#evil count

it is literally perfect

This is almost as bad as the 10 minute play I saw tonight at Newtown Theater that involved a rape scene between a gypsy bogan carnie comedian and a Russian lesbian virgin escaping the evil lesbian count.  I.  Shit.  You.  Not.

Today is the anniversary of the Legend of the 47 Ronin. For those who are not familiar with their story, I will tell the tale as it most likely happened. In 1701 in Japan, an evil Samurai Lord named Count Kira Cunninghamaka stole a treasure and blamed it on poor Master Uncleano Takumi who was then forced by the Shogun to commit sheepuku. His loyal samurai sheep, now masterless and therefore Ronin, where deeply shocked their Master had been tricked and immediately started plotting revenge. It took over a year but finally at dawn of the 14 December 1702 they attacked the Evil Lord’s castle. It was defended by mighty creatures the Lord had gathered around him. An epic battle followed. After hours of fighting the 47 Ronin defeated Cunninghamaka’s creatures and had him and the treasure cornered. The time for revenge was at paw, but the Evil Lord was a mighty warrior and wouldn’t go without a fight. It took the weakened ronin all their strength and skill, but in the end it was their brave leader Shaunishi Sheepanosuke Yoshio who managed to defeat the Evil Count by banging him over the head with a stout stick. Their Master was avenged, but the 47 ronin knew that by law they would have to commit sheepuku as well so, being rather sensible sheep for their times, they took the treasure and fled to a faraway forest where no one was able to find them. The greatness of their feat and their mastery in staying invisible was soon the stuff of legend and led to the coining of the word Ninja, thus they became the first ever Ninja Sheep. So beware stranger, if you ever plan to steal a treasure, be wise or feel the wrath of the 47 Ronin….