#error 0

venting under the cut

Error 0, trapped in a static void, with only a telephone to let him communicate with anyone…

he is a homeowner (and we can assume that by bikini bottom's use of usd-equivalent currency and other cultural similarities that the age restriction on that is similar), he has been working his job for a long time, and while he IS in boating school he is only still there because he has been failing for YEARS. spongebob is an adult.

now. with this established i want to talk about the first spongebob movie.

the main driving force of spongebob's character arc in the movie is that he is, apparently, a "kid." he engages in childish hobbies. he is emotionally immature. because he is not enough of a "man," he is passed up for the krusty krab 2's managerial role. over the course of the movie, he attempts to fake being more "adult," more "manly" with facades that easily fall apart when put up to any real scrutiny.

however by the end, as shown in his speech preceding goofy goober rock, he has realized that all the adversity he has overcame has been not by being something he's not. he may be a "kid," but there's nothing wrong with that. he's silly and weird and has goofy solutions to things but he saved the world anyway. the entire goofy goober rock's musical number is about wholeheartedly embracing childishness and self-identity. the film ends with spongebob getting the managerial promotion, having not "grown up" in any way but rather having learned to accept himself and having shown others that that is something worthy of respect.

however. remember that spongebob is not a child. he is an adult.

where i am going with this is. the spongebob squarepants movie is a metaphor for neurodivergence. spongebob gets infantilized by his peers so he attempts to prove he's more normal than he really is, but he doesn't have to. it is the very childishness they derided him for that saves the world.

i'm sure people who are more skilled at film analysis have talked abt this before but. spongebob neurodivergent and spongebob movie good

You,are going to take that Flirty Sex Appeal Character (bonus points if theyare a femme fatale whos primary personality trait is Boobs). and you. are going to make them ACE/ARO. SEX. REPULSED. Flirting solely for the bit. for pure sport.

Here's what i think theyre going to do for the new jet set radio!

They are going to retell the plot of the first JSR and/or Future but with a new coat of paint

There are going to be purchasable DLC graffiti and music packs

the graffiti editor will be even more hostile to human life

Corn is going to die in the first ten minutes of the game

They are introducing a new member of the GGs named "Snorf", and his catchphrase is going to be "It's snorfin' time!"

Pots is finally going to have the fully humanoid body he's always wanted.

yoyo is not going to be in it, they are replacing him with Ecco the Dolphin (This has actually been Confirmed by SEGA!)

You play as a member of Poison Jam this time. you get to chill in da sewers and watch monster movies between levels ^.^

They are going to implement motion controls.

We'll finally get confirmation on which members of the GGs are and aren't furries!

@dailyoyo is going to be working on it :D everyone contgraltulate them for how many sega employees they had to slaughter to get here

Beat will lose both of his arms and get giant horrible frightening mechanical claws as replacements

there will be a sanity meter mechanic!

It will be "Fortnite 2".

There will be a chapter of the game where Beat's headphones go missing and you have to find them! During the entire chapter, there will be no music whatsoever to emphasize Beat's lack of headphones.

there is going to be a 2-hour segment that is just an artsy and inscrutable experimental depiction of yoyo goig into a dissociateive spiral

Hayashi and Onishima will both be in the game, and they're going to be making out sloppy style every time they're onscreen. They won't even function as enemies? They're just a setpiece?

There will be no rival gangs, the entire plot will entail the GGs turning on each other like rabid dogs for ill-defined and petty reasons.

to be innovative and try something different from teh rest of the series, the soundtrack is going to be bad.

Yoyo is going to perish and be consumed by a malevolent warehouse, which will merge with his consciousness.

Bis/Mew/Ryth will have a new name

There's gonna be robot doppelgangers of ALL the ggs! uh oh! theyre all going to die before they get any significant screentime though in order to punish me specifically

There is going to be a minigame where you play as an overworked ordinary Rokkaku Group employee desperately trying to balance the company budget as Gouji continues to pour more money into the Killing Teenagers fund.

^ can someone buy this for me. i cant pay you back

New mechanic where you can escape enemies by killing them, but the character you used to do this will go into a crisis over having had to take a fellow human's life at such a young age and the traumatic effects will lower their stats. Pots is immune to this effect

yoyo will get euthanized

There will be a new area named "The Unforgiving Abyss". Grind down the spine of the thousand mile long leviathan who perished within!

Ice skating instead of rollerksating?

aiai from super monkey ball will be in there

You won't be able to play it without pirating it to be truer to the spirit of the game

The moral of the story will be that the real radio was the jet we set along the way.