#eunseoksimp

cooking up a very delicious enemies to kinda enemies with benefits sohee fic where he high key hates you but his dick doesn’t and the tension is so nasty.

i debated for a long time whether i even wanted to make an official statement/write something on here about the situation, and kept going back and forth between deleting my words and rewriting them.

i’ve loved riize since the moment the members were first introduced to us and i found out that sungchan and shotaro, who i loved dearly in nct, were part of the lineup. each member carved out a special place in my heart, and i’ll always cherish the happiness and comfort they brought me during certain periods of my life. i’ve never explicitly spoken about my race on this blog before, but as a black fan who is unfortunately used to seeing kpop idols and fandom spaces show little to no regard for black fans, i genuinely felt safe being a briize. of course, we do not know any of these people personally, but until now, i was never made to feel unsafe or unwelcome in this fandom.

so imagine my shock when i opened tiktok and saw the man i claimed as my bias, the person who inspired this entire tumblr blog, whose face is my profile picture and whose name is literally part of my username, use language like that.

i don’t even want to get into debates about whether people think the word was “not that offensive” or “not directed at black people” or “has a different meaning.” at the end of the day, it was still the use of a derogatory and demeaning term associated with darker skin, and hearing that was honestly heartbreaking for me. because if he thinks that way about his own skin, skin that is significantly lighter than mine, then naturally my mind begins to spiral into wondering what he must think about people who actually look like me. about his black fans. about darker-skinned fans in general.

and maybe some people won’t understand why this affects me so deeply, but growing up dark-skinned meant spending years of my life being bullied, mocked, and made to feel lesser because of my complexion. it meant developing insecurities so deeply rooted that i refused to do vip or send-offs at kpop concerts because a part of me was terrified of being perceived negatively the second these idols saw my skin up close. and seeing this situation unfold honestly felt like one of my worst fears being realised in real time.

it’s painful, and it carries a lot of weight for me emotionally right now. i genuinely almost gave up entirely on this account and the idea of continuing to write for riize at all. i will never compromise my morals, my happiness, or my self-worth for any kpop idol, and i will always stand firmly by that.

with that being said, i can’t really give a definitive answer right now regarding the future of this blog. i’ve definitely halted all writing and wips involving eunseok, and i honestly do not feel comfortable writing for him at the moment. maybe that feeling will change with time, maybe it won’t, i genuinely don’t know. as for the other members, i think i just need to take things day by day for now.

i’m also aware that my username and profile picture still being centred around him might make it seem like i’ve already forgiven him or moved on from the situation, but completely redoing my entire blog theme and identity is honestly very low on my list of priorities right now.

happy new year to all of you guys!!!

i’ve been away for so long now (who’s surprised though), and i’ve only recently started getting back into writing. i’ve seen all of your comments and reposts and requests and i’m so grateful to each and every one of you <3

the past few weeks have been super busy for me, but as you can see i’ve got a couple things in my drafts waiting to be completed this year.

tee | she/her | 22 ('03)

about my work

ׂ╰┈➤ a journey into the complex labyrinth of the human mind, delving into the intricate dance between passion and pain. this space uncovers the shadowy corners of romance, where love's beauty often intertwines with its darker, more unsettling side. through these explorations, the mysteries of desire, obsession, and the human condition are unraveled, shedding light on the depths that few dare to tread.

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★ this blog contains content intended for mature audiences only (18+). the themes explored here often delve into dark and intense topics, including manipulation, gaslighting, obsession, and mental illness.

hey anon,

thanks for letting me know! it seems like tumblr had made all of my links invalid. it's taken me a few days but i've finally changed all links and updated my masterlist too :)

also a slight heads up that i will be inactive (not like i've ever been super active) till august due to some super important exams i have coming up, and i won't be able to write or work on anything for now. i might log in once in a while though, but definitely no posting.

that being said, i am hoping to complete and upload overdose vol 2 by september latest so fingers crossed.

— 🦌

hi my love, thank you for bringing it to my attention, i’ve just fixed it now :)

✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)