#eonity

EONITY : Walk The Line

Neues EONITY-Album: “Walk The Line” / New EONITY album “Walk The Line”

Deutsch | Endlich wieder markant-dunkle Sounds aus Bonn: Mit “Walk The Line” liefern die Dark Electro-Spezialisten von eonity ein ganz besonderes Remix-Album ab, denn welche Düsterscheibe beginnt schon mit der Öffnung des Terroristenparadieses Guantanamo für TOUristen? <a href="http://xenobioticrecords.bandcamp.com/album/walk-the-line">Walk The Line by TAXIM v.s. EONITY</a>

Die von TAXIM gesponserte Streckbankparty im Hauptkeller der Anlage besuchten alte Bekannte wie Dolls of Pain, davaNtage, CygnosiC und DEN.C.T.BUG, die dank Alkoholdepression jedoch auch für den einen oder anderen nachdenklichen Moment sorgen konnten. Ja, selbstverständlich sind diese im Bereich der gescheiterten Beziehungen angesiedelt, doch keine gute Party ohne Elefantentränen… Oder?

10 Tracks dauert das beatlastige Wechselbad der Gefühle und würde bei Fans etwas innovativerer Elektrik sicher auch ohne nackte Cover-Haut einen bleibenden Eindruck hinterlassen – mit ist aber schöner.

GEMA & VG FREI!!!

www.xenobiotic.de/releases https://xenobioticrecords.bandcamp.com/album/walk-the-line

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English | Finally some remarkable dark sounds from Bonn (Germany) again: The dark electro specialists of eonity recently released a very special remix album. “Walk The Line” starts up with turning terrorists’ paradise Guantanamo into a TOUrists‘ one.

<a href="http://xenobioticrecords.bandcamp.com/album/walk-the-line">Walk The Line by e<img src='http://www.ultradarkradio.com/wp-content/plugins/tango-smileys-extended/tango24/shock.png' alt='Shock' title='Shock' class='tse-smiley' height='24' width='24' />:nity</a>

TAXIM’s stretching bank party (which was held in the main cellar of the complex) was attended by old acquaintances like Dolls of Pain, davaNtage, CygnosiC and DEN.C.T.BUG. Thanks to alcohol depression, they even managed to create the one or other thoughtful moment. These moments certainly were about failed relationships, however there’s no good party without elephant tears, right?

eonity’s 10-track emotional roller coaster for sure would leave a strong impression even without bare skin on the cover. Anyway, it’s so much nicer with it.

No GEMA, No other development company!

Deutsch | Endlich wieder markant-dunkle Sounds aus Bonn: Mit “Walk The Line” liefern die Dark Electro-Spezialisten von e:o:nity ein ganz besonderes Remix-Album ab, denn welche Düsterscheibe beginnt schon mit der Öffnung des Terroristenparadieses Guantanamo für TOUristen? Die von TAXIM gesponserte Streckbankparty im Hauptkeller der Anlage besuchten alte Bekannte wie Dolls of Pain, davaNtage, CygnosiC und DEN.C.T.BUG, die dank Alkoholdepression jedoch auch für den einen oder anderen nachdenklichen Moment sorgen konnten. Ja, selbstverständlich sind diese im Bereich der gescheiterten Beziehungen angesiedelt, doch keine gute Party ohne Elefantentränen... Oder? 10 Tracks dauert das beatlastige Wechselbad der Gefühle und würde bei Fans etwas innovativerer Elektrik sicher auch ohne nackte Cover-Haut einen bleibenden Eindruck hinterlassen - mit ist aber schöner.

Und das Allerschönste: "Walk The Line" ist GEMA- und GVL-frei!

Anhören | Kaufen

English | Finally some remarkable dark sounds from Bonn (Germany) again: The dark electro specialists of e:o:nity recently released a very special remix album. “Walk The Line” starts up with turning terrorists’ paradise Guantanamo into a TOUrists‘ one.

TAXIM’s stretching bank party (which was held in the main cellar of the complex) was attended by old acquaintances like Dolls of Pain, davaNtage, CygnosiC and DEN.C.T.BUG. Thanks to alcohol depression, they even managed to create the one or other thoughtful moment. These moments certainly were about failed relationships, however there’s no good party without elephant tears, right? e:o:nity’s 10-track emotional roller coaster for sure would leave a strong impression even without bare skin on the cover. Anyway, it’s so much nicer with it.

Because of the length of the piece, I had some difficulties picking out patterns in your writing, so my critique may or may not be applicable to your writing as a whole. As always, feel free to disregard anything that you believe will not help you in future writing.

Obviously this piece isn’t meant to be more than a fluffy one-shot, and because of this I can forgive the complete lack of plot. However, you should watch for this in future, longer pieces, and if you consistently write fluffy one-shots. Keep yourself in the habit of weaving plots in larger pieces; don’t let yourself become accustomed to dealing with action-less snapshots.

A good portion of your piece is lacking clarity, which is a bit concerning considering the length.

Howl appreciated the ocean-struck feeling for five seconds after his bare feet sank into the giving and grainy sand. The whole beach seemed terribly cold and timeless to him. You’d only have to give him another five seconds for him to move on to appreciating better, prettier things. Like Sophie.

This section is causing some problems in particular. You have set up an “airy-fairy” feeling to this one shot so far, and you are flipping between that and more modern language with “five seconds,” “prettier,” and “like.” Be careful with your word choice so that your narrative voice stays consistent. Avoid using the second person “you” when your piece is otherwise written exclusively in third person.

I had to read the above section a few times before understanding precisely what you meant by it. You are having Howl switch emotions too fast. He is appreciative of the ocean, and it seems for a moment that he is going to contemplate it, but then you have him shift quickly back to Sophie. While this is somewhat indicative of Howl’s flighty personality, it’s going to give your reader emotional whiplash. If you are going to set your piece on a beach and mention your character thinking about it, it needs happen have a reason.

- Dr. M

Type: Fanfiction Fandom: Howl's Moving Castle Rating: G TW(s): None

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying