#esphiles

(Note: Charmy is small child. He mostly likes them because they're cool or doesn't like them because they're mean or scary. Also, take this as sorta an interview instead of a "espio just brought this person home".)

Sonespio-

Vector: "7/10. Sonic's a good kid, and by far one of the... Better options."

Charmy: "9/10! Sonic's SOOO cool!"

Knuxpio-

Vector: "9/10! Knuckles is a good friend of mine! I'm happy for them both!"

Charmy: "10/10!!! Knuckles is AWESOME! They're so close to each other, too!"

Espamy-

Vector: "6/10. Amy's a sweet girl, but she's a bit much sometimes. I'm just happy Espio's happy."

Charmy: "7/10! Amy's nice! She makes good cookies! They aren't Vanilla's cookies, but they're still good!"

Shadpio-

Vector: "4/10. At least Espio's happy, but... Him? Really? There's so many better options! Preferably less... Rude ones."

Charmy: "3/10. Shadow's mean and scary!"

Espouge-

Vector: "5/10. She's sweet sometimes, but she's not really... Suitable for someone with Espio's honor code. I dunno, she just kind of goes against everything we work for! I don't hate her, but... Espio deserves better."

Charmy: "7/10! She's pretty, and she's nice to me! I don't think she likes me very much, but I think she's cool!"

Espilver-

Vector: "8/10. I like the kid, but he's always in his future. I'm worried that his absence might make it difficult for them."

Charmy: "10/10! Silver's cool! He always brings presents from his future! One time, he gave me this really cool-"

Espaze-

Vector: "8/10. She's never around, always busy with royal duties in her dimension. They won't be able to spend a lot of time together. She's a respectable lady, though! Real polite! I like her!"

Charmy: "2/10. She wouldn't set me on fire! She's also kinda scary..."

Metpio-

Vector: "1/10. What the hell? How did this even happen? I need to have a chat with Espio."

Charmy: "-1000/10! He's so scary!"

Espinite-

Vector: "-1/10! How did Espio even- How did they even- How did this- What the hell???"

Charmy: "0/10. Isn't Infinite the mean guy who tried to take over the world?"

Espazz-

Vector: "1/10. Why is Espio's taste in men so awful??? I really need to have a talk with him about his type."

Charmy: "3/10. He smells bad and acts weird. I don't like him."

Espeena-

Vector: "1/10. I guess his taste in women is bad too??? Damn it, Espio! ... Wait, why have most of these been men-"

Charmy: "4/10. She's pretty, but she's so mean! She calls me a brat when Espio's not around!"

Espurge-

Vector: "3/10. I might actually just ban Espio from dating anyone ever. I mean... She might get redeemed? So far, it's not looking good. She's also really disrespectful."

Charmy: "6/10! She's so fun! She shocks me when I ask her to! Espio doesn't know, but I think he'd be mad."

Esponey-

Vector: "5/10. I don't really know the lady, but she's really nice and polite. I don't see an issue, but I don't really know her well enough to decide."

Charmy: "6/10. I don't know her a lot, but she makes me new clothes! She says I 'serve cunt'! I dunno what that means, but I think it's nice!"

Esphiles-

Vector: *watches video shown to him (Sonic 06 gameplay)* "... -10/10. HELL no! Gaia damnit, Espio! Your taste is shit!"

Charmy: "0/10... He's scary!"

Whispio-

Vector: "9/10! Whisper's a very sweet girl, and definitely a good choice! She's very polite, respectful, and knows how to get a job done!"

Charmy: "9/10. She's nice, and I like her, but she's a little boring. Though, I guess that makes her perfect for Espio! Hehehhehe- ACK-"

Espangle-

Vector: "Oh, 10/10 for sure! She's known Espio longer than I have! She's a real good kid!"

Charmy: "9/10! Tangle's so fun! She's a lot like me!"

Espewel-

Vector: "7/10. I like her, but she's real nervous, and Espio's already anxious enough."

Charmy: "5/10. I like her, but why does she twitch so much? She freaks out a lot, but I think she's nice!"

Espolin-

Vector: "6/10. She's alright. Her strictness matches Espio pretty well, but together... They're a force to be reckoned with. It's a bit intimidating. A side glance from either of them is enough to make you shake in your boots!"

Charmy: "4/10. She's kinda scary, but I know she's nice under all of that! She makes me do my chores, though!"

Espjet-

Vector: "5/10? I mean, I just... Don't really know how it happened. They're so different, and just... I don't know."

Charmy: "6/10. I dunno how I feel! Jet looks cool, but he's kinda mean!"

Espave-

Vector: "6/10. She's a bit nicer, but she's still not great. Again, I don't really know..."

Charmy: "6/10. She's smart, but she's still mean like Jet."

Stormpio-

Vector: "3/10. At this point, just date Knuckles. He's nicer, and Espio knows him better!"

Charmy: "5/10. He's like Knuckles, but a big dummy!"

Tripio-

Vector: "... 7/10? I just don't know her at all, and I didn't even know she existed until they started dating... She seems nice?"

Charmy: "8/10! I like her! She's nice, and she toasts my toast with her fire breath!"

Espally-

Vector: "9/10. How did Espio even manage to bag a PRINCESS??? How did they even meet???"

Charmy: "8/10! Sally's nice! She's fancy and pretty!"

Espicole-

Vector: "7/10. At least it's not Metal Sonic. She's alright, I guess. She's nice."

Charmy: "5/10. She's nice, and she can make pretty images with her hands, though!"

Mimpio-

Vector: "3/10. Aaaaaand we're back to poor taste. Wow. ... Wait, didn't he die? Didn't he die??? Wait-"

Charmy: "2/10. He's scary... And mean. I don't like him. He's a big bully!"

Espighty-

Vector: "10/10! Now that's more like it! Mighty's a good friend of the agency! He may have gone off with Ray to do his own thing, but he'll always be part of the family!"

Charmy: "10/10!!! I missed him so much! Maybe now that him and Espio are dating, Mighty and Ray will be around more!"

Espelle-

Vector: "7/10? I like the kid, but I though Espio hated her dad? I mean, we all do, but he specifically hated Mr Tinker! Oh well. She's nice, and he's happy, so that's what matters."

Charmy: "8/10! She's really nice! She fixes my toys when I break them!"

Espikal-

Vector: "Uhhh... 7/10? Knuckles told me about her a while ago, but I didn't meet her until Espio somehow brought her home??? I don't even know how it works."

Charmy: "9/10. She's pretty, nice, and tells me cool stuff about the ancient echidna tribe! And don't tell Vector, but she even taught me how to say swear words in their native language..!"

Espicks-

Vector: "6/10. She's alright, I guess. She's a bit wild and a bit odd, but if she makes him happy."

Charmy: "7/10! She's soooo fun! She's kinda weird, but I think that's okay!"

Mikupio-

Vector: "10/10? How the fuck did he bag Hatsune Miku? Whatever, she's rich, therefore we're rich. I'm gonna go buy a new helicopter."

Charmy: "100/10!!! I LOVE Hatsune Miku! It's soooo cool that she's dating Espio! She gives me private concerts a lot!"

Fangpio-

Vector: "4/10. Back at it again with the Gaia awful taste. At least he's not the WORST option."

Charmy: "2/10. Didn't he try to kill us a few times..?"

Espark-

Vector: "5/10. Only slightly better than Fang. Still an awful choice."

Charmy: "2/10. What is it with Espio and bad people???"

Espaos-

Vector: "... 1/10. The literal god of chaos? Are you FUCKING-"

Charmy: "3/10. It's big, mean, AND scary! It doesn't say anything, but it looks at me like a bully!"

Bigpio-

Vector: "8/10. Finally, someone NORMAL. The guy's pretty nice. Chill, relaxed, laidback, the works. He's fun to fish with. He chilled Espio out a bit, and that's always a good thing."

Charmy: "9/10! Big's really nice! He taught me how to fish!"

Goldpio-

Vector: "7/10. The girl's nice, but she's a lot like Silver and Blaze in the way that she's not around a lot."

Charmy: "6/10! She's pretty and smart, but I don't think she likes me very much..."

Espumble/Tumpio-

Vector: "0/10. Of course, another bad one. He's not good enough for Espio! He's more than likely trying to infiltrate the agency so he can backstab us and break Espio's heart! I know enough about those types to know that he needs to stay far away from my son!"

Charmy: "5/10. A lot better than the other one. I think Tumble's a bit nicer, and he could be really nice if he tried!"

Esponia-

Vector: "6/10. Sonic's sister, huh? Didn't know he had one. Sure, why not? Can't be worse than Mephiles or Infinite."

Charmy: "8/10! Sonia's a lot like Sonic, but she's an awesome kickbutt lady with pretty hair!"

Espanic-

Vector: "6/10. Same as before. Honestly, I don't think this can worse than Mephiles and Infinite."

Charmy: "9/10! He plays the drums, like me! I just feel bad for Mighty... I know he liked Manic."

Starpio/NinjaStar-

Vector: "0/10. I don't trust him not to mess with Espio's head."