#evans!reader

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HIS HANDS WERE EVERYWHERE. On your hips, on your back, on your bum —sometimes trying to reach your breasts. His lips were soft, oh so soft you'd bet you could fall asleep while kissing him, or while he was kissing you. Your hands were placed on his hair —messy thanks to you. He hums as you pull it.

Supposedly you were going to study for potions, this subject was hard for both of you so you decided to have a fun study date together, with chocolate and candy canes and maybe some hot chocolate as well.

It started when you were reading over your notes and you could feel Remus's stare over you; seconds later his hand had found your thigh and his chin was resting over your shoulder.

“I think we've studied enough, you know?”. Quite ironic coming from him, the same boy who would starve himself if it meant getting an O on everything (or at least the majority of his classes) was one telling you to stop studying. Ironic really.

“I still don't get it, Rem”. You sighed, your eyes closing momentarily as you felt Remus' hands wander over your legs, coming up from your knee to your upper thigh and to your knee again. His soft lips slightly kissing your left shoulder, it felt so good. You let yourself dive into the pleasure your boyfriend is giving you. How his long fingers pressed against you, his hot breath against you. Maybe you could study later— no! He was distracting you that sick bastard! But it felt so good.

“We could study later” he kissed your neck slightly sucking on it “or tomorrow” he kissed right behind your ear, you sighed “we could always just copy Snape's notes” you laughed, not because of the kisses but because of the mention of Severus on this intimate moment.

“I—. . . Should I be jealous that you think about Severus when we are kissing” he laughed, his nose digging into your neck, softly biting you shoulder.

“I am so sorry you had to find out this way, love” he kissed your cheek “—but Snivellus now owns my heart” you laughed throwing your head against Remus' shoulder. He kissed you, softly, so softly you could get lost in it.

“you are so stupid, Lupin” you giggled and so did he, his hands leaving your legs and embracing you in a tight hug, your noses slightly grazing each other as he smiled at you, so lovingly, so lost and that dazed feeling took over your head, the pressure in your chest that expanded into a warm wave of love, passion and joy all over your body, you couldn't get luckier, not when this man was in front of you smiling as if you were the last chocolate on his collection. You couldn't get enough of this man. And that's how you ended in this situation, both your tongues fighting as he moved you slightly over his lap. Sighs came out of his mouth as you grazed his growing erection and you chuckled at this. He took your shirt leaving you in your yellow brassier.

His kisses left your mouth and travelled to your cleavage where he sucked and licked until he was satisfied. He reached for your tits, and one of his hands cupped one as the other brought you closer to his body. He sucked on the upper part uncovered by your brassier.

Lost in the pleasure he was giving you, you did not notice when someone walked into your dorm. When Lily Evans walked into your dorm.

“you won't believe what that git Potter just told me!” her back was turned away from you and Remus, giving you time to compose yourself, “he told me— what in God's name smells like that? Honey have you been smo—. . . ew! No! What in the fuck!”. Lily screamed when she saw you both, your neck covered in hickeys, Remus' hair messy from your hands. She turned around, trying to give the both of you some privacy.

“First Marlene and Dorcas and now you two! What a fucking luck I have. . . Luckiest fucking gyal in the entire wizarding fucking world” she was rambling.

Remus chuckled at your poor attempt at buttoning your his shirt “why so surprised Evans? This is a common encounter between two people who loved each other. Of course you wouldn't know about that” you glared at him and he only shrugged his shoulders, a sly smirk on his face. . . What a handsome face.

“Fuck you Lupin”. She said “every day that passes I convince myself more that you should not be dating my sister” Remus laughed when Lily rolled her eyes, such a common encounter between there and it would be funny to watch if it wasn't for that state both you and Remus were moments prior.

“Lils” you called her, driving her attention to you once again. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at you.

“what?” she said “this is my dorm too” you could feel Remus' amusement of the whole interaction.

“Lils,” you said again, emphasising her name, moving your head slightly towards yours and Remus' body, he smiled innocently when her disgusted look made contact with his eyes. She rolled her eyes and left with a “fine” while closing the door.

Remus laughed, one of his large hands grabbing you by the waist as he placed you again on his lap, he held you firmly. Guess studying will come tomorrow, or maybe later, you could always ask Lily for Severus' notes anyways.

☁︎☘︎♧︎︎︎

Your love for Taylor Swift's music was more than just a casual fan's adoration. Her songs had been the soundtrack to many of your memorable moments. When the opportunity to see her in concert came, you couldn't have been more excited. 

Your father, knowing your passion for Taylor's music, had a surprise in store for you.

The day finally arrived, and you found yourself dressed in an Eras Tour worthy dress. Between the glitter on your face, sparkles in your hair, and rhinestones all throughout your outfit, you were totally ready to experience the concert of a lifetime. 

Chris, however, did not meet the standards of appearance for this sort of occasion. 

"Dad, you'll look like an idiot wearing just a t-shirt!" you explained. 

"Y/N love, it's literally a Taylor Swift t-shirt," he countered, making you realize exactly what the problem was. 

"Maybe it's not the shirt, but it's the lack of pizazz! Luckily for you, your daughter is an expert in that department! Follow me!" You say as you drag your father toward where all you store your makeup. 

"Nope, not happening" he laughed as he realized where you were taking him. 

"Pleaseeeee" you begged, knowing he can't ever be against what you want. "It's the experience of a lifetime, we need to go all out!!" 

"Sorry but I don't think I need glitter on my face, the t-shirt is enough." his response surprised you, knowing that he's never lasted this long saying no to you.

Thank goodness you have a final trick up your sleeve that has a 100% success rate so far. 

"If you won't do it for Taylor fucking Swift, do it for your beloved daughter!" which makes Chris groan, but only for a moment before he reluctantly agrees, and gives into to your request.

So there you are, using a spray glitter bottle in your dad's hair, with the sparkly 13 you had drawn on his hand. 

You stared out the window of the classroom, enjoying the lovely pitter-pattering of the rain on the glass that was, much to your delight, drowning out the teacher. You had woken up with a severe headache that morning and were in no mood for classes, let alone Ancient Ruins with a ghost teacher. You had in no way, shape, or form, any need for-

“Miss. Evans.” Your head turned to the teacher who was, along with the rest of the class, staring at you. “Care to translate?” He motioned to the board which the class had begun to decode.

“Sure. ‘To everyone who wishes death in some form or another, drink from a goblet which has no master’.” He stared at you with a nearly angry face.

“That is correct.” he spoke through his gritted, transparent, teeth. “Please try and pay attention from now on.”

“Of course, sir. But, as you have just seen, I have been paying perfect attention the entire time. Please continue on with this painfully exciting lesson.” He stared at you for a moment more before gritting his teeth again and continuing on with the lesson. You turned your attention back out the window, blocking out his lesson yet again.

Lily, your twin sister, caught up to you at lunch and started to ask how classes had been going in her own cherry way that made you want to hurl. You were not the typical Evans. You were not a goody goody twinkle toes like Petunia. You were not a sweet flower like Lily, you were just you. Your family referred to you as the “Biker” which was weird because you had no interest in leather or motorcycles or teasing your hair up to atrocious heights. You had no clue why no one would let you just be, ever. You were a tired anit-social introvert who got social anxiety that resulted in you being overly sarcastic and awkward. Lily, was your opposite and was completely oblivious. Well, you couldn’t take it that day. No you most certainly could not.

“Lily! Just shut up! Please! I just lived my entire day, I don’t need to recite it to you! Christ all mighty woman!” She stared at you, taken aback by your sudden outburst. She opened her mouth to say something but the only thing that came out was:

“Oh.” After a moment more she mumbled an apology and walked away glumly. You felt bad. You had never yelled at your sister before. You had never yelled at anyone before. You barely ever spoke three words unless you had to, class that day being the exception. You were just so tired of everyone being on your case.

“A bit harsh, Evans don’t you think?” You turned and stared at your tormentor. A true “Biker” in your opinion. Or, technically “Greaser”. I mean, seriously, the shine on his hair from how greasy it was was truly a feat you had no idea how he managed.

“Shove off, Black.”

“Oh,” he said dramatically. “The hurtfulness of the words! How will I ever be able to move on?” You grounded your teeth and stared at him, hating how short you were. You blew a strand of brown hair from your eyes, getting your looks from your dad and not your mom.

“I said, shove off. I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh? And what's this? She knows more words than just ‘shove off, Black’?”

Sirius Black. Your tormentor since first year. You had no idea how the stupid little rivery started between the two of you, nor did you care. You hated him with all of your being, more than you hated most people.

You raised your middle finger at him and brushed past him. He scoffed.

“Best you got, Evans?” He mocked.

“Figured your hair was disgrace enough. Don’t need me to say anything to embarrass you when you got that mop on your head!” You shouted back. That got him to shut up and you scurried to the owlery to meet with Henry, you beautiful brown horned owl.

You scratched your owl’s head and he gladly rubbed his head against your palm with an affectionate and grateful hoot. You laughed lightly and sniffled, shoving the tears off of your face. You placed your head against his and took a breath in and out, composing yourself. The anxiety bubbling back down from the day’s attention.

“Well well well. What do we have here?” You froze at his voice. Had I forgotten to mention your other tormentor. Or rather, group of tormentors? “Little Evans and her stupid little owl.” Lucius said. You heard Bellatrix cackle behind you and a few more snickers. How many were there today?

“Heard you were a bit mouthy today, love.” Bella said, walking around you. She was so close you felt her breath on her neck and it caused a chill to run down your spine.

“Please leave me alone,” you whispered. Another cackel cut through the air and you jumped. Your owl screeched as a means of trying to protect you.

“Aw, Mr. Owl wants to protect his little bitch?”

“Leave him out of this!” You yelled. Getting protective of the only good thing you had ever had.

You felt a hand grab your hair and yank you backwards. You yelled as you fell back onto Lucius Malfoy.

“What did you say to me? Are you giving us orders?” You swallowed and before you could say anything, your owl lunged at Lucius and attacked.

He dropped you as a means to protect his face but the sound he let out let you know that Henry had gotten his target. Lucius had a small scratch on his face beside his eyes that had begun to bleed.

“You stupid beast!” he yanked out his wand and before you could do anything he shouted out his curse. “Petrificus Totalus!” He shouted. Your lovely brown bird dropped mid-flight and hit the floor with a thunk.

“Henry!” You yelled and began to crawl to him, only to be dragged backwards by your hair.

“Teach you and your stupid beast to mock me.” He grumbled and threw you against the wall of the tower. You felt something wet drip down your neck.

Is it raining out?

Your ears were ringing loudly.

Who's ringing bells?

And your vision was blurred and fuzzy all over.

“Get her Lucius!” Bella shouted and you felt a sharp pain in your side. You let out a noise that didn’t sound quite human, or animal for that matter. You saw your bird, his brown feathers and beautiful wings spread out and frozen in their place.

You let out another whine as he abused your body more. Where you had no idea. It all hurt at this point that it was impossible to pinpoint a designated spot.

“Hey!” Someone shouted. The abuse stopped, but your body still throbbed mercilessly. You heard footsteps and people talking, but you couldn’t make anything out. All you could focus on was how tired you had gotten and how badly your body ached.

Why was it hiring again?

“Hey.” someone said again and you felt someone gently grab your face, causing you to whine and try to pull away, but they wouldn’t let you. They just turned your face to get a different perspective. You whined and tried to pull away again.

“Prongs!” You heard them shout, making you cry out in pain. Your head spun. “Sorry. I’m sorry. You’re going to be f-”

“Henry.”

“What?”

“H-henry. My-my owl. Get him first. Is-is he ok?”

“Your a bit more hurt than-”

“Please.” You cried. “Please he’s my-he’s my only friend. Please get him first. Please.” He was silent for a moment and more footsteps made their way up the tower stairs. “Please… you whispered.

“Ok… ok.”

The noises coming from the owlery were not ones that should be and they were just the ones that made Sirius Black pick up his pace just slightly. Remus and James were waiting for him at the bottom. A five second trip was definitely going to take a bit longer.

He rounded the corner to find a mess of white hair focused on something on the ground. A mess of curly black hair egging him on. And three more stooges from the Slytherin house snickering in the corner watching it all happen. An owl was laid out frozen on the ground but he paid no attention to that.

“Hey!” Lucius froze and gave one more swift kick before looking over his shoulder and smirking.

“Well. If it isn’t Si-Ah!” Sirius yanked him away from whoever he was kicking and threw him towards the door. His dear cousin yelled at him but he just glared at her and the rest of them.

Lucius pulled himself off the ground and brushed off his clothes.

“Let's go. He’s not worth our time.” Lucius grumbled and scurried off. The Slytherins all glared at Sirius but left.

Sirius turned to see who it was they were bullying. The figure lying on the floor, bruised and bloodied, caused him to freeze. Y/N Evans.

He rushed to her and knelt down tilting her head so that he could get a better look at her face. Even worse than what he had originally thought. The sight caused him to cringe.

“Prongs!” He shouted. She cried out, loudly, and he froze before profusely apologizing. “You’re going to be f-”

“Henry,” she said weakly, making his insides twist. How badly had they beaten her?

“H-henry. My-my owl. Get him first. Is-is he ok?”

“Your a bit more hurt than-”

“Please.” She cried. “Please he’s my-he’s my only friend. Please get him first. Please.” Sirius stayed quiet for a moment. He swallowed and just stared at her. “Please…” she whispered desperately.

“Ok… ok.” He said. James had arrived at the stairs and ran to the two of them.

“What happened?” He asked, Remus right behind him.

“Not quite sure. Come on.” He lifted up Y/N and she groaned again.

“Henry.” Sirius sighed and shook his head.

“And bring the damn bird,” he grumbled.

You woke up in the infirmary, god only knows how long later. It was dark now, so you definitely missed lunch. It would explain why your stomach was doing flips.

Your body ached all over, inside and out. You sat up, holding a groan in as you looked around the room. Well, as much of the room as you could see. The white sheets separated your section from the other patients’.

It was completely silent in the room. Well, except for someone’s breath right next to you. You looked over to see the one, the only, Sirius Orion Black sleeping in the chair right next to you. You stared at him for a moment and opened your mouth to say something (like you would have) when you heard someone clear their throat in front of you.

You looked to the opening of your section to see Madame Pomfrey standing there with her cart. She looked you up and down before looking to Sirius.

“You have a good friend there, you know.” You stared at her, slightly confused. She walked in, pulling the cart with her. “He refused to leave until you woke up. Poor thing must have fallen asleep waiting for you.” She hesitated and looked at you very seriously. “Don’t tell anyone I said that. I have a reputation to uphold, I trust you understand that Miss. Evans.”

“Why did he stay? What even happened? I-I don’t remember-”

“He came in here with his friends, Potter and Lupin, carrying you and an owl. The owl was easy to fix, he’s resting back in the owlery, you on the other hand were a bit of a challenge.”

“But I still-”

“You were severely beaten by one of your classmates, it appears. Mr. Black was kind enough to bring you in. I told him that you would be fine but he was quite insistent that he stayed until he knew you were better. I’m surprised he’s stayed as long as he has. On second thought-”

“How long was I out for?”

“Three days.” Your eyes went wide.

“Three-but I-how?”

“Much blunt force to your head. But you are healing nicely.” You looked over to Sirius who was slouching uncomfortably in the hard chair.

“Why did he stay?”

“As I said Miss. Evans, you have a good friend. Or are you-”

“No.” You answered, still staring at him. “No we aren’t.”

“Hm,” she hummed, checking you over. “Well, I would reevaluate the situation if I were the two of you.”

The wounds she was worried about were fine for the evening. She told you to get some rest and she would recheck you in the morning. When she left, though, you didn’t fall asleep. All you could do was stare at your tormentor and wonder why. Why was he still here? Why did he save you from Malfoy and his pack? Just why?

It was just breaking dawn when Sirius started to stir. You had been preparing yourself for what you were going to do when he woke. You were going through your options and finding a nice way to thank him and ask all your questions. But by no means were you prepared to speak with him so quickly!

His eyes opened and you stared at the stormy ones with a blank mind. It took him a minute to register that you were awake. He shot up from his chair.

“Y/N!” He was so loud it made your head spin. “Are you ok? How do you feel? What has Madame Pomfrey-”

“Why are you here?” you asked bluntly, cringing at the way it came out. He opened his mouth a few times before sinking back into his seat.

“I-I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He stuttered. You couldn’t believe it. You had never heard anything but confidence in his voice, but now? Pain? Hurt? Worry? Unsureness? This was not the Sirius Black you had grown to hate.

You swallowed and shifted under his gaze. It was heavy. So heavy. Heavier than the canoe your uncle made you carry last summer to the lake.

“I’m fine.”

Why were your words so harsh? What was wrong with you?

You watched as he slunk back into himself further.

“Well then I guess-” he stood and panic took over your body. “I’ll leave.” He cleared his throat and pushed his hair back. You stared at the mop. Less greasy than it had been. There was no shine, it was instead like the night sky. Pitch black. So black nearly blue. It was actually mesmerizing. Naturally bouncy.

He had bags under his eyes and unease in his posture.

What was wrong with you?

He waited a second for you to say something but you never did. He hung and shook his head glumly before leaving the area. All you could do was watch him go. None of your questions answered and guilt was coursing through your entire body.

You were discharged a week later. Lily brought you your school work while you were in the hospital, but never really said much else. She still must not have gotten over when you had yelled at her, which you felt terrible about.

But now, freshly out of the infirmary, you were determined to set things right with her and Sirius. Although, you had been saying that for days now.

One day you tried to apologize when she had come to give you your work. It didn’t exactly go according to plan.

“Here is transfigurations, potions, herbology, and divinations. If you have any questions or need any help-”

“Lily, I’m sorry.” She paused and looked up from her folder.

“Sorry?”

“Uh yeah.”

“Sorry for what, Y/N/N?” You swallowed.

“For snapping at you, the other day. At lunch?”

“I remember. I’m not mad at you, Y/N/N.”

“You're not?”

“Not for that.” You stopped and stared at her.

“Then for what-”

“I’m upset that I had to find out that my twin sister has anxiety from someone other than herself.”

“You-”

“Know? Yes. I know, Y/N. Why didn’t you ever tell me? Did you feel like you couldn’t? I just… I don’t understand.” You stared at her for a moment, not knowing how to respond. Your heartbeat sounded in your ears and your breathing became restricted a little.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Lily just shook her head and sighed. Almost like she expected you to say nothing.

“Listen, Y/N, I’m your sister. Twin sister. Does that not mean anything to you? At all? You're supposed to be able to tell me everything. So, yeah, I’m a little hurt that I had to hear this from Sirius.”

“Sirius?”

“Yes.”

“Sirius Black?”

“No, Y/N. Sirius Dawson. Yes, Sirius Black! Why? Did you swear him to secrecy? I didn’t even know you two talked.”

“We… we don’t.” She looked at you, staring for a few minutes.

“Oh.” She stayed silent and looked down. “I… well… I’ll talk to you when you get out. At James’ game, maybe? On Sunday.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” She smiled and squeezed your leg. Then she got up and left.

The first stop you made, on this particularly snowy Saturday, was to the owlery. Henry came flying over to you the second you stepped foot in the tower. He hooted and rubbed his head under your own. You giggled and scratched under his chin.

“Miss me, did you buddy?” He hooted again and you walked over to the balcony to look over the snowy scene of the Hogwarts grounds. “Look what I brought you.” You unraveled the nut and seed cake you had in your pocket and held it up to him. Henry hooted happily and started to peck away at his treat. You laughed and set him on the banister alongside the cake.

The two of you sat in silence as you stared out at the scene. Henry pecked away happily and you sat there miserable. The gears in your head spinning faster and faster as you thought more about what Lily said.

You weren’t surprised Lily didn’t know that you had anxiety. You were surprised that Sirius knew. And even more surprised to hear that he had told Lily. Why? In defense of you? You didn’t understand.

Henry hooted before flying off the edge and to someone behind you. You never saw him do that to anyone but you before. To say you were a bit jealous that he left his cake unfinished to see whoever had walked in would be an understatement. But then you turned around.

He climbed the stairs up and up to the owlery. He came at the same time every day since Y/N had gotten hurt. Henry was a very dependent and protective creature. When Sirius came the first day, he was a mess. A flurry of feathers and in such a tizzy. Since he recognized him as one of the good guys from when she got attacked, he flew immediately to his shoulder. Since then, Henry greeted Sirius each time he came to visit, each time more friendlier than the last.

Today was no different. As usual, Henry flew immediately to his shoulder and nuzzled the side of his face in greeting. Sirius chuckled and rubbed his head. He started to walk to the balcony when he noticed that today was different. Someone was standing there watching him.

You were standing there watching him.

He swallowed and the two of you stared at each other awkwardly.

“Hi.” He said when he finally found his voice again. He was so relieved to see that you were alright. You didn’t like him, he knew that. He knew why, too. He just didn’t know how to change that. The sad fact in it all was that he loved you. He had always loved you and he knew he would continue to always love you.

“H-hi.” You said, he felt his heart skip a beat. Your voice was quiet and you were fidgeting with your hands. Merlin, you were perfect.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, slowly walking over to you.

“Fine, I guess.” You answered, scratching the back of your neck. You began to fidget and Sirius could tell you were about to run. He couldn't have that. He couldn't let you leave him again. He shouldn't have left the last time, he knew that and he regretted it.

You took a step and he jumped in front of you without a plan in mind. You jumped back, startled by his sudden movement. He backed down when he noticed how he reacted and caused you to receive even further.

“Uh, sorry. I just-I want to make sure you are fine. Completely fine, and all.”

“Um… Yeah. I-I’m fine.” The silence returned as Sirius waited. He didn’t want to push you to talk, but he was a bit desperate to speak with you. He had avoided you for an agonizing week. A whole week! Well, sort of. He would often sneak into the hospital wing in the dead of night when everyone, including you, were asleep. Not like a creep like he knew it sounded, he was just worried. He always was.

From day one he had noticed your anxiety, both him and Regulus suffered from it, in different ways but still suffered from it. When he noticed your closed figure and down cast eyes first year he knew immediately that you were not ok. He had tried to be nice to you, to ease you a little bit, but nothing he did worked. It all backfired on him. And I mean all I mean ALL. Everything he would say came out wrong and every gesture he did simply made you more uncomfortable. Some time around 3rd year everything turned hostile. Your anxiety had gotten worse and instead of just shrinking away you had a tongue that was sharper than a knife. For some reason, this drew him in even more. He had no idea what had caused the switch in you, but he could tell you had become worse from when you had left Hogwarts. Ever since then, he had watch you closely, occasionally teasing you since that was the only way he could get any sort of interaction with you.

“Sirius-” He looked at you with wide eyes eager to hear what you had to say, but you stopped, leaving your mouth open. He waited. “How… How did you know about my anxiety?”

He swallowed.

“And more importantly, why did you tell Lily?” He was silent and now you waited.

“Lily was… well, she was hurt by your reaction and wouldn’t stop… um…”

“Complaining?” He hesitated but nodded. You sighed.

“I… I got tired of listening to it and snapped, I guess. She didn’t have a response.”

“You stood up for me?” He nodded. “Why?”

“Uh…”

“Why would you stand up for me against my sister and the Slytherins? Why help me to the Hospital wing and insist on staying until I wake up. Why sneak in when you think I’m sleeping?”

“You know about that?”

“Do you know how impossible it is to sleep on those beds?” you smirk. He let a crooked smile lift the corner of his mouth. “But, honestly, Sirius, why?”

“I…” He cleared his throat and itched the back of his head, looking away. Was that blush you saw on his cheeks? “I just was worried about you.”

“Why? You don’t like me.” His head shot up, eyes wide with panic which startled you.

“That's not true.”

“It-its not?”

“No.”

“But all the bullying and…”

“It's the only way I could get any sort of attention from you.” You furrowed your eyebrows, itching your hand. He could see the skin about to open, so he grabbed your hand making you jump. He placed it at your side and let go. “Listen, Y/N. I like you. I understand that you probably don’t like me. But, I had no idea how to get any sort of attention from you. I never did anything out of malice, even though it sounded like it. Honestly, I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You swallowed not knowing if you should believe him or not.

“I would like it if we could be friends, Y/N. I know what you’re going through. The anxiety.. Maybe I could help you?” You bit your lip. Should you trust him? You had never trusted anyone like this before.” Please. Give me a chance to make things right.”

You nodded and he let out a breath, one he didn’t know he had been holding. He wouldn’t mess this up. He couldn’t. Not for anything in the world.