#edgarapoe

there used to be solidity to the way the cries came for me - they hunted me throughout the night and found me in the morning light to let me start each day afraid.

I wouldn’t recommend falling; you have to hit the ground eventually.

My strength is not in people. They let you down and fail you. Most people are good, but sometimes you get a bad one, like the scrapings at the bottom of the barrel, and they leave you when you want them to stay. I will not blame the tragedy of bad people on the Creator. We make our own choices, but, oh, God, couldn’t you have made humankind a softer species? If you were dying, who of your friends would you want to spend your last days with? More importantly, if you were being dragged away to die, who would go with you into the arms of certain death? Who would go in your place? Be careful, my father told me, whom you associate with. Father, forgive me, I’ve left your advice in the dust behind me, and I have paid the price; Now I pick it back up and wipe it clean, determined to make you proud.People are good, but I grow more cautious day by day.

Things i want to say to you but won’t: i. (humbly) “i’m sorry i text you so often. i love talking to you, so much so that i never want to stop. you don’t say so, but i think i annoy you. i’m sorry.” ii. (somewhat bitterly) “you never respond anymore. why?” iii. (sadly) “it’s because you love her, isn’t it?” iv. (whispered, too soft for you to hear) “i love you too, you know.”

these words shouldn't be shouted, or said truly aloud. they are the kind of words that should be whispered to nature and left, soft and low, on the earth. these words should be sung quietly into the ear of the breeze, to be carried to an insomniac who needs a lullaby. these words should be said, very thoughtfully, very slowly, to a best friend in the afternoon twilight, when the sun is scraping the hills, painting the world in momentary gold. these are soft, afternoon words, not to be tossed around on blogs in printed letters or painted boldly on walls in calligraphy. these are words you scratch into your soul, that you etch lightly on your heart in your own handwriting, so that any one looking has to look very, very carefully to find them.