I am disappointed in myself.
I’m all righteous piss and vinegar until you take your pants off....then I just kinda feel bad for you. Lying there...all vulnerable.
Explains a lot about my dating life actually.
She walked in the shining example of what America loves. Thin, white, blonde, hot jailbait ass. 22ish looking barely 17. Fairly heavily tattooed with cherries on the back of her thighs. She seemed a bit nervous but didn’t think much of it as most folks are by the time they’re left alone in a room with me. She got on the table, that’s when I saw it.
I was really hoping it was a 4 winged butterfly...but that giant red swastika on her vagina could not be ignored. I wanted to scream at her “I’M A JEW!!”...but I didn’t...mostly, because I’m not but that’s beside the point. I asked her where she got that and she sorta mumbled I was really drunk and wouldn’t look me in the eye.
VagiNazi? Nazivag? Navagina...?
Nobody gets that fucking drunk. Drunk is Tweety bird on your ass after blacking out in Vegas. Drunk is your boyfriends name on your boob right above your heart!. Drunk is a tribal sun tramp stamp above the crack of your ass. Drunk is not the murder of millions, the shining example of hatred and the closest thing to evil our history books will admit to. That is belief. Alcohol is truth serum. Fuck you and your Nazi loving vagina. Fuck you and that racist fascist mule you rode in on!!
So I went on as I normally do. I was kind to her and her bits. Making the small talk, cracking jokes, asking about her life-waitress with 2 jobs, live in boyfriend works as a mover both living in his father’s house in the Hollywood hills. Living the dream...
Finished her brazilian in 15 mins or so...because why cover up the insignia of racial superiority with vagina hair? YOU WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW!!!
Maybe I should have burned her on top of her stupid vagina. Maybe I should have laid a big ass strip of wax across the top of her and walked out. Maybe I should have made the whole thing last for an hour using only little strips pulling oh so very slowly. I didn’t do any of those things...I didn’t even lecture on the evils she clearly believes in. I just did my job because that’s who I am? A really nice forgiving person? Me?! The fuck?! I am a soldier for equality! I am a loud vocal advocate of the downtrodden! I am will attempt to right what ever wrong I bear witness to! Mostly, I felt bad for the girl. So dumb, so young, so pretty not having any idea how fleeting those last 2 are...
