#elvada

Leila and I walked alone together on a forest trail lined by trees so neat it was as if they had been planted in for us to walk together like this. I wasn’t sure why I held her hand or she held mine, but my confusion was nothing compared to the surge of happiness in my chest every time she smiled.

I soon noticed that every time I looked up, she appeared older. We must have both been aging because I felt taller, and I knew she was. I looked around to see dying trees as a cold breeze whipped at my bare skin. In a whirl of leaves and wind, summer turned to fall, but my partner didn't seem to notice. She just kept smiling, and getting older.

Soon, the crunching of leaves under our feet turned to snow and with Winter came her cough. We stopped often because she was coughing so hard, and our walking was slow. She seemed so weak and sick. I could do nothing to help her, though I tried. My attempts did not go unnocticed, and she soon began hiding and repressing her sickness in an attempt to assuage me. Eventually she started showing signs of improvement.

With the next new season, her sickness faded into a muffled weariness that was almost unnoticeable. She was getting much better. The trees were budding and flowers were blooming. She kept stooping down to pick the flowers and slide them into her hair. After a while her hair looked like something you'd see at a royal ball or a wedding. It was amazing how she had done it without even looking. Even without the flowers though, her beauty was radiant.

The days turned hot and everything was fully bloomed. We were walking almost as slowly as before, we were exhausted. I noticed her beautiful creation had turned gray, but the flowers had not wilted. Even when fall returned, the flowers did not die. Leila however, started coughing again. It was back. It progressed much faster this time, she was so sick I was practically carrying her. Eventually, through the bare trees, I saw the end of the path far in the distance. Maybe that's what we had been heading for this whole time. I wondered what was there.

I admired the snow in her hair, looking like crystals on the still thriving flowers. Leila coughed and coughed, until she almost fell down, but she still smiled. Never a frown or word of complaint, but an appearance of happiness.

The cold was now piercing, the only warmth on my body was where she was against me. I wondered if the was mutual. She didn't seem cold, but then, she didn't seem half as sick as she was at first glance. It was like she was trying to appear fine just to keep me from worrying. It occurred to me that maybe in the spring and summer, she still hadn't felt good, but kept it to herself for my sake.

When winter ended so did the path. The last of the snow melted as we took out last step through the trees. I now saw the cliff, hanging over a gray fog I couldn't see though. Leila slid her arm from around mine and hobbled toward it without me. She was so sick, even her efforts of concealment couldn't hide it. Still I wondered, just how ill she really was. As sick as she looked, I knew there was more pain then she was showing. What had kept her hanging on? She could hardly walk. Her appearance told me she should have died from this weeks ago, and I knew that wasn't even the worst of it.

She stood on the edge of the cliff. Long gray hair cascading down her back, flowers and the water left from the snow decorating it like something only an angel could wear. Even in her old age she looked so beautiful. She turned to me, with her back to the cliff, and she smiled. It was weathered and old, but still looked so happy. She bent over with another cough that caused her evident pain, but when she looked back up at me, she was still smiling. She stood up straight, and looked behind her, then back at me. "Goodbye my love” she said as she took a step backward.

I watched in horror as her body fell from the ledge. She stepped off, she had done it intentionally. Without a sound but 'goodbye', she was gone. I rushed to the edge, hoping maybe I could save her, but I couldn't even see her. The haze had already engulfed her.

"Leila!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Over and over again. Never a reply. I felt terrible. A pain I'd never felt before. I thought about everything, why she hadn't left sooner. It finally dawned on me. She didn't want to leave me in the coldest time, so she left me as it started to get warm again. It amazed me what a selfless and thoughtful personality she had. I wished I had that.

I wandered around at the mouth of the path and eventually spotting a little pond. There was an old gray haired man in the reflection that I didn't recognize. I couldn't look at him. I was about to yell for Leila again when I realized how selfish I was. I had just walked with her silently, never returning her beautiful smile. I had watched her stand on the edge of the cliff and didn't save her, but now that I was lonely, I wanted her back. I was disgusted with myself. I walked to the edge of the cliff. I put one foot over the edge, hesitating, then I heard her screaming. I jerked to look behind me and I went off balance. I was falling. This wasn't what I had wanted.