#emitophobia

Tw: minor crime, marijuana, passing out, vomit, swearing.

So me (E) and my boyfriend (J) had just rolled ourselves some joints and went downstairs to the garden to smoke them, the garden is accessible through the back door in the open plan living/kitchen area.

So we walk through and my boyfriend's mother (M), who we live with, was watching TV downstairs in the living room. We greeted her as usual, and went outside.

Now, as anyone knows, weed is illegal in the United kingdom (for some *cough*racist*cough* reason but that's not a story for now) so you can only imagine our reactions when she asks us if it's a joint and then she says "can I have some?"

So we give her a couple puffs, nothing too much for a first timer. And she walks off into the kitchen, giggling her head off saying she didn't feel anything (LIES).

In this high state, she attempts to adjust the time on the microwave (WHY?) and struggles a lot, to which my boyfriend comes over and helps her, and gets it onto the right setting. To which she says, "no I didn't wanna do that I didn't wanna change the time" ???????????????????

So we finish our joints and head inside, where we find her with one hand on her head and one on her vape, staring at the fireplace,

J: Are you okay?

M: why is the room moving?

Uh oh.

So we get her upstairs and to bed and she fully blacks out. We're worried now.

A few nudges and raising our voice a little and she wakes up feeling rough as fuck.

M: I can't move.

I move to one side of her and we both help her to the bathroom. She's struggling to breathe now so we're even more worried. J is getting very irate at this point, calls an ambulance and starts blaming himself (bless him). We get her some water and she manages to stutter out that she had had quite a bit to drink (5 bottles of beer would do that to a tiny 50 year old woman).

Ah, that explains everything now.

She then vomits (whitied her first time) and she regains a little more composure. She's still struggling but she's at least answering us coherently now. We get her to her bed again (SIDEWAYS THROUGH A THIN TERRACE CORRIDOR) and get her in the recovery position.

Now it wasn't long until the paramedics arrived, they check her vitals and she's fine. She's breathing normally and her ECG came back fine. But... She wasn't answering anyone at this point. She genuinely didn't answer anything the paramedics asked her at first, and paramedic 1, knowing the situation, made light of it when she was moving by saying "is it good?" a couple times.

Paramedic 2 then leaned in.

2: right M, I'm going to shine a light in your eyes.

M, having suddenly awaken: *pushing her away* noooooo

I fucking lost my shit, I was HOWLING silently in the corner of the room.

So we get her awake, get her into the bathroom as she's complaining about feeling sick. She's still refusing the light and the paramedic asked me to convince her.

E: come on, they just need to check your eyes just for a second and they'll stop bothering you

M: noooo fuck off they don't need checking

With gentle persuasion, M agrees and 2 manages to check her eyes and she was good.

We move her AGAIN down this corridor (with a recently sprained wrist and endometriosis, this wasn't the easiest of tasks) and put her into bed. I take her shoes off and she falls asleep basically straight away once we put the cover over her. A fucking happy ending.