#elijahcoates

The members of the Spetsgruppa Drakon Pushki stood by as Eli said good bye to his brother.  The three of them work their dress uniforms as they stood on the marble floor of London’s St. Pancreas station.  Gregori and Vikenti both stood tall in their black suit jackets, black pants and polished black shoes.  Their grey shirts were pressed, and their red ties, knotted neatly.  

Viktoriya’s hair was brushed to a jet black shine, and then twisted and tied at the back of her head.  Her makeup was applied neatly and subdued, her lips still painted red, and her eerily light eyes rimmed in black, but her eye shadow was a tame shade of brown.  Viktoriya wore her black jacket and trim skirt, grey blouse and red tie.  Her black heels were polished to a shine, and she held the leads of Ceres and Dinah in her gloved hand.

Eli was rarely the most casually dressed in a group.  He wore his favorite oxblood shirt and black tie with a pair of grey slacks tailed to his legs.  He hugged Levi good bye, as Lin stood behind them.

“Are you sure about this, Eli?” Levi patted his little brother on the back.

“I already sold my Benz and gave up my lease.  All my clothes and books are in those bags.  I’m sure, Levi.” Eli told him.  He wore a smile, but his eyes searched the station.

“I sent the message to her, Eli.  I didn’t get anything back.” Levi told him, meeting his brother’s eyes.  

While Valentina had completely walked out on Eli, she’d kept contact with Levi.  When Eli decided to leave his apartment, he’d asked Levi to let Valentina know that he was moving, and selling anything he wasn’t required to give back or needed to take with him.  Is she had left anything behind, that it would be her last opportunity to get it.  After that, he’d asked Levi to send a message to let her know that he was leaving London, and England all together, and it would be her last opportunity to see him.  She was noticeably absent.

“I guess you were wrong, Levi.  It wasn’t love.  I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t love.” Eli shook his head with a sigh.

“I thought it was. I don’t know who sits by a hospital bedside for eight weeks, and then walks out over a night out.  I even told her that you didn’t do anything.  I don’t know what happened, Eli.  But you deserve better.” Levi shrugged.

“I know.  I’m still broken hearted over it, but I’m moving on.  We’re going to start getting active with this investigation. This is…  This is the right thing to do.  This is what I am meant to do.  And I think these are the people I’m meant to do it with.” Eli told him.  His brother was starting to tear up.

“Good luck, Eli.  I’m going to miss you.   I love you.” Levi pulled him in for another hug.

“Thanks.  I’ll miss you too.  And I love you.  Good luck with Lin.  And I’ll try to come home for New Year’s.”  Eli promised as he hugged him back.  Levi nodded as they parted. 

Eli didn’t look back as he walked back to Viktoriya, Vikenti and Gregori.  He wanted to look back at Levi, but he was afraid if he did, he wouldn’t have the courage to get on the train.  Viktoriya handed the leads over and gave him a smile.  She looked beautiful in her dress uniform, and if he hadn’t already seen it, he’d never think that she might have a tattoo spanning her entire left arm.

“Ready to go, Coates?” She asked. The other men boarded ahead of them.

Eli gathered the courage to look back at Levi and Lin, at London, at the life he’d cowered from, run from, hid from, denied, sacrificed for, built, torn down and embraced.  He looked back to Viktoriya and nodded.  Eli had not held anyone’s hand in what seemed like an eternity, so he was surprised when he felt her hand slip into his.  

Eli woke up with only hazy memories of his night before.  Valentina had left a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water out for him on the nightstand.  Or maybe had when Levi help Eli into his room.  Of course, Valentina wasn’t there when he woke.  He searched the apartment, before taking a lonely shower, dressed, took his dogs out, and then returned to the apartment to have breakfast.  Eli only had Ceres and Dinah to keep him company.  He had a headache, and had expected that, but the souring nerves in his stomach kept him from eating much.  The last time he’d felt this bad, they were on their way to Fairgarden.

He tried to relax himself.  Eli watched the second half of a movie on television, not caring as Dinah and Ceres sprawled out on the couch with him.  It was as if they could sense Eli’s mood.  Ceres would look up at him and nuzzle against his arm.  Dinah licked at his hand in hopes to cheer him up.  After two more hours, and another terrible movie, Eli forced himself off the couch.  He took the dogs for another quick walk, and then took a trip down to the property’s pool.  Eli had hoped swimming a few laps would clear his head, but it didn’t.  The thoughts preyed on his mind, worrying over where Valentina was, if she was okay, and why she hadn’t spoken to him since Friday night.

She still wasn’t home when he returned the pool.  After another shower, Eli dressed in a pair of sleep pants.  It was getting late, and he thought of ordering dinner, but his stomach still wasn’t with him.  After another walk with the dogs, and another movie, this time one of his choosing, Eli eventually decided to make himself some soup.  He was standing in the kitchen, naked to the waist, in his sleep wear, stirring a pot of condensed soup at eight in the evening.  That’s when Valentina arrived home.  She didn’t meet his eyes.

“Where have you been?  I was worried.” He asked, but his telepathy hit a wall.  Eli found that being forced out of some one’s mind gave him a headache.  And being shut out of your girlfriend’s mind gave him heartache.  He turned off the burner on the stove, and trailed her as Valentina ignored him on her way to their bedroom.  This felt familiar.  He’d done this before, just not with Valentina.

“Would you stop following me?!” Valentina shouted at him.  He’d cornered her in the bedroom, though he hadn’t meant to.  Eli only wanted her attention.

He tried to speak, mentally, but she was resisting.  And she didn’t know sign language.

“Don’t you get it, Elijah?  I don’t want to be around you right now.  I only came to get some clothes.”  Valentina’s tone was venomous.

He held out his hands to echo the confusion Eli wore on his face.  Valentina shook her head and staring looking for her bag in the closet.  He was still watching her when she returned.

“What? God, Eli, I didn’t want to do this now!” She sighed.  Valentina walked to the end of the bed and sat down.  “I want you to quit your work for the CIA and the Russians.”

“Why would I do that?” He asked, surprised to be let in.  “Things are going well.”

“Because, I don’t want you working with them anymore.  I don’t want to see my father’s memory tarnished by this ridiculous investigation.  Just let him rest in peace, please.” Valentina pleaded.

Eli was genuinely confused.  Her words seemed to come out of nowhere.  “Valentina, I know he’s out there.  I’ve spoken to him.  Mentally, yes, but I have spoken to him.  Don’t you want your father in your life?”

“I have a father, and he’s the one I spent my weekend with.  He might not be my biological father, but he’s the one I’ve got!” Valentina raised her voice to him.

“It was Colonel Lytton that recruited me for this assignment, Valentina.  He wants my help to find Captain Sima.” Eli tried to remain calm.  They only thing he feared more than how this conversation was going to end, was the idea of hurting Valentina along the way.

“He is pulling his support tomorrow.  And if you love me, you will too!” Valentina threatened.

“Valentina! What has gotten in to you?!” Eli got to his knees on the floor to meet her eyes.  “I thought this is what you wanted.  You’ve been looking for him since before we knew who he really was!”

“Have I?  I was just trying to write my paper.  It was you that lured me into helping translate those journals.  And then you made me start devoting school time to it! Then we were driving to crazy people’s houses! Eli, this is going to get you killed! This will get me killed! You have to stop, or we have to stop!” Eli was sure their neighbors could hear Valentina’s voice.

“We need to stop?  What is that supposed to mean?  Are you going to break up with me if I don’t quit my job?” Eli asked, dumbfounded.  He couldn’t believe the situation he found himself in.

“I should break up with you over a lot of things, Eli.  Lying to me, taking advantage of me, putting me in danger.” Valentina stood up, pushing at Eli’s shoulders as she got to her feet.  He fell back and scrambled to stand up.

“When did I lie to you?  When did I take advantage of you? And when did I knowingly put you in danger?” Eli was getting defensive.  He was now actively holding himself back.

“Are you going to give your notice tomorrow or not?  Can you give up your little fantasy about being the shining knight?” She spit at him, ignoring his question.  Eli was appalled at her behavior.  It was her voice, and her face, but something felt so wrong.  Or maybe he was just already missing her.

“There is not fantasy about being a knight.  Valentina, I’m doing this for you.  So that you can have your father back in your life.  So that a man can live free, and not in a prison.  To ease Colonel Lytton’s guilt.  It’s the right thing to do.  And I’m not going to stop.”  He left her mind before he could shut him out.  He didn’t need to hear her say those next words.  He knew what was coming.  It was like taking a punch to the nose with your eyes wide open.  The pain came before impact.

“Good bye, Elijah.  Don’t call me.  I’ll send someone for my things.”  Valentina sneered at him before storming out.  The door slammed.  Eli was alone.  He was in shock.  He wasn’t sure how things had gotten to this point.

Eli and his brother sat at a table trying to carry on a conversation, but the younger Coates brother could not stop watching the door.  Every time the bell above the pub’s entrance rang, Eli’s gaze went to it.  Dinner had come and gone, as had their first and second rounds.  Valentina wasn’t here yet.  He hadn’t seen her all day.  She was ignoring his messages too.  Eli had already thought about, agonized over, and washed his hands of the idea that he’d done something to offend her.  Now he was just worried.

The door opened, and the crowd parted to let the new comers in.  Viktoriya Sima and her entourage were unmistakable.  Gregori stood a good head above anyone else in the bar.  Eli caught glimpses through the crowd of Viktoriya’s face.  She wore an expression of nerves and hopes, wondering if she was in the right place.  A moment of vulnerability on her otherwise calm exterior.

At first he didn’t think she looked much different than what he normally saw her as.  Her ice-and-violet eyes were rimmed in black, and shadowed in a smoky grey, and her lips were painted a dark red.  Her dark hair was tied up, off her neck.  As Eli got up to meet his guests, he noticed Viktoriya’s clothes.  She wore an oversized thin electric blue tee shirt over what he’d first thought was a black skirt, but turned out to be a strapless dress.  She’d turned to ask Vikenti something, just before Eli approached giving him a view of the curious twist in the back of her tee shirt, and showing off her well-formed muscular back and shoulders.

Eli tapped her on the arm to get her attention, then smiled.  He waved them made each of their name signs, “V” down the left arm for Viktoriya, making the sign for “G” with each hand and gesturing from his chest, circling out for Gregori and a “V” straight down his chest for Vikenti. Eli moved his open palm toward his chest twice, and then held both hands at his chest level and pointed down.

“Eli, thank you for inviting us!” Viktoriya leaned in to say.  She smelled like cigarettes and an alluring perfume.  Eli wasn’t sure what is was, but he liked it. “I was nearly dead of boredom!”

Eli gestured from his forehead with his right hand in a loose fist, his thumb extended and brought it down to meet his left hand with both index fingers and thumbs extended, and then gestured back toward Levi.

“Guys, over here.  Eli and his brother have a table.”  Viktoriya kept a hand on Eli’s shoulder as they edged through the crowd back to the where Levi was sitting.  After introductions were made and drinks were ordered, Viktoriya leaned in again, “Valentina’s not here?”

Eli tapped his index and middle finger together twice, and shook his head.  He shrugged with palms up.  He wish he had something to tell her, and hoped Viktoriya didn’t think it was any reflection on herself.

“It’ll be a good time, just the same.” She assured him, patting his arm.

Once the drinks had arrived, all worries were forgotten.  Eli quickly learned that one of the things Viktoriya did in her free time was dance, and once she found out that the DJ took requests, she only left the dance floor for another drink.  A few times she brought Eli out onto the dance floor with her, and he didn’t mind too much.  Viktoriya wasn’t flirting with him, she danced with Gregori and Vikenti too.  She was just looking to have a fun night out.  It was well after midnight when she snuck up on Eli checking his phone.

“I’m going outside for a cigarette… Are you okay, Eli?”  Viktoriya asked.  They were both passed drunk and on their way back to sober.  Alcohol only served to stave off their hangovers at that point in the evening.

He nodded, and signed to her.  He pointed at himself, then at the door with both hands, made two fists with his hands together, and pointed at her.  Still a little tipsy, Viktoriya didn’t understand at first.  He simplified the message by offering his arm to her and gesturing to the door with his head.  She got the idea this time, and took his arm.

Out in the cold of the evening, Eli watched her light up a cigarette.  He sat down a bench, and was surprised when she sat down beside him.  Viktoriya offered him the cigarette, and after a moment of hesitation he took a drag.  She laughed as he coughed.

“That was your first, wasn’t it?” Viktoriya’s tattooed hand plucked the cigarette back out of his hand. “I hope you didn’t do that just so I would think you are cool.”

Eli shook his head, and took his phone out again.  He had no messages waiting for him.  He hadn’t missed any, and the last he’d received had been from Gregori asking for directions.  He made a “V” over his heart, pinched his index and middle finger to his thumb again, and then made a motion like he was texting on his phone.

“Are you in a fight?” She let out a smoke ring, and then blew a plume of smoke through the ring.

Eli shook his head no.  He shrugged again, looking confused.

“Eli, I’m sure it’s nothing.  She’s probably asleep already.” Viktoriya tried to give him a smile.  Eli took the cigarette again, and this time didn’t choke as he inhaled.  She shook her head as she warned. “Those things are a nasty habit.”

Eli laughed to himself, only signaling his amusement to Viktoriya by blowing smoke out of his nose. She laughed with him, and patted his knee.  Viktoriya lit another cigarette, letting Eli keep the first one. They sat in silence as they finished.  Both butts were dropped on the pavement and stamped out by Viktoriya’s black pumps.  Eli noticed the electric blue bottom to her heels.

When she looked back at him he caught her gaze.  Her eyes were mesmerizing.  He’d never seen eyes like hers, a purple ring around a nearly clear blue iris.  After a moment, Viktoriya looked away.

“We should get you home, Eli.”  Viktoriya got to her feet, stumbling in her heels for a moment.  Eli stood up and caught her before she fell.  She laughed as she regained her balance. “Let’s get you back to your brother.  I have a feeling he’s taken a drunken Eli home before.”

So far, Eli was enjoying his work as consultant for both the CIA and the Spetsgruppa Drakon Pushki.  Each organization paid him well, and separately.  His hours were steady.  Every work day started ten in the morning, broke at one for an hour lunch, and then resumed working until five in the evening.  His work was consistent.  If the group wasn’t tearing apart some former office or residence of Mikhail Sima’s they were systematically digging through his journals and research.

They had developed an assembly line-like process for evaluating Mischa’s papers.  Gregori and Vikenti would translate the books and reports into English.  Eli would review the translations, making note of anything strange, or seemed like it might be connected to his disappearance.  Those notes would go to Viktoriya, where she would read what Eli had passed along, and try to piece the information into what they already had, trying to make a bigger picture.

Murroh didn’t help much.  Unless he was guiding them to a new location, he actually didn’t help at all.  He spent most of his time back at his own hotel – he stayed in a different location from the Russian, with his wife, or out with Valentina.  Eli didn’t seem to mind though.  Valentina was happy to have her father around, and honestly, Murroh wasn’t more of a hindrance when he was around.

The Russians were all very nice to Eli.  Gregori and Vikenti’s English skills weren’t great, but they were always polite.  They would have to use Viktoriya as a translator, but the fact that they didn’t ignore him because he was mute made Eli feel valued.  The conversations weren’t only limited to work.  Gregori liked to talk to Eli about soccer and beer, and Vikenti liked Eli’s suits. 

Eli often ate lunch with Viktoriya during their hour out of the office.  She was as strict about getting work done, as she was with putting the work aside.  During their meals, they often talked about learning to sign, learning Russian, or music.  Sometimes he would insist on only communicating with her if she signed to him, but still carried on conversations.  There were other times when Viktoriya would only speak in Russian to Eli, albeit in very simple sentences.  She was throwing Eli into a crash course, he was doing the same to her, and both were doing better than they would be with books alone.

Eli never worked on the weekend.  Viktoriya gave everyone Saturday and Sunday off to worship as they wanted, even though she did not attend any form of service herself.  Eli sometimes wondered what Viktoriya did during her free time.  Judging by her appearance, he assumed she worked out in her hotel’s gym, or maybe practiced her sign language.  Eli hoped she had another hobby to keep her busy.  She seemed too nice to be sitting, bored and alone in her hotel room.

Eli arrived home Friday evening with his mail tucked under his arm and his umbrella hanging over his wrist.  It had been raining that morning, but the sun had prevailed by lunch time.  Eli wasn’t sure what to attribute it to, but even he noticed the modern update to his wardrobe.  This time he wore a slim cut navy button-down shirt with a slightly darker navy tie.  His dark grey slacks were tailored to his build, and held up with a black belt.  Just as he dropped his umbrella in the stand, Ceres and Dinah were running to him, barking happily.  With two quick snaps, both dogs were quieted and seated, though they were still fidgeting.

“Don’t let your little girls play you, Eli.  My dad and I had them out an hour ago.” Valentina called from the kitchen.

“Is he still here?” Eli asked, looking around the apartment with his hounds at his heels.

“No, he left.   He was taking Ekaterina out to dinner tonight.  I guess every night is out to dinner when you don’t live here, but they were going someplace nice.” Valentina explained.  She slid to his side and planted a kiss on his cheek. “How was work?”

“Good.  We translated three books so far.” Eli returned the kiss, and then threw the mail down on the table.  He never told her any details about his work.  Eli had signed documents, holding his tongue regarding such matters. “How was your day?”

“Nice.  I went shopping for my fall wardrobe.  I took the dogs to the groomer.  Got my nails done…” Valentina scrunched her nose as she thought. “And then my dad came over and we talked for a while.”

“Was it something important, or just family togetherness?” Eli watched her go through the mail.  There was another letter from Utkin, but Eli just ignored it.  Instead, he took a seat on the couch, letting Ceres rest her head on his knee and Dinah lick his hand.

“We were talking about his work mostly.  What he could tell me.  The Russians keep a lot from him.  I’m sure there’s more to that story than what he tells me, but it’s none of my business. We talked about New York City, and London, and some other things.  Nothing you need to worry about.” Valentina told him as she returned to the kitchen.

“Are you already cooking?  I thought we could go to the pub tonight.” Eli looked over his shoulder at her.

“I have a meeting tomorrow morning, at eight.  I probably shouldn’t.  I was thinking about a small meal and then maybe a movie here at home.  We could have a nice night in.” She suggested.

Eli’s eyebrows rose over the frames of his glasses, but he didn’t say anything.  He calmed the dogs, giving the sisters attention until they were satisfied.  Dinah and Ceres shared a large dog bed by a heat vent.  He’d given each of them their own at first, but they preferred to sleep curled up on one another.  In a way, Eli was reminded of himself and Levi.  They could have their own lives, but they just felt happier when their sibling was close.  Watching his dogs took his mind off of Valentina’s behavior.  Something wasn’t right, but he wasn’t sure.  

With the recent changes in his life and his schedule, Eli and Valentina saw less of each other during the day.  Most of their time together was in the evenings at on the weekends.    They had dinner together every evening, Eli and Valentina went out to see movies and concerts, or go to a bar, and they spent most nights together, in the more meaningful sense.  Valentina said she was fine with the arrangement, but up until just a week ago, she was still asking him about meeting with Utkin. 

Valentina slipped in beside him on the couch, breaking him from his thoughts. “We’ll go to the pub tomorrow night.  I’ll call Levi and Lin and invite them too.”

“Maybe we should invite Viktoriya, Gregori and Vikenti too.” Eli offered, taking her hand.

“Oh.” The smile faltered on Valentina’s face.  “Yes, we could do that.  If you think they’d accept our invitation.  Captain Sima doesn’t seem to like me, Eli.”

“No, she likes you Valentina.  You are her cousin!  It’s just difficult because of work.  I’m sure if it was just a social call, you two would be friends.”  Eli reassured her.

Valentina stood up, wandering away from the couch again. She didn’t say anything at first, and Eli couldn’t tell if she was mad or if he had offended her with the suggestion.  He turned to watch her, but it seemed that Valentina was just making dinner.  

Eli was in a better mood in the morning, but not by much.  Despite, not having anything left in his stomach, he was woken in the middle of the night to vomit again.  He had trouble getting back to sleep after that, so he just held Valentina in his arms.  He had time to think, and that wasn’t a bad thing.  He vaguely remembered the conversation with Valentina the night before, and Eli knew that something needed to change.

The morning found him alone in bed with a dull headache and the smell of sausage cooking coming from the kitchen.  Eli crawled out of bed and fumbled for his glasses.  He found Valentina in the kitchen cooking breakfast, still in her pajamas.  

“Good morning, Eli.” She smiled at him over her shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Alive, at the least.  Sorry about last night.” Eli put his hand on her hips as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“As long as you are feeling better today, it’s alright.  But you really worried me with some of the things you were saying.” Valentina turned under his touch to put her arms around his neck.

“I know.  I’m sorry.  I love you, and I didn’t mean to do that to you.” He looked down, but Valentina tilted his chin back up to meet her eyes.

“Eli, stop apologizing.  You have nothing to be sorry for.  I only want to help you be happy.”  She leaned up to give him a kiss on the lips, short and sweet. “I’m making eggs and sausage for breakfast and your tea will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Valentina.  For this.  For everything.  It’s a lot more than I des…” Eli cut himself off with a sharp look from Valentina.  He forced a smile and corrected himself.   “It’s a lot more than I expected.”

Valentina ushered him to the table.  The newspaper had been left out for him, along with a glass of juice.  After he sat down, his tea appeared, and then his meal.  Valentina brought her own food over, long with some coffee and joined him.  There was a tension between them, but not one of anger.  Valentina was still concerned for him.

“This sausage is very good,” Eli broke the silence, sort of, as he ate.  He was hungry, and despite fears of losing his breakfast aside, ate seconds and thirds.  His appetite made Valentina smile.

“I’m glad I made so much for you.  Honestly, I expected to wrap most of it up for left-overs.”  She paused to eat.  Unlike Eli, she wouldn’t speak with her mouth full.  Eli’s method wasn’t as impolite, and could also be fully understood while he spoke. “So what time is your meeting with Dr. Utkin?”

“He didn’t say.  And I didn’t have any messages from him.  I’ll just go later this morning, after I get dressed.” Eli shrugged.

“Do you want me to go with you?  I wouldn’t mind.”  Valentina offered.

“I think I can manage on my own.  I do appreciate the offer though.  You should just do something to relax today.” Eli smiled again, this time more naturally.

“Alright, but if you need me, just call and I’ll be there.” Valentina reached across the table and took his hand.

“I promise, Valentina.  If I need you, I will let you know.”  He gently squeezed her hand.  Valentina laced their fingers together, taking his hand as she stood up.

“Alright, Eli.  Hmm, you want me to relax today? Maybe, if you are feeling up to it, there is something I can do to relax, and to make you feel better at the same time.”  Valentina took his other hand, guiding the both to her hips.  She bit her lip as she looked down at him, slowing moving her body under his touch.

“Valentina?” Eli was surprised.  She was being very straightforward, but he couldn’t complain.  “The bed or the shower?”

She leaned in, kissing her way up his neck as she pulled him from his seat.  Valentina led him down the hall to their bedroom.  The door closed and Eli’s hands immediately set to stripping her clothes away.  Her fingers curled at the drawstrings of his pants, tugging the knot loose and pushing his pants to the floor.  Valentina had only a moment to admire his body before Elijah walked her to the bed.

Valentina didn’t have to choose between the bed or the shower after all.  Eli had enough passion and renewed vigor to go twice.  Valentina mused over the advantages of a hearty breakfast as she watched him dress.  Eli worried more over what to wear than she did.  He stood in a pair of black trousers, his black suspenders hanging down around his hips as he agonized over what color shirt to wear.

“Are you going to get dressed?” He asked, looking over his shoulder at her.  Valentina laughed, and stretched out in bed, in no particular rush to cover her nudity.

“Why? Is it distracting you?” She teased.

“You know that you are distracting me, but you don’t have to be naked to do that.” He smiled.  After a moment he took out a Prussian blue and held it to his chest with a questioning look.

“Oh, is that new?  I like that color on you.  It brings out your eyes!”  Valentina cooed at him as she slid from the bed and helped him into the shirt.  She did up the buttons, leaving the top few open and pulled his suspenders up, taking every opportunity to touch Eli.

She left him to tuck in his shirt and roll his sleeves, finally getting into some clothes of her own.  Valentina picked out a coral cotton sundress and pulled it on over her strapless bra and panties, then stepped into a pair of sandals.  As she worked at the delicate clasps of her shoes, her phone began to ring, breaking the silence in the room.

“Hello? Oh, Dad! Hi!” Valentina’s face lit up as she heard her father’s voice.

“Hey, Valentina!  Guess what, Katya and I are in London!” Murroh enthused.

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming in? Eli and I would have come to pick you up!” She cradled her phone in her hand and stood up.  Eli watched her with an interest in the conversation.

“We got in at five this morning.  I wasn’t about to wake you.  So… This is weird to ask… Is Eli with you right now?” Valentina could nearly see the uncomfortable expression on Murroh’s face.

“Yes, we’re together.  Is something wrong?” Valentina met Eli’s eyes.

“Well, I’m not sure I want to talk about it over the phone, but it has to do with a job offer.  Can you meet me for lunch?”  Murroh asked.

“A job offer?  For Eli?  Well, Eli has a meeting with his professor…” Valentina was interrupted by Eli waving his hands.

“Your father has a job offer for me?  For what?  Does he want to meet?”  Eli asked.  In her mind, his voice had a tone of concern mixed with curiosity.

“He wants to meet for lunch,” Valentina told him after excusing herself to her father. “But what about your appointment with Dr.Utkin?  Are you bailing on it?”

“I can get expelled this afternoon, or tomorrow, or whenever.  Let’s go see your Dad.  It’s not like he’s in London every day.”  Eli laughed.  He was wearing a carefree smile, unusual on his face, but he wore it well.

“Hey, Dad.  Sorry about that.  Eli and I would love to have lunch with you.  Where should we meet you?” Valentina took down the address, and time.  She said her good byes to her father before packing up her purse.

“Eli?” She called to him, catching up with him in the kitchen.  He was washing the breakfast dishes.  Valentina couldn’t help but smile.  He looked so cute doing domestic chores.  “Hey, are you serious about the expulsion thing? You don’t care?” 

“No, I don’t.  I couldn’t get back to sleep last night, so I got to thinking about it.  Denvellia can’t be my life forever.  I always resisted Levi’s want to help me, because I wanted to be an adult.  But as long as I hide in Denvellia, I’m not really an adult.  I realized sometime around Christmas, that I was still acting like a teenager.  I lived in a dorm, I didn’t have a car, or a job, or any serious commitments in my life. And I guess some part of me believed that if I was still in school, I was still a student, and if I was a student, I didn’t have to grow up.”  Eli turned from the sink.  His hands were still wet when he reached for hers.

“I get all that… Sort of, I guess.  You missed out on all the best parts of your teenage years in high school so you didn’t want to let them go from college?” Valentina tried to follow his logic.

A warm June evening found the lecture hall to be a jovial place.  The three remaining first year students of the Gifted Studies program, Valentina, Julianna and Naveen were being celebrated.  Surrounded by their six upperclassmen, the three girls were applauded.  While no one was dressed quite as well as Eli – wearing an ivory waistcoat and pants over a black button down shirt, everyone looked great.  The fourth years had arranged a catered dinner, the fifth years set up a modest bar, and the second years, Jamie and Mike, brought in a stereo with some music.  Valentina was dancing with Eli, still marveling at the grace of his movements.  She wore a dress he helped pick out, a black sheath dress, accessorized with a bone-colored belt and matching lace half-palm gloves.

The night had been filled with a delicious food, drinks, and dancing.  The research classes mingled and joked, not about their work but about their lives, their interests, and their experiences in the program.  

Patrick, a handsome fifth year student cleared his throat to get the attention of the others.  It was Patrick that had stepped up to help the first years while Eli was in the hospital.  “Naveen, Julianna, Valentina!  You have survived your first year at Denvellia!  You will go down in the books as our first all-female research class!  To our lovely ladies!  Congratulations! You are second year students!”  Patrick announced in his thick Irish accent.

Hayley and David, the other fifth, now sixth year students, passed out confetti poppers to everyone.  The students set them off one at a time, at first, but after the first four, it became a chaotic rain of colored paper and glitter.  Eli surprised everyone by pulling three bottles of champagne from behind the lectern, and then set eleven glasses on the desk.  His class applauded his generosity, until he took one of the bottles by the neck and started shaking it vigorously.  A chorus of playful screams rang out as Eli popped the cork, and he sprayed the others with alcohol.  When the champagne shower subsided, Eric and Gianna helped pour and hand out the glasses, and the Gifted Studies program began their toasts.

“To Valentina, Julianna and Naveen, the newest members of our family!” Hayley lifted her glass.

“To Patrick and Elijah, for leading them into the fold.” David toasted.

“To Elijah, for having the balls to take Dr. Utkin’s place!” Eric laughed through his toast.

“To Valentina, for finding a way to get that stick out of Elijah’s ass, even if she had to go up there after it herself!” Jamie joked.  Eli was too drunk to be embarrassed.  Instead, he pulled Valentina into his arms for a kiss as their friends laughed.

“Who do we toast for Duke’s dropping out?” Mike asked, getting another round of laughter.  Pulling out of the kiss Eli raised his glass, pointing to himself.  He didn’t let Valentina go, keeping her close to him.

“You did not!” David accused.

Eli nodded insistently, and let Valentina speak for him.  “He says that he conquered Duke’s woman and shamed his masculinity.  Also, Eli’s drunk, and lusty.  But really, it was Billy Duke that led to his own undoing.  He is now the unhappy father of a bawling baby girl.”  Valentina felt a little guilty for making a joke of Liebe and Billy Duke’s misfortune, but they did bring it on themselves.  Before she could feel too badly, Eli pinched her butt.

Around them, their friends toasted and celebrated.  She wondered if every June was like this for the Gifted Program.  Did the other programs celebrate this way?  She had never seen Eli so happy in lecture hall.  He was wearing a smile he usually reserved for more private scenarios.  Ignoring the rest of the room, Eli caught her mouth with his, giving her a passionate kiss.  His hands slipped around to the small of her back, pulling her to his chest.  Valentina put her arm around his neck, placing the other hand to his face.  Around them everything stopped.  They both expected to have drawn attention with their affection, but everyone was in shock when Eli finally let Valentina go .  The room was silent.  The music had stopped.

Thump-step-step.  Thump-step-step.  Thump-step-step.

“Meester Coates.  What have you dune to the lecture hall?” Dr. Utkin looked around in wonder.  “Eet smeels leek France een here.”

All the students rushed out as fast as they could, leaving Eli and Valentina alone with their teacher.  Valentina’s scar was camouflaged in the flush of embarrassment.  Eli quickly tried to straighten out his vest and act like he wasn’t drunk.

“Dr. Utkin, we are so sorry.  We were just celebrating the end of the semester.  I suppose things got out of hand.”  Valentina tried to explain.  She found her way back to Eli’s side and took his hand.

“And wheech one are you, dear?” Dr. Utkin poked his cane at the empty bottle of champagne on the floor, the same one Eli had used to celebrate.

“Oh, my apologies.  I am Valentina Lytton.”  She suddenly felt hot.

Eli tugged at his collar and rubbed his face.  He felt panicked.  He put his hand to his chest, moving it in a circular motion around his heart.  He pointed to himself, and then made a sweeping motion across his left palm with his right hand twice.  Eli fixed his glasses.  He was feeling sick.  Was this was what normal teenagers felt when they got caught by their parents?

“Eeleezhah, what has happeened? Nyet to the room.  What happeened to you?” Dr. Utkin stepped closer to inspect Eli’s appearance.

Eli made the circular motion in front of his chest again, his eyebrows knitted together above his glasses. He’d disappointed Dr. Utkin.   With his hands poised before him, he moved his hands, palms down from side to side, and finished by putting his lips to his right hand before making gesture with his thumb pointing up toward the ceiling.  His face looked pained.  Valentina became worried.

“Eli, are you okay?” Valentina put her hand to his forehead, but couldn’t tell if he was feverish, or simply worked up from the surprise.

“Eeleezhah, calm down.  We can talk about all thees in the morning, da?  Do not worry about the mess.  I weel have it cleaned up.  Go home, geet some reest, and stay out of trouble.”  Dr. Utkin clapped Eli on the shoulder.  By now his student was going white.  Eli moved his hand from his chin out ward as Valentina led him away.

The celebratory spirit was gone from Eli.  His hands were shaking as Valentina hailed a cab.  He took off his glasses and rubbed his face.  His eyes were stinging.  Unaware of what was going on around him and wrapped up in his own mind, Eli was surprised when Valentina pulled him into the backseat of the taxi.

“Eli, what happened in there?  You weren’t acting like yourself?”  Valentina worried over him.

“No, that was me back there.  I disappointed Dr. Utkin.  I was supposed to take care of the program.”  Eli held his head in his hands.

“You did take care of the program, Eli.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  You only feel badly because you are so drunk.  Let’s get home.  You can take a warm shower, and I’ll make you some tea.  You’ll feel better in the morning.” Valentina promised him.

When they arrived home, they did just that.  Valentina pointed Eli in the direction of the bathroom.  As he stripped off his layers of clothes, he could hear Valentina calling the dogs, taking them out for a walk.  He caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror as the water heated up.  Eli barely recognized himself; he’d changed so much recently.  His mind, either clouded or clarified by alcohol and guilt, wasn’t sure if those changes had been positive.  

Somehow, he stumbled into the shower and tried to relax under the hot water.  His career at Denvellia was most likely over.  He should probably start looking for a job.  A real job.  This decade-long academic fantasy had been fun, but he knew it couldn’t last forever.  What else could he do?  He’d been a student for nearly all of his life.  Eli was going to end up working in the furniture store with Levi after all.

At once, the alcohol went bad in his stomach, probably from his worrying.  Eli clumsily rushed from the shower before he threw up his dinner.  When he was sure he had nothing but bile left in his throat, Eli brushed his teeth and finished his shower.  He left his glasses on the counter as he wandered back into the bedroom, not bothering to even dry his hair.  Eli found his way into a clean pair of cotton pants, and then into bed.

Out in the hall, he could hear Valentina.  She was back from taking Dinah and Ceres out, and talking to them.  After another moment she entered the bedroom.  Eli was thankful she was alone.  He loved his dogs, but he was not in the mood to have two growing-ever-larger foxhounds climbing on top of him.

Valentina went into the bathroom for her own shower, which was far less eventful than Eli’s.  It was a quick task, and with the champagne washed from her hair and skin and her make-up removed, Valentina quickly wove her hair into a French braid.  She slipped into a t shirt and a little pair of sleep shorts.

Eli looked up at her when he heard the soft sound of plastic on his nightstand.  Valentina had set down his glasses, and then slipped down to sit on the edge of the bed beside him.

“You left them by the sink.  Do you want that cup of tea?” Valentina ran her fingers through his wet hair.  Subtly, she checked for a fever, or any other last effects of his sudden sickness.  He wasn’t sure how she knew he’d vomited, and even with his aversion to being taken care of, he appreciated her touch.

“Is this the price of happiness?” Eli asked, ignoring her question.

“This is the price of drinking too much, too quickly, yes.  But the price of happiness?  I don’t know.”  She watched him, his eyes were red and barely open.

“What do I do if I’m expelled?” Eli felt around for her hand.  When he found it, he placed it over his heart. “This is the only life I know how to live.”

“You’ll just start a new life.  And you’ll do whatever makes you happy.” Valentina assured him, keeping her voice soft.

“What if I can’t?”  His voice caught, even telepathically.

“What if you can’t what?  Why wouldn’t you be able to be happy and start over?”  She asked, confused.

“Every choice I make seems to cost another.  I have these gifts, but what did they cost me?  For my happiness and love with you, I have to give up my work.  What if to find my next happiness, I have to give you up?”  Eli reached up to touch her face.

“Elijah Coates,” Valentina asked sadly, “Why don’t you think you deserve happiness?”

“What have I done to earn it?” Eli had started to cry.  His tears were contagious, Valentina’s eye welling up as well.  Her heart was breaking for him.  Valentina wanted to hope it was just the alcohol talking, but she was afraid he earnestly believed he had to fight for the right to be happy.  And not just to be happy.  Eli seemed to believe he had to earn each and every bit of happiness in his life.

“Eli, you are an amazing man.  You are smart and strong, and you are a good person.”  Valentina sniffled, holding back tears. “You don’t need to earn your happiness.  But even if you did, you already would have awarded yourself a hundred lifetimes of happiness.”

He blinked back his tears, and pulled her down to his chest.  Eli wrapped his arm around her and held her close.  “I love you, Valentina.  If nothing else, I have you.”

“I love you too, Eli.  Now, please… Get some rest.  I’m sure things will look better in the morning.” Valentina kissed his forehead.  She shut off the light beside the bed, and crawled into the blankets beside him.  As Eli put his arms around her and kissed her good night to the cheek she managed a small smile.

Moving in with Eli turned out to be an easy transition.  They agreed that the end of the month would be the day they started to share their lives, giving them each three weeks to wrap up all their individual loose ends.  Eli didn’t have much to wrap up.  He only had to add her name to the lease and inquire about pets.  He also decided to ask if he could buy out the demonstration unit, to ensure their privacy.

Valentina had a bit more to do.  She started with packing up whatever was left of Liebe’s in the carriage house and sending it back to her, cash on delivery for the shipping.  She then set to cleaning up her own things and getting them ready to move.  Valentina didn’t have much trouble getting out of her own rental agreement, thankfully.  Her landlord had already started eyeing potential tenants since Liebe didn’t return in January.

Once again, Levi being a mover was extremely advantageous.  He picked up Valentina and her boxes in the furniture store’s delivery truck, drove her to Eli’s and helped her carry everything inside.  He even helped them unpack.  Valentina was a little nervous to have Levi going through her clothes, but he respectful.  In fact, the only thing he seemed to be looking for was a pair of jeans.

“Look, Eli! Valentina owns pairs of jeans, Eli!” Levi paraded a pair of Valentina jeans in front of Eli as his brother was working to combine their book collections.  She was sure that had a deeper meaning to the Coates brothers, but to Valentina, they were just being weird.

Eli and Valentina’s lives blended well, as did their schedules.  Since his accident, Eli decided to start working from home more.  He set three days of office hours for the first years to see him, electing Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to be in the lecture hall or Utkin’s office from noon until five in the evening.  She would often go to the lecture hall with him, researching while he talked to her classmates.  She thought his recent detachment from school was a healthy sign. Valentina was happy to see him developing a life outside of Denvellia.

During his time at home he studied gift development and Valentina taught him Russian.  It wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be, being that Eli only had to recognize sounds and symbols, instead of having to learn to recreate them.  Sometimes he would go swimming, either alone or with Levi.  While Eli was studying or swimming, Valentina would do chores, read, call her father, or go out shopping.  She’d taken up yoga as well, just to have an activity outside of the house and hoping to make new friends.

In the evening, they both put work aside, and spent their time together.  Eli and Valentina vowed to have dinner together every night, whether dinner is held in their home or out.  Eli didn’t usually go out much, aside from the pubs with his brother.  With Valentina’s influence, he decided to try at least one new place a week, though was hesitant to try art shows again.

That morning Valentina stirred awake, feeling Eli’s lips on her shoulder and his hand slipping around her middle.  She let out a little murmur of pleasure, rolling over to face him.  Valentina was about to lean in to kiss him when she felt something cold and wet on her leg.  She let out a gasp and a laugh.  They now shared their bed and home with two English foxhound puppies, Ceres and Dinah.  Valentina had only wanted one dog, but the two sisters from the same litter did not want to be separated and Eli relented.  Knowing her owners were awake, Dinah climbed over their bodies and poised on Eli’s chest to lick his face.  Ceres was sniffing around the bed, looking for the stuffed rabbit she’d carried into the bed with her the night before.

“Good morning, Eli.” Valentina mused as she sat up.  He leaned in to give her the kiss she’d wanted, putting Dinah aside. “We should take them for a walk before anything else.”  Eli looked a little disappointed.  He had something else in mind for their morning.

“I was hoping we could spend some time alone…” Eli slid out of the bed, adjusting his sleep pants.  Valentina eyed him with a smirk.

“Well, we should probably shower before we go out.  Especially after last night.” She crawled out after him not bothering to fix her silk sleep shorts or matching camisole.  She’d be taking them off soon enough.  Valentina chased Eli into the bathroom, both of them naked before they shut the door.  Eli kept condoms in almost every room of the apartment.  Valentina wasn’t surprised the first time she found a box in the bathroom, or in the office, or in the living room.  What was Eli anticipating?  But with his libido and apparent fear of pregnancy, she could understand.  And Valentina certainly wasn’t complaining.  They were amazing together.  Valentina had never been with some one that both gentlemanly enough to care about what she wanted, but also confident with what he was doing.

A short while later found Valentina walking on Eli’s arm through park, as Dinah and Ceres pulled at their leather leads.  Eli was dressed for the warm May weather, wearing a light blue button down shirt and the trousers of a navy cotton suit.  His sleeves were rolled at the elbow, and his collar undone.  Valentina wore a new backless dress of white lace with cap sleeves.  The hem came to mid-thigh, and collar sat across her clavicle.  Valentina adored the dress the moment she laid her eyes on it. She accented her dress with a pair of heels and pair of half palm leather gloves, both in canary.

She felt like one of the society women that she always saw back home in New York, or would see in London.  Women with no job other than to manage their own social calendars, and make sure their shoes were still in style.  Valentina had always felt set apart from that world, even though she was technically in it.  When she was in high school, she had always thought it to be the most boring fate in the world.  Now, looking up at Eli and watching him walk their two dogs through the upscale park, each of them were wearing designer clothes, neither having to worry about work until they wanted to, she could stand to be one of those society women.

“It’s so beautiful today.” Eli told her after whistling for Ceres to get back on the path and away from a water fountain.  The dogs were both extremely intelligent and were being trained to respond to verbal and whistling commands.

“It is!  So warm and you look so handsome.  I’m the luckiest girl in London.” She squeezed is arm.  Eli smiled at her and leaned in and kissed her cheek.

“I’m the lucky one, Valentina.” He told her.

“So… I got a call from my father yesterday.” She beamed. Valentina shivered as Eli ran his hand down her spine.

“Oh, what did have to say?  Any news about whatever he was working on?” Eli rested his hand at the small her of her back and the soft exposed skin rose to goose pimples under his touch.

“No, still classified, but he did say that he was going to Washington this week, and then maybe coming to London.  If he is, he would like to meet you.” Valentina smiled at him, optimistic for his response.

“Really, Colonel Lytton will be coming to London?  Well, if he does make it here, I would be very happy to meet him in person.  We’ll go out to dinner.  I want to thank him for bringing up such a beautiful, smart and witty young woman.  Maybe I’ll invite Levi and Lin, since that as much of my family as I have.  Would he be bringing his wife?”   Eli asked her.  He whistled at the dogs again, in a different pitch, and both stopped in their place and waited for their masters.  Eli had stopped them at a bench, and took a seat beside Valentina.

“He didn’t say if Ekaterina would be with him.  And what do you mean Levi is your only family?  What about your parents?  I mean, I know they aren’t in London, but they are still your family.”  Valentina took his hand, looking concerned.

“Oh, Valentina, I don’t think so.  I know we said no secrets, so I won’t bother to lie or make it seem better than it is.  I don’t like to go home.  When I was a child, my father beat me.  My mother did nothing.  Levi was the only one that ever protected me, stood up for me, and was there for me.  Especially after last Christmas, I just can’t be around them.    My father tries to destroy everything good in my life.  I won’t let him destroy what we have.”  He met her eyes as he told her.  She could feel the pain through his mind.

“Eli, I had no idea.  You and Levi never let on that anything like that went on at home.” Valentina was worried for him.

“We don’t like to talk about, naturally.  And I used to let it dictate my life, but after my accident, I can’t live this way.  I have to celebrate what me happy and move beyond what doesn’t.”  Eli leaned in and punctuated his statement with a long kiss.  Her eyes widened, and Valentina kissed him back.  He moaned in her mouth.  If this was how he celebrated what made him happy, Valentina was ready to pop the champagne.

Valentina pulled away from his lips wearing a smile on her face.  “You don’t need to be ashamed of your past, I love you for who you are, and that means everything that makes you Eli.”

“I don’t know how much of my past Levi told you about while I was out…” Eli started, taking her hand in his.  Valentina found that half palm gloves seemed to interest Eli just as much as red heels did – perhaps even more so.

“He didn’t really mention anything.  Just that he’d never seen you so invested in a relationship.  And that you love me.”  Valentina supplied for him.

“Yes, both are true.  I’ve never told anyone about my childhood before.  I’ve never shared my telepathy or illusion with a girlfriend before.  Valentina, you are the first person in my life that’s made me want to try in a relationship.  It sounds bad when I say it like that,” Eli doubted himself.

“No, Eli.  I know what you mean.  If you aren’t in love, and you know it won’t happen, then it can feel like you don’t care what happens.  It could end the next moment and you wouldn’t mind.  But with you… I can’t even bear the thought of not having you in my life.”  Valentina told him.  Her voice got sad just at the hypothetical thought of losing Eli made her heart ache.

The next morning, Eli woke with as much passion as he had the night before.  Or maybe doubly so, considering their start to the morning.  Not that Valentina minded too much.  She knew he was truly feeling like himself when the telepathic dirty jokes returned.

“Eli! What has gotten into you?” Valentina joked as she got dressed, staying on the far side of the room from him to avoid having her butt pinched, or her dressing hindered.

“The idea of me getting into you has gotten into me.” He smirked, as he watched her dress, sitting at the end of his bed.

“Are you trying to make up for all eight weeks in this morning?” She laughed.

“Think we can?” Eli asked as if he were seriously considering it. “What would that be? One hundred twenty times?  One hundred eighty?”

“Is that why you aren’t getting dressed?  Clothes would only get in the way of our sex-athon?” Valentina mused as she buttoned up an ivory chiffon blouse over her nude bra.

“I was enjoying the feeling of water evaporating on my skin, but if you want ease of access…” Eli stood up and dropped his towel with a laugh.  Valentina laughed with him.

“Put that away and get dressed!” Valentina playfully threw a pair of his underwear at his chest.

“That’s not where you were telling me to put it when we were in the shower.”  He teased, but started to dress.  Eli wandered into his closet, giving Valentina a kiss as he passed, and decided on what to wear.  He picked steel grey over light blue.

“I thought that if you cloud behave yourself in public, we might spend the day in the city.”  Valentina suggested as she buttoned up a pair of black high-waisted shorts.

Eli stepped out of the closet looking like the Elijah that sat in the front of the lecture hall and tried to ignore the underachievers around him.  The Elijah that got nervous when Valentina flirted with him.  He wore a waistcoat over a shirt, tie and trousers.  He sat down on his bed again to pull on his shoes and roll his sleeves.  “You are wearing a see through shirt and shorts that barely cover your ass.  Behavior not guaranteed.”

“Eli, I could put on a hazmat suit and you’d be ready to go.” Valentina laughed.

“At least we’d have protection,” Eli joked as he pulled her into his arms.  He gave her anther soft kiss.  “That idea sounds nice, Valentina.”

“Which one? Your sex-athon or the day in London?” She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.  Valentina felt his hands slide over her back.

“As much as I want to spend the day in bed with you, I would appreciate a romantic day in the city.” He smiled and held her close.

“I’m glad you can be reasoned with, Eli.” Valentina laughed.

Outside of his bedroom, Eli’s libido calmed significantly.  Breakfast was a wonderful light meal at a French café, followed by a walk in a nearby park.  They followed the path, hand in hand, admiring the calming landscaping and suggesting activities for the day.

“I would like to learn Russian,” Eli told her after a small silence as they walked by a lake.

“Right now?” Valentina was surprised by his sudden thought.

“No, just in general, I would like to be able to read it.  Not that I don’t trust your translations, or want to spend any less time translating with you.  Please don’t think that.” Eli told her.  He squeezed her hand.

“What are you planning?” Valentina looked up at him, trying to read his mind.

“I’m going to start researching the Prizrak Rytsarya.  I think I’ll need the skills to translate any information I find.” He stroked the side of her hand with his thumb.

“Prizrak Rytsarya? The phantom knights?”  Valentina sounded skeptical. “Is that some kind of fairy tale?”

“No, not a fairy tale.  It’s some kind of military group.  I’m not sure but they helped me, and I want to know more.”  He explained.

“Please be careful, Eli.” Valentina stopped walking, stopping Eli as well. “I just… I don’t want another Fairgarden.”  Eli nodded in reply and leaned in to kiss her.  Valentina took his other hand as she kissed him back.

“There is another thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Eli started as their lips parted.  She could feel his trepidation in her mind.  “In the hospital, I told you that you could come to stay with me…”

“Eli,” Valentina met his eyes.  She wasn’t sure what to say.

“I just want to know why not.”  Eli hid his hurt well, but Valentina could still sense it.  Perhaps he was still mad at her.  Maybe he hid his anger behind his passion.

“I love you, Eli.  I was worried about you, and I know you were happy to be awake…” As Valentina rambled, Eli waited for his answer.  He’d put his heart on the line.  With the wrong words, she might break it.

Eli dropped her hands, and looked over her shoulder at the lake.  He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Please, Valentina? Just the truth?”

“I was afraid you’d regret your invitation.  Or that you would regret me, Eli.  I was afraid if I moved in with you, things would fall apart between us.  I didn’t want that.” She took up his hands again.  Valentina stepped into his line of sight.

“Why didn’t you tell me?  Valentina, I’ve been agonizing over it for two weeks.”  Was Eli blinking tears out of his eyes?

“I didn’t want to hurt you Eli.” She pleaded with him.  Valentina was afraid the end was nearing.

“I don’t regret you, Valentina.” His voice was soft in her mind.  Almost meek. “I love you.  I could never regret you, but if we continue to keep secrets from one another, we will surely fall apart.” Eli told her.

“No more secrets, Eli.  I’m afraid.” She met his eyes, standing close to him.  She did not speak above a whisper. “I’m afraid we’ll move too fast, and lose you.  I’m afraid we’ll go too slowly, and I’ll lose you.”

“We can’t live in fear.  I learned that while I was locked away.  Yuri showed me what second guessing my choices could cost me.  I don’t have much in my life, so I don’t have much to lose.  But if I lost you…” Eli lifted a hand to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.  He traced his thumb along her cheek. “If I lost you, I would lose myself.”

Tears came to Valentina’s eyes.  She’d never heard anyone speak such poetic words outside books or romantic films.  She’d certainly never had anyone say them to her.  Her hands found his face.  “Eli… I’m not going anywhere.  I love you.”

Eli put his arms around her, holding her tight to his chest.  Valentina’s arms went around his neck.  They stood on the bank of the lake like that for a while.   People walked by, animals chittered and squeaked around them, and the tension passed.  Starting to feel better, Valentina lifted her head from his shoulder and pressed her lips to his neck.  Instantly Eli let out half a moan, trying to stifle the sound.  After another moment they were both laughing, and kissing.

“Can we get a puppy, Eli?” Valentina joked with him.

“Are you going to clean up after him?” He laughed with her.  She was relieved to see a smile on his face again.  Eli pulled away, only to continue on their walk, this this time keeping his arm around her.  

They continued their light hearted conversation until they decided to go to a book store.  Valentina watched him as he browsed through some books, while thoughts weighed on her mind.  Eli was right, there was no use living in fear.  Everything in her body told her to embrace him in her life.  She would go for it.  

Valentina smiled.  How strange it was to think that Eli’s eight week coma might have been such a positive element in their relationship.  She was thinking about how strong Eli was, emotionally and mentally, admiring her love for him.  That is, until he held up a copy of the Kama Sutra with a smirk.  She would be living with this now.