#enneagrameight

Eights do not want to be controlled or to allow others to have power over them (their Basic Fear), whether the power is psychological, sexual, social, or financial. Much of their behavior is involved with making sure that they retain and increase whatever power they have for as long as possible. An Eight may be a general or a gardener, a small businessman or a mogul, the mother of a family or the superior of a religious community. No matter: being “in charge” and leaving their imprint on their sphere is uniquely characteristic of them.

Eights are the true “rugged individualists” of the Enneagram. More than any other type, they stand alone. They want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. They often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and they can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of their actions. Although they are usually aware of what people think of them, they do not let the opinions of others sway them. They go about their business with a steely determination that can be awe inspiring, even intimidating to others.

Although, to some extent, Eights fear physical harm, far more important is their fear of being disempowered or controlled in some way. Eights are extraordinarily tough and can absorb a great deal of physical punishment without complaint—a double-edged blessing since they often take their health and stamina for granted and overlook the health and well-being of others as well. Yet they are desperately afraid of being hurt emotionally and will use their physical strength to protect their feelings and keep others at a safe emotional distance. Beneath the tough façade is vulnerability, although it has been covered over by layer of emotional armor.

To sum it up, our greatest desire is to protect ourselves and be in control of our life (especially with our destiny) Our greatest fear is to be harmed and controlled by others. If we had a propaganda slogan, it would say, “Be Strong.” Challengers loathe the feeling of being weak, powerless (mainly because we have experienced times in our past where we felt powerless), and taken advantage of.

I take pride in being an 8. I thrive on confrontation and being in authoritative positions; not because I want to abuse my power, but because I believe  I know how to handle my authority better than most people (yes, there is sometimes a bit of arrogance with being an 8). I want to use my authority to empower others, make positive changes, and meet needs. 

But these strengths can quickly become my weaknesses, and unfortunately, Satan knows exactly how to deceive me. 

A few weeks ago, I struggled to communicate and manage the students in my classroom. I left work that day feeling teary eyed and discouraged. As I drove down Ronald Reagan Blvd reflecting about how I could have managed better, I heard this voice in my head clearly saying: 

                                                  You are weak. 

The enemy tends to tell me this when I struggle to manage my classes. He tells me I suck at discipline because I am weak and that I allow my students steal my power. He then tells me I’m powerless and makes me feel shame for it. He makes me feel shame that I’m not more authoritative (which I have personal reasons I’ll share for another time) and that I show too much grace. He makes me feel shame when I try to believe the best in my students and avoid battling every single incident that happens in the classroom (parenting advice 101, choose your battles wisely). He makes me feel shame by telling me I’m incompetent. 

Shame.

It’s a powerful feeling that makes us even more vulnerable to lies and deceit. It makes us build barriers and detach ourselves from others. 

But not this time. 

This time when I was driving down Ronald Reagan I didn’t believe his lie. I knew this lie was not from the Lord, and I rebuked it in my head and told Satan what I knew was true. 

I am not perfect, and that’s okay. I will have days where I struggle. I will have days with regret. I will have days where I could have been more authoritative, but none of that makes me weak; it simply makes me human. 

Strength is not defined by the amount of authority or power I have in a classroom. Strength is from God and it’s defined by how I decide to submit to Him and attempt to reflect His love each day.

As accurate as my Enneagram is, I need to remember that there is a danger of always needing control and power. I also need to be aware when Satan uses this against me. God is my ultimate authority, He is always in control, and He does not define my strength by the amount of power I hold in society (especially in a high school classroom).