#elsarik

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

           If Iduna was being honest with herself, she knew she had them as well.

           But she was trying, here and now, to focus on the good.

           The best thing was that her grandson was still alive.

           That was everything.

           He was alive with the assistance of tubes that sprouted from his skin and were fastened into place with an alarming amount of tape, monitors and leads to track his heart and lungs, a small face mask, a seemingly endless cacophony of beeps and whirs and buzzes from screens and pumps, but he was alive.

           Iduna stared down helplessly at the baby boy, her only grandson, and silently thanked God again that Elsa had been visiting when it happened.  Alarik had been traveling to Chicago for an academic conference.  If Elsa had been alone with Jenny in New York when the pain had started . . .

           She shook her head.  Elsa hadn’t been in New York.  She had been in her childhood bedroom.  When the pain came and her belly went rigid, the best pediatric hospital in the world was barely fifteen minutes from their front step.  Which is exactly where Dag had been whisked away to once the emergency C-section had been performed.  Alarik had been asleep when his son was born.  Asleep and eight hundred miles away.  And Elsa had been alone.

           Agnarr had nearly lost his head when they had refused to let him back to see her.  That didn’t surprise her.  He was a professor in the humanities.  A historian.  Whereas, she had applied her botanical expertise to pharmaceutical research and was at least familiar with the coded language of medical professionals.  So she had restrained him gently by the arm, thanked her lucky stars that Jenny was safely off with Anna and Kristoff, and tried not to panic because it was very clear to her that the reason they were not being permitted to see her wasn’t out of malice, but mercy.  Something had gone wrong.  With their daughter and their grandson.

           There had been any number of large words and phrases over the next few days.  Disseminated intravascular coagulation.  Hypoperfusion of the lungs leading to failure to achieve functional residual capacity secondary to perinatal asphyxia.  Sustained bradycardia.  Surfactant deficiency disease.

           She wiped her eyes.  He was so tiny.  So tiny.  Tiny in a way that neither Jenny or Neta ever were.  Little Dag was only thirty-one weeks.  And, like his mother, he was alone.  Oh, the nurses were wonderful and the doctors all seemed very knowledgeable, they all adored the staff and the staff adored little Dag.  And yes, there was always at least one family member present, but Elsa had yet to see her son in person.  Iduna had learned from the nurses in the postpartum unit how to manage the hospital-grade breast pump to help Elsa establish her supply.  They were able to carry her breastmilk directly to Dag for feedings or to store it for a later time.  So far, they hadn’t needed to use donor breast milk.  Elsa took comfort in that.  Something she could do for her son.  And Iduna, Alarik and Agnarr had all taken as many photos and quick video clips of Dag as they could store on their smart phones and shown them to her when they bounced between hospitals.

           Still.  There was no substitute for one’s own mother.  And Elsa had cried on her shoulder several times about how she had failed her baby boy.  That had hurt Iduna’s heart to hear those words from her daughter’s mouth.  She hadn’t said anything, merely hugged her, let her cry, and given Agnarr a menacing glare over Elsa’s shoulder when she saw her husband open his mouth to try and rationalize with his eldest girl.  She loved the man, but he had never learned that sometimes words were nothing.  She had sent him back to Anna’s to distract Jenny.

           Jenny.

           Jenny who didn’t entirely understand why Mommy wasn’t back with the baby yet.  Why they couldn’t go back to their apartment in New York.  Why Daddy was crying even when he smiled and called her “Princess”.  But she was energetic and easily distracted by Grandpa, Aunt Anna, Uncle Kristoff and Neta.  Neta had especially been a blessing during these times.  She had been the one to recommend the trip to the zoo.  The art museum to see the tea house and the armor collection.  The history museum with the mummies.  And Jenny had – well, not forgotten about her mother and brother, but been happy to be the center of her family’s attention in exciting places.

           “How is he doing?”  Agnarr asked softly as he came up behind her.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and she leaned in against his chest.  There was stubble on his face and circles under his eyes.  She placed her hands over his.

           “His vitals have been good today.  He’s growing.”

           “I thought he looked a little chubbier.”

           Iduna smiled.  “Well, his suck-swallow reflex is improving.  It’s getting easier for him to feed.”  She paused.  “He might not need the incubator much longer.  The more he grows . . .they say it’s getting easier for him to keep himself warm.”

           “Good,” he mumbled and kissed her on the temple.  “Alarik said that the tests for . . .”  He trailed off and Iduna felt him swallow.  “His, you know, his brain.”  He swallowed again.  She turned to face him and pull him into a hug as his voice broke.

           “It’s still too early to tell.”

           “Yes.”

           “If there will be any long-term impairment.”

           “Yes.”  They stood, holding one another, in a silence broken only by his occasional sniffle.  Finally, he cleared his throat with a cough and shrugged.  “Of course, it could have been much worse,” He said gruffly.  “For Elsa, too.”

           “I just keep thinking of how thankful I am that she was here.  And not in New York.”

           “Exactly.”

           “How is Alarik doing?”

           “He’s excited,” Agnarr sighed and rubbed his face.  “He’s excited she’s getting discharged.”

           “You’re not?”  Iduna frowned.  “It’s been a week.  Elsa wants to see her son, Agnarr.  She wants to see Dag.”

           “I know she does.  I’m just worried it’s going to be hard on her to see him like this.  I know we’ve shown her pictures, but . . .”

           She waited until she knew he wasn’t going to continue speaking unless prompted.  “But?”

           “It’s hard.”  He spoke tersely.  Fists clenched.  “It’s hard to see your child suffer.  It’s hard enough when they’re grown.  I can’t imagine what it’s like for the two of them right now.”  There was silence.  “Dag is so little, Iduna.”

           “I know, dear.”  She hugged him again.

           “Alarik has been steady.  Strong.  He’s barely left her side except to check on Jenny or to come here.”  Dag twitched in his sleep, his tiny mouth moving as though he were feeding.

           “He has.”  She crossed her arms and hugged herself as Agnarr to a step towards the isolette and gently placed a single finger against the plastic.  “I hope this will make it easier for him.  For her.  For the both of them.  Her nurse said she’d be discharged by three o’clock.  Elsa will come right over.”

           “She will, but that’s what worries me.  She’s still recovering from the surgery and the transfusions.  She’s going to have to go home at some point.  To sleep.  To shower.  To eat.  To see Jenny.  And she’s going to hate herself for it.  She’s already tearing herself up about the birth and about not being able to see Jenny.  She’s so upset she stayed on her medications, even though the doctors keep telling her it had nothing to do with what happened.”  Dag opened his eyes and Agnarr smiled down at him.  Iduna joined him, smiling down at their grandson.

           “Hello, little one.  How are you today?”  She chuckled as he flailed a tiny fist, yawned, and closed his eyes once more.  “Excited to see Mama?  I know you’ve missed her.  She misses you too!”

           “Who do you think he looks like more?” Agnarr wondered.  “It’s a bit hard to tell.”

           She bit her lip and thought for a moment.  “I think I see a little of my father in him.”

           “Oh no.  The forehead.  You’re right.”

           “Hush you!”  She gently elbowed him.  “My father had a very handsome forehead.  Let’s just be glad he doesn’t have your nose.”  He laughed at that and draped an arm around her shoulders.  They watched Dag for a few minutes as he drifted back to sleep.

           “Will Anna be coming?  For the discharge, I mean?”

           “No,” she said.  “Kristoff will be by to pick up Elsa’s things.  It’s still too hard for her to be back at the hospital.  We talked about it.  She feels terrible, but it’s the right thing to do.  Elsa even told her as much on the phone.  Practically forbade her from coming.  Things are going to be difficult for the both of them for a while.”

           “I’m sure Alarik will make sure Elsa is taking her pills.”

           “Pharmacology has its limits, dear.”

           “I suppose you would know,” he sighed.  “But I mean that he’ll take care of her.”

           “Oh, yes, of course he will.”

           “Mr. and Mrs. Runardsund?”  She turned at the sound of the nurse’s voice.  “Dag’s parents have just arrived.  They’re checking in.  I’m so sorry, but I’ll have to ask you both to step out.”

           “Right,” Agnarr said.  “The visitor limit.”

           “I’m sorry about the policy.”

           “No, no.”  Iduna waved a hand.  “We understand.  It’s best for the baby.  His immune system isn’t fully formed.  And, you know, security concerns.”  She bowed her head towards Dag.  “Goodbye for now, little now.  Be good to your Mama.”

           “We’ll see you tomorrow, Dag,” Agnarr promised.  They walked down the hall and he held the heavy security door for her.

           “Mom!  Dad!”  Elsa called from the check in.  She was still in a wheelchair and looked exhausted.  Alarik already had a colorful band on his wrist that identified him as a parent.  Iduna could see the unit clerk preparing one for Elsa.  “You aren’t staying?”

           “Only two visitors at a time, darling,” Iduna said as she stooped to give her daughter a hug.  “You enjoy your time with Dag.  He’s cute as a button.”  Agnarr was giving Alarik a hug as well.  She thought they both looked as though they needed less coffee and more sleep.  She didn’t imagine that either of them would get that for some time.

           “It’s for the best, Elsa,” Agnarr said and went to hug her as well.  “His immune system is still weak.  Besides, he’ll want to see you and Alarik the most.  We’ll go to Anna’s and take Jenny and Neta out for a treat.”  Iduna gave Alarik a hug.

           “Will the nurse be recording?”

           “I asked her to,” he replied.  He looked as though he had aged in the past week.

           “I’ll text you some video of Jenny saying hello.”

           “Thank you, that would be wonderful.”