How to Defend Yourself...NOT
āOh Shaitā yelled my father, before the knife even made contact with my arm. I felt it cut, then seconds later, saw the blood run down my arm.
āDad, look what you did!ā I yelled, more pissed off than Iād ever been.
āDonāt tell your motherā he pleaded in self preservation.Ā Ā
āLike she is going to miss thisā I replied, applying pressure to the wound with my apron.Ā
ā Maybe she no seeā he said hopefully. As I pulled the apron away, I noticed thatĀ the wound was not overly deepāhowever the bleeding was significant.Ā Ā ā Dad, I have to go take care of this, I will come down once Iāve gotten some bandages on and made the bleeding stopā.
ā You no need bandages. Use bleach andĀ theese ā he said handing me a roll of masking tape. ā Theese way your mothur no seeā he added.Ā Incredulously, I looked at him, and saw he was totally serious in suggesting I apply bleach to the 4 inch fresh cut on my arm, and to wrap it up with masking tape.
The blood was starting to saturate the 3 layers of apron, and was starting to drip onto the floor. I looked at my father in disgust ,rolled the apron around my arm again, and then stormed upstairs. Moments earlier, we had been working away making strudels for the market. My father, engaged in a story about some street fight he had avoided, says to me āpunch me and I show you how I fiche himāā¦.as he held a knife in his hand.Ā Perhaps I should have been wiser, and used the 15 years of experience life had bequeathed me until then to know that the combination of Luigi Longo, a knife and a street fight story was sure to yield some unpredictable result, but in the light of his enthusiasm, I said āwhat?ā turned towards him, and my father yelled āpunch meāā¦never one to piss away an opportunity to inflict physical pain on Luigi Longo, I lifted my arm to punch my father in his generous gut, when suddenly the arm of the madman (my father) struck out, knife in hand and inflicted a four inch cut on my arm before any punching occurred.Ā What kind of father cuts their child, then tries to get them to avoid getting in trouble from his wife?Ā The one and only, Luigi Longo.Ā