And I am nothing if not special.

On a related note, Masque of the Red Death X TMS US Season 2, anyone?

First page: 

“Once upon a time, Eric and Shelley lived in an apartment in the cruel streets of 1990s detroit. Eric and Shelley planned on getting married soon. But, the owners of their apartment were crueler than the city of devils itself.”

Second page:

“These men were evil, these men were mean. They’d tore down the happiest home you’d ever see. They mocked the wedding dress, they took Shelley’s breath, and left poor Eric alone in death.

Third page: 

“But a crow came and brought Eric back, and made him immortal, to take down the men who’d caused his pain. Eric painted his face with a, sad, crooked smile, and walked in the rain for a while.

Forth page:

“One by one, the bad men fell as Eric paid visits to each of them, leaving his mark behind each time. All out of anger, not pride. However none of this fixed the sorrow he carried deep inside.”

Fifth page:

“Eric found the man in charge of all whom he killed. They fought. But the man knew of what made Eric immortal, and used that against him. Eric fought hard, determined to avenge his fiance, thinking it would fix his grief. He won. But his heart still hurt. And now his body as well. Maybe his visit would be cut short.”

sixth page:

“Each shadow had fallen. But Erics pain was not solved. He still missed, and loved, his Shelley very dearly. So, the city felt quieter, and Eric laid back down where the winds blew, back to where his Shelley rested, and returned to her in darkness. The crow flew over head once more– its dark, all seeing eyes being the only witness of this loss.”

Seventh page:

Iykyk

Note: please do not take this too seriously chat, I was assigned with writing an open letter for my English class, and I decided I needed to diss on Kevin to my English professor for a little while.

————

Dear Kevin Fiegi, (I know I spelled your name wrong, it is intentional.)

I’d just like to start off with a very sincere screw you. And if this wasn’t a school assignment that my professor is going to read, I would be using some choosier words.

Second, kindly go to Hell. Emily, my apologies. Moving on.

Let’s start with one of the most glaringly obvious problems you created and let happen in the MCU- the confusing and unnecessary death of Natalia Alianova Romanova, otherwise known as Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow.

I can understand Natasha insisting that she be the one to sacrifice herself instead of Clint- it fits her character archetype and offers a solid way for her character to die with dignity. If it weren’t such a stupid idea to kill her off in the first place.

Might I offer an alternative to keeping one of the arguably most important characters in the Marvel Universe dead in the cinematic adaptations? Did we even think about Tony Stark bringing her back with the Infinity Gauntlet when he revived half the world’s population? Did we consider at all that maybe when Steve Rogers made the (horrible) decision to stay behind in the 40’s, he could have warned the team about the dangers in Endgame? Maybe he could have prevented the Snap in the first place.

Maybe, maybe, maybe… so many options, and yet, here we are, onto Phase 5 of the MCU and Natasha Romanoff-less.

More on Steve in a second.

Natasha’s death felt unnecessary, shallow, and forced in order to create a narrative with enough drama and angst to soothe the most particular crowds. While we already had very few strong, main female characters, the loss of the Black Widow only adds the problematic misogyny in the MCU. This is aided by the fact that we received only one Black Widow movie (after she had canonically died, mind you) and have three Iron Man movies, four Thor movies, and three Captain America movies with a fourth on the way.

I’m sensing a pattern here, Kevin. A pattern I do not like.

If we wanted to stay on the topic related to misogyny, we could talk about Wanda Maximoff, and the injustice served to her character in Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. The show Wandavision gave us a beautiful narrative of how Wanda reacted to her immeasurable grief, and wove together an exciting story that provided us with intriguing lore and storyline options. However, in the absolute dookie bomb of Multiverse of Madness, almost every single point of conflict and character development that Wanda experienced was completely trashed and ignored in favor of turning her into a villain for the sake of villainy.

A terrible reason, by the way. Literally what the hell. Kevin. I am so incredibly upset with you.

Back to Steve Rogers, as promised.

Steve in himself is an incredibly in-depth character that absolutely lives up to the hype. He’s Captain-freaking-America. His actions are purposeful, his morals and strong and set in doing what is right, not what is expected. *cough cough* When Steve decided to stay in the 40’s when returning the Infinity Stones, he disrupted several important plot points. In Agent Carter, Peggy Carter moves on from Steve when he’s lost to the ice and finds love and peace and happiness with someone else. Steve ultimately steals back her affection from that life she had built for herself, and the importance she completed in her life with that man.

Have you ever watched Agent Carter, Kevin? Have you read any of the comics that you’re adapting for the screen? Have you seen the movies? The shows? Do you understand the plot lines you’re supposedly in charge of?

Secondly, we cannot forget about Bucky Barnes, even though Steve most certainly did. Remember Bucky, Kevin? Remember Steve’s best and closest friend? The man he promised to always stick with, “to the end of the line”?

No, Kevin. Clearly, you do not remember. Steve absconding Bucky was entirely out of character and makes no sense. What are we even doing here?

Thank you, but no thank you, Kevin. Please hand the MCU reigns over to someone who actually cares about the characters and what the fans want (in a reasonable sense.)

except when its an assignment.

give me a roleplay prompt and i'll write it within 5 minutes. tell me to give a funny review for an amazon product and i'll have it down in 10.

but giving me a paragraph assignment? on a chapter of a book i dont care for?