#emms

Harry at Charleigh’s school friend birthday she was invited to….? ❤️

@emily-l0uise I LOVE YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS

It makes me want to write something about Charleigh's birthday parties!

(2/2) feel bad if i stay away from her because she will be sad.. but my heart isnt strong enough to hold on.. do you have any suggestion..? (please tag as emms)

I wonder why and how you want to stop having an FP- like do you just not want this friend to be your FP anymore or do you want to work towards not needing an FP at all in the future? If you do not want to have this person be your FP right now, I can see how fearing the hurt of ending your relationship with her may be making it hard to consider cutting off your relationship with her. However, if you want to work on not needing and not having an FP in the future, that can be a gradual process and does not need to start by cutting this person out of your life. You could work on setting small healthy boundaries in your relationship instead of ending it, that way you can train your brain to see that it is possible to have a solid relationship and not need an FP. Of course that is going to feel uncomfortable, difficult and terrifying, but it is possible.  Whatever your motive is for not wanting an FP, have you considered, that despite how painful it may be, that there can be a balance where you still have this person in your life? Right now, all you are familiar with is the black and white view of either this person is my FP or this person is out of my life completely. Even if you may not have the motivation or desire to continue a friendship after you lessen your dependence on them, you can still try to maintain one, if not for your sake, perhaps for theirs. If you aren’t seeing a MH professional, I would recommend meeting with one to work on your interpersonal relationships and finding healthy boundaries, without needing an FP, if that is something you want to work towards. In the meantime, here are some links on setting healthy boundaries if you do decide you want to try to work on this with your current FP. Some of them are targeted for romantic relationships, but the concepts apply to most relationships. 

10 ways to build emotional boundaries

Creating emotional freedom

Healthy personal boundaries

Emotional boundaries