch as he watches you lick your lips, nails biting into the skin of his thighs.

His breath hitches in his throat as he feels your hand wrap around the base of his cock, throwing his head back as he feels you begin to move your hand along his shaft, watching his every expression carefully. A small fuck escapes his lips once he feels your mouth gently encase the tip of his cock, sucking lightly as your one hand continue to work over the rest.

Ever so slowly, you take him into your mouth, and he can feel his heart pounding against his ribcage. Never, in all his fantasies, could he have ever imagined how good this would feel, and knowing that it’s you just makes it even more intense.

You take your time with him, bobbing your head a few times before pulling off of him and running your tongue up his shaft. He can’t help the moans that slip past his lips at the feeling of your mouth caressing him so gently, for it’s better than anything he could have ever imagined.

His breathing deepens as you continue to build him up like this, pulling away each time before he can reach his climax, of which frustrates him to no end. However, he’s also somewhat grateful for this, for he wants to be able to feel you coming around him as he comes with you for the first time.

By the time you pull away for the third time, he’s a panting mess. His hair sticks to his forehead as his chest heaves with every breath he takes. Though, he wouldn’t have it any other way, for it’s you that’s doing this to him, and not anyone else. He just can’t wait for the day when he can repay the favour.

“Please,” he manages to get out, causing you to look up at him in interest.

“What is it, baby boy?” You quirk a brow, sitting up on your knees as you look over his state of being, smirk pulling at your lips.

“Please let me touch you,” he whines, tugging once more at his restraints in an attempt to reach out to you, though without much luck. “Let me taste you."

“You’re so cute when you beg,” you giggle, and he swears its one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard. “Alright then, baby, since you’ve been so good.”

Crawling up his body, you position yourself just above his head. It’s at this point that he realizes that you’re not wearing anything beneath that shirt of yours, and he nearly growls out his approval. He can see the way your folds glisten with your juices, only serving to make his mouth water in anticipation for what is soon to come.

As soon as you lower yourself to him, his mouth is on you, licking and sucking at your entrance to gather every single drop you have to offer him. He makes sure to focus his attention on your clit, using his tongue to flick at it as you arch your back above him, fingers tangling in his hair as you begin to grind down onto his face.

He swears he’s never seen a sight more beautiful than you above him like this, using him for your own pleasure. He can’t help but let his eyes bleed black as he watches you move above him, your chest rising and falling as whimpers of his name slip past your lips; a symphony to his ears.

He can feel you getting closer and closer to the edge, so he makes sure to give you everything he’s got, wanting to see you fall apart for him. Sucking your clit into his mouth, he then soon begins to thrust his tongue rhythmically into you, allowing you to control the pace as you continue to grind yourself down on his tongue.

Just before he can feel you reach your peak and drink in the beautiful nectar that is your orgasm, you’re pulling away from him. 

He lets out a whine in disapproval, pout on his lips as he watches your panting figure hovering above him. 

He licks his lips, collecting the lingering taste of your essence onto his tongue. You’re one of the sweetest things he’s ever had the pleasure of tasting, and since it’s you, he can never get enough.

“Fuck, you really know how to use that tongue of yours, don’t you?” You says, breathlessly.

He can only grin widely at you in response, heart soaring at your praise as he watches you adjust yourself so you’re now straddling his waist before aligning your entrance with the tip of his cock.

A low moan escapes his throat as he feels you ever so slowly sink yourself down onto him, enveloping his cock within your warm walls. His head tilts back and he finds himself having to close his eyes once again in order to not alert you to their change in colour.

His arms strain against the fabric of the silk, wanting nothing more that to break free and grip your hips as you begin to move above him, circling your hips as you squeeze him, as if he’s made for you. He’s starting to think that he is, or at least, that you were made for each other. Everything about you is perfect to him, and he couldn’t ask for anyone better.

You start to pick up your pace, moving above him and snapping your hips into his. He loves the feeling of your chest pressed against his as you begin to bite and nip at the sides of his neck once more. All he wants to do is kiss you, break free from his restraints, wrap his arms around you, flip you over, and give you everything you deserve, and so much more. For now, he’s content letting you live out your own fantasy. There’s always next time.

He can tell you’re getting closer to the edge with every movement of your hips, for the breathy moans of his name you let out right beside his ear are one of the greatest things he’s ever heard. He can feel your tight walls beginning to rhythmically clench around him, and he knows he’s not too far behind.

After a few more thrusts, he feels you coming around him, your essence flowing into him as you let out a high pitched moan. It’s the final push he needs to throw himself over the edge, thighs clenching as he releases deep inside you, a low groan of your name slipping past his own lips.

The two of you stay like this for a few minutes, him just basking in the aftereffects of your orgasm. This whole experience has exceeded any possible expectations he could have had, his heart hammering away in his chest as he now feels connected to you in a way he’s never felt before.

Unfortunately, all too soon, he’s ripped away from you and thrown back into his own consciousness laying back down on his couch in his living room. 

Opening his eyes, he allows a blissful smile to overtake his features, feeling the early morning sun shining on his skin. He’s never felt this full after a feeding before, in more than one way.

He knows one thing for sure now, though. You complete him.

Getting up from the couch, he decides to get ready for the day. After a quick shower, he throws on a fresh pair of clothes and decides to go for a morning walk since he’s in such a good mood.

On the way out of the door, he happens to catch you in the hallway. The smile never leaves his face as he watches you take notice of him, but quickly avert your gaze, shyly, in the next moment. He can tell you’re feeling slightly embarrassed seeing him now after the dream you has last night with him. He can’t help but find it cute.

“Good morning,” he says, seeing you finally lift your gaze to meet his own.

“Morning,” you smile back, and he swears he can feel those butterflies in his stomach that people always talk about.

“How are you today?” He decides striking up a casual conversation with you on the way to the elevators can’t be a bad thing.

“I’m alright,” you reply. “You?”

“Never better,” his smile widens as he watches you shyly avoid his gaze once more.

The two of you step onto the elevator in silence, and he notices you looking over at him out of the corner of your eyes. His heart can’t help but swell at the thought, pride filling his chest, knowing that you like what you see.

All too soon, the elevator dings on the ground floor, and you’re stepping out into the lobby. He freezes for a moment, somewhat caught in a daze as he catches your scent in the air once more.

Snapping back to his senses, he manages to catch up to you just before you can exit the building.

“Wait!” He calls out, watching as you turn around to face him.

“Yes?” Your brow quirks.

“I was wondering if you maybe wanted to have dinner with me sometime?” He asks, hope shining in his eyes as he stares at you.

“I would love to,” comes your reply, and he feels as if all is finally right in the world.

He sees you smile before turning and exiting the building like you had originally intended. He watches your figure move down the street until you disappear around a corner, eyes flashing black briefly in content. 

You never remember his name when you wake up. In fact, you never even remember what he looks like. All you know is that someone comes to visit you every so often in your dreams. Only in your dreams do you remember the soft touches, the warm hold that surrounds you.

But Jongdae remembers you. As one of the current Spirits of the Moon, he’s been around for at least a couple of centuries. He’s seen people take their first breaths, and their very last ones. He still remembers when you were born, an infant seemingly like every other one that he had seen so far.

It isn’t until you get older that he notices something strange, something different in you. You’ve been raised by your parents well, always being polite and courteous to those around you. However, your generosity stands out from the rest.

Your friends say you are too giving, too patient with others. And you agree, telling them that you’ll make sure to set aside more time for yourself even though you all know that it'll take some time before you do. You’re too kind to turn down anyone in need, whether they come to you for help or you end up searching them out.

Jongdae admires you, admires the way you greet others with a sweet smile. He swears that you can’t be human, you must be made of some sort of ethereal material. Sunlight, or possibly even stardust. He told you that once, a couple of dreams ago. You had laughed, shrugging it off with a bashful smile and he had felt like his nonexistent heart would burst.

But of course, you didn’t remember that once you woke up.

As a Spirit of the Moon, Jongdae is tasked with watching over the humans from up high in the Lunar Temple, making sure to intervene only if imminent danger of the world is close by. Otherwise, he isn’t allowed to have any contact at all.

He lamented about this once to another Spirit, a friend by the name of Yixing. Yixing had been a Spirit for a couple centuries longer than Jongdae, and had also once longed to interact with those on Earth.

“Someday, you’ll come to see that it’s better like this,” he had said with a somber smile.

“How can you possibly be okay with this? Aren’t you curious? Don’t you get tired of only being able to watch, but to never truly be among them?” Jongdae yelled out in frustration.

At this, Yixing’s eyes hardened, eyes glazing over in a calm fury. “Jongdae. I’ve been in your position. Wanted desperately to talk to them, to be like them. But we’re not. We’re not meant to live as humans. It’s better that you hear this now, before you make a mistake.”

“Did you make a mistake? Have you gone down to meet them?”

Yixing’s lack of an answer prompted Jongdae further, bringing the spirit closer until he was face to face with the elder.

“What happened?” he asked, voice hushed as Yixing avoided his gaze.

“Enough, Jongdae. I’m not speaking about this again.” The elder brushed him off, pushing past and walking away. The clicking of the elder’s shoes on the marble floor of the temple echoed in Jongdae’s ears, and he let out a groan of anger.

(yixing had fallen for a human before jongdae was even a spirit, but he didn't just visit her in her dreams. he would go down to earth to be with her, and even married her in secret. he'd only leave to watch over the other humans under his care, but one day while he was gone, his wife was caught in an accident and passed away. he was always suspicious about how sudden it all was, and how no one ever directly confronted him about going down to earth until after she passed.)

Fine. If Yixing wouldn’t tell him why, then he would have to go find out himself.

That was the first night he came to visit you.

You had just fallen asleep, already deep in slumber when Jongdae decided to observe you from inside your dream. That night, your dream had been mundane: you were simply walking down the street on your way to the train station.

Jongdae watched you from afar, a figure resting atop an apartment building as your figure weaved among the crowds, desperate to get to your destination. But like most dreams, nothing seemed to go as expected.

You couldn’t make it out of the crowd; if anything, it seemed that with every passing step, you bumped into more people along the way. Jongdae winced from where he stood, noticing how your face twisted in annoyance at your dilemma.

You couldn’t even remember why you were trying to go to the train station in your dream, you just knew that it was of the utmost importance that you get there on time. This unknown pull brought you deeper and deeper into the crowd, until it seemed as if every available space was taken up by some part of a stranger. You began to feel claustrophobic, your hands up in front of you to try and prevent people from getting too close to you, to try and save some space for yourself.

A sudden push from behind had you falling forwards, and the crowd suddenly parted, revealing the speckled sidewalk as you braced yourself for the impact. Your eyes scrunched closed as you felt your body drop, your hands covering your head while you waited with bated breath for the imminent pain that was sure to come.

But nothing came.

Your eyes shot open, only to see the crowd around you continue to walk past you, although now they seemed to be giving you a wide berth. From your spot on the floor, you quickly examined yourself, awed to find no injuries, not even the slightest twinge of pain. “What the hell,” you whispered to yourself, pushing yourself up when a sudden hand appeared out of the corner of your eye.

“Can I help you up?”

You followed the line of the person’s hand up, your breath catching in your throat once you saw the face that it belonged to. The man looked down at you kindly, as if he had known you for quite a while. Despite knowing that you had no recollection of ever meeting him before, you felt oddly comfortable in his presence. Something about him seemed more tangible when compared to the countless amount of people that you had been walking past for what seemed like ages.

Tentatively, you took his hand, letting him pull you up until you were standing beside him. “Thank you,” you said cautiously, head tipped slightly to the side as you tried to figure out who he was. “Have we met before?”

The stranger’s smile grew wider, his lips curling at the tips charmingly, as if inviting you to stay and find out.

“I’m Jongdae.”

After that, Jongdae came to visit you in your dreams every night. Although you didn’t always remember when you saw him in your dreams, it never took long for you to trust him once again. Jongdae was your nighttime confidante, the only one with whom you shared everything that was on your mind.

“Does everyone have a guardian angel that visits them in their dreams?” you asked him once, your legs swinging over the edge of a cliff as the two of you sat watching over the sunset. Your dream that night had taken you both to the hilla close to your hometown, and you had introduced Jongdae to the thrills of leisurely hiking as you two made your way to the top.

“I’m not a guardian angel, I’m a Spirit of the Moon,” Jongdae corrected you easily, leaning back on his hands from where he sat beside you.

“Have I asked you this before?”

He struggled to hide a grin, chewing down on his bottom lip briefly before he answered. “Only every night.”

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry.” An apologetic flush came over your cheeks, and Jongdae had to fight the urge to pull you close into his arms, to hug you until you felt better. “You know, it would be great if I could just remember you after I woke up. Why can’t I?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Technically, I’m not even supposed to be here in your dreams.”

“You’re not?” You turned to him, panic settling in as you realized what this meant. “But if you’ve been visiting me for so long, don’t you get in trouble for it? Is there some punishment for talking to humans?”

“Not punishment, necessarily. It’s explicitly stated that we’re not supposed to interfere with humans’ lives. Doing anything to set their lives on a different track than what’s meant to be automatically results in having your title as a Spirit removed, and then being sent to the Abyss.”

“The Abyss?”

Jongdae nodded, looking off into the the distance as he continued. “Where disgraced Spirits are sent to live the rest of their lives in shame. There’s no real explanation as to what goes on there, probably to scare the hell out of all of us. But I’ll be okay. All I’m doing is talking to you in your dreams, and you can’t even remember me when you wake up. How can I be interfering in your life if you can’t even remember me?”

“Jongdae." You scooted closer, placing your hand in top of his and waiting until he met your gaze. “I’m sorry that I don’t remember you, I wish I would - "

“Wait, you don’t need to apologize. This isn’t your fault,” he shot back, straightening up and pulling his hand out from under yours only to let it rest on your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have said any of that, I got carried away in my own thoughts and...” He sighed, a sudden weariness settling onto his face as wrinkles between his eyebrows, a darkness in his eyes as he watched you with a look that you couldn’t decipher.

“It’s out of our control, isn’t it?” you stated dryly, more of a fact than a question. “We can’t help what happens to us.”

“No, we can’t,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop visiting you. I mean, only if you want me to,” he quickly backtracked.

“I do! I like having you here with me. I may not be able to remember you, but I think I remember what it feels like to be around you.”

Jongdae cocked an eyebrow at this, a puzzled frown forming on his lips and you almost giggled at the mere image of it. “What do you mean?”

“I thought I was just imagining things, but after talking to you tonight, I think my mind already knows that I’m missing you when I’m awake. I’ll be at work, or at home and sometimes I get the urge to want to talk to someone, but I can never remember who. I even looked through my contacts on my phone one time, trying to see if maybe, it would help me remember the name of the person I was looking for.”

(I didn't finish this part, but we can assume Jongdae's over the moon to hear that y/n still sort of remembers him when she's awake)

Your boyfriend, this Jongin, had no serious flaws that Jongdae could even begin to complain about. From what he’s seen, Jongin was a kind, loving, vivacious person, an adventurer who encouraged you to take the leap with him as well.

Jongdae saw how your front door opened, how you and Jongin tumbled in together, lips locked and bodies pressed tightly together as you struggled to get your shoes off. Without even knowing, Jongdae’s hands curled up into fists, resting by his sides as he pleaded with himself to turn away, to rid himself of this self-inflicted torture.

It’s only when he saw you pull Jongin’s shirt up and over his head that he finally turned away.

Jongdae was surprised by how opposed he was to your boyfriend, the sting of his jealousy. It made him feel startlingly human, but then again, everything about you made him feel that way.

But Jongdae had the ability, the power to change all of this if he wanted to. The only things holding him back was his alleigance to the other Spirits, and his love for you. Jongdae knew that you would never be able to be together, that your interactions would never go beyond the realm of dreams.

So, Jongdae pushed down this foreign, human feeling in him and convinced himself to move on. He only wished for your happiness.

Even if it isn’t with him.

Jongdae didn’t visit you that night, and when you fell asleep deeply enough to begin dreaming, you were taken aback by the sudden loss you felt. You awoke in the darkness of early morning, sitting on the floor with your lover still asleep as you reminded yourself to take deep breaths. You tried to figure out why you felt so lost, so abandoned.

Why you felt cold, empty, heartless.

(there was never gonna be anything explicit, so this part picks up in the morning as jongin and y/n wake up)

The blanket pooled around your waist as you sat, staring out the window and trying to think of what you had forgotten. Jongin pulled himself up onto to latch onto you from behind.

Jongin leaned his head on your back, arms snaking around you to hold him close to him. His legs moved against the blankets, the sound of fabrics rustling being the only one in the room.

“What are you thinking about?” he mumbled into your skin.

“I had a dream last night, but I don’t remember what it was about. I feel like I never do,” you muse aloud.

You can feel Jongin’s smile against your skin before he places a kiss there, drawing shivers down your spine. “At least you remember that you dreamed at all.

“You don’t remember your dreams?”

“The only thing I’m aware of is falling asleep, and then waking up in the morning. I never have any memory of what happened during the time in between. Is it frustrating? Not being able to remember your dream?”

You shake your head, fingers moving to rest over Jongin’s, playing with the skin of his hands. “Not really. It's more of feeling like there's something important that I planned on doing, but I can't remember what it is. The only thing that I ever seem to remember is that in my dreams, there’s a man. It always feels like it’s the same one.”

“Ah, so in your dreams you leave me for this mystery man?” Jongin giggled as you reached behind yourself to tickle his belly. His body flexed backwards in an attempt to escape, but he still held on despite your attack, unwilling to let go.

“Who knows, maybe you’re the guy in my dreams all the time?”

“I hope so.” Jongin pressed his lips to your neck, right behind your ear in the spot that he knew drove you crazy. When you sighed in delight, he tightened his hold on you. Without any warning, he fell back onto the bed, bringing you along with him as you fell atop his chest.

“Jongin, what are you doing?” you asked between giggles, trying to twist around in his arms so that you could see him.

“Can we sleep a little longer?” he whined, his lips ghosting down your neck as you shivered.

(I was probably gonna indulge them and just let them sleep in or insert some domestic scenes lol)

eventually, others at the lunar temple catch on that jongdae's been doing stuff that he shouldn't be doing, and threaten to send him to the abyss where he'll be stuck for the rest of eternity. I never got around to figuring out what the hell disgraced spirits do in the abyss LOL so it’s all open to whatever you wanna imagine. 

yixing tells jongdae about what happened to him in the past, and warns him that he doesn’t want the same thing to happen again. the most they can hope for is for the ones they loved to be happy and healthy. jongdae goes to visit y/n one last time and tells her that he loves her. y/n doesn’t really understand why this visit is so different from the rest, but is still overcome with more emotion than usual. y/n wakes up crying in bed and can’t even explain why as jongin comforts her.

years pass, jongin and y/n get married, adopt a few dogs LOL, have some kids, live out their years together all while jongdae watches from afar. oddly enough, you become the luckiest human jongdae’s ever watched over in the history of all the humans he’s protected. 

at the end, y/n’s ill and everyone knows that it’ll be her time to move on soon. jongdae watches as her family visits her in the hospital, surrounded by people like jongin, kids, and grandkids. most of them leave to give her time to sleep, but promise to visit again in a few days. jongin stays with her a little longer before he tells her he’ll be back, one of their kids is driving him home to get a change of clothes. after he leaves, jongdae appears in the room. y/n can’t remember exactly who he is, but to her surprise, tears up. jongdae explains who he is, but doesn’t tell y/n everything about how they loved each other, how much he still loves her. 

CBX Investigations was never crowded, seeing as there were only three investigators and one secretary. But now that Minseok and his newly wedded wife were off on their honeymoon, the office was the emptiest it had ever been. 

Jongdae leaned back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other as he listened to his business partner continue his lovesick monologues about the girl he was courting. 

"I almost died when I heard that her father would be there for supper that night," Baekhyun exclaimed, eyes wide as if he was reliving the events all over again. "If it wasn't for our work with the police department, I'm sure he would have knocked me out onto the street right then and there." 

Jongdae hummed with disinterest, spinning a pen around with his fingertips as he stared out the window. 

"Hey," Baekhyun called out, leaning across their joined desks and knocking against the panels of polished oak. "Anybody home?" 

"Hm? Sorry, what did you say?" Jongdae dropped his pen onto the desk, sitting up straight and letting out a heavy sigh. 

"You've got your head in the clouds all the time. What's bothering you, old fellow?"

"You're older than me!" Jongdae exclaimed indignantly, scowl deepening when Baekhyun cackled in delight.

The older man quickly grew serious again when he saw the wistful look return to Jongdae's face. "Really, Jongdae. What's wrong?"

Jongdae shrugged, eyes focused on the tree growing outside their office. The leaves were a mossy green, sunlight dappling spots here and there as the afternoon breeze tickled at the tree branches. "I'm just lonely, I suppose. You and Minseok have always been my dearest friends, and seeing both of you off on these new journeys makes me wish that I had something like that." 

Baekhyun sat silent in thought, searching for the right way to console his friend. Jongdae was the most reserved of the three of them, keeping his sorrows to himself and choosing to show only his brightest sides. “You know, there's someone that Chanyeol knows, a friend of his sweetheart. I'm sure he'd be able to put in a good word for you — ”

"Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it, but I think I'll pass." Jongdae stood, picking up his hat and heading for the door. "I'm going out for a walk." 

Baekhyun would have offered to come along, but he knew that his friend needed some space. "Alright. Don't stay out too long." 

Jongdae nodded, slipping his hat onto his head and opening the door to the vestibule. Right as he got the door open, he bumped into another person. 

You were just on your way in, reaching out for the handle when the door swung open and you collided with a man's chest. 

"I'm so sorry," Jongdae apologized immediately. "Are you hurt?" Your hat brim covered your eyes, soft curls slipping out from your low bun and framing your face. 

Stepping back with a soft laugh, you shook your head. "I'm fine. I'm just glad that I didn't run into this glass door instead." Once you looked up, Jongdae was surprised to find that he recognized your face.

"Miss Y/N," he greeted, taking off his hat out of respect. "How do you do?"

"I'm doing well, thank you, Mr. Kim. Are you on your way out?" 

"I am. It's a beautiful day outside, and I'm itching to head outdoors. But did you need something, Miss Y/N?" Jongdae couldn't help but indulge in his curiosity. It wasn't often that he saw you outside of the library where you worked, always looking so peaceful and at home among your stacks of books. 

"It's a small favor of mine," you began. "If this isn't a good time, perhaps I could come back some other day."

"That won't be necessary," Jongdae assured you. "If you like, we can discuss this outside." 

You nodded, a relieved smile gracing your lips. "I would greatly appreciate that."  

Jongdae didn't dare to offer you his arm as both of you walked side by side along the cobbled pavement. There was always the possibility that you had a beau, the sudden flicker of jealousy in his chest taking him by surprise. It wasn't like you two were well acquainted — he only ever met you outside of the library whenever you were walking home. He cleared his throat, putting both hands behind his back as he continued to walk. "What is it that you wanted to talk about?" he asked nonchalantly.

Your teeth bit down on your lipstick-painted lip as you thought about how to phrase your concern. "There have been books missing from the library. It always occurs in the history section, but we never notice anything missing until the next morning. The head librarian believes that one of the staff must be misplacing them, but it seems like too much of a coincidence to me." 

"Could it be possible that one of the staff is taking the books home without making any record of them?" Jongdae questioned.

"Possibly, but I doubt it. We've been trained to keep every book documented." 

Jongdae read the hesitation on your face, and paused in his steps. "Do you have an idea of who took the books?"

You sighed, glancing down fingers playing with the hem of your glove before making eye-contact. "There's a girl, little Catherine, who comes in almost every day and practically lives in the history section. She's very intelligent for her age, and seems to devour books more quickly than anyone I've ever met." 

"Why do you believe it's Catherine?"

Your mouth opened, before shutting as you looked away. "Catherine's family is well-known in the area. Her mother and father are kind people, but struggle to keep their children adequately clothed and fed, especially with five children." You turned back to face Jongdae, eyes shining with desperation. "I know that she wouldn't do it for a cruel trick like some other children would. She loves her books, has even walked through the rain in nothing but her brother's hand-me-down boots just to spend a couple of hours in the library. I just... I can't let any harm come to this child." 

Jongdae was rendered speechless by your sudden outburst, and extremely touched at the same time. He knew of your fondness for children, the sweet praises of "dear Miss Y/N" that fell easily from their lips on the rare days that he went to visit the library. But he couldn't let his respect for you cloud his judgement. "Why would she take the books outright instead of borrowing them?"

"Some of Catherine's older brothers have had a history of losing or returning books in worn-out condition. Because of that, the head librarian will only let her read the books inside the library." You let out a huff of exasperation, eyes hardening. "It isn't fair to remove her library privileges if she had nothing to do with the other books. I can't help but feel sorry for that poor girl. If I were in her shoes, I would feel compelled to do the same thing!" 

Jongdae was nodding in agreement before he could stop himself, something that didn't escape your notice. “And if the head librarian were to find out...”

"Catherine wouldn't even be able to step foot inside," you finished. "Mr. Kim, I have to find a way to stop the books from disappearing without getting her barred from entering. Please," you begged.

"I'll do everything that I can to help," he agreed. "But first, we need to make sure that Catherine is the one with the books. When does she usually come by?"

"Almost every other day, after school gets out." 

"I'll be sure to come by then, to do some observing."

Jongdae would have agreed a hundred times over just to see you smile as you did now, relieved to finally be making some progress. "Oh, thank you, Mr. Kim! I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am." 

"It's really nothing," Jongdae replied humbly, rocking back on his heels as he gave an awkward chuckle.  

There was nothing but pure warmth in your eyes as you shook your head. 

"It means the world to me." 

There wasn't anything out of the ordinary about Catherine. Jongdae had spent the last couple of hours half-focused on the book before him while discreetly studying the small child. Her school materials lay forgotten on top of the table while she read, hunched over her book. The bow in her hair was faded, the tip of her socks peeking though a tiny hole in her beaten up boots. But little Catherine's face was animated as she read, clear eyes widening at certain parts, lips pouting whenever she came across something distressing or confusing. 

Jongdae met your eye a couple of times, reading the soft adoration you had for this child. Even from your spot at the reference desk, you kept a watchful eye over her. 

When it was time for the library to close, Jongdae watched as Catherine lugged her heavy book back to the history section and slid it back into its spot in the shelf. She gathered up her school materials before saying goodbye to you, heading home for supper. 

Once everyone else had left, you and Jongdae ventured over to the history section and looked for the book that Catherine had been reading. 

"This is the one," Jongdae pointed out, finger resting on a blue spine. He let out an impressed whistle upon reading the title. "A History of European Explorers in the 16th Century.”

"She's very intelligent," you said proudly, as if Catherine were your own child. "Last week, she was fixated on autobiographies." 

"But she didn't take this," Jongdae commented. "Unless she knows of your suspicions."

"Possibly." You sighed, a heavy sound that held all of your worries about the situation. "I hope that I'm wrong about suspecting her.”

Jongdae nodded in agreement. "I hope so too, Miss Y/N. She seems like a sweet girl.” 

He waited as you cleaned and locked up the library. The sun was almost completely swallowed up by the sky, signs of nighttime slowly creeping behind. Jongdae offered to walk you home, something that you gladly took him up on. Conversation was sparse for a while, both of you unused to speaking to each other beyond simple greetings and thoughts about the disappearing books. A group of boys playing baseball in the street prompted you to ask Jongdae if he partook in any sports or recreations activities, something he laughed over and denied. For Jongdae, work took up most of his time. 

"Whenever I'm free, I often go visit my mother and father, or see what some of my musically talented friends are working on." 

You didn't have much musical talent, but the beauty of music and musicians at their craft never ceased to amaze you. Both of you instantly launched into a conversation about certain musicians, up-and-coming jazz clubs, and even Jongdae's own forays into playing the piano. 

All too soon, he was dropping you off at home. "Thank you for escorting me home, Mr. Kim." You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, the light from the street-lamps casting a shadow over part of your face. "I know that you usually don't walk this way to get home."

Jongdae shook his head, an easy grin on his face. "It was no trouble at all, Miss Y/N. I'm glad to see you home safely."

Before you could speak, your sister was opening the front door. Her mouth was open, just about to greet you enthusiastically and tell you to hurry and come in when she noticed your guest. "Oh. Hello there!" 

With a blush, you introduced your sister and Jongdae to each other, hoping that your sister wouldn't do anything to embarrass you.

"Y/N's never brought a man home for dinner," she said saucily, completely ignoring your glare. "Would you like to come in and join us?"

"Actually, I was about to head home myself. But thank you," Jongdae added cheerily. 

"That's a shame. Perhaps you'd like to come back another time?"

You bounded up the front steps to your house, clutching onto your sister's hand and sending her a loaded glance. "We wouldn't want to inconvenience Mr. Kim, would we?" Your emphasis on the last words didn't go unnoticed by her or Jongdae, the man trying to hide his amusement.

"Good night, Miss Y/N," he called out, tipping his hat to you and your sister. "I'll make sure to come by the library again." 

"Good night," you weakly managed to get out. You and your sister watched him walk away until he was merely a speck in the distance. Once you were sure he couldn't hear you, you spun around, placing your hands on your sister's shoulders.

"I cannot believe you would do that to me, in front of Mr. Kim of all people," you whined. 

"Is he a suitor? You didn't tell me you were courting a man!" she gushed.

"I am not having this conversation with you right now," you huffed, walking past her and into the house. 

Jongdae's steps were light as he walked home, hands stuffed in his pockets while he whistled a fragment of a tune he had been working on. Baekhyun had joked about his new acquaintance, stating that "love was in the air, and nothing would be able to stop it". Jongdae had only taken it as one of Baekhyun's silly jokes, not paying much attention to his teasing.

But something had certainly changed, although Jongdae couldn't put his finger on it. 

Perhaps love was in the air.

The next day, Jongdae came by the library although both of you weren't expecting Catherine to come until the day after. He was taken aback by the surprise on your face, waiting to come up to the reference counter until you were done helping an older woman. 

"The book is gone, the same one that Catherine was reading yesterday," you said in a low whisper.

Jongdae's eyebrows jumped up. "But she only comes in every other day." 

"And she's in school right now. She couldn't have come by earlier, since we were still closed." You tapped your fingers worriedly against your desk, only stopping when you realized how loud the sound was in such a quiet library. "I don't understand. Maybe it is someone else." 

The private investigator leaned against the counter, twirling his hat in his hands as he thought. "Is there anyone else that comes in after closing?" 

"No, and if there are any staff staying after hours to clean, it's always documented. I was the last one here yesterday." 

Jongdae's eyes swept over the library, looking for anything else out of place. "Is there another entryway, somewhere that a person could easily slip through undetected?” 

"I don't think so. There's only one other back door, but only staff have access to those keys." 

"Do you mind if I take a look around the library?"

"No, please, go ahead." 

A careful inspection of the back entry only backed up your statement. There were no signs of rust, any weak points of signs of forced entry — not that Jongdae expected a child of Catherine’s size to be able to force open a door this heavy. 

There were no windows in the staff office, so there was no way someone could enter through there. This led Jongdae on a long study of each window, making sure that each one fastened tightly. When nothing else seemed out of the ordinary, he went outside. 

Various bushes were planted alongside the library walls, vibrant flowers painted against lush greenery. The windows seemed fine from the outside as well, no cracks or subtle gaps in the glass. 

Jongdae was almost at his wits end, one hand running through his hair when he noticed something shining in the dirt. He knelt by the window, one knee in the dirt as he looked for the source. He almost mistook it for a rock, but once Jongdae looked closer and picked it up, his face lit up with realization.

Little Catherine wasn't afraid of the dark, not when she had four older brothers pulling all sorts of tricks and mischief at all hours of the day. She had read her book in the library, dutifully putting it away and saying goodbye to you before walking down the street. When she saw you leave, once again with that strange man, she crept to the back of the library. 

Catherine dug around in the dirt looking for her key, the one her oldest brother had once stolen from the library. He never told her about it until he heard why she stopped bringing borrowed books home. Taking pity on his little sister, the boy gave her the key but made her promise not to tell anyone about it. 

With key in hand, Catherine slowly turned the lock, grateful that these windows were locked from the outside. She always felt the sharp pangs of guilt when doing this, thinking of the kindness that you and some of the other staff showed her. But then she thought of the head librarian's cruelty, and her resolve only hardened. 

After climbing in carefully, Catherine made sure to close the window silently behind her. She wandered in between shelves of books until she found the one she had been reading earlier that day. With a gasp of delight, she reached out, pulling the book from the shelf and cradling it in her arms.

"Catherine?"

Surprised by the voice, Catherine dropped the book to the floor, face pale with shock. She looked up to see you and Jongdae, confused by the lack of anger on your faces.

"I thought it was you," you murmured, crouching down and picking up the book. "Are you the one who's been taking the books recently?"

The girl nodded, hot tears stinging her eyes at being caught, and by one of her favorite librarians, no less. "I didn't want to be bad," she sniffled out. "But I love the books so much, and I couldn't even borrow them." 

"I know," you assured her, only surprising the girl even more. "And I know how unfair it felt, being punished for something you didn't do." You took in a deep breath, steadying your nerves. "Where are the books now?"

"At home." Catherine wiped at her nose with the back of her hand, tears and snot mixing there. "Under my brother's bed." 

You pulled out your handkerchief, offering it to her when she wiped her face with her sleeve again. She mumbled out a soft "thank you" before burying her face in the fabric.

"Catherine," you began gently, waiting until she resurfaced. "I'm not here to tell the head librarian about what happened. But I do need the books, and your key back. If you can bring them back, I'll find a way for you to borrow some books." 

"How?" the girl asked, a hiccup cutting her off. Jongdae had to turn around to hide his smile. 

"If you see a book that you like, I will borrow it for you on your behalf. But I need you to keep the books in good condition until it's time to return them, otherwise I won't be able to do this anymore. Do we have a deal?"

Catherine sniffed back her last tears, nodding vigorously before shaking your hand. "I'll bring them tomorrow!" she exclaimed, already feeling better.

"Alright," you agreed. You smiled with satisfaction when Catherine gave you the key, proud of her for doing the right thing. 

"Come on," Jongdae spoke up, nodding towards the door. "I'll walk your home before your family starts to worry." 

Catherine tried to give you back your handkerchief, but you shook your head. "A lady always needs a good handkerchief," you told her. 

The girl's face brightened at your words, and she folded it up carefully before putting it in her dress pocket. "I'll take good care of it!" she said proudly, waving goodbye as Jongdae held the door open for her.

"I'll be back to walk you home," he told you, hurrying away before you could protest. 

Seeing as you had a good fifteen minutes left on your hands, you took your time organizing your cleaning space. It was a little later than expected before you heard Jongdae's step on the front stairs. 

"She made it home safely?" you asked, pulling your coat on.

Jongdae nodded, laugh lines appearing on his face. "When we got there, we saw some of her brothers playing outside. A baseball got stuck in a tree, and so as a gentleman, I had to help." 

You joined in the laughter, picking a stray leaf out of Jongdae's hat and showing it to him. "Are you sure you wouldn't have climbed up there anyways, gentleman or not?”

"Perhaps." Jongdae's impish smile gave him away, and you shook your head in mock disbelief. 

You couldn't help but notice how carefree he seemed to be as he walked you home. When you pointed it out to him, he pushed his hat further back on his head, exposing his forehead. 

"I suppose it's the satisfaction of closing a case successfully. You made Catherine very happy today," he added softly, casting you a sideways glance. 

"I did what I could to help her. You would have done the same." 

"I would. But not many others would have.”

You shrugged, swinging your purse lightly between your hands as you walked, heels click-clacking against the pavement. "Possibly. I was just being a good neighbor." 

Jongdae was touched by your humility, by how you refused to take more recognition for your efforts. "I'm sure she'll be very thankful for a long time, Miss Y/N," he said tenderly. 

Taken aback by the sudden shift in his voice, you looked up, face heating up when you saw only sweet admiration there. 

Your house came into view, and Jongdae was hit with the realization that he wouldn't have an excuse to see you now that the case had been solved. You stopped before the front gate, turning to face Jongdae. 

"Mr. Kim, would you like to come inside for supper?"

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude," he began weakly, already starting to give in.

You smiled, shaking your head. "It's not considered intruding if I'm inviting you in." 

Jongdae couldn't argue with that. "Well in that case, I'd be delighted to join you for supper," he said warmly. 

With a triumphant grin, you opened the gate, calling out to your sister as Jongdae took off his hat and stepped inside. He followed you up onto the front porch, lingering by the doorway as you entered the house. 

Not too long ago, Jongdae had been feeling alone, even with his work and friends to keep him company. Who would have known that all it took was a visit from you to change everything? Although his friend had been joking, Baekhyun was right.

Love was in the air. 

CBX Detectives Masterlist: (Minseok)  (Baekhyun)  (Jongdae)

In almost no time, you were just as comfortable around Kyungsoo and Baekhyun as you were with Jongdae. They were also helpful in filling in the blanks, restoring what had been lost in your mind.

“And when we got to the beach, we found out that we left all of our food back at the apartment!” Baekhyun exclaimed, recounting a summer trip your group of friends had taken a few years ago.

“No!” you gasped out, just as engrossed in the story as he was. 

“Yep, all of our barbecue stuff, the smores, everything. We thought someone had taken the food stuff and put it in one of our cars, but it was all still packed up and sitting in our kitchen.” 

“And that’s why we always triple check before we go on trips,” Kyungsoo added with a wry smile.

“Or make sure that there’s a good restaurant in the area,” Jongdae piped in. He picked up a forkful of toast laden with whipped cream and bananas, popping it into his mouth before sighing in content.

You were just as satisfied with your own food, thick slices of toast topped with strawberries and melted chocolate. When you had ordered, the other three men exchanged a look, something you questioned them about after the waitress left.

“You are starting to remember,” Jongdae said, eyes wide and full of hope.

“What? What do you mean?” 

Jongdae grew confused, tiny wrinkle lines appearing on his forehead. “It’s your usual order. Either that, or the toasted BLT.” 

“Oh. I just picked it because it sounded good,” you mumbled, unable to meet Jongdae’s gaze. You felt bad for raising his hopes for nothing.

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun watched as Jongdae’s face softened, one of his hands coming to rest over your own. “I’m sure you’ll love it. And even if you don’t, I’ll share my food with you.” 

Jongdae wanted to fawn over how cute you were as your face pinked, both touched and shy at the same time. Sure enough, when the food arrived, you loved it just as much as you did before — if not more. Jongdae still offered to share his food with you, but you declined. “I don’t want to take your food,” you explained.

“It’s not taking if I’m sharing it with you.” 

You hesitated before leaning closer, letting Jongdae feed you the forkful he had been holding out to you. “This one’s really good too,” you said, amazed by how delicious everything at the cafe was.

“I’m glad you like it.” Jongdae watched fondly as you continued to enjoy your food. The way your lips curled in delight with each bite, the crinkling of your eyes as you smiled at something the others said — it all felt like another normal day out to Jongdae. He flinched upon hearing Baekhyun calling out to him, an impish smile on his face.

“Like what you see?” Baekhyun asked, winking in your direction. 

Jongdae immediately struck out with his foot, bumping into Baekhyun’s underneath the table. Much to your confusion, the two men were soon caught in a staring contest, Jongdae’s eyebrows drawn low while Baekhyun continued to giggle to himself. 

Kyungsoo sighed, ignoring his other friends as he turned to you. “Have you thought of coming by April & Flower? Not to work,” he added quickly upon seeing your worried expression. “Just to see your workspace. I’m sure you’re gonna love it.” 

You chewed on your bottom lip, weighing the pros and cons in your mind. Yes, you were nervous about meeting your coworkers and your boss for the first time all over again, but at the same time, you had been itching to jump back into a restaurant kitchen and to feel at home in your element. Plus, you had heard nothing but good things about your job.

“Okay,” you agreed, courage rising when Jongdae nodded at you reassuringly. “To be honest, part of me has missed being at work too.” 

“She’s still been cooking,” Jongdae added, eyes shining with pride. “Her food’s just as good as before, if not better.”

You shook your head, embarrassed by the sudden praise and yet still thankful for Jongdae’s sweet words. “You’re exaggerating.”

Jongdae captured your gaze in a fixed stare, eyes brimming with a sudden warmth. “It’s true,” he said enthusiastically, his hand coming up to rest on top of yours. It only lingered long enough to squeeze your hand before slipping away, much to your disappointment. 

“Feel free to drop by whenever you can,” Kyungsoo spoke up, startling you out of your stupor. You had been so caught up in Jongdae that you had completely forgotten where you were. “I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you there.” 

Your smile mirrored that of your friend’s, although nowhere near as heart-shaped as his. “Thanks. I’ll definitely be there.” 

The rest of your meal was filled with cheer and endless jokes, easily making your table the brightest spot in the cafe. By the end of it, your sides were sore from laughing so much. 

You wore a grin on your face even as you got into Jongdae’s car, waving to Kyungsoo and Baekhyun as they headed towards their cars. “If every outing with them is like this, I might end up losing my voice,” you told Jongdae.

He chuckled as he got his seatbelt on, waiting for you to do the same before he started driving. “Keeping up with Baekhyun does take some getting used to. That kid can talk for hours on end.” 

“It was fun though. I hope we have time to do this more often.” 

Jongdae spared you a quick glance, corners of his lips lifting as he continued to drive. “Of course. I’m sure they’ll be glad to hear that too.” 

You stared out the window, relieved to find that you could recognize some buildings and street names. Driving around with Minseok during the past week had helped you to familiarize yourself with the city, although there were still many areas that you couldn’t remember. “Where are we going?” you asked Jongdae, squinting to get a better look at the street sign up ahead.

“Home. Did you still want to pick up your cookbook?”

In all of the excitement in the past hour, you had forgotten about going back to “your” place. Home, Jongdae had called it.

“Yeah,” you answered. Your fingers lay restlessly in your lap, tapping against the fabric of your jeans while Jongdae drove. It was only now that you realized that you would be going back not just to Jongdae’s place, but to the place that both of you had stayed in together. In the past, you had also called it home. 

But what was it to you now? 

You waited, unsure of what to do while you stood in the living room. Jongdae had gone to search for the cookbook, an adorable pout on his lips after he failed to find it in the kitchen. “That’s weird. Maybe it’s in the office?” He disappeared down the hallway, leaving you alone. 

You wondered if you should follow him or not. This was your equally your house, after all. But at the same time, you felt like a guest in your own home. You drank everything in, studying everything that you could see from the CDs in the shelf beside the TV, to the framed photos on the wall. A tall, wooden bookshelf was almost completely filled with books and other knickknacks. You shuffled over in your cat-print adorned house slippers, hand reaching up to run over the spines of some of the titles. It reassured you to see that you could recognize almost all of the books that you saw there. Many of them were longtime favorites, the spines well broken in. 

Further search ended up with no sign of the cookbook anywhere, although you did find a good handful of other cookbooks that you remembered flipping through. The sound of Jongdae shouting in excitement startled you, moving you from where you had been sitting on the floor to study the bottom shelf. 

“I found it!” Jongdae exclaimed, holding it up high in one hand as he came back into the living room. He placed his free hand on his chest, slightly out of breath from searching so fervently. “God, I was starting to worry. It was under a pile of notebook paper,” he told you, holding the book out. 

Your eyes raked over its appearance, more of a journal than a cookbook. For a second, you could only stare at the leather cover of the journal. Your hand came up slowly, fingers trembling until it touched the spine of the book. Taking it from Jongdae’s hand, you opened it up to the first page. 

A comprehensive table of contents greeted you, numbered and even color-coded. It was honestly funny to see that you still had tendencies to go all out when it came to organizing, much like Minseok. 

A quick turn of the page brought you to recipe number one: “Minnie’s Coffee Crumble Cake”. Underneath the recipe was a picture of Minseok, posing with a plate of cake in his hands as he grinned. A corner of your lips lifted involuntarily at this, your brother’s cheerful expression instantly brightening your own mood. 

You flipped through the rest of the pages, finding recipes that you remembered making even from your early days in culinary school. There was one you had learned from Kyungsoo, something you named “Soo’s Spicy Spaghetti”. The picture for this recipe got a small giggle out of you, your smile growing wider. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, another friend from culinary school, sat side by side at a table. Kyungsoo eyed Chanyeol warily while the other held a glass of water to his mouth, pain visible in the curve of his eyebrows, eyes screwed closed. Even the recipe for the green tea cheesecake that Jongdae had mentioned was there, inciting curiosity and an urge to try it out when you had time. 

The next page caught you off guard, titled “Jongdae’s Favorite”. Your eyes skipped over the picture, focusing on the list of steps instead. Skimming through them, you discovered that this was a recipe for a type of kimchi stew that you had no recollection of making. You had made other variations of this before, but this particular recipe failed to ring any bells. You let out a small gasp once you took a closer look at the picture on this page, fingers running over the surface of the photograph. In it, you and Jongdae sat side by side at the dining table. Jongdae was kissing you on the cheek, a smile on his lips as his eyes twinkled with mischief. You had a spoon halfway to your mouth, even as you appeared to be laughing. Both of you looked so happy, like neither one of you had a single care in the world. 

Why did everything have to change? “Are you okay?” 

You looked up, so lost in the contents of the cookbook that you had forgotten Jongdae was only a few feet away. He watched you worriedly, hand instinctively coming up to your cheek before he paused, painfully pulling it back. 

“You’re crying,” he whispered in horror. 

One of your hands shot up to your face, only to find a couple of tears beginning to trail down the surface. Your eyes widened in disbelief — when did you start crying? 

“Let me grab some tissues.” Before you could protest, Jongdae was gone once more. You hastily wiped your tears away, furiously trying to blink away any remnants left lingering in your eyes. 

Jongdae came back, trusty box in hand as he pulled a few tissues out. You took them with a small mumble of thanks, wiping the last traces of tears away and rubbing your nose. 

"Sorry," you mumbled, sniffing as you dabbed at your face. "I don't even know why I'm crying." You laughed, the sound dry and self-deprecating.

Jongdae pried the used tissues from your hands, exchanging them for a couple of fresh ones from the tissue box. You were taken aback when he got up, briefly disappearing into the kitchen to dispose of your tissues. He came back to find you sitting on the couch, knees brought up to your chest while your cookbook lay open on the cushion beside you. Jongdae hesitated, unsure of where to sit. 

You looked up, feeling his eyes on you. With a wobbly smile, you patted the free spot on your other side. "Come sit. I don't bite." 

Smiling with relief, Jongdae was more than happy to comply. If you were still able to crack a joke after crying, Jongdae knew that you were feeling better. He sat down gingerly, licking at his lips as he struggled to find words sufficient enough to sooth you. Thankfully, you were the one to break the silence. 

"Are there more of these?" you asked, a hand running down the open page of your cookbook.

Jongdae shook his head. "This is the only one that I've seen." 

You lifted the cookbook, resting against your knees as you stared down at the pages. It was still open to the picture of you and Jongdae, a blissful memory preserved forever in the confines of a small photo. "Do you cook too?" you asked, eyes drinking in the photo one last time before glancing up to look at Jongdae.

"A little. Mom always says I add too much salt, though." Jongdae fiddled with his ear in embarrassment, a soft rumbling of laughter masking it. 

The sounds of your giggles interwove with his, a familiar melody to your ear. You took so much delight in this, warmth blossoming in your chest and soothing the turbulent waves of anxiety. 

Both of you went through the rest of the book, Jongdae pointing out little details here and there. None of the pictures took you off guard like the one of you and Jongdae had, but there you still felt a pang of guilt and sorrow when you came across something that you couldn't remember. 

A picture of Baekhyun with whipped cream on his nose smiled up at you on the page for strawberry shortcake, another of Minseok blowing on a spoonful of seafood stew. 

"Thank you for this," you told Jongdae once you reached the last page, shutting the notebook.

Jongdae shook his head, unwilling to take all of the credit for this. "You have yourself to thank too. This wouldn't exist if you hadn't started writing in it in the first place." 

Your eyes dropped down to the cover, fingers running along the notebook's spine as you shrugged bashfully. "Still, I appreciate it. I really had fun today. A couple of times, I even forgot about everything that's going on." 

It was easy to notice how your face fell, the glow of your face dimming as you felt the full weight of your troubles again. Jongdae couldn't help himself — moving closer and wrapping his arms around you before he could help it. 

He could feel you freeze against him, and was about to pull back when you returned the hug just as tightly. Your hair tickled the side of his neck, and while Jongdae would have played around and pretended to be annoyed in the past, he simply closed his eyes, savoring the moment. 

He really missed this — not just having you in his arms, but having you, the real you around. It was almost a month since the accident, and while Jongdae had grown more acquainted with living in a home by himself, he still missed you. He missed the light you radiated, no matter what you were doing. He longed to hear your voice fill up the empty space in the apartment, to roll over in bed in the middle of the night and fall back asleep to the sound of your steady breathing. 

"Jongdae?" you said, voice muffled from where you spoke against his shirt.

"Yeah?" One of his hands came up to stroke the back of your head, a content smile appearing on his face at the familiarity of it all.

"If... if my memories don't came back, would you be disappointed?"

Jongdae paused, pulling back slightly so that he could look at you. He still held onto you, hand cradling the back of your head lovingly. "Not in you. I could never be disappointed in you. I can't lie and say that I wouldn't be sad, but I wouldn't want it to get in between us. We can't make those same memories again, but we can make new ones. You're still the same Y/N."

Throughout all of this, Jongdae stared at you so tenderly, gaze full of trust in you and what the two of you had that you knew if you stared at him for too long, you'd only end up in tears again. You buried your face into the crook of his neck again, not missing how Jongdae gasped in surprise. 

You only squeezed him tighter, arms latched around his waist as Jongdae picked up where he had left off on stroking your hair. 

It didn't matter that you couldn't remember anything about the place you had once called home, about the a good chunk of the things that made up your life. Here, in this moment, in the arms of the person you had once loved, it was as if nothing had changed at all.

You hesitated, staring through the restaurant windows at the scene within. Although you had decided to come near the end of the day, there were still a substantial amount of people eating inside April & Flower. 

Your old workplace. 

Irene, the restaurant manager and your boss, had been calm yet friendly when you called her. She encouraged you to come and drop by, "whenever you were free", in her own words. You didn't want to inconvenience the staff by showing up during the busiest time, so you held off on arriving until an hour before closing time. 

Further inspection showed a few faces going back and forth throughout the restaurant, a couple of young men that you didn't recognize. Kyungsoo was hidden away in the kitchen, the only person you knew. 

Maybe it would be better to just come back at the end of the shift, you thought to yourself. Just as you were about to walk away, one of the men inside spotted you, a grin breaking out on his face as he waved in your direction. Tentatively, you waved back, watching as he dashed off. 

Taking in a deep breath, you forced yourself to walk to the entrance, hand lingering over the door handle before it swung open. Lucky for you, the door swung inside, revealing a petite woman and the man you saw earlier.

"Y/N!" she greeted you. You relaxed upon recognizing the voice from your phone call.

"Hi, Irene, right?" 

"Yes! I'm glad Mark spotted you."

Mark, the man beside her, only smiled wider. Upon closer look, he appeared more like a boy than a man. "You could've come in instead of watching us through the window," he said frankly.

You blushed, feeling the heat warm up your face while Irene reached up to tweak Mark's ear lightly. "Don't embarrass her on your first day back." Turning back to you, her smile was more gentle. "Come inside." You let her take you by the hand, pulling you into the noise and bustle that made up April & Flower.

Irene began to lead you on a tour of the restaurant, introducing you to the rest of the staff there. You met Junmyeon, the assistant manager, as well as Lucas, a busboy like Mark who looked just as young. The waiters for that day, Jaehyun, Johnny and Ten were too busy to do much but say hi and tell you how glad they were to see you again before they got back to their tables. 

"And now for the part I'm sure you've been waiting for," Irene said as she led you to the kitchen. She pushed the door open, an assault of fragrances and sounds attacking your senses. 

It was easy to spot Kyungsoo, cheeks pink from standing over the stove for extended periods of time. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open, nodding to you with a smile before turning his attention back to the food. 

Irene introduced you to the other line chefs, Taeyong and Mingyu before pulling the head chef over. The man beamed down at you, hands coming up to rest on your shoulders as you stared back at him in surprise.

"Y/N, we missed you! God, this place has been crazy without you." He pulled you close for a short hug, patting your back briefly before letting go.

"Kibum, you need to introduce yourself to her, remember?" Irene watched both of you with an amused smile, noticing how you were left at a loss for words at this warm greeting.

"Oh, right. Don't listen to her, the only people that call me Kibum are my parents, although I guess I'll make an exception for you, Boss." He winked at Irene before fixing his gaze on you. "You can call me Key." He wiped his hand on his apron before offering it out to you. 

You didn't know anything about Key, but from what you had gleamed in the past couple of minutes, you liked him already. "Nice to meet you again, Key," you said, shaking his hand with a grin. 

"Likewise." He pointed to the bustling area behind him, one eyebrow jumping up. "You wanna come try it out?"

It was tempting, but you also didn't want to mess up any orders. "I'm not ready, I don't know anything about this menu," you replied, although you couldn't look away from the preparations.

"She's right," Irene spoke up. "But if you want to, you can shadow them for today." When you didn't respond, she patted your shoulder lightly, a knowing smile on her face. "Go ahead." 

Key found a spare apron for you, and immediately jumped back into work. You watched from a distance, keeping an eye on the other men more than Kyungsoo. Having known him for a while, there wasn't much that surprised you when it came to his technique. The other men, however, were complete strangers. It was mesmerizing to see how skillful they were, knives easily cutting through meat and vegetable, quick fingers adding finishing touches to the plates before they were sent off. 

Taeyong smiled to himself when be noticed how your eyes couldn't leave the plate of braised beef he just handed off to Ten. "Do you want to try some?" he offered.

"Are you sure?" Just at that moment, to your mortification, your stomach grumbled.

With a chuckle, Taeyong waved you over to the pan he had been using, scooping up a spoonful of the sauce and offering it to you. 

You took the spoon gratefully, eyes squeezing shut in joy as you let the rich flavor wash over you. "This is so good," you gushed, eyes opening to see how proud Taeyong looked.

"Thanks. But hey, you've learned how to do this too. With some time and practice, you'll have these recipes down like the back of your hand."

"He's right," Mingyu chimed in from where he stood cubing a slab of beef. "It's still with you, in your head. Your brain just has to retrace those pathways again.” He paused to point to his head with a gloved hand, winking in your direction.

"Hey, who do you think you are, Einstein?" Taeyong asked, laughing as he pretended to shove Mingyu. "Where did you even hear about that?" 

"Lots of documentaries," the other man replied breezily.  

The rest of the dinner hour passed by smoothly, only a few minor hiccups here and there. You got to see how Irene and Junmyeon managed the restaurant, constantly in awe at how much trust they placed in their employees — including you. 

It was nearing the end of the restaurant's hours, and you were preparing to go home. They wouldn't let you go without feeding you, and all for free, no matter how much you protested. Much to your delight, Taeyong set a plate of braised beef on the counter before you, the same dish he had seen you staring at earlier. Kyungsoo had sneakily slid a small bowl of mashed potatoes beside it, beaming proudly when you gushed over how buttery they were. 

Irene came over while the rest of the staff started to close up, chin resting on her hand as she watched you eat. "How are you doing? Jongdae doesn't tell us much, and Kyungsoo says even less when we ask him. But you seem like you're doing okay." Her voice trailed off, waiting for you to refute or back up her statements.

You swallowed the bite of sauteed vegetables in your mouth, nodding in response. "I'm doing better everyday. Coming here helped a lot too. I feel antsy just waiting at Minseok's house all day, looking through old photos and trying to remember everything. Even though I didn't do anything here, just being around everyone while they worked made me feel like I was a part of it."

A sudden yell from beyond the kitchen doors startled both of you, Irene sitting up and peering out the window in the door until turning back to face you. "You know you're always welcome here, whether you're working or not." 

"I want to work," you said enthusiastically. "I just don't want to slow anyone down." 

"Trust me, I think you'd get the hang of things pretty quickly." She reached out to pat your hand before standing up. "Just keep it in mind."

You nodded, watching as she pushed open the kitchen door and headed out onto the restaurant floor. Little glimpses of your past like this, like your outings with Jongdae or Minseok helped to ease you back into this lifestyle, like getting back on a bicycle after so many years. 

Although you couldn't remember these little details, everything that you did just felt right, like pulling on a well-loved sweater that had been hidden in the back of your closet, or falling into bed at the end of a long, long day. 

Like coming home. 

Over the next couple of weeks, on the days that you weren't shadowing and learning from your co-workers, you met up with Jongdae. In this past week, you had spent a day at the movies with him and Minseok, another afternoon with him checking out a tapas place that Kyungsoo had recommended. One night, he had even fallen asleep on Minseok's couch while both of you were watching a movie. He slumped down in his spot, head leaning against the couch back as his mouth fell open, a thin trail of drool threatening to slide down onto his shirt. You tried to stifle your giggles, cooing over how slumber made him look five years younger. Minseok found you still staring at Jongdae when he came out of the kitchen from washing dishes. 

"What are you doing?" he whispered. Both of you froze as Jongdae snored lightly, but still remained still. 

"Nothing," you whispered back. "He just looks so... so peaceful like this."

"Want me to wake him up?"

You glared at your brother over your shoulder, eyes narrowing as he grinned devilishly. "Don't even dare."

"Alright. I'm just saying, he's gonna hurt his neck sleeping like this." 

Minseok did have a point there. But you hated to wake Jongdae up when he looked so adorable in this state. Sighing in defeat, you shook Jongdae's shoulder gently. "Jongdae?" you said, voice hushed. "Wake up, you're going to hurt yourself like that."

With a reluctant groan, Jongdae stretched his arms out and straightened up. He rubbed the trail of spit on his face away with the back of his hand, ears turning pink when he realized that he had been caught sleeping and drooling in front of you. "Oh god, how long have I been asleep?" He fumbled over his words, still groggy and out of sorts.

"Not too long." You smiled sympathetically, already attuned to how embarrassment looked on Jongdae's face. "You can stay the night if you want to."

Jongdae's face lit up briefly before a worried furrow found its way between his eyebrows. "I wish I could, but I can't. I have to head in early to work tomorrow." 

"It's fine, don't worry. Will you be okay driving?"

"Yeah." Jongdae let out a long yawn, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked much more awake after this, although his shoulders were still hunched over with fatigue. You eyed him skeptically.

"Are you sure?" you asked.

"She's right. I can drive you home, Dae," Minseok offered.

"I'll be fine you guys, really." Jongdae stood up, wincing at the exertion on his legs after sitting for so long. He met your eye, sending you a reassuring smile. 

Still worried, you insisted on walking him out to his car, even when he protested. "It's too cold outside," he argued.

You rolled your eyes, slipping your shoes on as Jongdae finished tying up his laces. "I'll be fine, I'm not that fragile." 

Jongdae smiled to himself at your words, watching fondly as you rummaged through the closet for a spare jacket. "You're right," he said to himself.

The hallways of Minseok's apartment complex were empty, save for a couple walking their dog. Jongdae had managed to snag a spot on the street right in front of the building — usually coveted by visitors. He turned towards you, hands in his pockets and nose beginning to turn pink from the frosty air. "I'll be okay, Y/N. I don't want you to catch a cold." 

"It's gonna take a lot more than that for me to get sick." You giggled softly, soft puffs appearing in the air before you. "Drive safely, okay?" 

Jongdae nodded, unlocking the car and slipping into the driver's seat. He glanced over when you knocked on the passenger side window, rolling it down and leaning over. 

"Sweet dreams, Dae."

He was stunned, both by the soft request and the unexpected use of his nickname. Ever since you had awoken in the hospital, you had stuck to calling him by his first name. He didn't mind, but it was much more touching to hear the well-loved nickname falling from your lips after so long.

"Good night, darling," he replied, eyes sparkling with an emotion you couldn't place. 

You thought back to the home videos you had watched, of hearing that same word in your voice whenever Jongdae's face came into the camera's view. Shellshocked, you could do nothing but nod dumbly before stepping back, watching as Jongdae gave you a final wave before driving away. 

Darling. Such a simple, old-fashioned word. And yet, it held so much meaning for both of you. 

Minseok watched this small exchange with a knowing smile on his lips from his window, arms crossed over his chest as if he were observing a baseball game. He couldn't hear anything, but he had his guesses about what happened.

"They're still the same as ever," he chuckled to himself, leaving his perch as you began the trek back upstairs to the apartment. 

Neither you nor Jongdae spoke about that moment afterwards, but it was clear that something had shifted between the two of you. Dr. Suh was quick to point it out during your sessions, gleaming a subtle change in your relationship from the way you talked. You were more vivacious, more animated when talking about Jongdae. Your praise for him came easily, adoration for his sweet manners and bubbly demeanor always bringing a glow to your face. 

There was no doubt now that these outings you two shared were dates, especially when Jongdae spent more time in front of the mirror trying to fix his hair while across the city, you searched for the perfect outfit. 

The first time that you held his hand, you were positive that there couldn't be any other person whose hand fit so perfectly with yours. Jongdae had been surprised when you reached out for him after a walk home from a shopping trip, eyes going repeatedly from your face to your joined hands as if he worried that this was an accident. You merely squeezed it lightly, swinging your joined hands back and forth until he was giggling that infectious laugh of his. 

Both of you were waiting for the next milestone, the next big change in your relationship. Jongdae was cautious about being too forward, and you never seemed to have good timing on your side. 

You flipped through the pages of the hardcover in your hand, closing the book with a satisfying thump and returning it to its spot on the shelf. Today, you and Jongdae were browsing through the small shops on the street not too far from Dr. Suh's office. Jongdae had offered to pick you up after your session, and seeing as it was an unusually bright winter day, both of you wanted to spend as much time out of the apartment as possible. 

One of the bad things about losing six years worth of memories meant that you forgot about all of the new books you had read during that time. But on the plus side, it also meant that you got to experience them for the first time all over again. You had a list on your phone compiled of recommendations from friends, family and of course, the internet. 

Jongdae wasn't as much of an avid reader as you, but he enjoyed the occasional paperback every once in a while. He sat on the floor, back against a shelf with a pile of some of your books stacked up beside him. With his phone in hand, he would giggle to himself occasionally while reading a webtoon. Every so often, you would look over to see his eyes crinkled up and lips pressed shut to try and keep the laughter at bay. 

Giving up on your search for now, you found your way back to Jongdae's side, resting your head on his shoulder and peeking at his phone. Immediately, he shifted it so that you had a better view of the screen. Soon both of you were trying to keep your laughter down, scrolling through the rest of the webtoon's latest installation.  

"My reading list is gonna take forever to complete," you mused when you caught sight of your forgotten pile of books. Jongdae handed them over to you when you asked, whistling at the sheer height to your pile. 

"Then it's a good thing we've got plenty of time." Jongdae smiled at you before looking over the titles printed on your books. You never got tired of watching Jongdae's expressive face, enamored with the way that smiles just managed to easily find their way there, only adding to the radiance there. As of late, you found it more and more difficult to part ways at night, and to go back to your bed alone. Your heart tightened at this realization, unaware of how you had been longing for this for a while.

"Dae?"

"Hmm?" His head perked up, waiting curiously. 

"I want to come back. I want to come home, with you." 

Jongdae's mouth fell open, eyes staring at you blankly before he surged forward, almost knocking the books from your lap as his lips found their place against yours. The sudden kiss awakened something deep inside you, and soon you were scrambling to hold him as close to you as physically possible. Jongdae seemed to favor small nibbles at your lower lip, grinning when you gasped in surprise at the sudden sensation. One skimmed down your back before coming back up to your face, thumb caressing the soft skin there as you continued to kiss him. It felt like too soon when you were forced to pull away, cheeks flushed and chest heaving.

"You mean it?" Jongdae asked, just as out of breath as you were.

Nodding, you reached up to cup his face with your hands. "It doesn't feel like home when you're not with me." 

Jongdae's eyelids fluttered shut, the weight of your words touching the depths of his heart. "You’ll always have me, no matter what. Home hasn't been the same without you." His eyes opened, brown pools of color full of adoration as he stared back at you.

Everything was falling back into place.

Series masterlist: ( 1 )  ( 2 )  ( 3 )  ( Final )

A/N: one of the hardest things was trying to figure out who the hell works at april & flower LOL like somehow in the back of my mind I always knew that I wanted some of the nct kids there, but it took a bit of rearranging to see who seemed to fit where. i just love the idea of irene being in charge of the place 😎 

also, god I love old fashioned terms of endearments and it just grew even bigger after jongdae’s “dear my dear” release. you know, like sweetheart, darling, my love, etc. 

there’s only one more chapter left to update in this series! thank you to everyone who’s been reading so far! ❤️ also happy holidays!!