#etddivine

The dining table was crammed into the entryway between the stairs and the front door, somewhere more for guests than for the Bryan family. There was a table in the kitchen that they usually ate at but Ria’s mom had been on a family unity kick, that’s why they were even having dinner together in the first place. Ria hoped that her mom moved onto something else soon, maybe that anti-sugar thing that took over her mind every couple of months, because she hated sitting around the table. They all barely had anything in common so it was silent most of the time.

Ria ate her pasta quickly, school lunch was terrible so she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. The pasta was good, red sauce that wasn’t spicy, box pasta that wasn’t overcooked. But the green cushions on the chairs were cold and the atmosphere at the table awkward in a suffocating way. Ria definitely wasn’t getting seconds.

“Do you need a ride to the tournament on Saturday?” Ria’s dad asked her brother.

“No,” Samuel responded, “Lin and I are doing a carpool, she’s picking everyone up.”

Their dad nodded and everyone continued eating their meal in silence. Their dad because he was thinking of work, their mom because she was tired from work, Samuel because he was thinking of the tournament, and Ria because she just didn’t have anything to say.

“Have y’all finished your homework?” their mom asked?

Samuel responded yes immediately, like it was an insult to ask him. While Ria took another forkful of pasta and realized that she had never in her life said ya'll. 

“Have you?” her mom asked again.

Ria thought about how to phrase it, “I just have history left.”

Her mom shook her head, “You need to be more proactive, you can’t do extra credit if you don’t do all your homework. If you work harder this semester you can get all As, colleges will be looking at your grades Ria.”

Her dad joined in but Ria wasn’t listening, she had become a master at tuning out lectures. In middle school it had been get better grades, join the debate team, join the soccer team, you need to prepare for college. And now in highschool it’s been get better grades, do more volunteer work, join an honor society, prepare for college. When the lecture ended, with Samuel saying nothing, Ria nodded and said that she would work harder. She finished dinner, not too fast, she didn’t want them to think she was mad at them, and then went upstairs. Her parents thought that she was going to do the rest of her homework, but she had already resolved to do it in the morning. Her parents berating her had already provided her the perfect excuse not to do her homework.

Instead she plopped down on her bed and started scrolling through Instagram. I got to see the pattern in who she was following then. Models, students, hiking pages, along with a lot of flower arrangers. That made a lot of sense, Ria cared a lot about her appearance and even though she hated doing her homework she wished that she was a better student. And while she wasn’t on instagram she was hiking through the woods behind her house, looking for flowers she thought was neat. 

Between the study inspo and the delicate vases of flowers Ria came upon one of her favorite influencers. A girl, a senior in highschool in fact, living in New York City. She was holding up a college acceptance letter, several in fact. Columbia, Harvard, Yale, this girl was definitely Ivy League. “Guess my hard work is paying off lol, don’t worry with a little dedication I’ll see you guys there soon!”

This caption put Ria over the edge. She didn’t throw her phone across the room, her parents wouldn’t pay if she broke it, but she closed the app and put it down slowly. Head on her knees she started laughing, those angry, jealous, emotional tears were running down her face.

“Hard work?” Ria yelled just quiet enough that her family wouldn’t hear her, “Hard work? Bitch your parents are engineers, you live in New York City and you’re skinny as fuck. Hard work? Give me a fucking break! If I could just, if I just had....”

Ria was crying too much to rage anymore, her envy at the Instagram girl and her anger at her own poor performance spilling over into just pure emotion. 

I had been keeping track of her for a while and I had decided that it was time for us to make our deal. She was bunched up on her bed so I manifested a form I thought she would like and came up behind her, brushing her shoulders in a way that I hoped was reassuring. Ria turned around quickly, as anyone might turn around when someone touched them when they thought they were alone. 

Finding no one behind her, Ria just faced forward again and was about to continue crying. And she almost did, until she saw me. Ria didn’t cry out immediately, I had a calming effect on people by design, instead while I studied her up close she studied me. Watching people on the metaphysical plane was nice but it tended to blur out some of the color, some of the details of looking at people with eyes. Now that I was actually standing in front of her I could see that her long curly wig was dirty blonde, and her eyeliner was running. She sniffled and tried to clean up her smudged lip-gloss, taking all of me in. My form was a bunch of Instagram models that Ria had seen with skin darker than hers and short curly black hair. Ria started playing with her hair, and I laughed. It was adorable that she found me attractive. 

I sat down on the foot of her bed and smiled, “What if you could.”

The mixture of her attraction to me and my natural calming factor was working wonders, “Could what?”

“If you could have that, if you could do that, if you could be that?” I asked her, “What would you do then?”

Ria sniffled but I think she got it, “I would relax.”

Relax, she wanted to relax. I resisted the urge to smirk. If she wished to relax then there would be a lot of room to play around with that. Have her sleep forever, in a coma that is, like sleeping beauty? Or maybe I could just kill her and take her soul that way. After all death is eternal rest. 

“I can give you that, you’ll be able to relax as long as you want.” 

Ria thought for a second then shook her head, “I don’t want to just relax, I want to be able to relax. To not have to work hard, to just be able to relax and still excel in life. I don’t want to have to break myself in order to succeed.”

I cocked my head a bit, “But working hard gets you what you want in life, you need to work hard in order to succeed.”

“Do you think half the millionaires in this world worked hard!?” Ria exploded, “Why do they get to relax and have everything while I need to. I need to work 10 times as hard in order to just get a fraction of what they have! Mom works 50 hours a week and I never see Dad during the day.” Ria’s tears were hot and free flowing by this point. I scooted closer to her and rubbed her back a bit, “Samuel never has time to hike with me anymore, he says he needs to constantly be practicing in order to be captain of the chess team. And the only thing Jonathan can say about law school is how little he sleeps nowadays.”

I could infer that Jonathan was her oldest brother, already in law school while his little siblings were still in highschool. I wondered what the story was about that. Ria dissolved into tears, tears for her family that didn’t have time for her anymore, tears for her parents that were working hard for a daughter that didn’t want to, and tears for her siblings that were missing out on life.

She leaned into my chest, she must have been really sad. From what I understood the targets normally didn’t let their guards down that much.

“I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” she whispered, “I wish I could but I can’t. Mom always tells me to work hard and Dad is already suggesting majors to me. I don’t want to be the disappointment, that’s why I still get As, but I can’t keep doing this.”

“Tell me what you want, Ria.” I whispered into her ear, I was fully hugging her at this point, “Tell me and I can give it to you.”

She broke away from me at this point, her cheeks were wet but the black shirt I was wearing wasn’t. This I think tipped her off, but still somehow she wasn’t panicking. 

“Who are you?” she said softly, I think all of the crying had worn away at her voice.

I petted her head, listing what I was could be scary and I wanted to keep her relaxed in my presence. 

“I am the eyes you know are in the darkness, the teeth in the shadows, the one watching you from the starless sky.” I said softly, and she didn’t seem to panic, “I am the thing in the darkness and I know you.”

“How do you know me,” her dark brown eyes looked into mine. In that moment I put something behind the infinite darkness of my eyes. I wondered if she would ever stare long enough to find out what it was.

I laughed a bit, trying to get her to think I was a little embarrassed, “I’ve been watching you for about a week now Ria, I noticed that you have something that you really wanted in life and I wanted to give that to you.”

She pulled on her hair, it seems like she really was embarrassed, “You didn’t need to do that, you could have just asked me a week ago.”

I brushed her face with my hand, it was still wet and a little sticky but she had stopped crying at least, “I wanted to get to know you Ria. And now I do. What do you want, tell me and I can give it to you.”

She thought for a second, it was more like she was thinking about how to phrase it. Ria already knew what she wanted, she just didn’t know how to wish for it. 

While she was thinking her mom came upstairs, wanted to ask her if she had finished her homework. With just a thought I put some darkness around the door, nothing big, just enough to deter any normal human being from approaching it. I wished that I could control her mind, manipulate her limbs, or make her just disappear. But at this point I was still a young soul-eater, Ria would be my first soul. Once I had eaten her soul I would get more power, and it seemed like I was almost there.

“I want to be irresistible and for everything I make or put effort into be irresistible as well.” I smiled, she had really put some thought into it, “I want everything to give me what I want and think of me positively. This goes especially for job and college applications as well, no matter what I always want to be accepted.”

That sounded like hell, how would you know if you are actually good at something or if it was just the wish? I didn’t even need to put a negative spin on Ria’s wish, give it three months and she would be begging me to take away her soul. An amazing deal for a brand new-soul eater. I had worked hard to become who I was, and I knew that without hard work, without that feeling of accomplishment life would be nothing.

“Alright,” I said, “I can give you that. But I do need one thing from you.”

“What is it?”

This was where I could lose her, “It's really the promise that I need. The energy of you promising something important to me is what will give me the energy to grant your wish. Don’t think too hard about the sticker price, think instead about what you will be getting.”

She nodded, “What do you need me to promise you for it to work?”

Again I petted her hair and the look she gave me was so trusting. I guess an attractive wish granter promising the world, promising everything she knew could never happen, would put anyone in a state of complete bliss.

Technically what I told her was true, the energy from her promise would power the wish. But what I didn’t tell her was that I needed to eventually get her soul. The potential energy needed to be converted to kinetic energy for it all to work. I would need to get her soul. She hadn’t thought enough about her wish, I could almost feel the slippery, sunlit energy of her soul.

“I need your soul, Ria.”

I must have done a good job talking to her, she didn’t jump away from me just looked a little concerned. Like she had cracked her phone screen and was worried about the price.

“But what will I do without a soul?” she asked.

I shook my head and for good measure laughed, “It's just a promise remember. Like how even though Audible could take away your books for any reason it doesn’t. Think of it like signing a contract, it's just paper. Don’t worry, just think about how great your life will be. No need to work for anything, you’ll have the space to relax.”

This seemed to bolster her confidence, “Alright, you can have my soul-”

She stopped and for a second I thought she had rethought everything, “Actually what’s your name?”

I knew that some of the older soul-eaters had names, names that would send shivers down your spine, names that would blind you just for thinking of them, names that would make you melt. But when Ria asked me that I didn’t have anything to say to her.

“Call me whatever you wish, Ria.” I smiled.

“Alright,” she said, but she didn’t even suggest any names, “I’m ready to promise me your soul.”

As much as I wanted her soul I was shocked and intrigued at how little she was thinking of this. What was she thinking? Was I missing something? It was my first deal I didn’t want to get tricked.

“Would you really promise your soul just so you don’t have to work hard?” I asked her, then, pushing the boundaries a bit I cupped her face, “You’re smart, you’re pretty, you could get far in life if you worked hard. Is this promise worth it for you?”

She laughed bitterly, her sadness having seamlessly converted to anger, “Nathaniel’s in law school now. He doesn’t have friends, he has connections, he’s studying 12 hours a day after his 5 hours of classes, he has like two side hustles. And I know that he thinks it's worth it, but I don’t. I don’t want to be exhausted when I grow up, I want to live, not just hustle.”

Even if she didn’t want to be exhausted I thought that she was underestimating how much the satisfaction of hard work played in her life. She was angry, just thinking about what she didn’t want instead of what she actually wanted her life to be. I could have talked her down, could have reminded her how amazing life could be with that satisfaction. But I wasn’t there to be her therapist, I was there to get her soul.

“Alright, how long do you want the wish to last?” I asked her, in order for it to work every promise would need to have a time limit. Some predestined date where all of the potential energy would start to convert. 

“Forever,” Ria responded.

I laughed, “Nothing can last forever, Ria.” And then seeing that she was getting apprehensive again I decided to go for a compromise, “But things can last a lifetime, things can last ten years, however long you wish Ria.”

She nodded, “Alright I want it to last the rest of my life.”

I had the promise, the time frame, and what she wanted. It was ready, I could almost taste her soul. Before Ria had any more time to think I grabbed her face, sinking my fingers into her cheeks. I looked deep into her eyes, deeper than any human could. Her retinas, her optic nerve, I saw her brain. When I could see the lighting jumping between her neurons the deal was sealed and I disappeared.

Ria was left lying on her bed, feet dangling over the edge, with a light buzzing in her head. She got up to do her homework, wondering if it had all been real.

The girl tapped her chin as she was thinking of Ellen’s sudden pleads, “Of course, Elly. I’m ever so happy to oblige. Just come down and I’ll take you to my cottage so that you can break what I assume to be an extended fast. Along the way, maybe you can tell me what has led you to be in this predicament.”

Ellen crawled out of her hammock onto the limb of a strong tree that had supported her over the night. She carefully rolled her up both her hammock and her tarp and attached them securely to her pack. She hopped down from the limb skillfully and landed next to the girl with a thunk. As Ellen stood side-by-side with the girl she realized that there wasn’t much difference in their height. The girl was maybe just a smidge taller. Ellen and girl stood together for a brief moment before the girl knocked herself in the forehead and laughed.

“I had almost forgotten, Elly,” she said, “It’s been a while since we’ve talked so if you don’t remember my name’s Camilla. Yours is Elly, am I right?”

Ellen shook her head, “Actually, it’s not Elly, it’s Ellen.”

Cam laughed and ran a deeply tanned hair through her wind-blown black hair, “Alright Ellen, let us be off. If we hurry we can reach my cottage by noon.”

Ellen followed Cam as she showed her a faint path in the brush. They walked through the brush onto an overgrown path that appeared to not get much human use. Though Cam seemed to know it well. She looked to know every nook and cranny of the path. She gleefully pointed out little flowers and plants to Ellen as well as lifting up branches and thistles so that Ellen may not get scratched. After a good morning of walking Ellen decided to bring up and a few issues that had been grating on her ever since she had begun to follow the girl that she had met in the woods.

“Excuse me, Cam?” Ellen began as they were walking through a partially thorny piece of underbrush, “May I ask you something that has been on my mind.”

Cam nodded as she jumped skillfully over the thorns, “Of course, Ellen. My mind is yours to explore, ask away.”

Ellen took a deep breath as she tried to monitor the thorny brush, “Alright, do you live here in the woods? You mentioned that you had seen me picking berries so it seems like you are in here a lot, but you’re clothes don’t look like any hermit I’ve seen, in fact, they look store-bought.”

Cam laughed as she made it unscathed over the thorns, “Yes I suppose that must be confusing. You see Ellen I do live in this forest, my humble cottage is not that far, but I like to think that I’m not a hermit. I love to venture off into the village and banter with the people there.”

At this point, Ellen was so focused on the girl's explanations that she neglected to pay full attention to the thorny brush. One careless step was all it took to send Ellen tumbling to the other side of the thorns. She tried to think of the bright side as she sat on the dirt-covered path, at least she had crossed the thorns. However, in the process, Ellen had put quite a sizable scratch on her leg. Currently, as Ellen sat nursing her pride and her dignity the scratch was oozing bright red blood onto her already soiled dress and the soil underneath it.

When Cam realized what had sent Ellen tumbling to the ground she quickly knelt down and started to tend to her wound.

Ellen observed what Cam was doing with a mixture of stunned shock and stubborn embarrassment, “I’m all right, Cam,” Ellen assured as she tried to get back onto her feet, “There is no need for you to do this.”

“Nonsense Ellen,” Cam said softly, “Just let me help you, this will only take a bit.”

Surprised at Cam’s suddenly soft tone a blushing Ellen remained still as Cam worked quickly and skillful on her leg. When the crisp white bandage that Cam had produced from her pocket was wrapped around Ellen’s leg and Cam had helped the now mildly injured Ellen to her feet, did the two girls finally continue down the path.

“Alright, Ellen,” Cam began as they waded through some dense brush, “You have questioned me so I suppose it is my turn to question you if that is alright.”

Ellen thought for a moment before agreeing to Cam’s request, “You may.”

“Perfect,” Cam smiled, “Please, do tell me, Ellen, why were you sleeping in that tree? If I recall correctly you live with your parents, near Connor’s Hill. If you may, please tell me why you are in the woods.”

Ellen sigh, “Alright Cam, I suppose I must.”

“You mustn’t force yourself, Ellen,” Cam said swiftly, “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you had to tell me. Your secrets are your own to keep.”

They made it through the brush and the girls stopped to rest in the shadow of a towering oak tree. Cam began to pick up the fallen acorns and feast on the tender nut meat that was hidden inside the shells. When Ellen’s stomach began to beg for sustenance, Cam taught Ellen how to coax the tender meat out of shells. The girls sat there for the better part of an hour until the nuts finally began to dissolve in Ellen's stomach and she began to think more clearly. She thought about how this stranger whom she had only just begun to get to know was being ever so kind to her. A kindness that even most of her own family had never shown to her. 

“I’ll tell you, Cam,” Ellen said suddenly.

“Tell me what?” Cam questioned as she cracked an acorn between her teeth.

“Why I’m in the woods,” Ellen responded,” Why I ran away from home.”

Cam shook her head vehemently, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

Ellen put her hand on Cam’s bare shoulder and spoke with conviction, “No, I think, I think this will help.”

Cam nodded, “Alright, Ellen.”

Ellen bowed her head as she began her tale, “I lived with my grandmother, father, mother, and brother. My parents had to go away a lot, but that was alright my granny always took care of me so she became like my substitute parents. My brother is a lot older than me so they always took him with them when they left, so it was just me and my granny most of the time. Then my granny died,”

Cam comforted Ellen as tears welled in her eyes, “It must have been so hard for you.”

“Yeah,” Ellen said, “Too hard. I started to lose focus, started to make mistakes. When my parents and brother came home they found the house a mess. I-I, don’t, I don’t think they meant to hurt me. Not that first time, they were just tired, and, and well they were just weary from traveling. And I, and I didn’t do my chores and it was my fault and..”

“You tell yourself that a lot, don’t you?” Cam guessed.

Ellen laughed sadly, “Yeah I guess I do. Anyway every time they would come home they would always find some fault with my work. I tried harder, I tried to do better, I wanted to do better, but I just couldn’t. About a week ago they came back and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I left.”

Cam wrapped Ellen in an embrace as tears fell down her face. Her arms hugged tighter each time she heard Ellen’s sobs. Eventually, Ellen’s tears subsided and she sniffled.

“Do you think I made the right choice?” Ellen whispered, “They were my family, I didn’t pack enough food, I didn’t pack any money, why didn’t I just think this through, they are my family and I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Cam held Ellen at arm's length and shook her head, “No don’t say that. You made the right choice. If somewhere isn’t right for you, then you shouldn’t be there, simple as that. Besides who says you have nowhere to go? We’re going to my cottage for some food, remember?”

Ellen giggled, “Yeah, I almost forgot about that.”

Cam got to her feet and offered Ellen her hand, “Now come, we’ve rested long enough and we still have a ways to go.”

Cam helped Ellen to her feet and they left the shadow of the oak tree. As they continued deeper into the forest Ellen began to exhaust her already bruised and weary muscles. Although her muscles ached for the first time in a long time her mind was clear. Even though her pack weighed on her more than ever she felt as if a burden had left her back. Ellen smiled as she gazed upon the forest around her with fresh eyes. Suddenly it was as if this was her first time looking at the world around her. The flowers seemed more vibrant and fragrant, the sounds of the birds in the trees was sweeter. Cam must have noticed the smile and the spring in Ellen’s step because she laughed.

“You were right,” Cam said, “Talking about it really did make you feel better.”

“I suppose, everything seemed, lighter somehow,” Ellen responded.

Cam watched Ellen as she observed the forest around her and felt a strange heat come to her cheeks, “Well I suppose since you shared your life with me it is only just that I share my life with you, Ellen.”

Ellen shook her head and looked Cam in her soft brown eyes, “No it’s alright. Like you said our secrets are our own to keep.”

“That’s just it, Ellen,” Cam snapped her fingers, “I don’t want my life to be a secret. At least not from you.”

Ellen nodded her head and Cam began her brief tale, “I grew up not far from here, my parents were pretty wealthy, they had an entire manor and everything. I had always loved nature and since my parents were always busy I spent most of my time in the woods. I didn’t mind at all though, there was always somewhere new to explore so I never got bored. My parents respected that I loved the forest more than the house they didn’t mind, their only condition was that I never go too deep into the woods.”

Cam led Ellen through a grassy clearly onto an animal made path. As they were walking Ellen interrupted Cam’s tale.

“Your life sounds wonderful.” Ellen remarked, “What happened?”

Cam sighed as she resumed the story, “It was almost sundown and I ventured outside the area my parents had permitted. I suppose I was chasing something, like a hedgehog or perhaps a butterfly, I can’t even remember anymore. Long story short something happened to me, deep in the forest, that changed me forever. When I got back home my parents were ashamed, they told me that I shouldn’t have ventured too far, that it was my own fault. They couldn’t accept who I had become, so they disowned me. I’ve been living here ever since.”

Ellen took Cam’s hand into her own. Cam gazed into the brush with a faraway look in her eyes. Eventually, though she looked back at Ellen and found reassurance in her bright hazel eyes and chuckled.

“It’s so bad, don’t get me wrong.” Cam assured, “I had always dreamed about living in the woods and now I can. Living in tandem with nature was the one thing I had always wanted. Now I have it.”

Cam squeezed Ellen’s hand and they continued through the animal path together, hand in hand. Both of their hearts lighter than when they had started. Eventually, Cam told Ellen that her cottage was right around the corner. Ellen ran ahead with a spring in her step, excited to finally reach her destination. She was about to turn the corner when Ellen heard a deafening roar. Freezing in place she glanced at the brushed that framed the path and caught sight of something large. Ellen jumped back and knocked both her and Cam to the ground. Emerging suddenly from the undergrowth was an immensely large bear. Its fur was matted and reeked of rotting fish and when it fixed its dark beady eyes on Ellen she could only assume that it was hungry. Ellen’s fear petrified her and the thing she could do was sit on the ground and gaze at the beast that was about to take her life.

Suddenly Ellen felt something strange behind her back. She risked a glance behind her and was shocked to see what her eyes beheld. Standing there right behind her was a wolf greater than any Ellen had ever seen. Its black fur rippled in the breeze as it bared its teeth at the bear that was lumbering towards it. Ellen was briefly amazed that two of the most fearsome beasts in the forest had converged to kill her before she noticed that Cam was nowhere to be seen. Upon this realization, she noticed that the wolf's fur bore a striking resemblance to Cam’s hair and it was paying her no mind, just staring intently at the bear. Ellen put two and two together with a fright and realized that Cam was a werewolf, that must have been what her parents couldn’t accept, why she lived in the woods alone. Ellen’s granny, of course, had told her of the myth and folklore about them but she never for a second believed they were real. It seemed as though she was wrong because at that very moment she was staring at the one that was protecting her. 

Quick as a flash, the black wolf advanced upon the bear. It leaped, it’s hind legs pushing the rest of its body into the air. The wolf’s front paws landed upon the bear's shoulders as it sank its sharp claws into the beast’s flesh. It opened its great maw and it only allowed the bear one last roar before sinking its teeth into the beast’s face. It tore at the face again and again, which each chew it wrenched more and more flesh from what was now just a standing corpse. The bear's lifeless body careened to the ground and hit the dirt with a fur padded thud. The wolf leaps off the corpse just as it hit the ground. It disregarded the now dead bear and instead turned its eyes upon Ellen. For a split second, she worried about attack until she gazed into the wolf’s kind brown eyes and realized that it was just her friend. As Ellen relaxed the wolfs fur started to fade and its body started to lengthen. Ellen blinked and mouth wide open regarded Cam standing before her with a sheepish smile on her suntanned face. She looked exactly as Ellen had first seen her that very same morning. Wide-legged pants, bare shoulders, windblown black hair. Cam reached out a leathery hand and helped Ellen to her feet. 

“Now I know you have a lot of questions,” Cam started as she pointed toward the cottage at the end of the path, “But….”