#esybys fics

The week moved slowly from then on for Mark. He went to class on the days he was to go to class, took his brother out for meat on Wednesday but, all he could think about was the phone call he was to receive from Jinyoung. Maybe, he was stood up, the thought had hairs on his neck standing up and, perhaps Mark was head over heels but he stared at his phone more than once waiting on a call. Or a text, or anything that would allow Mark to know if Jinyoung was still alive. Jackson, even though he had started to come around again, kept his distance. It was like Mark had refused to be Jackson’s soulmate, Mark didn’t understand where all of his hostility and anger was coming from. Until he caught Jackson with a guest in his room.

“What the hell Jackson!?” Mark screeched as his gaze fixed on the figure lying next to him in bed. Wrapped tight in Jackson’s dirty duvet and the room for once looked a little neat. Mark scratched through his scalp in confusion blinking a couple times as he stared at the boy.

“Oh god, this is embarrassing.” Youngjae whispered ducking his head under the sheets of the bed and Jackson laid still, his face flushed and his fingers restless.

“Jackson he just graduated! He’s a kid!” Mark closed the door behind him stepping inside. Of course Jackson would preferred he leave but Mark was willing to talk out whatever this was. Choi Youngjae was Park Jinyoung’s little brother, it was like he was looking out for him, right?

“Hyung shut up! He’s 18 and last time I checked you were in the exact same situation! It’s not like he’s a baby, and I don’t need relationship advice from a confused sap who can’t even decide if he likes his own soulmate or not!” Jackson resembled that of an angry mother, his angry mother as he yelled at a timid Mark. The confidence that danced in him earlier was lost as he slumped on the wall feeling the impact of the words Jackson shouted at him.

“So this is a relationship?” Mark looks in disbelief. The fact that Jackson had kept this from him simmered in his thoughts. He explained to Jackson his situation with his soulmate’s(?) brother and all he could do was scream and shout out of pure anger for the situation that wasn’t even his own. He took it personally and Mark didn’t get any help from his best friend when he needed it.

“Get the hell out of my room, Mark!” Jackson drops his head back onto the pillows in exhaustion. His eyes rolling back in his dead, Youngjae like a dead weight doesn’t move. They all stand in the silence for a moment, as it stirs the room a bit Mark finally reaches for the doorknob.

“Wait, Mark hyung! Jinyoung hyung keeps talking about you. Something about a date? Which is weird because I thought he liked Jaebum hyung, they’ve been friends for years. Hyung practically clung to him when they were younger I remember thinking they were always hooking up after school in his room, because back then they were all so sec-”

“Get to the point Youngjae ah…” Mark sighs cutting the younger short. Youngjae really was a perfect match for Jackson with his big mouth.

“Well, hyung lost his phone and I guess he was coming up to your house today to talk to you but I don’t know when so just watch out, okay?” Youngjae blushes from the realization that he’s spoken so much. He sends mark a wary smile which is returned with a warm genuine one. Youngjae was a sweet kid, Jackson needed to treat him right.

“Thanks Youngjae, I’ll look out for him.” Mark nods finally getting out of Mark’s stupid bedroom, that hit him with a stench of skin and sweat. The fresh air surrounding the area filled his nose as he left Jackson’s apartment. Thankful, he walked into his own and cracked a window.

The street air had a tint of burnt rubber and car exhaust that drifted into the room as he settles into the couch. Lowly his eyelids flutter closed. The room feels weird, like a pair of eyes are peeking at him as he sits there.

“Hyung, you should really pay attention more.” A familiar whine breaks out from the chair opposite the window in the room. Mark’s eyes open wide in shock, his body rocketing up to look at the owner.

Park Jinyoung sits diagonal from him, petite legs crossed and tight smile plastered on his face. A car alarm goes off outside that sends them both yelping. Embarrassed, Mark sighs looking at Jinyoung with tired eyes. The latter beams a smile back at him as he walks over and sits himself right next to Mark.

“I lost my phone.” Jinyoung pouts before Mark even has a chance to greet him. His face still frozen in shock as Jinyoung pulls his feet up on the couch to get comfortable.

“Youngjae told me. I was expecting you a little later.” Mark laughs a little too dry. He clears his throat in an effort to clear the air.

“So?” Jinyoung twists his face an awkward way that shows he's anticipating Mark’s words. His fingers dangle between his legs knitted up together. The weight of the air surrounding them isn’t very light like Mark had expected.

“Do you want to go on a date?” Mark’s bloom a little red and Jinyoung snickers when he faces him. He must look like an idiot. Jinyoung grabs his fingers and intertwines them with his own. The older sits a bit restless as his foot taps repeatedly on the floor.

“I already asked you that, it’s why I’m here.” Jinyoung whispers before he bubbles out in laughter next Mark’s ear. Mark’s never known he could love a sound so much.

The grins that break out on the pairs face almost mirror each other, Mark looks into Jinyoung’s eyes for a moment.

Maybe the mark doesn’t lie.

“Shall we go now?” Mark murmurs and he’s admittedly a bit embarrassed, maybe because Jinyoung just looks so good and the idea of an us sounds kind of nice.

“No, I can’t Jaebum hyung asked to come over like an hour ago. You took forever at Jackson’s house. I really hope you guys don’t have a fling.” Jinyoung teases and pokes Mark’s cheek to which he scrunches his nose in disgust, because Jackson’s a barbarian. Before he even gets a chance to respond, Jinyoung is up on his feet leaning over on top of Mark a bit.

“Don’t worry, I know he’s fooling around with my brother.” He winks pushing himself upright again to put on his own shoes.

Mark might be gaping at the younger, but he can’t see his face so he doesn’t really know. Jinyoung does that laugh again, it makes mark shiver as Jinyoung opens the front door.

“Bye, hyung. I’m coming back tomorrow, wear something cute to match your face.” Jinyoung says cutely but Mark is completely enamoured and left in shock as he leaves. Only partially because Jinyoung is a cute bastard, mostly because he realized he was all his if Mark wanted him. All his and going to see Jaebum.

//

Mark’s insecurities didn’t lie in crisp white sheets, no one’s did. His insecurities laid in soiled cloths that crumpled under his weight. They lied with him, walked with him. It was no secret that they followed him everywhere he went. His mind always seemed to run at the peak of revelations, leaving his words in the dust and it more often than not allowed feelings of inadequacy to creep into him. The immense amount of time he spent with Jackson and his brother didn’t help either. Both incredibly friendly and loud bodies caused for him to feel drowned out in his own mind. Like he didn’t exist there either.

Mark allowed those feelings to drive him away as he stared at the clock waiting on Jinyoung’s arrival. He glanced over at his clock 4:09. The night slipped through his fingers as he stayed up thinking of all the things he was supposed to do the next day. All the things he could do wrong, there were so many things. He’d try to turn away from the window to relax and sleep but he quickly grappled that the light wasn’t the problem to begin with.

Mark sat up, chugging a glass of old water he’d left in his room. It tastes of the air and stuffs Mark like an olive with the smell and now the taste of dust and dirt. It wasn’t pleasant but Mark’s not a picky guy, so he doesn’t mind. The contents of the glass he’d left swirled around in a frenzy as Mark watches on, combing a hand through his hair calmy. It was the last thing he tried before he dozed into a sleep.

When he woke the next morning, his mother and Joey are arguing. Maybe about his future, Mark doesn’t know, but escalates and before he gets the chance to ignore it the voices are only getting louder and Mark hops out of bed. His feet make a light thud, it’s enough to still the argument. Something turns into harsh whispers when Mark opens his door.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Joey’s head snaps in Mark’s direction, his face a bit red. Their mother sighs and takes a seat at their counter.

“Hyung, can we go out?” Joey gives Mark a pleading look, one that feels like a calling he couldn’t possibly ignore. Mark nods shortly, throwing a look to his mother. Her face wears exhaustion, streaked with tears. He goes to ask what’s wrong with her, despite hearing the argument from his room, Mark is still clueless.

“Take him out somewhere nice, he needs it.” She walks slowly towards her room. Mark rakes a hand through his hair, going to take a shower.

Mark isn’t sure what’s happening with his brother and mother anymore. Joey’s graduation had naturally made their mother a bit anxious, since he was to go to university soon. Mark was a foreigner so moving on campus was a big request, but Joey had grown their his entire life. His entire life had been in Korea, and it shocked Mark when he realized that his brother had never known his hometown. It was knowing they were brothers some way, but not how. The only connection they’d ever really had was their mother and the relationship on the rocks only made the three of them grow apart.

Now, in such a situation Mark should be a man and step up to mend his family troubles. But he feels like there is a bigger issue, at hand. That may be his downfall.

//

“You have a stray at your door, hyung…” Jackson is pratically cackling in his ear over the phone, he can hear Jinyoung grumbling, maybe it brought the faintest smile to his face.

“Sorry, I’ll be there soon Jinyoung ssi.” The formalities were Mark’s way of feeling in control of his situation. Maybe, if he called him something strictly professional it held the younger at a distant in a blantly unprofessional situation.

“Ah, hyung don’t hurt his feelings.” Mark could imagine Jinyoung whining about being called such a name. Jackson comforting him and spilling some of Mark’s secrects in the process.

“So you mean to tell me, you know and you won’t tell him?”  Jackson almost screams Mark’s ear off. His face flushed with Jackson pressed right against him on his couch.

Mark took Joey home after the party. He ran away from everything there, Jaebum, the people, Youngjae, and especially Park Jinyoung. If he was lucky he’d never see him again.

“You idiot! I thought we talked about this!” Jackson leans back a little to slap Mark’s arm making him flinch. His chest felt tight, like he should be heaving but all Mark could do was sit, feet pulled to his chest staring off into the wall. White paint, wishing he’d went home after dinner. Before, the soju burned his throat so bad going down and Jinyoung pulled his shirt up.

“Are you even listening?” Jackson sighs rolling off the couch.

“No.” Mark looks away from the wall briefly.

“Great. Well, I know the only reason you’d keep something like that away from him is because it’s you.” Jackson sighs at the subtle objection Mark’s head is giving. Twisting side to side, saying absolutely not.

“It isn’t, why can’t you shut up for once Jackson?”

“Because it’s selfish Mark. You are, from the day I met you, you’ve been selfish. You resent your mom for the same exact thing! How can you be such a hypocrite?” Jackson’s saying things just light that fire in Mark’s head and he knows it. Mark’s parents have always been the soft topic of their friendship. It’s personal and ugly, something Mark doesn’t want brought up by someone else.

“Just shut up, Jackson! Shut up or get out! Whatever is on that guy’s back has nothing to do with you or me! It’s between him and his friend! Not us, nor me, sure as hell not you!”  Mark’s sorry for raising his voice. He’s not an angry guy, but Jackson just seems to turn his ears on when Mark gets loud. The tense breaths Mark let’s out as he sits back seem to be the end of it for Jackson. He’s headed for his shoes near the door.

He knows Mark is just a little stressed out but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop the dramatics. “Call me when you get your head out of your ass, Tuan.”

With that, he let’s the door shut behind him.

//

“Hyung, want to hang out with me and Mina today?” Joey wakes him up at what, 7 am? It’s sunday and Mark has classes tomorrow. Why is Joey up before him anyway?

“Joey, no. Why did you wake me up to be your escort?” Mark groans and rolls towards the wall his bed is propped against. If he bumps his head against the cold surface, he doesn’t make a sound.

“Fine hyung, just miss out on Lotte World for your bed. Park Jinyoung keeps calling by the way. Mom keeps telling me to remind you.” Joey pats his butt before he leaves closing Mark’s bedroom door behind him.

Park Jinyoung keeps calling. What is Mark going to say to him? Jinyoung must know now, right? Mark heaves himself out of the bed, his feet make a light thud on the floor.

Jackson hasn’t spoken to Mark since that day he yelled. It’s not like Mark doesn’t have other friends but Jackson was the only one who knew about the situation with Jinyoung. He tries to be quiet as he gets the landline downstairs. Not wanting to run into his mom or Joey while he listens to the call.

‘ Uh..god I don’t know how to make a call like this. I don’t want to be weird Mark ssi, you left so quickly from my house I didn't get your number. But Youngjae asked Joey and he gave him this, uh god this is really awkward I apologize. Could you just call me back when you get this?”

/

“You left the party really quickly.” Jinyoung pins up the uncomfortable smile on his lips and swallows down a breath like he reaching for air. The sound of stirring and pushing and pulling is all that fills Mark’s head. His chest feels dizzy and the race of his heart is daunting.

“I’m sorry, had to get Joey home.” Mark doesn’t return the smile. His thoughts referring back to the argument with Jackson and the tug of war his mom was playing with him and his mark. It didn’t spare space for a smile to give.

“Still, I wished you hadn’t left so soon. Y’know I wouldn’t even know to call you back if it wasn’t for Jaebum.” The sound of keys rings out from across the cafe and the blend of coffee beans fills the air and his nose. He cocks an eyebrow in confusion.

“Jaebum?

“I was really drunk and he said you helped me to my room. I didn’t remember much.” He seems embarrassed at the statement. The crimson shade rising on his cheeks and the tips of his ears like they hold a mirror to match the shade. He swallows back another breath.

Maybe this was the chance to tell the truth. That Mark had seen something so private of Jinyoung’s. But the fear ate him up. He sat back and the familiar wave in his voice presented itself in a swallow. The smell of the coffee was sickening, because it’d be what he remembered when he told the story of finding his love to his kids and grandkids. Lingering and dancing in his nose, raging in his brain because he knew it wasn’t going to be the story of his love Park Jinyoung. The one with his name printed in Mandarin so neatly on his back. “Yeah, I did. It’s no problem.” Jackson deserved to be pissed at him.

Jinyoung didn’t seem phased by his response as he beamed a genuine smile to Mark who swallowed back the nervousness like water. He felt a little like he was drowning then, when more people flooded into the store. He’d watch their faces as his chest bumped irregularly. “Mark hyung, did you hear me?” Jinyoung laughs a little. His deep smooth chuckle, baritone but light made Mark’s eyes light up, and his throat close. Park Jinyoung with his long lashes and dark hair that looked a little messy but was still beautiful and full, dark like the bottom of oceans. His brown wide eyes that Mark stared so long at, he stared so long at them.

“Yeah, sorry Jinyoung ah. What was it?” He clears his throat and Jinyoung leans forward a bit like he’s excited. Mark finds his previous frown drifting into an upturn of his lips and the pattering of feet on the wood floorboards filled their ears.

“I asked if you wanted to hang out with me soon?” At the proposal, Mark begs himself to say no, his mind thinking of the time he’d spend with the younger man. One day that’d turn into one month, and one year because that’s what happens when you find the mark. You stop looking for the rest of the world and he finds himself trying to deny what had seemed like an axiom before, but he found out quick enough there was no choice.

“Youngjae- ah and I have been close since middle school, hyung.” Joey chews with his mouth open and Mark watches the slush over chewed food that forms as he speaks. “Oh, I didn’t know Joey you’ve never mentioned Youngjae-ah before.” Mark eyes seem to wonder the table, in and out of conversations. He tries not to stare in Jinyoung’s direction too much.

Mark sits through plenty of questions from his mom and Jinyoung and Youngjae’s dads. So many “Have you” ‘s and “Will you” ‘s make Mark uncomfortable as he seems to smile and nod more than use actual words. One question in particular makes him choke on his drink. “So Mark, have you found your soulmate yet?” Yoonsun Park smiles, oblivious to Mark’s soulmate dilemma.

Mark’s eyes shift to Jinyoung’s unconsciously. He quickly looks away when he sees that the latter is already staring at him, expectantly.

“Uh..I’m not looking right now.” Mark clears his throat as Joey changes the subject. Thankful to his brother he doesn’t touch his food after that. His stomach feels like it’s closed in on itself. He sneaks a glance at Jinyoung who is staring at his hands before there’s a knock at the door. He jumps up to answer it.

When he returns it’s with the brunette from the stadium. He seems a bit too close with his arm already snaking it’s way around Jinyoung’s shoulder. Mark tries not to look too upset about it.

“Hyung, I’m glad you could make it. I thought Jinyoung hyung would just keep you to himself for the rest of the night.” Youngjae smirks at Jinyoung, his facial features deflate at Youngaje’s words as they get seated again.

“Oh Mark-ssi, how rude of me! This is Im Jaebum, my...friend.” Mark blinks once, twice, his mind seems to leave him. A thoughtless nod is given in response but Mark still catches the sad look Jaebum wears at Jinyoung’s words.

“Hello, Mark-ssi nice to meet you.” Jaebum doesn’t even spare him a glance.

After dinner, Yoonsun, his partner Dowoon, and Mark’s mother all decide to leave the house to the boys as they go out to spend more time together. They clean all the dishes, mostly Jinyoung as Joey and Youngjae play music and dance along to it. Jaebum sits at the counter in front of Jinyoung eyes obviously glued on his ass and Mark sits on the couch, wondering how he got here.

Eventually, Youngjae begs to invite over a few friends and Jinyoung gives the okay.

“Hyung, I’m 18 now..” Mark can hear Youngjae’s bickering from the kitchen he thinks he can imagine Jinyoung’s insistent pout. Mark wonders what it’d be like to kiss his soft pink lips. If Jinyoung would flinch a little at the contact. It drove a sigh of longing through his lips.

“Just don’t tell Yoonsun appa he’ll murder me!” That’s the end of the argument before Jinyoung comes waltzing out the kitchen sporting a full bottle of Soju. His hair swept out of his eyes at every step. Mark tries to look away but Jinyoung’s eyes look with his own.

“Mark hyung would you like a drink?” Jinyoung asks softly and Mark thinks he doesn’t want anyone except Jinyoung to say his name.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Jinyoung leaves to go grab some cups, he takes a little longer than he should just to get two small items. Mark tries to pretend he hasn’t seem him in the kitchen with Jaebum. The soju burns a little going down.

//

“You think Jaebum takes rejection well?” An hour older Jinyoung is plastered against Mark’s side on the couch where they had been having a small conversation. Mark didn't register that Jinyoung was drinking after almost every sentence. He didn't mind.

“I'm not sure, why?” Mark can see the sweat pooling from Jinyoung’s body. His arms slightly red and his face puffy.

Jinyoung turns around then. Lifting his shirt up to take it off.

“Whoa, hold on. What are you doing Jinyoung?” Mark tries not to chuckle as he pulls the latter’s shirt down.

“No, wait Hyung. Look on my back.” Jinyoung grabs Mark’s hands and pushes them up his shirt. Mark tried not to turn red hearing the word hyung leave Jinyoung’s mouth.

Mark listened though, his hands much cooler than the skin that covered Jinyoung’s back with a tinge of pink.

“Jinyoung is that your mark?” Mark feels his chest rising and falling a little faster than before.

“Yeah, hyung I can't even read Chinese that well. Jaebum hyung thinks that's his name right there. I haven't showed him yet. Yo-” Jinyoung stops running his mouth for one second to turn to Mark.

“Jinyoung I know the name.” Mark cuts him short as Jinyoung blinks to keep up with his words. Mark takes a deep breath unsure how to continue.

“What? Hyung who?” Jinyoung pouts.

A soulmark. It all came down to that mark on the inside of his wrists at the end of the day. Mark had seen it in movies and in dramas his sisters would force him to watch. Back when they lived in Los Angeles with their father. He was so young back then, his youngest sibling, Joey only a small infant at the time. He remembered the day they sent Joey to Korea to stay with their mother since he was so young. Mark remembers missing his sharp cries at night and his father trying to calm him as best as a father could.It took too much out of their father with two girls, Mark, and a baby. When Mark’s parents decided to live in different countries, Mark was confused. They were so in love when he had seen them before, but one day his mother refused to stay in LA anymore. Their father cried many nights, he begged her to stay but she rejected him and took the next flight to Seoul. Mark remembers everything, he remembers learning about the world in geography during school, wondering why his parents decided to live so far apart. Though he never brought it up, Mark remembers.

Mark remembers the dramas about those marks that had shown lovers from far and wide trying to find each other anywhere they went. One in particular, about a boy who had found his lover in France expecting it to be a women, but found a guy just shy of his age. He was devastated and rejected him instantly. The boy was ashamed of himself and tried to seek love in a women rather than his soulmate. It was called ‘Our Love Lost In France’, Mark didn’t know why it was even created.

That’s when Mark decided those soulmarks were bullshit. His love would not be determined or measured by them if he could so easily be rejected like the boy in the drama. Growing up around his father meant they spent little to no time even talking about the small marks on boy his wrists. It’s was an easy topic to avoid, until he was sent to Korea on his 18th birthday.

“Mark, I just want to see them.” His mother pesters him again.

He sighs shoving his arms onto the counter limply for her to exam. She gently pushes up his sleeves looking onto his skin revealing the small characters scribbled in black ink.

“Oh sweetheart! They’re Korean!” She beams excited since the marks have chosen closer to home.

The soulmarks were all printed in different areas of the body in small writing. They always gave the name of your soulmate but it was printed in their native language. Many people hired translators to read the print on their skin and traveled far to meet each other.

Mark could only smile weakly in response pulling his sleeves down. Mark didn’t care what they were, he didn’t care that they had picked Korea. It didn’t matter what the Korean characters meant, because Mark was going to fall in love with whom he wanted to.

Mark seemed to come alive when his younger brother walked unto the room. His beloved brother who he loved unconditionally. Mark had missed most of his childhood since he lived in LA but they tried to call often and even took trips to Korea to visit him and his mother.

“Mark hyung, can we eat outside tonight?” Joey sits next to his older brother at the counter.

Mark had promised Joey food tonight since they ate ramen yesterday.

“Sure, get your coat.” Mark hops off his stool slowly looking for his wallet.

“Mom, we’ll be back!” Mark shouts before locking their front door and making his way to the street with his brother.

//

“Hyung, I think my mark showed up.” Joey smiles at Mark whose eyes widened in shock.

“Joey, are you kidding me? Where?” He says in a soft voice brows furrowing in confusion. Why hadn’t he told him sooner? What if his soulmate was continents away? Mark didn’t want his brother traveling or even searching when he was so young.

Joey chuckles a bit showing Mark his print on his left forearm. Mark let out a sigh of relief seeing the Korean printed on his skin.

“She’s my best friend, hyung.” He smiles spooning rice into his mouth as Mark nodded smile fondly at his brother.

“That’s so great Joey, you have to introduce us sometime.” Mark patted his younger brother’s shoulder as he shoveled a spoonful of soup into his mouth. The warmth calming him as he smiled into the bowl.

Mark felt alright, his brother found love, he was here to watch his brother find love and his mother would be elated. Everyone wins.

Except Mark when he starts feeling the small itching on his wrists. At first, he’d ignored it as he watched his brother eat. Then, it slowly grew painful as he the print searing in his skin. His heart started racing in his chest.

“Hyung? You don’t look too good.” Joey slowly rubs his brothers back as his face grows pale.

“I’m just tired, Joey. Let’s continue.” He smiled picking up his spoon but quickly dropping it as another wave of pain raced through his wrists.

Mark shakes his head in disbelief as he hears a small “Holy shit” across the room.