#erikacker

"I can't say it back."

Eric: Hello? Erik?

"After days of crying because of this, i'm done. You've done some pretty stupid shit in your lifetime, but this is by far the stupidest thing you've ever done. How could you be so selfish? You knew you actually had cancer and you knew were dying and the only thing you say is "i'm sorry?" You're sorry? Do you know how fucking selfish that is? To have everyone believe that you didn't have cancer when you really did? Everyone in the building is disoriented. Even fucking Campbell over here and he didn't even like you. Cody is crying, Sutton refuses to see a move that relates to comics, Brady is throwing things around in his condo like he's the fucking hulk, Claire won't stop crying, and Olivia has shut every single person out including Travis. Do you know how much it sucks seeing Olivia break again about something that you did? Do you know how much it sucks seeing everyone break over the smallest mentions of you? Do you know how much it sucks finding out that your first love died? You knew you were dying and you didn't do anything to warn us until we all received a phone call from the hospital saying you had passed & your last words were "i'm sorry." 

Olivia: I shouldn’t care about this, you know. I really shouldn’t. I should be all fine and dandy with the fact that you aren’t here anymore. That sounds horrible of me to say, doesn’t it, Erik? That I should be fine with you being…not here anymore. Is it bad to say I miss you? I miss you so much, Erik. I didn’t miss you this much when you were still here, but now that you aren’t here, everything reminds me of you again. I already went through this once over you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through it again. I don’t want to go through it again, but here I am, crying over you for the hundredth time and wishing you would just show up and hold me one more time. I shouldn’t want that anymore, I really shouldn’t. But I do and I can’t talk to anyone about it because they would think I’m crazy and I think I am. I think I’m going crazy. You’re making me go crazy and I don’t appreciate one little bit, Erik Acker. I went over to that coffee shop the other day, you know the one you took me when we first met. I had that sugary coffee drink and sat by myself at one of the tables and it took me an hour because I couldn’t get myself to get up and leave. But, I didn’t cry then. I started crying when I drove past the dog pound you got Bucky at. And I parked my car in the middle of the road and I felt like the entire world was coming crashing down onto of me and it hurt so much and it hasn’t stopped hurting since then. I don’t know if it will ever stop hurting, when someone says your name or mentions something that reminds me of you, it hurts and part of me thinks it always will. Everything we ever went through that hurt me is absolutely nothing compared to this. Even when you weren’t you, I was able to have you near me and that made it a bit better. But now, I don’t have you near and it scares me and I don’t know how to deal with it. I love you, Erik. I still do. I always will. I’ll love you until the day I’m up there with you, even though I shouldn’t anymore. I think that’s the worst part too. Still loving you, I mean. Because I feel so guilty for still loving you because I have Travis and I love him more than anything in the world. You were so right about him, you know. You were right about me and him the whole time and I’m sorry. About everything. It was probably my fault for most of the stuff you had to deal with and the things you did and what happened and I’m sorry. I hope you’re okay up there and I hope you’re with Lana again and she’s making you happy somehow. Um, okay, bye. I love you.

Olivia: NOW ITS JUST ERIK LOL

Brady just sighed, reaching to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Erik," he let out the word as a breath of exasperation, trying to be calm as he explained. "You just told me you think unicorns might exist out there somewhere. Please, for the love of God, think long and hard about that statement and what you just said. Did you do it? Okay, great. Now tell me again how right you are." 

"What are you even talking about, Erik?" Brady exclaimed, entirely exasperated. "There's nothing that can distract me from this, it's real life." He sighed and collapsed on the couch, moving to rest his head in his hands. "My parents are divorcing and it shouldn't bother me but it does, okay? Even if their marriage was unhappy, it was still a marriage, they're still my parents. I just want things to be normal. I want my dad to stop sucking and my mom to be happy again. I want a family, a normal one." He glanced up at the man, choking out, "I don't need a distraction, Erik, I need you to tell me to knock this shit off."