#endocarditis

“Me? Hatred? Not… being real?? I have NO idea what you’re talking about creator! Come now, let's chat while we walk.”

important stuff under the cut :p

Under the cut you'll find the picture of my teeth a week before extraction, and a picture of my mouth 3 days after. TRIGGERS FOR - Blood/Dental decay/Stitches

I am well aware of the state my mouth was in. Largely, it was down to self neglect but not out of not brushing my teeth, out of fear of the dentist being so strong that small issues were left to become absolutely rampant and unfixable. Dental phobia is never really talked about because it's seen as "everyone hates the dentist" - this was more than that. Hours of crying, hours of hying up just to call to speak to someone without even stepping into a dentist. Not to mention living with the dental decay, pain, and visual representation of the mess I was in. The picture of my teeth prior to extraction looks like those of a long term meth addict. I am not proud of it, but I know that's how it looked and I'm aware that that sounds flippant.

It took being terrified of endocarditis (as I already have heart disease/malformations from birth) to make me agree to the extractions. I didn't want to die and leave my sons without their mum. The fear/phobia was/is that profound.

You're welcome to think what you do - as I said I know what they looked like and I hated it myself. But I just want to show how far someone with dental phobia can progress before things are "bad enough" to accept help.

So, under the cut is my before and after surgery. Look if you like, and by all means have your opinions. I'm sure I've heard them all before! But also if you have any questions, then ask.

You all keep asking about Luigi's Secret updates. And there's a reason I haven't uploaded it in a while. Something serious has come up. I am physically sick. Highlighted messages will shorten the explanation for you.

Back in July, I had to take a couple days off work because of flu-like symptoms. But I got better and went back to work with little issue. Off and on, I would get these days where I experienced flu-like symptoms. My bloodwork was coming back with really high inflammatory markers, which we assumed meant that I might be experiencing a flare-up of Arthritis. I got back on my pain meds and started taking Tylenol as often as needed to overcome the rest of the pain. On August 22nd, I got the day off work and went to my rheumatologist to talk about my inflammatory markers. A normal person's inflammatory markers are 3-10mg/L at most...and my inflammatory markers were 112mg/L. So when my rheumatologist walked in and looked at my joints, he admitted that "With how high your C-Protein (inflammatory markers) was, I'm surprised you're not swollen like a balloon! Something else is going on". He ordered an X-Ray and bloodwork.

On August 24, two days after my rheumatologist appointment, I got the x-ray and bloodwork done that my Rheumatologist ordered me, before going to work again. But at work, I was hit with another spell of flu-like symptoms while at work. I had assumed it was the arthritis flare-up again, so I took a Tylenol and pushed through work as best I could. But I ended up going home an hour early.

On August 25, it was confirmed that I have a bacterial infection. But no one could figure out where it was located as of yet. I felt physically fine, and that's all I really cared about.

On August 26, I felt great! Little pain, excellent mental health, got a lot done that day. I had just come back from Walmart with my Dad, when I found my mom packing up a suitcase in my room. She turned around and said "Your doctor called me and ordered you to be admitted to the hospital. There's a big chance that the bacterial infection is in your heart...and because you have a heart condition, an infection in your heart could be lethal. They want you on antibiotics right away." And...ever since, I've been in and out of hospital. I spend the morning in the hospital, before spending the afternoon on hospital leave to be at home. Then at 8pm, I go back to the hospital to get my next dose of antibiotics. I am still waiting to be admitted to Toronto hospital for an echo and a couple other tests. The type of infection they will be looking for on the echo, is called Endocarditis. And...things are up in the air right now. School arrangements are now also uncertain, as I was supposed to start college in a week. And I've been stressed trying to figure THAT out. It's...a lot. And it's frustrating. Though it doesn't excuse my lack of Luigi's Secret uploads, it does explain them. I'll try to upload chapter 17 of Luigi's Secret tonight to make up for it.