It's absolutely hilarious to me how unhinged Apollo's love life is because on one hand he's this dashing young god being so doting and loving and kind - he's sooooo soft with Euadne, he has a gigantic polycule with the Muses, he goes head over heels for Cyrene, turns her into a naiad and gifts her a whole new city, he turns his girlfriend's sisters into goddesses so they can escape their abusive father before wingmanning Rhoio herself - all extremely sweet things.
AND THEN, you have his other lovers - one literally wept himself into a tree because he accidentally killed a sacred deer (I'm sorry, but this is so funny to me. Just imagine Pandu and Dasaratha inviting Kyparrissos into the blind-shooting club and going, "heeeyyy, you're one of us!! :D "), another dies because he is boinked by a flying frisbee from Apollo's own hands (in some cases because a very jealous wind god felt left out of a potential polycule?), a third escapes death because Apollo double dares the very drunk Fates (what.) and then sends his extremely mortal and extremely harassed half brother to fight literal death so his boyfriend slash past master won't be sad?? And he gets away with it?? Also, there is whatever that is happening with Melia but somehow even after her brother actually burns Apollo's temple, he is like "dw love, I'll still make you a goddess :P" Then he kills her brother.
Also in exactly one (1) story he impregnates a woman as a snake??? By just coiling around her? Even though he is human-like in every other case? Did he get inspired by his dad?? WHY??
Meanwhile the most popular story about the actual Greek god of love is that his girlfriend and his mother had the biggest saas-bahu quarrel to ever exist where he is involuntarily masquerading both as a unhappy son and an actual monster, and they emerged on the other side a happy family.
Like... okay. The greeks had one blorbo and they stuck to it.
