#everyday lessons

It’s almost 2 a.m., and I’m staring at the ceiling like it might give me an answer. My stomach is growling with the enthusiasm of a morning alarm clock, but my eyes are heavy and my body is quietly begging for rest. I’m caught in that familiar tug-of-war: do I get up and eat, or stay put and sleep? It sounds silly at first—just eat if you’re hungry, right? But the truth is, this tiny dilemma…

I used to feel so confident in my knowledge and skills when it comes to dealing with patients. I thought that what I knew and had was enough. I thought I was smart enough. I thought that I already had the clinical eye.

But then I had my first patient in front of me and I was paralyzed. I realized I didn’t know where to start. Anything can happen to this person before me. Some disease is already brewing and happening inside him/her and I didn’t know what to ask, to say, to do.

From there, I knew that books and pictures weren’t enough. Exams and quizzes, no matter how much they’ve taught me and drowned me, won’t help in the slightest once you encounter the patient in the flesh.

From there, I knew that I had a long way to go. Such a long way. I have cried and howled and I know there are more waves of those to come but I have no choice for I chose this path.

I just have to stay and see where the road of life takes me.

I want to take this positively though. I mean, this is a good motivation. Sabi nga, charge to experience na lang, and be more careful next time. I've been very careful. I do not understand which kind of possession I've been in last week. Can't blame it on the power outage, it won't be held responsible. Haha! 

So, cheers to another year. I promise. Such a thing will never, ever happen again.

I need ice cream!!! Haha!