I just ate more guacamole that any single person at this Mexican restaurant behind me and I won a four year old little boy! His name is kelvin,I renamed it to cilantro because it's my favorite herb at this joint and I want to remember this day for the rest of my life whenever I look in his big beautiful brown eyes- or green maybe? I don't know, we're getting to know eachother- but look, I know a bunch of y'all are gonna come at me all hot and bothered saying, "look, this ain't ethical", but guess what? Kelvin's parents are the ones who passed away in that horrific marshmallow accident from a couple of weeks ago, been all over the news, they love the chimichangas- sorry, loved the chimichangas here and they left Kelvin and his little to this joint to figure out what to do with them if the worst happened, well they decided this was the best thing to do, help them find a loving home. And he found that with me! And I'll tell you this much as I shoveled that final little bit of guacamole down my gullet and the timer rang, he ran up to me and hugged me tighter than you ever seen, buddy. But the real joke is on my ex girlfriend, Rhonda, who broke up with me 'cuz she said I didn't have any baby making material left in me. Well guess what, Rhonda? We're gonna egg your door tonight.
