#emberharp

SPOILER WARNING FOR 3x06 of Frontier, “Sins of the Father”

WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK WAS THAT ENDING?

HOW DARE THEY SPLIT UP EMBERHARP!

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

His hatred for all what she represented 

Everything that was not red died for me in that bloody vision.

Grace was my refuge, my only friend when the storm came and shook my naked body until almost break it. She covered my naked body when i tried kill myself in the forest with her own hands, and took me with her.

In my darkest night, In the midst of my cries of pain, his voice was there beside me. -They will always live in your heart, let them live-Grace said to me.

Between my alcoholic mists she pushed the bottle away from me, filling me with new hopes of salvation.

-Do not erase your pain with alcohol, let it out. I have seen what alcohol does to men for years, let the longing for your family rest in peace. Even Christ fell. Even your spirits are in pain, is not a shame let the feelings go out, Declan.

Then i remember how i barely saw her face in middle of that darkness of that High room where she had locked up so I would not do myself any harm.

I only remember what i felt. The acts I did, every movement, every push and every corner to which I submitted to Grace. Everything was reprehensible. Everthing was made in the name of the pain.

In the name of the pain I felt for the loss of mines I let go of all the desire I felt for her, that's the truth.

In the name of mourning and doom, blindness, and as price for what , she demanded of me for doing what she told me, not to crumble at all and to take my life, I demanded her body.

She covered my wet mouth with her mouth instead with the bottle of alcohol and when i caught her, I never let her go again. For days I was pouncing on her like a hungry beast, and we were both part of the darkness. I stripped her of her clothes, broke her pants with those hands that were claws, not hands. I accidentally scratched her body as she opened like a flower almost begging me not to devour her in my pain, my impetus. I stole her virginity when i did not have right. This treasure of her, destined for another man. For her true love, but at same time mine...only MINE...

I whispered in her ear words in my own tongue, and after making love to her I embraced her in the dark as if i was a child in search of his mother, in search of my red angel. We were lovers, but we kept after that time this madness in our minds, the hiddest possible. I left that room when my mind came to me. And now after such years, she receive me as her friend, she yet helps me as she just would have met me. Such is her good heart. Such is her sweetness with me. I feel that i love her with all the few strenght that my heart is capable of, everytime i see her, eveytime she take my hand and ask me to stop. I feel that i´d kiss her lips and i´d want search my salvation with her. But Nuna and my children, they´re dead, they are my past and they´re my reason. Now the only truth between Grace and me is our mutual friendship and alliance. The Ashes of our reprehensible encounter are already part of the past. We are both like two acquaintances, like two distant siblings that we visit sometimes and we help each other kindly. My loyalty to her has grown, as hers to me. There is no longer that passion forced by pain more than small lashes that harass us both sometimes, but still hurt. In her face I read the pain, I know that against her will still awaits me. And I hope she saves me, though it will never happen. We are two friends in the middle of a war, two acquaintances with no more right than respect. Everything has been left behind, but with memories, with reticence. I repeat to myself the name of my wife. "Nuna, Nuna". Revenge is my only reason to live now, and Grace's is survival. That's all we have left. None of us will prevail any furth, i don´t know when i will come back to her again. All what i have is my hate, and that hate does not have the Grace´s name. But Benton´s.