#esfandtv

"Did you see me dancing with Ethans Mom?"

"Dude, Ethan's Mom ... alright! I'm not complainin'."

"Sorry, sorry Ethan!"

ITS JUST

“schlatt, schlatt stop playing call of- NIKI! NIKI GET OFF MINEC- oh thats jack? JACK GET OFF THE DREAM SM- ESFAND!!!! SCHLATT ARE YOU PLAYING SKAT- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???????”

[VIDEO ID]

A video of Jack Manifold up on stage being interviewed with Dakota Olave by EsfandTV, the text at the bottom of the video reads ‘bald king👑 (he’s gonna win guys)’

Esfand: Do- do that thing boxers do where they look like they hate each other and they put their hands up.

Jack: Oh yeah, no, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Both Jack and Dakota get into fighting stances whilst everyone laughs.

Esfand: Now, now you’re supposed to say like really mean things about each other, that are completely unnecessary.

Dakota: Unnecessary comments.

Jack (in an American accent): You’re easy pickings pal. First name easy, last name pickings, pipsqueak.

Dakota: Fuck if I know.

Jack flicks Dakota’s hat off of his head, to the surprise of the audience, Dakota then pulls another hat out of his bag and puts it on his head.

Esfand: He got you there, Jack.

Jack makes a ‘fair enough’ motion and both of them walk away from each other.

austin: tired divorced mother of 5 who won’t stop playing video-games in the middle of the love or host

minx: if she could she would walk out of the room and just not come back, but she’s still got champagne and chicken wings to finish

schlatt: skate 3 :)

niki: literally so exhausted by all of the times schlatt has broken minx’s heart while she still somehow trusts him so she’s trying to fix the situation herself and it’s not working out too well

jack manifold: he was not silent, he was silenced

sam withers: “and did i mention i was on love island?”

emma: i legit think she might murder schlatt someone please watch that woman because if mr. president turns up dead in the hudson i won’t even be surprised i will just say “i told you so”

esfand: if “gentle giant” was a person it would be this man. i don’t even care if he hosted he is wonderful i wanna be his friend (but also why the FUCK was he just blasting fart porn)

polite: desperately trying to pay off schlatt with edited videos but forgetting he never uploads anyway so he doesn’t need a free editor

nopeify: THAT’S what he looks like?????????

riflos: i can’t tell if he wanted to fuck minx, schlatt, or both of them but good for him either way

jagger: low-key proclaiming his genuine love for minx and then just turning around and HOSTING

stonepa: as always, a man of few and yet so many words (on twitter, that is)

maliyah: master of camouflage and sucking up to schlatt

pokimane: came for a best friend and got among us porn

jschlatt: instigated the among us porn

jack manifold: participated in the among us porn

captain puffy: calm, collected, and actually has it together, good on her

mizkif: started out as one giant shitpost and lowkey got wholesome towards the end, i’m glad he made it to the top two

antphrodite: chill, fun and super interesting, would love to have him as my friend tbh

connor: basically just “i’m already poki’s friend :) okay have fun guys love you poki *dips*”

cinnabrit: honestly good contestant, a bit average and had that small hiccup at the end but really nice none the less

stonepa: tweeted more words than he said, a man of culture indeed

qtcinderella: threatening in every way - dating one of the biggest powerhouses on twitch, great at baking, intimidating and sent bed bugs to her cheating ex, what a fucking queen i stan

elee: the cutest human being on earth, love her to bits

esfand: he was there?????