#espumble

(Note: Charmy is small child. He mostly likes them because they're cool or doesn't like them because they're mean or scary. Also, take this as sorta an interview instead of a "espio just brought this person home".)

Sonespio-

Vector: "7/10. Sonic's a good kid, and by far one of the... Better options."

Charmy: "9/10! Sonic's SOOO cool!"

Knuxpio-

Vector: "9/10! Knuckles is a good friend of mine! I'm happy for them both!"

Charmy: "10/10!!! Knuckles is AWESOME! They're so close to each other, too!"

Espamy-

Vector: "6/10. Amy's a sweet girl, but she's a bit much sometimes. I'm just happy Espio's happy."

Charmy: "7/10! Amy's nice! She makes good cookies! They aren't Vanilla's cookies, but they're still good!"

Shadpio-

Vector: "4/10. At least Espio's happy, but... Him? Really? There's so many better options! Preferably less... Rude ones."

Charmy: "3/10. Shadow's mean and scary!"

Espouge-

Vector: "5/10. She's sweet sometimes, but she's not really... Suitable for someone with Espio's honor code. I dunno, she just kind of goes against everything we work for! I don't hate her, but... Espio deserves better."

Charmy: "7/10! She's pretty, and she's nice to me! I don't think she likes me very much, but I think she's cool!"

Espilver-

Vector: "8/10. I like the kid, but he's always in his future. I'm worried that his absence might make it difficult for them."

Charmy: "10/10! Silver's cool! He always brings presents from his future! One time, he gave me this really cool-"

Espaze-

Vector: "8/10. She's never around, always busy with royal duties in her dimension. They won't be able to spend a lot of time together. She's a respectable lady, though! Real polite! I like her!"

Charmy: "2/10. She wouldn't set me on fire! She's also kinda scary..."

Metpio-

Vector: "1/10. What the hell? How did this even happen? I need to have a chat with Espio."

Charmy: "-1000/10! He's so scary!"

Espinite-

Vector: "-1/10! How did Espio even- How did they even- How did this- What the hell???"

Charmy: "0/10. Isn't Infinite the mean guy who tried to take over the world?"

Espazz-

Vector: "1/10. Why is Espio's taste in men so awful??? I really need to have a talk with him about his type."

Charmy: "3/10. He smells bad and acts weird. I don't like him."

Espeena-

Vector: "1/10. I guess his taste in women is bad too??? Damn it, Espio! ... Wait, why have most of these been men-"

Charmy: "4/10. She's pretty, but she's so mean! She calls me a brat when Espio's not around!"

Espurge-

Vector: "3/10. I might actually just ban Espio from dating anyone ever. I mean... She might get redeemed? So far, it's not looking good. She's also really disrespectful."

Charmy: "6/10! She's so fun! She shocks me when I ask her to! Espio doesn't know, but I think he'd be mad."

Esponey-

Vector: "5/10. I don't really know the lady, but she's really nice and polite. I don't see an issue, but I don't really know her well enough to decide."

Charmy: "6/10. I don't know her a lot, but she makes me new clothes! She says I 'serve cunt'! I dunno what that means, but I think it's nice!"

Esphiles-

Vector: *watches video shown to him (Sonic 06 gameplay)* "... -10/10. HELL no! Gaia damnit, Espio! Your taste is shit!"

Charmy: "0/10... He's scary!"

Whispio-

Vector: "9/10! Whisper's a very sweet girl, and definitely a good choice! She's very polite, respectful, and knows how to get a job done!"

Charmy: "9/10. She's nice, and I like her, but she's a little boring. Though, I guess that makes her perfect for Espio! Hehehhehe- ACK-"

Espangle-

Vector: "Oh, 10/10 for sure! She's known Espio longer than I have! She's a real good kid!"

Charmy: "9/10! Tangle's so fun! She's a lot like me!"

Espewel-

Vector: "7/10. I like her, but she's real nervous, and Espio's already anxious enough."

Charmy: "5/10. I like her, but why does she twitch so much? She freaks out a lot, but I think she's nice!"

Espolin-

Vector: "6/10. She's alright. Her strictness matches Espio pretty well, but together... They're a force to be reckoned with. It's a bit intimidating. A side glance from either of them is enough to make you shake in your boots!"

Charmy: "4/10. She's kinda scary, but I know she's nice under all of that! She makes me do my chores, though!"

Espjet-

Vector: "5/10? I mean, I just... Don't really know how it happened. They're so different, and just... I don't know."

Charmy: "6/10. I dunno how I feel! Jet looks cool, but he's kinda mean!"

Espave-

Vector: "6/10. She's a bit nicer, but she's still not great. Again, I don't really know..."

Charmy: "6/10. She's smart, but she's still mean like Jet."

Stormpio-

Vector: "3/10. At this point, just date Knuckles. He's nicer, and Espio knows him better!"

Charmy: "5/10. He's like Knuckles, but a big dummy!"

Tripio-

Vector: "... 7/10? I just don't know her at all, and I didn't even know she existed until they started dating... She seems nice?"

Charmy: "8/10! I like her! She's nice, and she toasts my toast with her fire breath!"

Espally-

Vector: "9/10. How did Espio even manage to bag a PRINCESS??? How did they even meet???"

Charmy: "8/10! Sally's nice! She's fancy and pretty!"

Espicole-

Vector: "7/10. At least it's not Metal Sonic. She's alright, I guess. She's nice."

Charmy: "5/10. She's nice, and she can make pretty images with her hands, though!"

Mimpio-

Vector: "3/10. Aaaaaand we're back to poor taste. Wow. ... Wait, didn't he die? Didn't he die??? Wait-"

Charmy: "2/10. He's scary... And mean. I don't like him. He's a big bully!"

Espighty-

Vector: "10/10! Now that's more like it! Mighty's a good friend of the agency! He may have gone off with Ray to do his own thing, but he'll always be part of the family!"

Charmy: "10/10!!! I missed him so much! Maybe now that him and Espio are dating, Mighty and Ray will be around more!"

Espelle-

Vector: "7/10? I like the kid, but I though Espio hated her dad? I mean, we all do, but he specifically hated Mr Tinker! Oh well. She's nice, and he's happy, so that's what matters."

Charmy: "8/10! She's really nice! She fixes my toys when I break them!"

Espikal-

Vector: "Uhhh... 7/10? Knuckles told me about her a while ago, but I didn't meet her until Espio somehow brought her home??? I don't even know how it works."

Charmy: "9/10. She's pretty, nice, and tells me cool stuff about the ancient echidna tribe! And don't tell Vector, but she even taught me how to say swear words in their native language..!"

Espicks-

Vector: "6/10. She's alright, I guess. She's a bit wild and a bit odd, but if she makes him happy."

Charmy: "7/10! She's soooo fun! She's kinda weird, but I think that's okay!"

Mikupio-

Vector: "10/10? How the fuck did he bag Hatsune Miku? Whatever, she's rich, therefore we're rich. I'm gonna go buy a new helicopter."

Charmy: "100/10!!! I LOVE Hatsune Miku! It's soooo cool that she's dating Espio! She gives me private concerts a lot!"

Fangpio-

Vector: "4/10. Back at it again with the Gaia awful taste. At least he's not the WORST option."

Charmy: "2/10. Didn't he try to kill us a few times..?"

Espark-

Vector: "5/10. Only slightly better than Fang. Still an awful choice."

Charmy: "2/10. What is it with Espio and bad people???"

Espaos-

Vector: "... 1/10. The literal god of chaos? Are you FUCKING-"

Charmy: "3/10. It's big, mean, AND scary! It doesn't say anything, but it looks at me like a bully!"

Bigpio-

Vector: "8/10. Finally, someone NORMAL. The guy's pretty nice. Chill, relaxed, laidback, the works. He's fun to fish with. He chilled Espio out a bit, and that's always a good thing."

Charmy: "9/10! Big's really nice! He taught me how to fish!"

Goldpio-

Vector: "7/10. The girl's nice, but she's a lot like Silver and Blaze in the way that she's not around a lot."

Charmy: "6/10! She's pretty and smart, but I don't think she likes me very much..."

Espumble/Tumpio-

Vector: "0/10. Of course, another bad one. He's not good enough for Espio! He's more than likely trying to infiltrate the agency so he can backstab us and break Espio's heart! I know enough about those types to know that he needs to stay far away from my son!"

Charmy: "5/10. A lot better than the other one. I think Tumble's a bit nicer, and he could be really nice if he tried!"

Esponia-

Vector: "6/10. Sonic's sister, huh? Didn't know he had one. Sure, why not? Can't be worse than Mephiles or Infinite."

Charmy: "8/10! Sonia's a lot like Sonic, but she's an awesome kickbutt lady with pretty hair!"

Espanic-

Vector: "6/10. Same as before. Honestly, I don't think this can worse than Mephiles and Infinite."

Charmy: "9/10! He plays the drums, like me! I just feel bad for Mighty... I know he liked Manic."

Starpio/NinjaStar-

Vector: "0/10. I don't trust him not to mess with Espio's head."

All my Espio ships (the non-crossover ones):

Sonespio, Knuxpio, Espamy, Shadpio, Espouge, Espilver, Espaze, Metpio, Espinite, Espazz, Espeena, Espurge, Esponey, Mephpio (please HMO), Whispio, Espangle, Espewel, Espolin, Espjet, Espave, Stormpio, Tripio, Espally, Espicole, Mimpio, Espighty, Espelle, Espikal, Espicks, Mikupio, Fangpio, Espark, Espaos, Bigpio, Goldpio, Espumble, Esponia, Espanic, Starpio

I'll only be tagging my favorites of the ships, because there's so many 😭