#ellebetic

Here’s me above trying to be positive about my body image on my instagram (@ellhoward) with the pump attached to me. I wanted to be somewhat of a positive influence for girls with diabetes and show that you can embrace your body while wearing an insulin pump. At the end of the day though you still need to feel good about using it. You also need to be able to see results too. You can definitely learn to love the pump, but I did not. I hated it. Why? Because it interfered with not just my life but with my already near perfect management. Something I wish I said to myself before going on an insulin pump is ‘why fix something that isn’t broken?’. I’m kicking myself for wasting time, effort and a shit load of money on something that didn’t improve my life.

In this post I’ve tried to explain the reasoning behind ditching the insulin pump. It was not just one thing that put me off - it was everything. I hated everything about it.

It did not make me happy.

I didn’t feel good with the pump on. It was more of an inconvenience than anything. It did not help me take my mind off the fact that I am a type 1 diabetic. Of course we have to always be aware but the machine right there on me was a constant reminder. I would look at it and feel sorry for myself. I didn’t like that feeling.

It did not make my blood sugar levels better.

I made myself wear it for nearly 2 months and watched my levels get worse than before. I was constantly playing around with the doses and the results were not improving. Apparently, going on the pump helps you reduce your insulin doses down but because I had already following a diet to help me take low doses I actually ended up needing more insulin than before.

It was not easier than manual injections.

Constantly having to input data, change doses, unclip, shower, reclip, change the infusion set, change the line, rewind, refill the cartridge blah blah and repeat all the time. I would rather just simply stab myself with a tiny needle than deal with all of that.

It was uncomfortable.

Having a tube and machine attached to me was so annoying. I work in the kitchen of a cafe and it was always getting in the way. On one occasion I was taking two orders out to a customers table and it unclipped and was just dangling by the tube from my stomach in front of them. It was embarrassing. I couldn’t wear tight clothing because you could see it. Not to mention sleeping. Try rolling to the other side over a plastic machine and getting the tubes tangled. The number of times I forgot about it and have stood up causing it to rip out from my skin. It was annoying!

It made me put on weight.

As I said earlier, I needed more insulin daily on the pump than I was taking with manual injections. So therefore because I was on more insulin I gained the weight to go with it.

It made me anxious.

I worked so hard these past 6 months to get amazing results and after going on the pump I was knowingly ruining them. I was paying hard earned money to do so too. It made me so on edge. I was upset all the time and in a terrible anxious mood which in turn was causing higher blood sugars too.

I did not feel good about myself.

Even though my boyfriend was really great about it - I still didn’t feel sexy with it on. I mean yeah you can unhook the actual tube and machine part from your body for up to 2 hours a day but you’re still left with the infusion site and 10cm of tube hanging off you. Having the Dexcom G5 attached to me was enough. Don’t get me wrong now, I’m not saying that it isn’t sexy having the tubing attached to you, I’m just saying that I personally did not feel sexy. It made me feel insecure about myself.

It cost me fortune.

I’m going to have a bit of a rant here. If I didn’t have health insurance this machine would have cost me so much more but thankfully it’s covered under basic Hospital. So I did have to be admitted to hospital overnight in order to claim the $10,000.00 machine cost. Which is so ridiculous! This machine is not worth $10k. Come on now it’s 2016 -  the technology should be way more advanced. For example take the Omnipod - have you seen this machine? I wish it was subsidised here in Australia but for some stupid reason it is not. Anyway I’m getting off track. I pay a higher monthly premium so that my excess is $250 instead of $500.

In order to go on the pump I needed a Diabetes Educator to authorise it. I was also seeing a new Endocrinologist whom I feel was intimidated by my great Hba1c results I had when I first started seeing him. So I feel like he only suggested going on the pump to be my next move because well, what else could he do for me? I had perfect management all by myself. A few consult fee’s with him and the diabetes educator cost nearly $1000 (some was rebated by Medicare but I was still out of pocket a substantial amount).

The biggest shock was receiving another $1000 bill from my Diabetes Educator for explaining how to use the pump for that 1 day in hospital. It didn’t even include the cost of the follow up appointment. I felt like the pump was just a sales pitch - that this educator didn’t assess my lifestyle or understand if it would benefit me or not. It was more like an easy $1k for her instead. Fair enough the pump is a wonderful solution for those that don’t have great management. If you need to reduce your total daily insulin dose then the pump is for you. If you have sporadic overnight blood sugars then it’s for you. If you don’t have a problem with having a machine and tube attached to you then yeah, it’s for you. But I didn’t have those needs and I did not like the idea of having it attached to me. I was told that I did need it though. I was told that it was my only next option to have even better management. I was even told that if I want to have a baby that I ‘have to be on a insulin pump’. Bullshit I say.

My blood sugar levels did not go under 12.0 for the first two weeks on the pump and the educator was vague on changing doses. Not to mention that the doses I was on were already higher than what I was on doing manual injections. It just didn’t feel right. My body was not responding. Before the pump I had consistent levels under 6.0. I’m still trying to get my levels down after removing the pump a couple weeks ago.

I fucking love bread so it was devastating when I changed to a low carb lifestyle. But then I found this low carb bread by Herman Brot. It’s so damn delicious and only 2.5g carbs per slice (rather than over 15g per slice of regular bread). Diabetic life ain’t so hard no more now that I don’t feel deprived. 

Love it toasted like this below with some vegemite and peanut butter.

 Or like this grilled cheese using vegan Bio Cheese...

I really only eat this when I’m getting my period, hungover or having a rough day and need cheering up. This shit will not help you lose weight haha but it’s good to have the option of enjoying a guilty pleasure without the result of high blood sugars.

Here’s what it looks like...

& the nutritional info...

I found it at my local Flannery’s health food store. 

Enjoy!

Have you ever been so exhausted and thought to yourself in the morning ‘How the fuck am I going to get through this day?’. I have and I’m sure many of you have too. Usually you get to take advantage of sick days and weekends to refuel, but others aren’t so lucky. I was one of those unlucky ones haha. Running your own business that requires you to be there 7 days a week is tough. Don’t get me wrong it’s pretty damn awesome I get to work for myself, but hell it was hard in the beginning. It’s still hard but at least now I get the occasional day off when I can. However at the start, getting up at quarter to 5 every morning for 10 hours of work every single day for 94 days straight was very exhausting. How did I get through it? Well, Exerstend got me through.

I worked 94 days straight in the busy kitchen of my new cafe before I even got a day to sleep in. My boyfriend and I opened the doors to All-Time Coffee Co. in Mermaid Beach in September 2015 and the first day we ever decided to close was New Year’s Day. We even opened Christmas Day haha what on earth were we thinking? Well anyway I survived and all thanks to taking Exerstend Beta-Alanine. I remember when the bottle ran out - those few days were a struggle but that was how I was able to recognise just how much taking this supplement was helping me. I didn’t feel as tired, I had more energy, my mood was better and I was able to power through each day without crawling into a ball on the floor of my shop. Then they released a new product (which might I add is my favourite supplement of all time) called Advanced Diet & Blood Sugar Support. Combined with taking the Beta-Alanine these products enabled me to improve my fitness, burn fat, control my blood sugars and balance my hormones. I noticed a significant improvement in my blood sugar levels after taking the ABS in just 2-3 weeks.

The owner/director and research behind the science of these products is Rhenan Nealon. I knew that the existence and drive of this company was because his father and brother both have Type 1 Diabetes. This made me want to trust in the product more and use them properly to help myself. I started doing finger prick tests more often to document the improved results. It made me want to learn more about what really is going into my body, what it gets turned into, and how it effects my metabolic profile. I found a whole new motivation to improve my quality of life. If this one guy (whom does not even have the disease) can dedicate years of difficult study and research just to help people like me then I owe it not just to him, but to myself, to try. All we can do is try.

Just 3 months ago my health was terrible. Although I had more energy and my blood sugar levels had slightly improved, I still wasn’t following an appropriate nutritious diet or exercise program. It says right there on the bottles that I needed to do this for optimum results. My hba1c was 13. This was when I started looking for more help with my diet and I found the book that helped me gain better control of my blood glucose levels. It gave me the knowledge I needed to change my diet and combined with taking Exerstend (and 3 months doing so) I was able to lower my hba1c down to 6.4.

I don’t know if many know this but for every 1% above a hba1c of 5, increases our mortality rate by 28%. With a hba1c of 13, I was killing myself. I actually felt like I was dying. But now I feel great. I’m healthy. All of my blood tests are within normal limits for someone my age and gender. I never imagined myself growing old and living a long happy life until now. Even though I still have diabetes, at least I have the comfort of knowing that this disease will not kill me. Why? Because now that I’m more aware of how everything works it’s enabled me to have the same blood sugars as a non-diabetic. 

Rhenan Nealon is who made me more aware. The positive influence of just one person trying to help is what helped me. He inspired me.

So yeah I would like to say thank you, Rhenan. Thank you for creating Exerstend. I’m so grateful for your constant support and for the friendship we have now. You saved my life.

I only hope my story can do the same for others.