#evereds

IT’S quiet enough that cassia can hear her own footsteps in the room, any and all noise echoing off the walls. it doesn’t bother her, she lives most of her life in silence after all, but it’s the cause that makes it ironically deafening. she’s done a lot in her life –– all moves carefully calculated, her life one big chess game where she’s always one step ahead, but she doesn’t anticipate this. caring. she’d come to the conclusion that there had been a time and place for it, that it was a closed chapter in her life. she’d accepted it –– that she’d be alone, and she’d be fine, but now she’s not and dusty’s gaze holds her in the most worrying way and she cares.

“ stop worrying so much. ” it comes out a little flatter than it should, but it lacks the annoyed tone her voice takes with anyone else. she’s sure by now they speak the same language; one where affection reads between the lines.  “ i’ll be fine. ”

“ you don’t know that. ”

“ neither do you, so quit acting convinced. ” she gives him a long, hard look before dropping her gaze, index finger dragging across the table in front of her. there’s something divisive in her, two little voices that whisper in her ears. one is the easy route – tuck the concern away, insist she’ll be fine, walk out the door. another one says that she’s smart enough to know a good thing when she sees it, and sometimes good things take work. work she’s not accustomed to since, in any other situation, she doesn’t do reassurance. but she’s never been one to step down from a challenge, even one that sets her outside of her comfort zone, so she sets herself up to bat.  

“ dusty, ” there’s a little sigh that escapes her lips when she moves to him and she swallows hard, eyeing him carefully. “ look at me, ” she waits until he does, “ i’ll be back before you know it and i’ll be just fine. better than fine. ”

“ and the alternative? ”

“ there’s no alternative. ”

“ what happens when you die? what do we do then? ”

“ then i die, dustin. ” it’s abrupt, eyebrows pulling into a tight frown that screams concern more so than confusion. in fact, she’s completely certain about how she feels. “ and the world will still turn and you’ll figure it out. or i’ll figure it out, but we’re not dead yet. ” the balls of her feet rock to carry her the short distance it takes to press a kiss to his cheek and her eyes shut tight because she doesn’t like the thought, either, but she knows this. she’s spent a lot of her own time stuck in the future and all it’s taught her in the end is that no matter how much you plan, no matter how much you try to control your life, nothing goes the way it’s supposed to. sometimes, though, it ends up working in your favour.

like now.