#eric garcia angst

“I mean, the train tickets are pretty cheap but it’s almost 7 hours on the train. It kind of defeats the purpose of trying to spend as much of my free time with you”, you complained, closing your laptop and sighing.

“It’s only 2 hours if you take the plane”.

“I guess…I don’t want to make this harder for you by complaining but it’s like when Ferran left for Manchester all over again”.

“Is it?”

Eric’s tone confused you. It was almost like he sounded bothered by you comparing both situations but yeah, your best friend leaving to go to England was similar to your boyfriend leaving to play in Sevilla. Because in both cases you were stuck first in Valencia and now in Barcelona.

“We’ll make it work. That’s all that matters”.

He nodded, smiling at you. And you couldn’t help but move closer to cuddle him. It really was important to make the most out of every single second together. You always had but now that your relationship was turning into a long-distance one, it became even more vital.

Your work schedule was pretty flexible, so your plan was to play it by ear every week comparing yours to Eric's so you could find a way to travel to Sevilla on his days off. And so you could try to attend as many of his games as possible.

“I’ll come back whenever possible too. It’s not fair that only you make the effort of travelling”.

“Yeah, I know”, you said, “I mean, your whole family is here so you wouldn’t be just coming back for me but I’ll be looking forward to that”.

“Don’t tell my parents but I’ll be mostly coming back for you”.

You both laughed and you kept just staring at his face, as if trying to memorize it. And it was while looking at him that you fell asleep. Eric, however, was awake most of the night. And not just because of the nerves of moving to another city and another club again. No, there were bigger issues preventing him from falling asleep.

                                     **

The next morning you took your little suitcase and made your way to the airport with Eric. His family was going to join you there, but they planned on going back to Barcelona later that evening. You, however, were supposed to stay with Eric in Sevilla for a couple of days. It wasn’t going to be your first time visiting the city but it was your first chance to make memories there with your boyfriend.

“Nervous?”, you asked Eric, taking his hand so you could hold it.

“I guess a little”.

“It’ll be fine. Young players going on loan is a very normal thing”.

“I know”, he sighed and you stopped talking about it, noticing he wasn’t in the right headspace for that conversation.

By the time you arrived at the Benito Villamarín stadium, your nerves were getting worse. Sevilla was so far away from Barcelona. What if you couldn’t make the relationship work? What if Eric met someone while you were away? And if he didn’t do well…you wouldn’t be there to comfort him. You needed to stop overthinking because you were about to have a panic attack.

"Ready?", asked one of the Betis people who had been with you since you landed in Sevilla.

Eric nodded, taking your hand and you followed them to the little room where he was going to sign his contract and take photos.

When it was your turn to pose with him and the white and green shirt he was going to wear at the new club, you forced yourself to smile as big as possible. He needed you to be positive so you would be.

"Our car has arrived. Have fun, lovebirds", said Eric's mum before giving you both a hug.

"See you in a couple of days", told you his sister and you nodded. "I can pick you up at the airport".

"Don't worry, I'll call a taxi. But thank you".

They all left, leaving you and Eric alone for the first time since you left your home in Barcelona that morning.

"I booked a table at a restaurant that's supposed to be really good".

"Romantic dinner for two?"

You smiled, feeling a bit more relaxed now that the formalities were done.

The restaurant was great and you didn't know when you'd be able to spend two nights in a row with Eric again, so you also made sure that was special.

But once again, Eric couldn't sleep well. And this time, you noticed.

"Why are you awake? It's only 7".

"I didn't sleep much".

"You ok?", you asked, caressing his jaw and noticing how tense he was. "Eric …".

"I worry about you".

"Me? Don't. I'm a big girl. And it's not as if I'll be all alone in Barcelona. Your family is there and I also have Ferran".

"Yeah, I guess you could always go to him if you feel lonely".

That tone again. What was wrong with him?

You sat up, not sure what was going on.

"What is that supposed to mean? And why are you using that tone whenever I mention Ferran lately?"

"Because I found out about you two".

"Excuse me? What about us two? You know we've been friends since kindergarten. There’s nothing else to know about us".

"I do know that", he said, unsure how to approach his next few words. "What you two forgot to tell me was about how you two used to sleep together".

Eric could tell he had messed up the moment he saw your reaction.

"When did that happen? I must have missed it".

"I saw the video…".

"A video? What are you even talking about now?"

"It's ok. I just don't like that you didn't share it with me. I would have liked to learn that from you two…".

"How am I supposed to tell you about something that didn't happen?!"

You couldn't believe what he was saying. So you got up and started to pack your things.

"What are you doing? You are staying with me for another day".

"No I'm not staying", you laughed angrily.

"Why? Please stay".

"Eric! I don't want to stay with someone that doesn't believe me when I tell him I didn't sleep with my best friend and that thinks I'll do the same the moment he leaves the city".

"I don't…".

"Just stop talking and making the situation worse".

He listened to you and stopped talking. He just looked at you while you packed the few things you had brought with you and didn't do anything when you walked towards the door.

"I don't know what you believe you saw", you said, turning back to look at him. "But it hurts that your trust in me is so easily replaced by whatever thoughts are going through your head right now".

Eric swallowed, feeling more stupid than he had ever before. He really had messed up.

                                       **

Later that day, he was back at the little apartment the club found for him when he heard his phone ring. He hoped it would be you but it wasn't. It was Ferran.

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you know, just that I asked my best friend about why she was back already when she was supposed to stay for a couple of days with her boyfriend and she screamed in my face", Eric sighed hearing that. "And when I asked what the issue was she told me to ask him because he thinks he knows everything. Just quoting so…what did you do?"

"I fucked up".

"I guessed that much, yeah. But how exactly?"

"Ferran, I need you to be honest with me, ok?"

"I always am".

"Did you two ever sleep together?"

There was a moment of silence before Ferrán answered the question. "First of all, gross. She's like a sister to me. Second, where the fuck did you get that idea from? And third, how were you stupid enough to tell her that?"

"I…".

"No need to answer them in order, smart guy. Just answer".

He wasn't feeling very smart just then.

"Someone sent me a video".

"A video?"

"I can send it to you".

"Send it", said Ferran, hanging up so his friend could send him the video and when he saw it, he was even more mad.

Eric was waiting for his friend to call back again. The seconds feeling like hours.

"Is that not you two?"

"Yes. And you're a bigger idiot than I thought. Please tell me you didn't show her the video".

"I didn't".

The video Eric had been sent showed Ferran approaching a group of people at a party. When he made it there, you ran towards him and jumped in his arms, kissing his face and making him laugh. The video ended with you two leaving the place holding hands and the guy who was recording saying "now she's single she'll go back to fucking him again", to which someone else said "she probably was doing that behind Roberto's back".

"Do you want to know what really happened that day and after that little clip you saw?"

"Please, explain it to me".

                                        **

3 years earlier

Finding out your boyfriend had been cheating on you was the most devastating thing that had happened to you. Days were spent crying and not wanting to leave the bed, until one of your friends forced you to go to a party with her and some other of your friends.

Your now ex and you shared so many friends, it was almost like they had to pick sides. Most of the girls picked yours…and all of the boys picked his.

At the party, you saw them but you didn't see him so at least there was that. But it hurt. It hurt a lot. And the only way you thought it could stop hurting was by drinking. One shot turned into four and then shots weren't enough and you moved to something bigger. Something stronger.

You were so wasted, your friends didn't know what to do with you so they called Ferran. He was the only friend you had that didn't belong to that group and the boys always gave you a hard time because of it. To them, he was Ferran the footballer. To you, he was the guy you became friends with when you were both told off for trying to eat the Play-Doh when you were 4.

"Where is she?", he asked, not noticing the phone pointed at him filming him. They did that a lot, hoping they could find him in an embarrassing situation and make money out of it.

"Ferriiiii", you laughed, jumping into his arms and kissing his face.

Ferran put you down, holding your hand so you wouldn't fall or get lost in the crowd. And he led you home.

But you didn't want to go there so he took you to the beach. The place where you were always the happiest.

"The stars are pretty", you said, lifting your arm and trying to touch them.

Ferran only laughed, laying down in the sand next to you and staring at the same stars you were so hypnotized by.

None of you noticed the tide rising and all of a sudden, the sea touched your bare feet, which made you get up and scream.

"Stop that!", said Ferran, grabbing your arms and sitting you down in the sand again, away from the sea. "Never drink this much again, please".

"He broke my heart, Ferri", and hearing you say that broke his again.

"I know. You should let me break his face".

"Just break his dick".

"Too small. Why bother?"

You both laughed.

"I'll never let anyone do this to you again".

"You'll never let me date anyone again".

"I will if you find someone I trust".

You looked up at him. "Maybe I should date you".

And you didn't even finish saying that before you both burst out laughing.

"No".

"No".

                                       **

"And that's you".

"What do you mean that's me?", asked Eric, who had been silently listening to his friend's words.

"You are the person I trusted enough to let you date her. And now you do this. You don't know how long it took her to recover from what that bastard did to her. And those comments from the video? They used that to justify his cheating on her. How could it be wrong if she was my friend? If there was surely something going on between us?"

"You were wrong then. I don't deserve her".

Ferran rolled his eyes, even if his friend couldn't see him.

"You do. But you have to fix this and quickly. Every day she hurts because of you, my trust in you diminishes".

Eric sighed. "What am I supposed to do? I'm stuck here for the next few days and she won't come back to see me".

"Think of something then. You messed up, you fix it".

Eric knew his friend was right, so the next day he asked if it was possible for him to do all the media stuff he needed to do in one day. That way, he could go to Barcelona for a couple of days and talk to you.

“I mean, sure. But it’d be exhausting to do all of it today. That’s why we planned for it to be done in three days”.

“I don’t mind. Let’s do it”.

When you got home after work, you noticed a few things that worried you. There was nothing in the mailbox, which was unusual. And when you opened the door, you noticed it wasn't locked. Who could have…

                                      **

But you didn't have to wonder for long because Eric called your name when he heard the door open.

"What are you doing here? You should be in Sevilla".

"I managed to get back for a couple of days".

"To make sure I didn't sleep with anyone?"

He closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry".

"I'll need more than that".

"I spoke to Ferran. He explained everything to me".

"Why couldn't you speak to me before accusing me of those things? I get he’s your friend and you’ve known him for longer but I’m your girlfriend".

"Because I was scared. I was sad about having to leave on loan and then I got a message with that video and…".

"What video? That's the part that made the least sense out of everything you said to me".

Eric had asked Ferran if it was ok for him to show you the video now and after some arguing about it, they decided you could only understand Eric's reaction if you saw it.

When you took his phone, you saw the name Sergio Goiko as the person who sent it. Your ex's best friend. Of course.

"You might want to see this".

"Now you're leaving Barcelona, she'll be there all alone with her "best friend"...".

"I see you've seen my message and still didn't dump her. She's lucky to be dating someone so dumb. Easier to do all of this behind your back".

The last message was sent the day of his presentation as Betis' new player. Sergio must have seen your photos together and realised his plan didn’t work out the way he expected.

"I mean…I get being manipulated like this can confuse you, Eric. I don't blame you for that. But why didn't you ask me? Why didn't you trust me to explain this to you?"

"I don't know…".

"I…I struggled to trust you when we first started dating. Not because of you. Because of what I've been through in the past. It’s an issue I’ll always have to deal with, probably".

"I never felt like you didn't trust me".

"I didn't think it was fair to let you know that when you did nothing wrong. But I've always worried. I mean, just the other day I was worried about you meeting someone else in Sevilla and dumping me, you know? But I didn't want to tell you because it wouldn't be fair to hurt you just because I am insecure. Don't do that to me".

"I won't. I'm really sorry. And if you ever have those doubts, just talk to me so I can reassure you".

When you put your arms around his waist and your head on his chest, he could finally breathe easily again.

"I made some food for you"

"You did?", you looked up to see him nod. "You really worked hard for that apology, huh?"

"Anything for you".

"Will you learn how to make Andalusian food for when I visit you?"