Winter turns to Spring

Papyrus Gonolek (Laniarius mufumbiri), family Malaconotidae, order Passeriformes, Uganda

The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.

I need some fresh meat in my inbox so here's some random writing prompts thought up in my own head. A couple are a bit more nsfw, but nothing too explicit--more on the suggestive end of things.

"You sure can be a himbo sometimes, you know that?"

"Who'd date a Cryptid anyway? Any takers?"

"Wouldn't you rather be a wereoctopus instead?"

"I'll put my hand on you, not in you, is what I meant."

"You ever think about who you are in other universes?"

"Why so deep all of a sudden?"

"What random out-there trivia would you like me to throw at you?"

"Are you sure they don't have telepathic powers?"

"So, what video games are you into?"

"Nice flex, dude, no one cares."

"You don't find my rambling boring? Really?"

"So who cares if I want to hang out with the lab "weirdo"?"

"Let's make it a dance-off and a bad pun...dance-off at the same time. Tap dance and puns, yes?"

"Someone please tell the weather gods to take a chill pill."

"Eh, this is nothing. Really. Geologists are hardcore, you know."

"So, uh, what kind of puns will turn you on if I whisper them in your ear during sex?"

"So you run hot, huh? And I run cold. You know what that means."

"I think the full moon is looking suss tonight. No, I'm not high."

"I'll show you a giant bore."

"Wow, dorkbananas? That's your nickname for me?"

"They're so far out of my league you'd need a telescope to see that far!"

"I open mouth, you insert foot. Know what I mean?"

"Do you want me to hug as many plushies as I can in one go?"

“How safe would it be to, uh, "climb your tree" while up in a tree?"

"Ejaculation? That's the word you chose?"

"Fuck my life. Of course I mis-spelled this on my powerpoint in front of 100 people."

"Didn't stop to read the fine print did you?"

"Are you turning this into a staring contest?"

"Abysmally unforgettable. Or would it be Unabysmally forgettable?"

"How many people can you fit between your legs?"

"If I hear one more "do you get your rocks off" joke as a geologist..."

"Wow, you really are dumb as fuck at this staying alive thing aren't you?"

"Are you comparing people's thighs again?"

"Listen but there are way too many cat jokes for this to be comfortable."

"Is this your way of telling me you have a praise kink? Because I'm into it."

"The squareness of jaws is the new... "foot size"? That's a new one."

""Sideways pirouette"? Are you flirting with me?"

"Rewind? Like just press this button and we just...go back?"

"Next person to not make a lame joke about my profession gets a kiss."

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I could take you out to dinner."

"You ever think about what we'd say instead of "mooning" if we didn't have a moon?"

"Let me etch-a-sketch how big a dick you are being right now."

"Dinosaur tax? What the..."

"Jellyfish don't have bones, right? So what do they say when they have a bone to pick with another? What would you say?"

"How many rocks do you think could fit in my car?"

"Please don't threaten the door. It's feeling a little alarmed by this ruckus."

"Biceps or quads? Debate starts now."

"Excuse me, I'm the ship wrangler here."

"This cranium can hold so many weird thoughts, you know?"

Amazon made their service worse, to force people to pay for Prime.

Nowadays, if you order from Amazon, there is a week long delay before your package is shipped. (on purpose)

I remember when orders would ship out the same day. (I remember - it was real)

YouTube didn't used to have ads. Now, ads play in the middle of videos. (it's worse than TV ever was)

The best can opener I have owned is over 40 years old. Modern ones just don't hold up as well. (The ones I bought new broke ages ago)

The bread machine my mom got for her wedding lasted 30 years. It's been replaced twice in the last 5 years. (How can you fuck this up?)

The cardboard tubes in the middle of toilet paper rolls have gotten larger. (This too?) Companies increasing the price of the product while selling you less. (REALLY?)

It sounds crazy. (it's the truth) When you talk about it, YOU sound crazy. (it's true)

Even when people believe you (do they really), all they can say is "it sucks". (it's too big) Because the problem is so big, so pervasive, what can we even DO about it???

To get the necessary laws written and passed, we need politicians, to get the politicians elected we need information campaigns, to fund campaigns we need money, and all the money is being hoarded by the people profiting from enshittification. (it sounds so fake)

That said, these tags were what I needed to hear:

we're all gonna make it