#elijahfeathers

these are all great birds to have! And they’re all very behaviorally different..! The following paragraphs are generalizations about each species based on my personal experience with them:

Hawke couldn’t take it anymore, and so he went outside – outinto the gardens of the Amell mansion, where the hard slick press of theKirkwall summer sun had him sweating in moments. He grabbed a shovel as hewalked.

Hawke had been slowly working in the back corner for quitesome time, clearing out the remains of what had once been a fountain, but nowwas an irreparable pile of overgrown rubble. He stuck his shovel into theground, and shoved his foot against it, forcing it in deep.

His mind took itself in circles around the problem he wastrying to avoid thinking about.

When Hawke was upset, he worked. He was a large man, and apowerful mage, and he did not want to allow his anger to train itself intoviolence – so instead of training with his staff or his spells or even astraw-stuffed punching bag, he worked. He wanted exhaustion in his limbs andsweat in his eyes. He wanted to reach that sweet point where hisbrain turned off and his anger numbed and he was free. He wanted to work out hisfrustration, and put himself as far from his problems as he could, until he wascalmer, and better able to think things through.

The shovel hit a root, and he snarled as he jabbed at it,trying without success to cut through with the tool. The events of theafternoon kept running through his mind, and he jabbed with a little moreforce. The shovel head caught in the root, and the handle broke. With somethingthat was nearly a scream of frustration, Hawke through the handle away and fellto his knees in the dirt, plunging his big hands into the hole as if he wouldchoke the life out of the damned root instead.

He managed to work the shovel head loose, and threw it away,then continued to tear at the root. He snarled, ripped it, finally, from itsmoorings, and chunked it as far as he could.

“Are you throwing rocks?”

Hawke sat up quickly, guiltily. His breathing was heavy, hischest heaving. He sat back on his heels, and looked at Aveline.

“Roots, actually,” he said. His voice was hard. He grimaced.“I’m…gardening.”

She looked at the ruined fountain, then at the hole Hawkehad dug. She said, slowly, “Pretty,” and Hawke snorted.

“Right,” he said, “Well, now that your curiosity is sated…”Hawke began to return to his work.

“Your brother is a tit, Hawke. This is not new news.”

Hawke sat back again, and looked at Aveline once more. Heconsidered lying.

“Running into Carver was just the icing on the shit cake ofmy day,” he said, as she came to squat in the dirt beside him.

“Shit cake?” she repeated.

Hawke took a breath. His hands were shaking. He sat down,hard, in the dirt, his wrists resting on his knees, and his eyes on thefountain. It wasn’t going to be easy to say out loud. Aveline was one of thefew people in his life who wouldn’t rest until he did.

“I – overstepped – with Fenris. Again. I almost…” Hawke cuthimself off with a frustrated sound, and pushed his hands through his hair. Hetook stock of what he was about to say. It wouldn’t be fair to say too much. Hemade himself speak slowly. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me,” he said. “Iwant to respect his boundaries. Then I – forget myself. He’s going to end uphating me.”

“Fenris couldn’t hate you if he tried.”

Hawke shook his head. He could see him clearly, that morningin the Hanged Man. Fenris was still wearing the red band, and he’d been smilingand at ease. Hawke forgot himself, reaching for him. His fingers brushed hischeek, and the warmth fled Fenris’s eyes, became something like panic.He’d jerked away as if Hawke’s touch burned.

“I need to let him go,” he said. But every day he saw himwith that splash of red at his wrist, he lost all of his determination. Howcould he give up when there was still hope? He couldn’t help but to think –maybe today will be the day things will go back to the way they were. He didn’t want to give him up.

“Fenris doesn’t hate you,” Aveline said, firmly. “Who do youthink asked me to come check on you?”

Hawke looked to her at last. He didn’t answer – didn’t quitebelieve what she was saying could be true.

Watership Down tattoo design done for elijahfeathers!

why stop there

I know you really mean well, but honest I could rant for hours about how the future is very bleak for me, and my country right now. Like honestly I know many people who can’t afford to heat their houses. It is a luxury that many people can not afford. Honestly I doubt anything could make me feel better today.  

We wear extra clothes instead, we layer up. It is the more practical option. Even people who normally cope overall, don’t often put the heating on, because the cost could be better spent else where.  

Food banks are really common, people can’t feed themselves. Like the actual crisis food banks with the hampers. You are only allowed 2 in a year. Which is meant to feed a family of 4 for 3 days. When you can be cut off from any kind of income for months. 

The recast debate at the moment, it just a harsh kick in the face that my art is less, and less likely to be the hope that gets me free of the benefit system.  

The thing is, I know at the moment I cope well money wise. I know I am luckier then most. However I know I could have that money taken away from me at any time. Whether or not I am actually sick on their system. Since it is a sliding scale lottery and they just want to cut the numbers and they don’t care how. 

People have died because of this. 

People have been declared fit for work, and then have died from their illness during their appeal.