i used to be a mixed origin sys but it kinda went away due to my meds taking away the need for them (theyre still in there, just kinda hibernating) now though i just kinda have a weird thing where i have kinda like 3 distinct personalities that do often mix with eachother but can also stand alone. theyre kinda modelled off fan, paintbrush, and lightbulb, fan just being a bit weird bc hes kind of a pretentious asshole and carries most of my "less desirable" traits while still retaining some of his source identity. think like if fan and silver spoon had a stupid baby ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 which makes sense bc i like silver spoon a lot too, and ship him with fan and paintbrush kind of.

theyre not exactly sentient.... i think.....???? i just kind of act like each of them and it switches fairly often. sometimes i just wake up like one of them, like im in their "mindset" in a way and other times if smth happens to me and i change emotionally than one of them can take over. sometimes its rlly intense, i can just be talking or smth as lightbulb and then i get reminded of smth that sets me off and then suddenly fan is here going on a rant 💔 and i have to be like "SORRY just got a bit out of control" and reel him back in 🥲

(btw yes i do 100000% take all accountability for outbursts and stuff!!! i am still at least partially in control i just kinda let go of the reins sometimes yk. or like the switching just makes me lose grip for a second. again this isnt very much of an issue, just kind of an odd quirk imo lol.)

Also i feel like the only thing doctors can do is prescribe birth control and I have been on one kind (one with only one of the ususal substances) and while it have lowered the pain to only very occasional tame cramps I dont really like it because of the spotting because it is so irregular that I have had to wear pads for like a year and i dont really trust that it works, i would like it to get rid of the whole problem and stop all pain. And the doctors wont put me on regular birth control because im fat so my bmi is too high which means a higher risk for blood clots. Is there anything else they can do? I know some people get hysterectomies but I dont want that now at least cause i think I might want to have kids in the future. Is there anything else they can do that makes it worth it to fight for a possible diagnosis since that may take years and be difficult or should i just cope with it since my symptoms isn't really that bad?

(Also i just ran out of birth control and haven't decided what to do so im really scared that my period will come back now and it will hurt)

First of all, I think you should find a new doctor. I am also “fat” and I NEVER had any doctor refuse to put me on regular birth control. BC has risks and it has pros and cons, as long as your doc is explaining all of that to you they should let YOU make that decision about your own body.

If you are in horrific pain it is not normal. If you are puking and passing out because of cramps that isn’t normal. You are not exaggerating or overreacting. You deserve to get treatment. You deserve to be in less pain. You deserve to have more convenience.

I urge you to try to get a new birth control (for example I’m on the depo shot, least amount of pain I have been in for years on this BC) and if your doc won’t do it find a different one who will. Remember doctors are there to listen to you and help you.

There are various home remedies to try for endo but there is no cure. Birth control will help. The only sure fire way to get rid of it is laparoscopic surgery, and this will only help for some time because the endometriosis will just grow back. (And how much it will help depends on the competence/experience of the surgeon doing it.) I believe I’ve read that even a full hysterectomy doesn’t cure endo.