hello ella. would like to start a discussion from one of your tags saying that imark is not a bad listener unlike omark... because i think he kind of is hear me out. okay so i feel like throughout s1 instead of listening to helly's concerns he is more focused on getting her to conform to the realities of the severed floor. he doesn't even realise how she's doing mentally in 1x04, and obviously after that he becomes way better at listening. and then in s2 he doesn't realise that she's not helly even though he arguably should know her the best out of everyone? and yeah we can make 293029 theories on why that is but i feel like him not paying attention has got to be some part of it right?
on the other hand, let's say imark is a good listener and omark is a terrible listener, do you think we will get an explanation as to why and what do you think it is (something to do with his upbringing is myyy guess but i'd love to hear your thoughts) okay much love byeee xx
HOO BOY YESSS. Ok ok ok very fun question! Gonna answer this step by step:
When I say bad/good listener I donāt really mean considerate or not, I mean literally attentive to another personās words and actions. Mark Scout is consistently shown to be poor at remembering things that the people he cares about tell him (forgets Devonās dinnerless dinner party is happening, calls Ricken āRickā even tho he expresses thatās not what he likes to be called, keeps on calling Alexa a doula when sheās told him more than once she is a midwife, āI said I like plantsā)
Mark S is constantly invalidating Hellyās feelings and trying to get her to conform but he is not checked out of what she is telling him. He is almost immediately adjusting his behavior to try to connect with her (admitting to breaking protocol at her ice breaker in front of Milchick, including her in Eagan Bingo even tho he knows Irving will get mad at them because he knows thatās the only way he could make this excursion enjoyable for her, him being RIGHT about that, intervening when Ms Casey is making her uncomfortable and knowing how to subtly tell her heās trying to sneak her out for a walk)
In s1e4 I see it as that Helly was either actively hiding her mental state from everyone else (the juxtaposed shots of her preparing to hang herself vs extreme closeups of her smiling up at Mark in this really calm and beautiful way and telling him sheās āgoodā) OR that she was having that suicidal intention boost where she felt like she saw the the light at the end of the tunnel and was just genuinely excited to execute her plan. DARK I know but, thatās Hellyās state of mind for ya. So I canāt really blame him for not seeing what was about to happen.
Going off of @gemmafuckingscout ās timeline Helena was probably only on the severed floor for a grand total of TWO days followed by a day of ORTBO before she was exposed, so I also canāt really be that surprised Mark didnāt pick up what was off. He had a lot on his plate in trying to find Ms Casey and feeling really big huge feelings heād never felt before and Helena playing into what he wanted to hear did not help in keeping his critical eye open! Irving, to be fair, had some psychic dreams that helped him figure that one out.
The text of the show also wants us to think that Helena and Helly were super duper similar in behavior āyouāre like her, or sheās like youā (it seems that is debatable, lol). WHATEVER
I DO find it interesting to compare that with Scoutie who, on the other hand, identified Ms Casey as not really Gemma after like two seconds of reintegration flashbacks, same with Cold Harbor innie who he was able to communicate with very effectively. Like, itās not black and white, clearly!
The other direct comparison is Gemma telling Mark that she was nervous to start the fertility treatments and him telling her to āturn around and bend overā (very funny and charming until theyāre arguing and heās saying shit like āI have no idea how youāre feelingā) and meanwhile when helly tells mark sheās nervous he validates her and says āme tooā.
I was just talking to @spareham about this but I really have no strong opinions on what made oMark ālike thatā. All we really know is that he and his father are both alcoholics. Could be as little as a very bad example being set for him at a young age on how to deal with your emotions.
His sister and wife are willing to meet him where he is, so why would he change? Alexa tries to meet him where he is, he tries to change for her, fails, and then when she comes to get her phone he is! Idk! Heās drunk again, heās pushy, heās intense as hell and surprised that she does not respond well to him ripping up that picture of Gemma.
Heās forced to leave his teaching position and he knows he wonāt be able to pull himself together enough to get a regular job elsewhere, so he severs, which is just an extension of his usual instinct to numb himself to any pain heās feeling (and the pain others are feeling around him!!!) Heās just as devastated to have lost a child as he is to see Gemma so distraught, heās probably nearly as pained by his own struggles as he is to see Devon fearing the worst every day for him. In both cases he just tries to drown it out in whatever methods available to him.
He is very resistant to change and growth, while Mark S is very much willing to and capable of improving himself for Helly. He changes his perception of himself, of her, of the way the way the world is and becomes a braver, more selfless person because she inspires him to be so.
Devon tells Mark S that Gemma āwas wonderful, made [him] wonderful.ā But what do we really see of that? He is clearly happier when Gemma is in his life, rough patch in marriage aside. Now Iām speaking from the pov of someone who has like, lived with an addict for a while (tmi, whatever) but IDK. I think the relationship didnāt seem to actually influence him to self improve; I think it alleviated some of his stressors and then it added to them later, terrible coping mechanism intact the whole way through.
Gemma could never fix Mark because no one can fix anyone. Helly didnāt fix Mark S, she just inspired him and he did the work to change his mindset. Mark S didnāt fix Helena Eagan, he just inspired her to see herself and others differently and seems to be doing something behind the scenes to benefit people other than herself/Lumon (see recent Helena posts). Gemma did not fix Mark Scout and her death did not break him, he just continues to deal with his problems the same way, no matter what, even if itās fatal! And it will be if he does not finally self improve and face his grief and loss head on. If he doesnāt respect himself (both literally his own self and Mark S) he will lose himself.
I say all ALL of this as a big humongous softie for Mark Scout. I genuinely love his character, all of this fucked up baggage included. Based on Mark Sās behavior (and his second date with Alexa), heās obviously capable of being a better partner. Based on his behavior (and s2e5) Mark S is capable of being a worse partner. I suspect as Mark and Helly end up with more free time as a couple things will crop up. But we will see! I hope this was interesting to you!
