I wish I could be feminine without it being painful. Without it causing people to hate, harass, or invalidate me. Without it meaning I'm less of a man. Without it excluding me from my community. Without it being a contradiction to who I am.
Why can't feminine beauty for once be a trans man?
I long for ths self expression that's allowed to other queer people. To trans women, to enbies, to femmes, to cis gay men.
I want to be covered in glitter, rainbows, lace, and spikes, and still be treated and perceived as the man I am.
And it hurts even more when I can't say that I'm a binary trans man due to both my political views of rejecting the patriarchal gender binary and the fact I feel so terribly alienated from binary men because of how deeply effeminate, queer, and neurodivergent I am.
It hurts when I'm excluded from transsexual conversations even though I want to fully medically transition.
I hate that I can't truly see myself in a single other transman despite me being one.
I hate that I'm crying over this vent post, and I hate that no matter what I'll always feel like too much of a faggot to truly be accepted as a man.
Why isn't there a space in manhood for me?
