#evay

On an insane sonamy kick today lmao so here have this utter shitpost

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This illustration is a fanart representation created purely for creative expression. I do not claim ownership of the character or any associated intellectual property. All rights are reserved by SEGA. No copyright infringement intended.

A fanfic based on the works of @e-vay.

(This takes place roughly a decade after the events of My Gal.)

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A large figure stood at a small computer monitor. Flooding the screen was a giant cliffside manor, the residence of the retired mad scientist, Dr Eggman. Once known as his evil lair, the location of his schemes and plans for world domination, the building was now simply the resting place of an aging man. Merely a shell and museum of days long gone by. Of hundreds of plans gone awry.

The figure glared at the screen, eyes piercing from his helmet with malice. “Today,” he growled, “It all happens today!”

—-

It was another beautiful day on Bygone Island. Sonic the Hedgehog was relaxing outside on a lawn chair. His wife, Amy Rose, was inside making lunch, and their six-year-old daughter Aurora was playing nearby with her best friend Sage the AI, and her nanny bots, Orbot and Cubot. Things had gotten quiet in the years since Dr Eggman had retired from villainy, and the village had been incident-free for quite some time.

Sonic enjoyed this quiet life. While he enjoyed kicking Eggman’s butt in his younger years, he now found satisfaction and fulfillment in his new life as a husband and father. Still, he had a sinking feeling something wasn’t right. It was like the calm before the storm.

Suddenly, Sage looked concerned. “Please excuse me, Rory,” she stated, “Father requests my assistance urgently.”

“Okay, bye, Sage!” shouted Aurora as Sage disappeared into thin air.

“What does the boss want so suddenly?” Orbot wondered out loud.

“Probably ran out of prune juice again,” Cubot mused. “But he usually has me be his juicer! Did he replace me?!”

“Given that you served him plum juice last time, more than likely,” Orbot observed.

“But they’re the same thing!” Cubot groaned.

It was at that time that Sonic’s wrist communicator buzzed. It was Sage, who had sent him a message. The message read,

“Father is in peril! Send help STAT!”

Sonic’s eyes narrowed. He called inside the house, “Amy dear? Put lunch on hold! We’ve got a poached egg to deal with!”

—-

Within a few minutes, after entrusting Orbot and Cubot with Aurora, Sonic and Amy arrived at Eggman’s manor, to be met by a swarm of attacking robots!

“Eggman hasn’t had robots protecting his lair in years!” Amy shouted as she slammed her hammer into an attacking badnik.

“Yeah, but something’s off!” Sonic observed, smashing several with his spindash moves. “Egghead’s badniks are normally shaped like crabs, wasps, and other creatures! These look like… pickles and ketchup bottles! Has the doc gotten hungrier as he’s gotten older?”

“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out,” Amy declared, “Now help me get this door down!”

“Gladly!” cried Sonic, as he knocked the door to Eggman’s lair down with a particularly powerful homing attack.

Inside, they found the lair dark and rather sinister. It was another red flag, as the lair was often well-lit and full of mechanical life. And there, tied up in a chair, was Eggman, his gray mustache practically glowing in the spotlight shining down on him.

“About time you got here, you miserable rodent!” Eggman grumbled from the chair.

“Father,” scolded Sage, who appeared close by, “That is hardly the way to speak to my bestie’s father.”

“Eh, sorry,” Eggman sighed.

“So, why are ya tied up like that, Eggman?” Sonic inquired, “Wild party at the old folks home last night?”

“Oh, QUITE the party,” said Eggman, “Woke up with a nasty headache, but that’s not why I’m like this!”

“Then what is?” asked Amy.

“I am.”

The deep voice came from the shadows, right behind Eggman. It was followed by cold, shallow breathing that sent chills down the spines of all in the room. Suddenly a large figure hovered into the light, arms crossed and steely eyed! It was a barrel-chested, teal-colored beaver, wearing a Trojan-like helmet, a leather jacket, and a flowing cape.

Sonic and Amy couldn’t believe their eyes. “DAVE THE INTERN?!?!” they cried in unison.

“I’m an intern no more,” Dave growled between heavy breaths. His voice was deeper and richer than it was during his fast food worker days. “Now, I’m in charge, and I say, break time’s over!!! Ha ha ha ha!! AH HA HA HA - HACK!!! ACK!!! URK!!!”

“Here, hun,” said a young adult female bandicoot, carrying a small object in her hands, which she proceeded to give to Dave. “You forgot your inhaler again.”

“Give me that!” grumbled Dave, as he swiped the inhaler out of the bandicoot’s hands and began breathing with it. He then muttered, “Thank you.”

“Perci?!” Amy gasped at the newcomer, “You’re with him?!”

“What can I say? I like a guy who’s handy,” Perci drawled, stroking Dave’s arm flirtatiously. “And this handsome hunk of a man has proven himself VERY handy indeed!”

“I think I just threw up in my mouth,” Eggman said grimacing.

“Alright Dave, enough small talk,” Sonic demanded, “What’s this all about?”

“What’s it about?!” Dave barked, “Revenge! Ever since Meh Burger was shut down by the health inspector, it has given me nothing but time to focus on finally enacting revenge against you, against the village, against everyone who underestimated and mocked me…” he glared at Amy, “…and against the love of my life, who rejected me for an arrogant blue porcupine!”

“What?!” Amy exclaimed, clearly disgusted, “Dave, you’re a nice guy and all, sort of, but there is no way we could work.”

“I nearly threw out my back moving heavy boxes for you!”

“That doesn’t mean squat! By the way, you dropped the box with my porcelain unicorn. You owe me fifty bucks!”

Dave rolled his eyes and placed a fifty dollar bill in Amy’s hand.

“Thank you. Now, if you’re done with the hemming and hawing, I gotta get back to preparing lunch. Come on, Sonic, we’re leaving!”

“No need to tell me twice!” said Sonic.

“Hey! Don’t leave me here!” Eggman yelled from his bonds.

“Nobody’s going anywhere!” Dave demanded. He fired a laser from his glove, causing rubble to block the entrance!

“Alright, enough is enough!” Sonic shouted, and he launched a homing attack towards Dave. Much to the hedgehog’s surprise, his attack was blocked by a reflector shield, sending him flying back down to the ground!

Landing on his feet, Sonic cried out, “Where the heck did that come from?!”

“I invented it to protect myself from French fry grease,” Dave explained, proudly. “Cool, huh?”

“We’re all set, hun,” said another bandicoot girl who looked almost identical to Perci. “The army’s ready for invasion.”

“Staci, you too?!” Amy cried, flabbergasted. “Both of you are… with him?!”

Sonic looked at Dave with disdain. “Dude, that’s kinda messed up.”

“Your best friend dated a plant!” Dave snapped, “I don’t wanna hear it!” Turning to Staci, he ordered, “Send them in!”

“Sure thing, Mr D,” sighed Staci, pressing a nearby button.

“What did you do?!” Sonic demanded.

Dave just smirked. “You better hurry to the village, heroes!” And with that, he grabbed onto Perci’s and Staci’s wrists, and the three of them floated up through a hatch in the ceiling, disappearing out of view.

Suddenly, the voice of Sonic’s best friend, Tails the Fox, called over Sonic’s wrist communicator. “Sonic! We’ve got trouble! Multiple badniks are invading the village! And they’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Grab Knuckles, Sticks, and Rouge!” Sonic commanded. “Tell everyone to take cover, and hurry! Amy and I will join you shortly!” Turning to Amy, he asked, “You ready?”

Amy grinned while grabbing his hand, “You bet!” And the two hedgehogs boosted out of the lair at full speed.

“Seriously?!” Eggman growled, still tied up, “You’re really going to leave without me?! You can’t leave an old man in this condition! The social workers will certainly hear of this!!! Ugh, of all the times for Stone to be on jury duty!” Then, calming down, he asked, “Er, Sage dearie, would you kindly untie your father from these ropes?”

“In a minute, Father,” Sage replied. “First, I must take advantage of the opportunity.”

“Opportunity? For what?!”

“While you are currently immobilized, this is a prime opportunity to enact what Rory calls a ‘makeover’.” Then pulling out a makeup kit, she instructed, “Now please hold still. I do not wish for the mascara to ruin your spectacles.”

Eggman gulped.

—-

Sonic and Amy arrived at the village, where a fierce battle was raging! Tails, Knuckles, Sticks, and Rouge were in the middle of it all, making scrap metal out of the attacking robots.

“Sonic! It’s about time you showed up!” Tails shouted, ramming his wrench into a pickle bot, “These machines are unlike anything I’ve ever seen! It’s like the technology of Eggman mixed with the minimum wage labor of a fast food worker!”

“Yeah, and they look delicious!” shouted Knuckles, who eagerly took a huge bite out of a hamburger-shaped bot… then promptly spit it out. “Blech! But they don’t taste delicious.”

“Careful, Knuckie!” Rouge called, semi-flirtatiously, “You need to watch your cholesterol!”

“I knew it!” Sticks screamed, “The FDA has gone too far! I always knew they would use our food to kill us! It’s every man for himself!!!”

“Either I forgot to pay my restaurant bill again,” Tails observed, “Or this could be the work of-“

“It’s Dave the Intern,” Sonic explained quickly.

“Okay that makes all the sense in the world and simultaneously makes no sense at all,” Tails said.

“Don’t worry, buddy!” Sonic said, “Let’s trash these bots like it’s finally Season 3!”

And so, after a fierce, glorious battle that I SO wish you could’ve seen, our heroes stood in the midst of a pile of busted robot parts.

“Nowhere near as difficult as one of Egghead’s attacks,” Amy observed, “but nothing to sneeze at, either. I’ll give Dave props for that.”

“Phew! I needed the workout!” Sonic said while stretching and punching the air. “Is that the best that fry cook can serve?!”

Suddenly, Sonic’s wrist communicator sounded again, and Orbot’s panicked voice came blaring from it! “New boss? There’s been a situation!”

“Yeah!” cried Cubot from the communicator, “The season finale to ‘La Ultima Pasion’ has been postponed for two whole weeks!”

“But not just that!” cried Orbot, “Miss Rory! Something happened and she—“ But before he could finish, he was cut off by sharp static!

“She what?!” Sonic shouted into the communicator, “What happened to my daughter? Orbot? Orbot?!”

“MAMA! PAPA! HELP!!!!” Aurora’s voice came tearing through the atmosphere, and Team Sonic looked up in horror to see the young girl trapped in the strong arms of a levitating Dave!

“MY BABY!!!!!” Amy screamed in a way only a distraught mother can.

“I told you to stop calling me that!” a grade-school aged Chumley Walrus yelled from far off.

“Everything I ever loved was taken from me,” Dave said coldly as Aurora wriggled desperately, “Now, I’ll take what you love.”

“When I get my hands on you—-!!!” Sonic roared, enraged.

“Hon, forget the child!” Perci called from Dave’s communicator, “We’ve got what we need.”

“No! They need a statement!” Dave said. Then to the heroes, he hissed, “Here’s your one-star review!” And then he took off to the heavens, carrying Sonic and Amy’s terrified daughter in tow!

“Sonic!” Amy cried, “We need to do the croquet maneuver!”

“No we can’t!” Sonic shouted, “I’ll hit Aurora!”

“But we’ve got to do something!”

Meanwhile, up in the sky, Aurora wriggled with all her might to try to free herself.

“Struggle all you want!” Dave grinned maliciously, “I hope you enjoy the title of Unpaid Intern!”

Suddenly, Aurora’s small body began to glow, faintly at first, but quickly growing brighter, and with a sharp cry of “Let! Me! GO!!!!!” She glowed as bright as a lighthouse!

Not anticipating the sudden brightness, Dave let out a shrill cry and loosened his grip on the girl, sending her plummeting down towards earth!

“AAAAAAAAAHH!!!!” Aurora screamed.

Watching the events unfold from below, the villagers gasped in horror!

“Now?!” Amy cried.

“NOW!!!” Sonic yelled, throwing himself into a spin ball!

Amy swung her hammer as hard as she could, sending her husband rocketing towards their daughter! Sonic uncurled just in time to catch Aurora, and the two landed roughly, yet safely into the ground!

“Are you alright, Tiny?” Sonic groaned in pain.

“Mm-hmm,” Aurora whimpered, shaken. “I’m sorry, Papa! That bad man was typin’ on Uncle Tails’ ‘pooter! I tried to stop him, but…” she then started to cry.

Sonic held Aurora close to him. “Shhh, it’s okay, Tiny,” he said softly, “You’re okay. That was not right to try to take that bad man on yourself, but you were very brave. I’m proud of you. Just next time, let the adults, or your nanny-bots, take care of it. Okay.”

Aurora looked up and nodded, “‘Kay.” Holding on tighter, she said, “Love you, Papa.”

“I love you too, Tiny.”

—-

Later, the group of heroes stood around Tails’ computer as he examined it.

“Well, someone has definitely been snooping around,” Tails observed, “But everything seems to be intact. I wonder what Dave wanted?”

“Who knows?” Sticks guessed, “Maybe he wanted embarrassing vacation photos? Maybe he wanted your music files? Maybe he was looking for important information regarding all of us, showing all of our strengths and weaknesses, THE LIKES OF WHICH WOULD CERTAINLY LEAD TO OUR DOOM IN THE WRONG HANDS!!!!”

Silence engulfed the room, followed by a collective, “Naaaah!”

“Well, whatever he was looking for,” Sonic declared, “If he should ever show his face again, we’ll be waiting for him!”

“At least little Rory was able to scare him off!” Knuckles stated.

“Indeed!” Rouge agreed, booping Aurora on the nose, “She’s going to be quite the charming little hero! She’ll be kicking butt in no time—!”

“When she’s an adult!” Sonic and Amy interrupted in unison.

“—when she’s an adult,” Rouge finished, corrected.

“When I’m an adult!” Aurora cried triumphantly, prompting everyone in the room to laugh in awe.

“Heheh, we still have plenty of time before that happens!” Sonic said. “In the meantime… I’m getting kinda hungry. Who wants a burger?” Prompting everyone to laugh harder in agreement.

—-

Alone in his room, Dave stared wearily at a picture frame. The picture was of himself, back in his teenage intern days. Standing next to him was a middle-aged female figure, her head torn out of the picture. Dave sighed. He remembered the day his mother tore her own face out of the picture, being embarrassed to be seen with such an embarrassing excuse of a villain.

He then remembered another awful day. The day when Meh Burger was shut down. He had decided to take matters into his own hands by hacking into the health inspector’s bank account and ruining his credit rating. But as that proved too difficult to do, he did the next best thing and burned the inspector’s house to the ground.

He didn’t expect that the fire would get out of control. Nor that his mother happened to be in the health inspector’s house for tea.

She didn’t make it out.

Dave had fled the scene of the crime, so the blame was pinned on faulty wiring while he got out scot-free, but the consequences of his actions sunk deeper than any jail sentence ever could.

After the fire was put out by Sonic and his friends, nobody cared that the only person Dave ever cared about and desperately tried to please was gone forever. Nobody came to console and check in on him. Hardly anyone even attended the funeral. The only thing that mattered was that those do-gooders had saved the day once again.

It wasn’t fair! Why should the heroes get all the attention? Just because they can spin around and punch their way to glory, does that mean they’re providence’s gift to the world? Of course, why would anyone care about a puny, insignificant fry cook? Does it really matter that he never got to prove himself a worthy super villain to the one person who was his entire world?!

No, of course not.

Nobody cares.

Dave seethed as the memories went roaring through his head. It has taken years to come to this moment, but they would care. They all would. He would make them all care! Soon all eyes would be on him, and those goody-goody attention seekers would be cast to the wayside!

“Here’s the data you requested,” said Perci, holding a flash drive in her hand. “You’re welcome, by the way. Those geniuses made hacking quite the hassle.”

Dave inhaled sharply, then, swiping the flash drive from her hand, he murmured, “Fine, thanks.”

He then inserted the drive into a nearby computer, and before long, files began filling the screen. Files containing important information regarding both Eggman and the heroes, showing all of their strengths and weaknesses, the likes of which would certainly lead to their doom in the wrong hands!

“Vengeance is mine, Sonic the Hedgehog!” Dave declared, “And no one, not you, not your friends, nor even your glowstick of a daughter, will be able to stop me! Soon all the world will know the name of… CHEZ DAVID!!!! GAHAHAHAHA - Hack! Cough! Ugh! (Inhale) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!”

I'm sry I was gone , my account was terminated but Super Tumblr came to the rescue🥹🙏 .

Aaaannddddd I have some sonamy for u ;

These are the QUICKEST doodles I've ever made I promise most of my art is really good and slay!!!