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AOM AU Eris. toying with the codename Tempest, but not sure imunna stick with it. basically, still created by Ultor, but she’s about as stable as a bowl of jello in an earthquake, so they shoved her on Persephone as kind of a “here, make this problem go away.” so Gremlin slapped together some power limiter gauntlets to keep her kind of under control, and set her loose against LEGION.
sometimes she has flashes of coherence from other realities, especially if she sees Agent Kingpin or Lt. Gat, and gets very agitated when she can’t find Shaundi. otherwise she’s a one-woman wrecking crew, just point her in the direction of shit that needs up-fucking and stand back.
There's a loud banging on Eris's door and before he can open it, the person who banged is gone and on his doorstep is a bouquet of flowers and a card that reads "U make me like ur head <3"
“Yeah, yeah, ‘m comin’…” Eris shambles her way to the door from her previous catnap spot. blinking in the late afternoon sun, it takes her a moment to register the lack of person at the door, and the presence of flowers instead. picking up the vase, she takes another moment to piece together the simile.
“my head? th’fuck d’s that me—oooohhhhhhhh. eeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy” her grin broadens and she finger guns at the empty parking lot with her free hand in appreciation of the horny joke.
the tentacles erupted from the ground around you with barely a thought. you blushed, stammered, and looked back at Eris. "I..."
"yeah, I know. got a mind of their own s'metimes." she chuckled. "It c'n be just you an' me if y'want...
your heart leapt. you never even realized you and Eris having sex was an opportunity.. your mind swam with possibilities. "nah, nah, this is good, let's try this for a while..." you finally manage to sputter out. the tentacles, eagerly yet patiently waiting, took this as their opportunity to cuddle and caress you, nudging you a bit in their way of asking if they could free you of your last bits of clothing.
"oh, huh...uh, yeah, sure..." you absentmindedly say to the limbs coiling around you. a few wiggle in obvious happiness while Eris beams, forgotten for the moment. it's not long before she sweeps you into another deep, passionate kiss, though.
in a flash, her hands and tongue are all over you, caressing skin, biting and kissing places that elicit various yelps and moans, finally settling on running her tongue over the head of your cock for a moment.
you want to buck up into her grasp and beg for more, but suddenly you find yourself bound in a firm yet gentle grasp. more soft, leathery limbs have wound their way across your hips and waist, keeping you from moving aside from a few needy twitches and half-thrusts.
Eris chuckles deep in her throat, kissing her way back up your neck.
"don't want th'fireworks t'go off too early, d'we?"
"please....Eris... Boss....I'll do anything.." you pant, her fingers delicately tracing circles just at the base of your member, stalling between caressing your balls or giving you a stroke up your shaft.
"Boss?" she laughs again. "that's a new one, comin' f'rm you..." her voice is a low purr, rumbling teasingly close to your ear.
"Well....you...you ARE...th'Boss...a Boss...around here, yeah?" you finally manage to pant. this was dangerous territory, and you knew it.
"well then, show me how y'd treat a boss..." her grin turned predatory, her fingers slipping up to your lips, allowing you to kiss her fingertips in obeisance before she pulls them away and commands a few limbs to lift herself up.
in a few seconds she's disrobed and displayed in front of you in all her awe-inspiring glory, spread-eagled and hungry.
"show me y'r loyalty." she growls.
in an instant, the two of you meet, your lips on her nethers, desperately nuzzling and kissing every inch of her you can get. she lets a few whimpers and curses slip before she grabs either side of your head and guides her to exactly where she wants you. you enthusiastically follow her lead and wrap your lips around her clit, sucking her for everything you're worth.
her thighs start to shake, clamped around your head, until you feel a warm, ridged phallus stroke teasingly down the cleft of your ass. you almost forgot about your own need until the gentle tingle of warm lubricating slime works its way back into your nerves. you pull away from Eris just enough to gasp a breath and moan a choice string of profanity.
the tentacle between your thighs takes this as an invitation to nuzzle its way slowly into you, each ridge giving its own subtle pop inside you and slowly stretching you until it's nestled to the hilt within.
you moan against Eris' sex, letting the pleasure rumble up against her as the tentacle buried in you responds in kind, writhing a little to arch against your sweet spots. another tiny limb sneaks its way up to curl around your length and your moan turns into a pleading cry.
the Boss echoes your own pleas for more, rocking her hips against your mouth, all her previous bravado lost in a haze of need. you eagerly indulge her, slipping your tongue between her lips to drink from her before moving back up to lap at her bud.
those ridges make themselves absolutely unignoreable as the tentacle inside you starts to fuck you in a slow rhythm, pulling itself almost out to the head before plunging back into you, adding another curl or writhe inside you with enough frequency to start pushing you towards the edge all too soon.
Eris' whimpers and moans carry the same urgency as her hips keep their pattern of rocking against you, wordlessly begging for your continued worship. you dare a few gasps between sucking at her clit and lapping at her lips, but she doesnt seem to mind.
the tentacle thrusting into you speeds up almost imperceptibly, but you can almost hear the wet sucking noises as each ridge pops out of you and back in with fevered intensity, the base of the member starting to swell to fill you further.
Eris whimpers and snarls again, her hands fumbling at your scalp before her thighs tense around you, you respond in kind by nursing at her clit like it would give you a prize if you sucked hard enough.
she roars her climax, your name almost lost in the flood of profanity, laughter, and moaning that heralds her release, if the flood of juices dripping across and down your chin wasnt a signal enough. you do your best to lick her clean before she pulls you away, claws digging into your scalp and fingers tugging at your hair.
her orgasm was almost enough to distract you from yours. almost. the tentacle buried inside you thrusts harder and faster, the slowly swelling knot stretching you nearly to your limit and pressing against your prostate with each merciless thrust. the tiny tentacle coiling around your shaft moves to caress and cradle your balls as it's replaced by a few deft fingers, and a familiar voice seeps into your lust-drenched thoughts.
"ooh, I think they like you, love....now are you gonna like them back? come for me, pet...."
your body tenses, and in an instant, while her fingers coil and stroke your needy, swollen cock, the tentacle snuggled deep inside you spasms one last time, painting your insides with warm eldritch slime, throbbing with each new load. your smoldering nerves finally ignite and your hips buck and roll with a mind of their own, echoing each pulse with your own release, yelling her name as your come splatters across your stomach in a few hot spurts.
Eris runs her hand across your chest before pulling you into a satisfied kiss, the slime over your body and inside you subsiding from an arousing tingle to a relaxing buzz. she cant help one last growling laugh as the tentacle inside you bumps up against the sweet spot inside you as it pulls out, each ridge stroking your oversensitive entrance as they slip back out of you to let the rush of fluids you've accumulated finally leak out. you tremble and whimper, letting one last absentminded "Boss...." tumble from your lips as she nuzzles happily into the crook of your neck.
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so as with most of my stuff, I literally finished this about a minute ago and WITH NO PAUSE FOR EDITING OR REREADING, TOSSING IT INTO THE INTERNET! WOOOOOOOOOO!
"Yeah, s'been a while, think I'll check up on....uhhh...shit, f'rgot th'planet name. th'one off in sect'r epsilon, by th't
nebula th't looks like a dick 'r somethin'?" Eris laughed at the helm of her ship, the holographic form of Jocelyn shaking
her head and joining along in laughing.
"alright, just lemme know when you want to hang out, I know uncle Meredith misses you, and so do Jack and Yuri, but they don't
admit it as much."
"Give 'em my love, will ya? an' if y'see Charlie b'fore I do, tell 'em I said hi."
the first approach to the planet left Eris uneasy. the prismatic atmosphere and pearlescent clouds were dulled by greasy smog, the previously lush forests sparse and browned. metal spires bristled between the islands, trapping the floating rocks in a web of cables.
Luckily, the plateau she had first landed on was still clear, but the broken pavement and gnarled trees surrounding the site gave her an uneasy sense that she had spent a longer time away from this planet than she had first thought.
picking her way through the rubble, she tried to remember the way to the town she once visited. a few voices, probably children, filtered through the ruined buildings along the road. she brightened a little, recalling the graceful deerlike centaur people who originally greeted her upon her first visit. she rounded a corner to find four youths playing some sort of game in a circle drawn acorss a patch of dirt. their multiple eyes widened in suprprise at the sight of this new interloper and froze.
"Hey, d'y'know where I c'n find th'nearest spaceport, or library, hell, even th'town mayor?" the translator implant in her earlobe glinted at activation with her first hesitant words.
her voice broke the spell on the children, and they bounded off towards a city Eris could see looming just over the empty buildings.
"aw fuck me...." she shook her head and steeled herself for a trek towards the smog-hazed buildings in the distance. as she continued, the rubble and empty buildings gave way to warehouses and factories, nondescript behemoths squatting astride the streets. some belched intermittent streams of smoke, othersa rumbled ominously with the sounds of unseen machinery. rounding another corner, corner, her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a massive statue holding a staff and a gem in either hand. she gaped not only at its scale, but the horns, the smirk, the outfit....it was her.
her awe was short-lived though, as a siren shrieked around her in the empty plaza. doors were flung open shortly and crowds of smock-clad, grime-streaked workers streamed out from every corner. In an instant she was nearly swept up in a flood of dead-eyed centaurs before one gasped.
the reaction was nearly instant, it spread like a shockwave through the crowd as one after another after another bowed instantly, toppling like dominoes in obeisance all the way back into the buildings. it was not long before gruff voices echoed from the factories.
"WHAT, FOR THE LOVE OF G'THERRASH IS GOIN ON OUT THERE?" one barked as he stepped over the prostrate workers and blinked in the hazy sunlight. looking around, he finally saw a bewildered Eris before his face blanched. "Great goddess....A THOUSAND APOLOGIES WANDERING STORM! we weren't informed of your visit, otherwise we would have--get out of my way you wretch!--We would have prepared more for you! where's your entourage? we'll get you drinks, come!"
Eris flinched as the one she could only surmise was the foreman kicked a worker out of the way. he kowtowed at her feet and rose, his vision flicking backand forth between her, the statue, and the higher buildings of the city, now looming closer.
"Well, I....it was just a quick jaunt out, y'know? wanted some...err...fresh....air and decided t'go f'r a walk..." she shrugged, glancing back up at the skyline. she should have noticed before that the highest spire in the city was a lurid shade of purple and gold, adorned with stylized horns. "Gettin' a bit late though, mind if y'give me a lift back?"
the foreman gave her a perfect deer-in-the-headlights look. "of--of course, you magnificence! right away, here, I'll escort you back myself!" his skin under the fine fur instantly changed from a terrified pale to blushing with self-importance. he spun with a tiny bow to present his back to Eris.
she looked around for a second, the braver workers stealing glances at her, entranced with awe, before she moved to throw a leg over the foreman's back. he stumbled only slightly, doing his best to accomodate for the unexpected weight.
"It will be an honor I'll never forget, your grace--" he wheezed before trotting off towards the city. Eris chanced one last glance over her shoulder before they plunged into an underpass at the few workers shakily rising to their hooves.
as they passed through the city, every citizen that caught sight of her dropped to their knees in worship. she gave a few half-hearted, bewildered waves in acknowledgement before they arrived at the skyscraper that her temple had became while she was gone.
they pulled up to a halt at the massive doors, the foreman trying his best not to pant and wheeze from the trip. she hopped off with a quick nod and a slightly bewildered salute.
the doors swung open silently, leading to a high arched antechamber filled with incense smoke and softly glowing lanterns. inside, celebrants and priests were in various states of prayer or contemplation, mostly smoking, burning incense or chanting. they all fell silent at her approach.
"Hey kids, love wh't y've done w'th th'place, but I expected more dancing girls and an open bar."
laughter echoed through the chamber from behind a set of deep purple curtains at the end of the hall. Eris flinched at the noise, it was like listening to herself with a mouth full of gravel, underwater, played back on vinyl. "and who are you to critique my temple?" two armored guards moved from the doorway, took her by the shoulders and forced her through while she was still too distracted with climbing out of the uncanny valley.
the curtains parted to an even smokier room, lined with reverent worshippers and more guards between carved columns. frescoes adorned the walls of the chamber, each depicting various heroic and godlike exploits of someone that at least creepily resembled Eris if it wasnt her. with a clatter of hooves, a few servants scambled out of the way of an altar-turned throne. Eris nearly froze at the sight of her doppleganger sprawled over the gem-adorned carven stone.
horror, bewilderment, and confusion all flooded her mind before she settle on her favorite standby emotion of indignance.
"Who'm I? you fuckin' kiddin' me, y'friggin two-bit impostor? I'm th'bitch who started all this shit yer squattin' on now. G'therrash Ma'acham Sha-aragth, th' fuckin' wanderin' storm, Gamblers consort, saint of murderers, chaos incarnate..."
"...Queen of knives, herald of fate, speaker to the dead, yes, yes, they call me all that too." both pairs of peridot eyes locked from across the room, one burning with rage, the other eerily calm and nearly glassy. the seated Eris regarded her guest like a food critic given a dollar-menu hamburger at a five-star restaurant. "so you can rattle off some names, good for you. Kill the blasphemer." she drawled, with a halfhearted wave of her hand. the guards withdrew ornately decorated guns and trained them on Eris.
ok, indignance no. boiling rage, yes. in a blink, she swept a hand up and dozens of tentacles erupted from the ground to ensnare the soldiers and fling them back through the curtain. she pounced on her double, grabbing her by the collar of the fancy robes she wore, intent on smashing her face a couple times against that throne. what she got was a face full of spit and snarling fangs, as well as a kick to the gut. she went sprawling as her doppleganger's voice turned acidic.
"I dont care if you are who you say you are, I've killed gods before and it wont stop me from adding your pretty little skull to my collection. I've taken your place here already, might as well finish the deal." she hissed before suddenly....Unfolding.
with sickening crunches of bone and ripping of flesh, slick black carapace burst from previously soft skin, revealing wicked claws on multiple slender arms. mandibles and fangs pulled her lips into a cruel mockery of a smile, and legs twisted into rows upon rows of shining centipede coils, each tipped with scalpel-like feet. with an unholy howl, the impostor dove at Eris.
she feinted and ducked under a sloppy claw-swipe that would have taken her head off only if she had the reflexes of a flan in a cupboard. "oh come on, honestly. y'r callin y'rself me and y'cant fight worth shit? all that sittin' on yer arse aint doin' shit f'r y'r reputation."
"SHARP TONGUES WONT WORK AGAINST SHARPER CLAWS!" she screeched, flailing madly at her. Eris danced backwards, finally grabbing an arm and locking it behind her shoulder to pin her to the floor.. "sharp claws won't work if there ain't a sharp mind behind 'em."
she didnt have much time to gloat before the tables turned. the armored centipede coils bound Eris' legs up to her hips, each tiny pointed foot stabbing deeper into her flesh. she grit her teeth and wheezed, trying to keep her grip on the other's arm. "I'm done with the metaphors....I'm going to rip your legs off and listen to you scream." with each word, she squeezed tighter, rivulets of blood running from between the loops of her tail.
"Deus ex machina, motherfucker." letting the arm-pin go just long enough, she signaled to the previously motionless tentacles still barring the door. the sprang to action, whipping around the impostor's neck and arms to choke her. panic replaced her triumphant sneer as all her attention turned to trying to breathe.
clawing herself free of the barbed-wire embrace now slackened by rapidly dwindling oxygen, the Boss took her time getting back to her feet. "Not so fun wh'n y'r not th'one doin' th'crushin, eh?"
by now, every tentacle than she had summoned had wrapped themselves around her doppleganger, waiting for a signal to crush the life out of her.
"Grrrrkkk...grllrt...gyurgh wrggnn..."
"Sorry, what w's that?" the tentacle around her neck slackened just enough to allow reasonable speech.
"You....you win. we can rule this place together. you set....the groundwork....I gave them....the push in this direction....they were a backwards little people and I gave them....you....we gave them direction...industry...we'll reap the rewards together..."
"No, f'rm wh't I see is th't you exploited them, fucked up a really pretty planet, and unless y'r sittin' on a giant fuckoff pile of diamonds and shit I ain't seein much of y'r rewards. I liked these people and you went an' fucked 'em over." she moved in close, her voice lowering to a venomous hiss. "Back wh'n I first started this whole shit, back before I w's a god, or runnin' th'Zin, I w's th'Boss. that meant if you fucked with any of my people, you would die. you'd die a very messy, painful death at my hands. you fucked with my people." she slipped a hand behind her doppleganger's head, weaving her fingers through her hair that seemed a little too chitinous, a little too stiff to be real.
"My people have given me a lot of names ov'r th'centuries, most of which y've been claimin' as y'r own. but I'll share a little secret with you, the one name you don't know...." she leaned in to whisper the last few words in her ear.
then she yanked the fucker's head down hard into her knee, smashing nose, mandibles, and god knows what else with a vicious blow.
"ERIS!"
"MOTHERFUCKING!"
"MALCOLM!"
she shrieked the last syllables as she dug her claws into the sides of her double's bloodied head and with another sickening squelch, wrenched her head free of her body, flinging it over the tentacles, into the antechamber and amidst the panicked crowd of onlookers.
she roared in triumph as the tentacles began to slip back into the void, loosening their grip on the twitching body. twitches that heralded full-on death throes. the impostor Eris may have been slow at fighting, but her death flailings were terrifyingly fast, whipping a leg-studded tail straight into Eris' lower jaw.
blinding pain coursed through her before a backswing knocked her out.
coming back to consciousness, she found herself sitting on the carved throne, still spattered with oily blood. the decapitated remains of the false goddess had been dragged off to god knows where, replaced by a few incredibly timid priests and guards.
"Are......are you....all right?" one finally mustered the courage to ask, while another offered her a bowl of water to drink.
"arghnlth. hrhhk? th'thrck?" she reached for the bowl with one hand and her face with the other. instead of her lower jaw a few dark green tentacles had coiled up to protect her tongue and throat, unfurling from fresh scar tissue around her neck. she regarded her reflection with equal parts horror and amazement before trying to speak again.
"Arghight. hurtgh thut I'h hath wrrth. whrrsth, glarblh, warrblh, blarfharbl aw fuck thith ith gonna be weird f'r a while" the various tentacles slid and jostled for position, trying to decide on a steady position to keep. she didnt even attempt drinking until everything settled down after a few minutes, and it was still a bit of a disaster, dribbling most down the front of her shirt.
"Listhen, I don't know how long that fake me hath been 'ere, but it lookth like she'sth done sthome damage. I apologizthe. you should never have been fucked with like this." pulling herself to her feet, she limped to the doors. she paused for a moment, turned, and strode back to a statue of her before punching it straight in the face.
"Tear all this shit down. burn it, smash it, I don't fuckin' care. your goddess is dead, was dead long before I ripped 'er fuckin head off. f'rget all of this shit, do nothing in my name fr'm this day on."
she stormed out the main doors into the smog-choked afternoon, heedless of the wave of bowing citizens dropping before her all the way back to her ship. she pulled up every star map, every log she had and erased the planets location from each of them, fearing that if she paused for a second, she'd change her mind and take her place in the temple again and rescind her final command to all who heard her.
"And if you ever see me here again, anyone who looks like me or wears my face, then kill me."
taking a page from Greco-Roman culture where there can be multiple shrines/temples dedicated to various aspects of the same God/dess, Eris has a variety of places of worship dedicated to her across the cosmos.
to some where she’s venerated as a being of Hedonism and pleasure, her temples are glorified strip clubs, where sultry basslines fill the night and pole dancers ply their trade while other devotees of pleasure offer themselves to the goddess in holy ecstasy.
to others, she’s a fierce guardian of orphans and lost children, her face, either smiling or snarling, becoming nearly a synonym for places where parentless children can find safe haven, or hapless parents can find guidance and give their children to be raised with proper care.
and to yet more others, where storms and rain govern life itself, she becomes a wandering elemental of rain and lightning, drawn to high places and chaos. find a good meadow, plant some lightning rods, have a party, and hope for the best.
Eris had a knack for connecting people with jobs, and empty buildings with businesses. through a large subsidy from Professor Genki and the Saints, 24-hour Smashaterias popped up in various places, eventually spreading nationwide.
the model is as follows: think a shooting range crossed with a batting cage. people pay a nominal fee for a discrete amount of smashable items (say, $5 for a dozen plates, $20 for a vase, $35 for an old TV, Pierce’s old demo CD’s are free,etc) and some time in a Smash Room. there, they’ll find various fun implements of destruction such as golf clubs, hammers, baseball bats, etc depending on what they can get away with. (some places have flamethrowers and riding lawn mowers. also helmets. plenty of helmets. you gotta sign a waiver first.)
since glassware is cheap and space is plentiful, people can smash shit to their hearts content. boyfriend dump you? smash. passed up for promotion? smash. just having a shitty day? SMAAAAAASH. and since it’s open 24 hours, there’s plenty of time for smashing, employing at least three people for a shift at the front desk, along with a general shop manager and a dedicated janitor to sweep shit up after each smash session. so, the local hobos get jobs, people get a place to blow off steam, the Saints get another shining example of urban enrichment to add to their roster of “Hey if you think we’re just a bunch of violent thugs, fuck you here’s why we’re not. (usually)”
